I am CuTRis

You didn't get any deer? Next time try my yard.©️ That's right, my yard!©️ Nestled in a neighborhood just 6 miles from downtown St. Paul, my yard©️ offers the finest in hunting opportunities for deer🦌, turkeys 🦃, rabbits 🐇, and squirrels 🐿! Also, if you know the owner of my yard,©️ you might be able to order breakfast without leaving your camp! -Disclaimer- shooting firearms in the city limits is extremely forbidden! Make sure you are prepared to take your quarry the old fashioned way, in hand to hoof combat. -Disclaimer 2- The photo of CuTRis fighting a bull 🐂 is for informational purposes only. Had he been fighting a deer,🦌 he would have been properly licensed by both the Minnesota DNR, and the American Boxing Association. 🥊

This is a parody by Kevin J Curtis. The tune was borrowed from Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs, as it was originally The Ballad of Jed clampett. https://youtu.be/XcVjJ5F_Ahw?si=lE0uUoXsyjLRYXOX

To celebrate Flomptiken this year, https://www.facebook.com/share/p/128gedVx3dL/ Scattergun McCutris has agreed to do a Spenchisbeling demonstration! https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CdVDbjvvZ/! Stay tuned!

Whenever I see one of these specimens while out hiking in the wild, I am always impressed by the vibrant colors!

Vote for CuTRis ! He can turn into a Rhino UnAssociated Press January 23, 2024 The UnAssociated Press has just learned that CuTRis is considering another run for President . Only this time, he claims that he can turn himself into a rhinoceros ! When asked about this outrageous claim, CuTRis spontaneously morphed into a rhino, and galloped away. He was then, subsequently, unavailable for further comment.

It becomes very apparent when you have a kid, that most of what is considered to be comedy, is actually crude sexual humor. Along with the dumbing down of society so that everyone can be included even if they don't try very hard, we seem to have sunk to a lower level of humor that lacks intelligence and cleverness. The true Masters, in my opinion, are people like Red Skelton and Laurel and Hardy. Theirs is timeless, and you can watch it with anyone of any age and no one is offended. For all of the people who are offended by everything today, a lot of their version of humor is offensive and not particularly funny.

https://youtu.be/nP70zBMS0N4

As a volunteer park ranger I used to do a lot of hiking off-trail in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. I would come back dirty, full of wood ticks, cut up, and feeling pretty great. Some people wondered why I like to do that. So I made this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWul44j7X9w

https://youtu.be/77WJZrrzchg

Still the best!

Now you can harden your soft-skills with the teachings of CuTRis ! If your soft-skills aren't hard enough, you need to enroll in CuTRis' soft-skill hardening course today! CuTRis' hard, soft-skills are legendary! And now, for only $29.99, you can attend a private lecture with 900 other candy-asses who need to learn how to tell others the honest, truth—about how annoying and pathetic they really are! Don't miss out! Call 1-800-dumb-ass today to reserve your seat in this life-changing event!

Now at Aldi ! Now you can get Red Green grapes! "If the women don't find you handsome, at least you can buy them some grapes!"

Venez tout le monde! Voir CuTRis au Théâtre de la Grande Comédie vendredi 2 décembre 2016! Les billets sont à 45 EUR de prévente ou 55 EUR à la porte jusqu'à ce qu'ils soient épuisés!

Scattergun McCuTRis Dropping Trou at Airport UnAssociated Press March 7, 2016 Scattergun McCuTRis wrote on Facebook this morning - I had a great weekend! I've been thinking about having "Texans Are Better!" translated into Chinese--to open up a huge market of readers. I met with a Chinese publisher by the name of Henry Trou; who flew in to Houston for the weekend. I picked him up at the airport on Saturday and showed him around and we discussed the project. But now it is time for him to go back home. So I will be dropping Trou at the airport very soon! https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010806725473&fref=ts  

Handshake Seals Deal Scattergun McCuTRis has sealed the deal on his new novel, "Texans Are Better!" Buy your copy at, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01C6AAML8 https://www.createspace.com/5945851 https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010806725473

CuTRis Won't Be On Final Letterman Show UnAssociated Press May 20, 2015 CuTRis will not be on the final David Letterman show tonight as was previously announced. Apparently CuTRis has a scheduling conflict and cannot make it. When asked by reporters, CuTRis said that tonight is bath night for his son and not a good night to be gone to New York City to be on some talk show. The Late Show only commented that CuTRis declined the invitation to appear on David's final show.