Skip to main content

How the Government Shutdown Will Affect Your Butt

Due to the current (US) government shutdown, your buttocks has been closed. For the duration of the shutdown, your buttocks will be unavailable for use. Should you need to sit, we recommend standing, lying or kneeling. Sitting will be awkward and probably not possible without having access to your buttocks. Should you find that you need to defecate, you will either need to "hold it" or in emergencies, you may be allowed to vomit. We do not take the closing of your buttocks lightly. In fact it really stinks. The use of your buttocks should be returned to you, shortly after the government is once again, fully funded.

Comments

LDM said…
Oh no! Soon we will all be politicians- full of crap!

Popular posts from this blog

Hormel is Dumb: No More Little Sizzlers

We appreciate your interest in LITTLE SIZZLERS® Sausage. Unfortunately, this item has been discontinued. We value our loyal consumers and apologize for any disappointment our decision has caused. Please visit www.hormel.com for coupons, promotions and recipes using many of our other products.

SPRUCE Project

We were lucky enough to be given a tour of the SPRUCE Project in the Chippewa National Forest, North of Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Our tour guide was W. Robert Nettles IV, SPRUCE Project Operations Manager at Oak Ridge National Laboratory . I went into the site fueled primarily by my lifetime of interest in the natural environment; as well as my interest from volunteering as a park ranger in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. However, by the time I was done, my interest in technology, from over 10 years as an IT professional, was thoroughly peaked! Definitely off the "beaten path," in a spruce bog in Northern Minnesota, this site boasts an incredible array of scientific equipment that is supported by an amazing technological infrastructure! There are control sites and some of the chambers have added heat, carbon dioxide, or both. A lot of equipment and experimental testing goes on 24/7, 365 days per year. These guys know their stuff. The 10 chambers are connected ...

Measles Outbreak?

The people dying from measles are unvaccinated. This is preventable. Those who are pushing misinformation are participating in the cause of these deaths.