I am CuTRis

CuTRis Accidentally Destroys Phone Plans UnAssociated Press April 2, 2013 In a devastating blow to the world of technology, CuTRis has accidentally destroyed the plans for his super-great Smartphone that can do anything! CuTRis said that he was eating an extra giant hamburger with everything on it, when he noticed that the ketchup , grease and "special sauce" began dripping down his face. Quickly, CuTRis reached for a napkin--and inadvertently grabbed the one that his complicated plans for the new Smartphone were scribbled on! Before he knew it, said CuTRis , he had completely covered the napkin with the hamburger slop and destroyed the plans! When asked if he could recreate the design, CuTRis said that he doubted it--as it had been created during a "moment of brilliance" he had while using the bathroom after eating all that pizza in the sinkhole . When asked what he would do now, after the disaster, CuTRis said that the hamburger had made him thirsty and h...

CuTRis Invented Phone that Does Everything UnAssociated Press April 2, 2013 CuTRis emerged from the sinkhole in his backyard this morning looking rested and well-fed. He said that the jam session with EFS went very well and that he had also designed a new kind of Smartphone that can do everything . "Some phones can do a lot of stuff," said CuTRis ; "but this one can do everything ." Phone expert Hiroshi "Alex" G. Bell, of the SuperPhone Institute saw the design when he tried to steal it; and he said it was absolutely brilliant and "should leave all other phones behind as if they were dinosaurs !" Fortunately CuTRis was able to escape with the napkin that he had scribbled the intricate plans on--before his invention could be stolen.

Pizza Delivered to Sinkhole UnAssociated Press April 1, 2013 News this morning of pizza being delivered to the sinkhole in CuTRis' backyard has got people talking. Apparently the three "Everything" pizzas have been attributed to CuTRis himself--while the order for "extra mushrooms" speaks loudly that Dave, (AKA. The Butt) is probably down there too. Because drums can be heard, it is widely thought that Pete is also in the sinkhole, along with Tony--which would explain the funky bass sound emanating from CuTRis' hole... in his backyard. It is now thought that the entire Electric Frog Syrup Band (EFS) has setup a studio within the depths of the sinkhole.

Loud Music Coming from Sinkhole! UnAssociated Press April 1, 2013 There were reports this morning of loud music coming from the sinkhole. It is now thought that CuTRis may be down there jamming with his band, EFS. Sinkhole

CuTRis May Have Fallen into Sinkhole! UnAssociated Press March 30, 2013 It was reported today that CuTRis may have fallen into a sinkhole in his backyard! No further information about whether CuTRis survived was available at the time this story went to print! The CuTRis Sinkhole