I am CuTRis

You can buy my books here... Link to my Amazon Author Page http://www.amazon.com/Kevin-J.-Curtis/e/B004SBGR7W/ Link to my Barnes and Noble Author Page https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Kevin%20Curtis

Across the water... Flying high above the Earth... Soaring through space and time... Discussing wearing only pants and no shirt (vs. Just a shirt and no pants like Pooh)... Realizing Justin Jefferson has a big head... I like draft horses... and draft beer... Wow! My 4th grade teacher? Black Bantam Might as well be walkin' on the Sun...

The "dad signal" went up and my wife was shouting about something, and when I asked her what was going on, she had her bug fighting stick, which she says is just to push the plants aside, but I know a bug fighting stick when I see one! She said there was a small rabbit in her garden laying dead on its side by her spinach. I'm the only one who grows spinach, so I told her I didn't want to deal with the dead rabbit. Then I got that look . Because of course I'm supposed to be the one to go deal with it. But then she cracked me up by telling me we should send in a probe! Suddenly I was in a Star Trek episode. I told her to grab a bag and I went and got a stick. I found the rabbit laying next to her carrots, aka, spinach. So I fished it out with the stick and then put it in the bag to put in the garbage. Yay dad!

When I was at the dentist today, they told me everything was good but they recommended a fluoride treatment to keep it that way. They said the fluoride would soak into my teeth and make them hard. I don't believe I ever had a fluoride treatment before, and insurance wouldn't pay for it but I decided to do it anyway because it wasn't that much. My teeth felt weird for a while after they painted the fluoride varnish on them. Later, when the dogs that live behind us started barking at me, I showed my teeth! They all ran away, because they must have recognized how hard my teeth are now.

“ICE took Jesus!” shouted Garcia. “Immigration?” replied Hassan. “But Jesus is a citizen, and a carpenter.” “They said he is a criminal,” said Garcia. “And here illegally.” “It’s the Orange One,” replied Bob. “He is sending everyone who he doesn’t like away to foreign prisons.” “But they will die there!” shouted Garcia. “Yes,” said Hassan. “But he would kill them here if he could. In fact, some of his followers would probably cheer if he did.” “Until it happens to them,” said Bob. “They don’t think it will,” said Garcia. “How do we get Jesus back?” asked Hassan. “It will be difficult,” answered Bob. “The inquisition is brandishing the holy book and waving the flag of the Republic!” “But we must try,” said Garcia. “Aye,” said Bob. “We must try.” “At all cost!” agreed Hassan. “The Orange Liar must be deposed.” -KJC20250420

You can buy my books here... Link to my Amazon Author Page http://www.amazon.com/Kevin-J.-Curtis/e/B004SBGR7W/ Link to my Barnes and Noble Author Page https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Kevin%20Curtis

Link to my Amazon Author Page http://www.amazon.com/Kevin-J.-Curtis/e/B004SBGR7W/ ----------------------------------------------- Link to my Barnes and Noble Author Page https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Kevin%20Curtis

Click Links Below Kevin J. Curtis @ Barnes & Noble Kevin J. Curtis @ Amazon

I had a little bit of time to go hiking today. When I got to my hiking place, it immediately started raining. It wasn't raining too hard, so I kept going. The creek still had ice but the water was flowing. When I started climbing up the bluffs it was a great View. Eventually, I got to the prairie and then I crossed that. Then there were more trees and brambles to get through, to get to my car. This is a bit of grapevine. I love macro photography. I call this place Coyote Grove. Because the first time I came here with my son we saw a coyote go in there. It is so full of brambles, that even I don't like going through it very much. Along with seeing this giant, I saw some really huge deer tracks.

It wasn't easy living with a bear. The bear didn't talk. It brought things home and stuck them in the way. It would eat certain carefully stocked items until they were completely gone. Sometimes it would take the freshest things first, and leave the older things to get even older. On other days, the bear would bring home huge quantities of fresh food and expired cans of food. It would stash them here and there in the way and then leave them and never use them or look at them again until they started rotting and he had to throw them out. The bear lived like it was by itself. It was constantly moving his things around so that he couldn't find them anymore. He would try to talk to the bear, but often it wouldn't even look at him. He got pretty angry with the bear at times. Like if he just bought eggs and they were very expensive and the bear ate them all up in one sitting, and never replaced them. The bear made messes, and he was always cleaning them up. But even though he...

Norm L By Kevin J. Curtis Finding n95 masks at the thrift store was a wonderful piece of luck thought Norm L. Johnson, as he walked across the street to his car. He was careful this time to move his mask out of the way before taking a sip of his green tea latte. He didn't want to repeat the disaster that happened yesterday afternoon, when he tried to drink through the mask and the entire concoction ended up in his lap. “Damn this pandemic!” He said aloud. He examined the masks he’d just purchased for only 9 cents each. One of them had a bad stain on the front, but the other two looked like they had hardly been used! One never knew what kind of treasures you could find at the thrift store! A new n95 would cost more than a dollar. Norm L. Johnson pulled his Fiat out onto the road and began driving home. Before he’d gotten far, he was blocked by a small stick in the road. A squirrel had dropped it there earlier. There was nothing to do, except turn the Fiat around and drive back ...

In anticipation of releasing the 8th Grayson book, "Grayson Learns About COVID-19" I've decided to share the first 7 on YouTube. If you know a child who would enjoy a free storytime, feel free to share the links. The sixth story is, "I Need an Egg!" https://youtu.be/2ZgY5Aj-UE0

In anticipation of releasing the 8th Grayson book, "Grayson Learns About COVID-19" I've decided to share the first 7 on YouTube. If you know a child who would enjoy a free storytime, feel free to share the links. The fourth story is, "Grayson's New Job!" https://youtu.be/l5Y4Yl9KR8k

Shitfuk Institute By Kevin J. Curtis Copyright 2019               He was employed in the lowest of the low jobs known to humankind. He worked the help-desk at the Shitfuk Institute. While others on the upper floors enjoyed rank and status, the help-desk worked in the basement below the basement. Cleaning up technological messes was their primary focus. Each day, new work and responsibilities were given to the help-desk team with no thought or planning. Data was important to management, so they manipulated the numbers with great zealousness.                He had joined the Shitfuk Institute two years earlier and was originally proud to be part of Shitfuk Industries, headquartered at 456 Bada Bing Road. The corporation had been created a hundred years earlier by a retired army major named, Hugh G. Shitfuk. Major Shitfuk had been instrumental i...

Scrotius By Kevin J. Curtis 20180109 Serving on the council was something that Scrotius had dreamed about since he was a young child—dragging his small bag across the sand to play in his neighbor’s large orifice. The orifice encompassed nearly two city blocks and all the boys loved to play in it whenever they could. It was built to accommodate many of the games that were popular at the time. But now he was a grown man; and while he had been elected to the council, he felt as if he had also been given the shaft; a fact that was all too true. The shaft was long by today’s standards. It had to be. Scrotius supported the entire moral weight of the community by waving his shaft frantically whenever something peculiar was seen near the public bathhouse. This happened with increased frequency since the new emperor had come to power. Promiscuous was a decent ruler; though a bit of a despot in things involving the public bathhouses. By public declaration, it was now illegal to use the ...

R. Rosicky’s in the USA! By Kevin J. Curtis Rock Rosicky was tough as nails. He had disappeared in enemy territory during his third tour of duty in one of the most dangerous places on Earth. There was little hope of his return now—some 14 days after he missed his extraction date. Losing an operative such as Rock was not unheard of, but it was also not something that Major Schlitz liked dealing with. He knew Rocky personally and it was not only a huge loss to the Special Forces unit, but also a deeply personal one. Sadly, Major Schlitz was contemplating closing the entire project down and pulling all of his resources and operations out of the country. It wasn’t that he was too afraid that Rock would talk if he was captured; or even that he had any really critical information to give if he was broken during torture. It was more that the whole project was now severely undermined and the idea that it was still a secret to the enemy forces was both in jeopardy and in doubt. As ...

Little known Children's folklore figures... ...And once every week, Garbage Man travels through the neighborhood in his flying garbage truck — to leave bags of garbage to all of the bad little boys and girls along his route...

http://yournewswire.com/study-finds-lazy-people-significantly-more-intelligent/ While listening to the news this morning, I heard about a “study” that says that lazy people are smarter than everyone else. My first thought was, ”Hey! I know that guy!” Then I thought, ”Wow! You posted all those pictures on Facebook? You need to rest dude! ”

By Kevin J. Curtis     On the Planet Ganus 12, things were not good. There was a rift that had developed between the inhabitants and it was blamed on how they looked—rather than how they acted. It was looked at superficially without ever trying to understand the true reality of the unfortunate situation.     The Pounders looked like everyone else in most ways. They had two eyes, two arms, two legs a nose and mouth just like everyone did. Except that they had wedge-shaped heads. Oh don’t get me wrong, there was nothing substantially wrong with their heads; they were just wedge-shaped. The Pounders’ heads were of relatively normal size and were topped by normal looking hair.     Most Pounders went to school, had jobs and were hardly noticed by the rest of society—except for one thing. A certain percentage of Pounders were involved in an activity that had led to the unfortunate name this group had become known by. There were some who for no apparent ...

VORTEX By Kevin J. Curtis             Reginald Vortex was the furthest thing from a superhero. He was smallish and slightly overweight. He wore glasses and had a rather prominent nose. Beneath this protuberance, was a thin line of a moustache that adorned his upper lip. Next-door to Reginald and his wife Twitchy, lived the Butt-Pollens; with whom Reginald did not get along well with. The family was crass and insisted on making everything their business—and shouting advice to Reginald at any given moment. “You ought to trim that bush,” barked Oscar Butt-Pollen; patriarch of the Butt-Pollen family. Reginald looked at the small, scraggly spirea and replied, “Yeah, maybe.” Oscar’s wife Ginger Butt-Pollen was hanging dingy underwear from an equally dingy clothesline. She added, “I’d paint that fence if I was you.” Reginald looked at the weathered wooden fence and replied, “Yeah, maybe.” The Butt-Pollen’s son Max c...