I am CuTRis

RFK, Jr.'s Backward Healthcare UnAssociated Press September 6, 2025 Good news Americans! RFK Jr. is calling for the use of bloodletting , as a primary medical treatment. By utilizing outdated medical procedures, we will be healthier than ever!

He looks familiar.

Today the clinic told me my cloth mask isn't good enough anymore, the school district is talking about no longer requiring masks, and I think the Federal government is planning to send us all N95 masks. I'm so glad everything has been thought through and all are on the "same page..."

There is a blood shortage and only 3% of the population donates. If you can spare a pint, please do.

My wife just spent two hours on the phone, to fix her father’s medical/health insurance account. Someone updated it with a new address, health tests for someone else and an ER visit he never had. Not only is this a potential for incorrect billing, but the poor test results on his records for another person, could impact his already too lengthy wait for a donor kidney. He doesn’t speak English very well, so he is at the mercy of the system—unless a son or daughter intervenes. My wife was disconnected a few times, before finally reaching a supervisor who began the process to remedy this serious mistake. This is why it is important to have quality employees, and reward those who are competent and who care.

CuTRis’ Condition Improved UnAssociated Press July 22, 2021 After his miraculous space flight, CuTRis was rushed to the hospital for an emergency ponchoectomy! During reentry, the rain poncho he was wearing partially melted and stuck to the daring astronaut’s asbestos underwear. After the procedure, CuTRis was debriefed, before showering and dressing for breakfast. When asked about the event, CuTRis merely replied, ”It had to be done, so people don’t forget to try hard, dream big, and reach for the sky!” We at the UnAssociated Press couldn’t agree more. If nothing else, exploration always leads to new technology and advancement. At the very least, private sector space flight is a great distraction from the depressing news that we are exposed to every single day. Aim high!

I thought it was tough being one of 250 applicants for a job. Until my teacher wife was contacted to signup for a COVID-19 vaccination and was 8807 in line. I have to wonder if this is the best we can do?

Trump Undergoing New Covid Treatment UnAssociated Press October 2, 2020 Shortly after testing positive for COVID-19, President Donald Trump has begun a new treatment. Twice per day for the next two weeks, the Trump will have a powerful UV light shining up his buttoxical region for 30 minutes. Immediately following, he will slam down a chocolate donut and two cups of bleach. Mr. Trump is said to be in good spirits, and has already fired two doctors and a nurse. The flowers, compliments of the Proud Boys, are said to be lovely.

I understand the outcry that Donald Trump suggested injecting disinfectant into the human body as a way to combat COVID-19. But we also need to give the President some credit. If you follow this advice, you will likely be dead long before you catch Coronavirus.

Are most doctors in the USA legalized drug dealers? It seems that even when there are other ways to address health issues, they prefer prescribing drugs over all other options. "Here take some of these man."

Health Partners and Health Partners Clinic is charging me for two clinic visits for a 20 minute preventative (supposed to be covered by insurance) appointment because the doctor talked to me about lowering blood pressure. How can they bill for two visits for a single appointment??? What other business can get away with this? Update: Just 6 hours into my publicizing this all over social media, Health Partners (after first calling to say the charge was legitimate) just called to tell me the charges had been recoded and removed from my account.

My niece Jiena has a busy week in preparation for her bone marrow transplant. Please keep her in your prayers. https://www.facebook.com/PrayersForJienaAndMason/?ref=br_rs

I find it interesting that Donald Trump would choose a Muslim , (TV) doctor to share his health summary with. Doesn't Mr. Trump know that Dr. Oz 's parents came from Turkey ? I thought Trump was against Muslim immigrants coming to the United States! http://money.cnn.com/2016/09/14/media/dr-oz-donald-trump-taping/index.html

Most of the time, doctors don't really know what's going on when something happens to you. They get together and talk over some possibilities; and then they charge a lot for not knowing. Me and my friend Dave both had a parent in the hospital recently after something unexpected and somewhat scary happened. In both cases, the doctors found nothing. What I mean is, they had no idea what happened or why it happened. Here is an imaginary "consult" me and Dave had during band practice. Hey Dave, why did that guitar string break? I’m not sure Kevin; maybe it got strummed too hard. I think maybe it frombled a bit when you played it Dave—I definitely saw some frombledge. Yeah maybe Kevin, but I see no real reason it broke. Me either Dave. Let’s charge $786 now for this "consult." OK.

Once I realized I was due to get a colonoscopy , I decided that it would be best to get it behind me as soon as possible. Three days before the procedure, I had to eat a low fiber diet and I'm telling you, that surely was for the ass! Yes, everyone who says the prep is the shits is correct. I got pretty sick for some reason , during the process of taking large overdoses of three kinds of laxative s. My nose was running and I threw up and let me tell you, I felt like crap. I had also heard stories about having bad results and one person even told me she had to go back and swallow a camera! Apparently after the camera sent images to a fanny pack she had to crap it out or "they" would need to perform surgery to remove it! My first response was "so did they want the camera back after you crapped it out?" The answer was "no;" so I'm assuming it must have been a disposable camera ... The actual procedure, when a doctor finally pushes a camera up yo...