I am CuTRis

Donald Trump Plans to Visit Hell UnAssociated Press May 27, 2025 President Trump is planning to fly his new (old) "Palace in the sky" down to hell for a visit with the dark lord himself. "I've known him for years," said Trump on so-so media, "we agree on most things and his home is a very warm place." Of course Trump had a lot more to say, and much of it was incoherent. But apparently, Mr. Trump would like to warehouse legal immigrants in hell, and also potentially U.S. citizens who disagree with him.

Everybody gets a box of Band-Aids , some rubbing alcohol and two cotton swabs . Don't worry, the cotton swabs are two-sided!

The CuTRis Plan UnAssociated Press March 21, 2013 It has been leaked to the press that CuTRis has created a brilliant plan. Just what the plan entails, or what it is all about is as of yet unknown. One reporter managed to get a peak at the first three words of the plan before CuTRis quickly covered it up. Lars Kracklemeyer, the unnamed reporter, reportedly said in a later report, that judging by the three words the plan was "well thought and gosh darn brilliant!" Skeptics say the plan doesn't exist--but sources close to CuTRis say it may be an attack plan against North Korea. It is now known that Pete was recently released against the communist country. Sources close to Pete say that he became tired and has quit. Some say CuTRis is making more plans at this very moment. When asked by Lars Kracklemeyer, if he would continue making plans, CuTRis said "You can plan on it."