I am CuTRis

When the people making the decisions about what software I should use to do my job have never used any similar software, how do they make the decision? And why don't they feel the need to ask me or one of the other guys who actually does the work?

Whenever a company brings in the bobs, it is usually to pretend to be looking for solutions to bad business decisions—that they (i.e. management) have no intention of fixing appropriately. This tactic, however, is a way of deflecting the bad decision making onto a consulting firm that will gladly accept the blame—for tens of thousands of dollars in fees. It is a win-win for "everyone."

I've actually been pretty busy in my job. But I have gotten pretty good at it so I can do it pretty fast. Therefore I can keep up with the current workload and do some other projects. Still, the manager had to throw another rewrite of some documentation at me today—with the (highly motivating) comment that I'm "not that busy right now." It made my blood boil. I said to look at "sent" mail instead of incoming to gauge the activity level. It seems that if I work fast and keep the customers satisfied, it translates into "not that busy" to someone who looks only at the number of unfinished requests. So should I work more slowly then? MONDAY UPDATE: I just finished Friday's work. I haven’t started the stuff that came in over the weekend. I’m going to have lunch first since I’m really "not that busy." I might be able to start on today’s work this afternoon. It’s great being appreciated. Updated Update: Apparently we have an office tattle...

My boss who is on vacation, decided to answer her two month old emails at 3:00 AM this morning. My coworker and I are not sure if we should reply or not since this stuff was all completed so long ago—and replying to a two month old email might just inspire four month old responses sometime after the holidays...

It’s 387 minutes until quittin’ time, I’ve got a full cup of tea, half a bag of crackers, it’s Friday... and I just insulted the new version of our company software to the bosses. Hit it! It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.

Nothing can give you a sense of security, like working at a company that uses strategery .

Dave got a new job. He started today. I sent him this helpful advice. Remember... 1. Try not to learn everything in one day, that pisses people off. 2. Try not to piss people off on your first day. 3. Try not to get pissed off. 4. Piss off!

I’ve spent some time over the last few years, working in a very high class building. For the entire 3 years I’ve spent time there, the toilet paper in the bathroom has been held in place by a rubber band . Yesterday the rubber band was broken and on the floor. I’m not sure what kept the toilet paper from falling out of the holder; but I was sure a new rubber band would be coming soon. But, alas, the rubber band was simply repaired; and now the toilet paper is secure once again!

It was not easy being the Executive Director! No sir, it surely was not! But he was having a good day regardless! So far nobody had made him address any real issues. This new box was great!

His office was located in a building that was decorated in 20th Century Cheap. At one point he had a mouse go into his desk and chew into a bag with three candy bars and eat (only) the TWIX®. He set a mouse trap the next day. Unfortunately the ants showed up to eat all the bait before the mouse could get it. Apparently he wouldn't be able to kill the mouse without killing the ants first...

Go ahead and kill the "cash cow." You've always got Research & Development to fall back on...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBdU9v5nLKQ

"In order to succeed in this company, you will need to see things in a new way..."

Press Release: New Director of THE COMPANY November 07, 2014 PERSON'S NAME, New Director of Business THE COMPANY is proud to announce the addition of PERSON'S NAME as the new Business Director! With PERSON'S NAME's expertise and business sense, noticeable changes should be coming soon!

To save money, air will no longer be supplied at the office . Employees who want air, should bring their own air from home. Telecommuting is not an option; as we need employees at their desks in order to maximize discomfort. Rumors of the restrooms being closed are untrue. We are still discussing whether this is a viable option. Sincerely, Management

Why do they always use the idea from the guy in the middle??? Explanation for "young" people. This was a cartoon and " Chumlee " in the middle was not too bright...

N ow more than ever, A s I reflect on how things are being run, T oday may be just one of many days, I t might be like a hundred others, O ver time we should step back, N ot to pat ourselves on the back, A s much as to recognize, L eadership at its finest. D oing the things that, U ltimately will bring the house down, M aking everything fall apart. B umbling though they may be, F ailing in seeing the big picture, U ndermining logic with personal power, C orrupting the data, K illing the product, E roding the very fabric of the machine, R educing it to garbage slowly but surely. D ecide now to celebrate the incompetence, A nd make this a good day! Y ou may need to leave after that.

“Well I was just warming up my coffee so I’m not sure.” Sigh… “In the past that was all done by someone I didn’t like.” “I think my coffee is a little bit cold again.” “I have some slips to look at.” “I guess I’ll go to the microwave.” “Maybe I’ll walk around and act important.” “I can make noises that sounds like I was working.” Sigh… “I have to make a call.”