When you first enter Rambo Foods, don't expect a warm "hello." Don't expect a shopping cart. Don't expect aisles of food waiting for you to choose from... you wuss! At Rambo Foods, you will be given a large knife when you enter the store. All that other crap you brought in will be confiscated and you will be pushed through a bamboo doorway into a jungle where you will stalk, hunt and finally kill your food with only your wits, courage and strength! Oh yeah, you can use that big knife too if you want to. Or, you can use the knife to make a fully functional bow and arrow set. You see at Rambo Foods, we don't think you should get to eat unless you earn it! Why you cowering little wuss! If you can't kill your meat, how do you expect to eat? If you can survive the jungle, the poisonous snakes, the quicksand, the wild animals, the hostile natives, land mines and the enemy combatants, you will be allowed to pay for your food and leave. We take cash, checks, Visa, MasterCard or Discover. But don't expect a "thank you." You miserable weakling...
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