Thursday, January 27, 2011

Cutris Achieves Interplanetary Greatness

Cutris Achieves Interplanetary Greatness
UnAssociated Press
January 27, 2011

Cutris has achieved interplanetary greatness according to numerous sources today. Among his recent legendary achievements, is the removal of QT prior to R180 distribution package deployment--insuring a successful outcome.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Shattered Window



This window shattered in the subzero cold last week. I enlarged this section and enhanced the lighting. I think it is pretty awesome. -KJC

Friday, January 21, 2011

-14

It was -14 degrees Fahrenheit (-25.56 Celsius) in the Twin Cities this morning...

Cutris Tells How to Avoid Bad Economy

Cutris Tells How to Avoid Bad Economy
UnAssociated Press
January 21, 2011

"In order to prevent future economic disasters, I have come up with a few rules.

1. "Don't have wars. Seriously, do you think funding a war in Afghanistan and a war in Iraq had anything to do with the USA going so far into debt? This, of course, does not even address the lives lost, people maimed and destruction.

2. "Don't let bankers and lawyers go unmonitored. Business that makes money from other money can deflate in a hurry.

3. "Create incentives for renewable energy. If you invent something to keep us from needing to use oil, you should be well compensated. Creativity is often best motivated by profit.

4. "Create domestic jobs. Jobs in Dubai don't help Americans. Without jobs Americans can't buy things. If that happens, who are you going to sell to?

5. "Create a healthcare system that is not reliant on employers providing coverage. How many jobs would this create??? National healthcare does work in other counties...

6. "Use voting power to remove leaders who put their own or their party interests before the interests of the people, our country and the world.

"I may have missed an item or two, but this is a good, simple list to start with!"

Cutris

-KJC

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Cutris Speaks to the World

Cutris Speaks to the World
UnAssociated Press
January 20, 2011

"While I am proud of being a citizen of the United States of America, our great country has been involved in things and in places that we should not be—often in pursuit of our addiction to oil. Had we stayed on the course that former President Jimmy Carter laid out during the energy crisis at the end of the 1970's, we may be in a much better situation today. Less fossil fuels and more renewable energy are needed for so many reasons; both economic and environmental.

"While economic conditions have continued to decline, governmental bodies preach job creation, while simultaneously cutting government jobs and issuing 'stimulus packages' to artificially 'jump-start' the economy. The economy ruptured as a result of the greed of many people in the banking, real-estate and business sectors. Sending nearly all of our manufacturing business overseas after World War II, left formerly prosperous cities poor and crime ridden.

"Though our immigrant families can tell you that education is the key to a better life, here in the USA deep cuts are destroying our educational system that is already lagging behind many other countries. With these cuts, we are also destroying our country's future and the futures of the children who are growing up in it. The No Child Left Behind laws could be renamed 'every child left behind,' as this and some desegregation, and special education programs have crippled the budgets of mainstream education. It seems that when something works, such as the Social Security program, it is then tapped for funding lots of things it wasn't initially supposed to be used for. Eventually this 'bleeding' of the system degrades or destroys it.

"So far I've talked mainly about my own country, though I could find many faults within other countries such as, human rights violations, terrorist activities, and violence against women and children. There is also forced prostitution, imprisonment, maiming, murder and beheadings—posted on the Internet. Does anyone have a conscience anymore?

"The world is filled with lots of living things and all of them deserve more respect than they are getting. If we can work together for the betterment of all, we will leave a better world for future generations. What kind of a world do you want your children to live in? Should it be one where they might be gunned down or blown up by some religious zealot on a rampage, or one where Christian, Jewish and Muslim children play together and can't imagine a world where they would be taught to hate each other?

"All of us have the power to change this world—one small piece at a time."


Cutris

-KJC

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Cutris Takes Over Nova Scotia

Cutris Takes Over Nova Scotia
UnAssociated Press
January 19, 2011

In rapid succession, Cutris has been taking over various cities, states and countries. Most recently he is reported to have taken over Nova Scotia. Apparently Cutris has also left a message with the United Nations, promising to cease his takeovers if he is allowed to make a statement and "get a few things off of his chest." When and if this occurs, the UnAssociated Press will be the first to bring you the report.

Cutris Has Taken over East Grand Forks

Cutris Has Taken over East Grand Forks
UnAssociated Press
January 19, 2011


Unconfirmed rumors state that Cutris appears to have taken over East Grand Forks, Minnesota this afternoon. No further information is available at this time.

Cutris Plans to Take Over the World

Cutris Plans to Take Over the World
UnAssociated Press
January 19, 2011

Several world leaders expressed their concern today, that Cutris may try to take over the world. Apparently the fear began when Cutris exclaimed that he was fairly "unhappy with the way things are being run!" He also indicated that if he had to, he would "take over" and "make some changes." Furthermore, it is reported that in 1971, Cutris successfully staged an uprising and became supreme ruler of his sandbox. Legends of the event can be found at http:www.thecutrissandboxuprisingof1971.org/. Cutris was unavailable for further comment at the time this story went to print.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What is the Important Notice???

This important notice was posted on the gas pump I used the other day. It was blank! What did it say? I seemed to have pumped my gas without incident though the important notice was blank!

Red

We saw the movie Red yesterday. It has an all star cast; including, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Mary-Louise Parker. For all of its violence, it is a comedy! John Malkovich is one of my favorite actors too.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I'll try to be funny again soon...

I've been working on my latest (3rd) novel. I'm doing all the things that all the agents and publishers said I should do with my previous novel. "We'll" see if it really makes a difference. I'll try to put something funny on this blog soon...

Daily Publish America worthless offer!

Relentlessly pursuing every cent they can get out of their authors...

More

Note* I get my rights back for free later this year when my contract runs out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noreply@publishamerica.com
To: Cutris

Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:03:09 -0500
Subject: Returning your book's rights


Dear author:

Your book He Who Goes First, has shown no sales for longer than a year.

At this time you may want to have your book's publishing rights reverted back to you.

We can arrange that.

Go to www.publishamerica.net/RevertingRights.html and instruct us to return the rights to you. In the Ordering Instructions box, write your name and the title of your book. You will receive the termination documents by mail. There are no strings attached to this termination except the $99 processing fee that covers our administration costs and our de-listing obligations to vendors and/or wholesalers. You must choose a shipping option to activate your rights return instruction.

Thank you for having been a PublishAmerica author, or for sticking around if that's what you prefer!

--PublishAmerica Author Support Team

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Monday, January 10, 2011

More Snow!

This is a constant, light and very slippery snow. It's not so good for driving in.

Politics, Guns and Infighting...

When Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford and others were shot and/or killed in Tucson, Arizona Saturday, little was said about Arizona's lenient gun laws. While guns in general, are way too accessible in the U.S.A. (and being funneled into drug wars in places like Mexico) and "unstable" people can get them in pretty much any state, better control may have prevented Saturday's tragedy.

Also in question is the ridiculously nasty fighting between the two political parties in the United States. While neither of them is fundamentally that different, the members spend enormous time, money and resources battling insignificant details. This has created a meanness that has split our people and pitted Democrats and Republicans against each other.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Cell Phones for Apes

My wife and I decided to recycle our old cell phones through an organization that uses them to benefit the Great Apes. Besides the obvious benefits, there are also less obvious ones--such as reducing the need for mining in the few areas inhabited by several great ape species. It all makes sense to me now!

Originally, I had thought maybe the apes felt left out because they didn't have cell phones; and that made me sad.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Walgreens Unseen Specials

Walgreens frequently has coupons and specials in their newspaper ads. Some of the deals are pretty good--except for one problem. At least half of the time the sale items or specials are not in stock, unavailable, not yet arrived, or not carried by some stores. So I ask, what is the point?

Give it up Publish America!

Cutris replied to support@publishamerica.com
See (below) Publish America's latest shameless attempt to get money from an author!

Trying to squeeze that last nickel out of me huh?
http://cutris.blogspot.com/2010/12/more-with-those-zany-publishamerica_02.html

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: noreply@publishamerica.com
To: Cutris
Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2011 06:02:50 -0500
Subject: Returning your book's rights


Dear author:

Your book He Who Goes First, has shown no sales for longer than a year.

At this time you may want to have your book's publishing rights reverted back to you.

We can arrange that.

Go to www.publishamerica.net/RightsBack.html and instruct us to return the rights to you. In the Ordering Instructions box, write your name and the title of your book. You will receive the termination documents by mail. There are no strings attached to this termination except the $149 processing fee that covers our administration costs and our de-listing obligations to vendors and/or wholesalers. You must choose a shipping option to activate your rights return instruction.

Thank you for having been a PublishAmerica author, or for sticking around if that's what you prefer!

--PublishAmerica Author Support Team

Monday, January 03, 2011

True grit & Black Swan (Brief) Movie Reviews

My wife and I went to see True Grit and Black Swan recently. Personally, I had some difficulty caring a lot about the ballet troop in Black Swan, though the depths that Natalie Portman's character sinks to psychologically are definitely interesting. I really liked True Grit. The characters were very well done. True to what you might expect from the Coen brothers, there is a lot of violence. Neither movie is really "family friendly," as there is both violence and sexual material in Black Swan. For the adults, both movies are worth seeing.