I am CuTRis

I like omelets a lot. The key to a good omelet resides in the ingredients, and how well it is cooked. In order to keep your omelet from being runny in the middle, it should be flipped. This is the most crucial step, as doing it improperly can cause the whole thing to crumble –especially if you like to fill the egg batter with lots of vegetables. First make sure your pan is hot (but not too hot!) and primed with a little canola oil. I’ve found that my raw vegetables (for example: onion, pepper, broccoli, mushrooms, tomato, cilantro, *garlic, ginger), added to the eggs (in this case three eggs) and some spices and herbs (for example: Lawry’s , *garlic, Italian herbs, salt, pepper, etc.), cook perfectly along with the frying eggs. The difficulty lies in flipping this “loaded” egg batter. (* Garlic can be added in a dry powder form or fresh, depending on how powerful you want it to be.) The key is in the first flip, before the top has been cooked. This uncooked side can tear during the fli...

Cutris Wears Out Shoes November 24, 2008 UnAssociated Press Cutris has returned home to Minnesota! At a news conference in St. Paul’s east side, Cutris told reporters about his journey home after his trip to the moon aboard his homemade flying saucer, crash-landing and subsequent bouncing to Africa in his protective suit, and then flying a WW2 German airplane, crash-landing in Libya, bouncing into the Atlantic Ocean, rescue by Norwegian fishermen, transfer to Massachusetts, before finally walking nearly 1,500 miles home. “It took me all weekend and part of Monday to make it home.” Said Cutris ; “I traded my protective suit to the owner of Fong’s Chinese Buffet for a meal and a bamboo tube filled with rice for my journey. I jogged through much of Pennsylvania to save time, and took a 5-minute break in Elkhart, Indiana before walking past Chicago, through Wisconsin and back home.” Cutris seemed to be in good spirits and good health, except for a slight scratch that appeared to be mostly...

Cutris Back in the USA November 21, 2008 UnAssociated Press Cutris is back in the U.S.A., according to sources today. He was transferred from the Norwegian fishing vessel that rescued him, to a U.S. Navy Destroyer. Eventually, he hitched a ride with the U.S. Coast Guard to return to the U.S. mainland; somewhere on the coast of Massachusetts. Cutris then apparently started walking west, toward Minnesota. No confirmation of his current whereabouts is known.

Explorer Rescued by Norwegian Fishermen International Bizarre November 20, 2008 International explorer, Cutris , has been found alive by a Norwegian fishing boat in the Atlantic Ocean. Captain Olav Lefse, of the Norsk Stor Båt told reporters yesterday, that his men had pulled up their fishing net, only to discover a man in a big "puffy suit" inside. The man identified himself as Cutris , former U.S. presidential candidate turned explorer. Cutris will stay aboard the Norsk Stor Båt , until it reaches port or he can be transferred to a U.S. ship. Video footage of Cutris

Cutris Whereabouts Unknown November 18, 2008 UnAssociated Press Former presidential candidate-turned-explorer Cutris has apparently made his way by caravan to North Africa, where he found an old WWII German airplane that he "fixed up." Cutris travelled by similar caravan Cutris then (according to the U.S. State Department) flew the airplane until it ran out of fuel. Cutris flies old German airplane It is at this point that Cutris sent this message, picked up by a U.S. satellite, monitoring transmissions from Libya. Transcript: "Mayday, mayday, this is Cutris ! I'm going down. Fortunately I'm still wearing my protective suit!" The Cutris crash site caught at impact by Japanese tourists A group of lost Japanese tourists happened to photograph the crash, and according to Hiroki Mashuita , a man in a "puffy suit" went bouncing away. Cutris was wearing a protective suit like this one Cutris is thought to have bounced to an unknown location. No more is ...

United States Central Intelligence Agency Radio Signal Monitoring Division November 17, 2008 5:19PM EST REPORT: RE: Intercepted Cutris Radio Transmission #2 ... The inhabitants have tried to make me out to be some sort of deity. I've tried my best to tell them that such an idea is cliché, and I cannot assume such a role. Their response was violent in nature, and I indicated that this too was a cliché, and I asked them where the "restroom" was. I was shown to a small hut, where I relieved myself in the blankets, as these poor people must do. When I left the hut, someone else was entering -probably for the same purpose. I heard angry shouts as I walked away, and I was eventually led to another hut with a radio. It appears that perhaps it was pulled off of an aircraft. I now get the feeling that these people would like me to leave here and find my way home... (Static) TRANSMISSION ENDS

United States Central Intelligence Agency Radio Signal Monitoring Division November 14, 2008 2:57AM EST REPORT: RE: Audio Transmission from African Congo thought to be Curtis … I was saved by my protective suit during the crash-landing… … My flying saucer is likely a complete loss. How I survived is both a miracle, and a tribute to the fine protective suit I was wearing… … I assume by the people, animals and plant life, that I am somewhere in West Africa. I have sustained a tiny scratch to my right index finger as a result of the crash. I am otherwise in good health and reasonably good spirits. I am hoping that there are pizzas here. I've always said that if I were a wildman living in the forest, pizza would be my natural food. I'm also hoping to find some beer. I drank my last Leinenkugel's on the flight back to Earth. I'm hoping to make my way on foot to some sort of civilization. I need to find a way back to Minnesota. My wife is probably wondering where I am… (Stati...

Cutris Crashes Back to Earth! November 14, 2008 UnAssociated Press With no pizza or beer to be found on the moon, Cutris apparently decided to make a hasty return to Earth. According to NASA officials, his craft crash-landed in the desert of southern New Mexico. Cutris' flying saucer shown crash landing Though no word has come from Cutris since the disastrous looking landing, he apparently was wearing a revolutionary protective suit, that may have caused him to bounce as much as 16,000 kilometers from the reentry site. Hope remains, that Cutris has survived this tragic event. Photo showing a protective suit like the one Cutris may have been wearing

Cutris Lands on the Moon November 13, 2008 UnAssociated Press NASA released a statement this morning, that Cutris "may have" landed on the moon. Meanwhile, CNN is circulating pictures and a transcribed version of an alleged interview with the former candidate, now turned space explorer. The Moon from the Cutris' flying saucer CNN: What do you see yourself accomplishing on your moon trip? CUTRIS: I'm going to find out if the moon is really made of cheese. CNN: Do you have any preliminary results? CUTRIS: Yes, this moon dirt tastes awful! I'm going to look for a pizza place! Cutris shown searching the moon for pizza.

Cutris sends Photos back to Earth November 12, 2008 UnAssociated Press NASA has received confirmation that Cutris has been orbiting Earth for the last two days. He has "beamed" the following pictures back to Earth. The first photo shows Cutris at the controls of his new flying saucer. The second photo is a lovely view of the planet Earth from Cutris' flying saucer's window. Cutris has apparently told NASA officials that he plans to "stop by the moon" next, as long as his "beer and pizza holds out."

Cutris Appears to have Left the Earth! November 11, 2008 Unassociated Press NASA officials have indicated that a presumed UFO, was actually Cutris leaving the Earth in his homemade flying saucer. The presumed UFO was being chased by two F-16 Fighters, when the pilots reported that it appeared that the occupant of the saucer may have "mooned" them, before leaving the Earth's atmosphere.

Cutris Finds Flying Saucer November 10, 2008 UnAssociated Press Former presidential candidate Cutris is back in the news this week. It seems he has found a tiny, (perhaps ancient) flying saucer embedded in a tree. Inside sources say that Cutris has been working in his basement to create a full size model, that will take him back into space . More news is expected this week about this exciting project.

Just in case your Johnson is out-of-control... But make sure to keep the controls locked up behind a fence. You don't want just anyone controlling your Johnson.

In all seriousness, a great thing has happened in the United States, and it should not be mishandled. To tout it as a “Black Victory” is completely undermining the true spirit of this achievement. The United States of America has perhaps matured to a point where it is no longer simply an old, rich, Caucasian who can be President. This not only reflects the changes in our collective attitudes, but also the changes in our population demographics. This victory belongs to all of us. The fact that an African-American has been voted to the top job in government can serve to unite us all, if it isn’t overly emphasized as a black victory. Barack Obama himself is biracial after all, and that too is symbolic of this victory that belongs to all of America. Barack Obama would not have won the presidency if he didn’t have the votes of other races. In fact, the accusations that I heard prior to the election, that white voters would publicly support Obama, and then go into the privacy of the voting b...

Cutris shown immediately after finding out that Florida found a hidden box of ballots under some old rags in a janitor's closet and then finding out that he had not won the 2008 Presidential Election.

Cutris shown immediately after finding out he won the 2008 Presidential Election.

Early voting results show Cutris with a strong lead against McCain and Obama. Polling places are overrun with write-in votes!

Tomorrow is the big day! It's time to vote for the one candidate who didn't run a negative campaign. Cutris didn't have to tell you how horrible the other candidates are, you already know that. Cutris didn't call your cell phone or put pamphlets in your door. It's time to show your appreciation. Cutris will work on the national debt, to avoid China running their flag up the White House pole by default after they own us. Cutris will focus on alternative energy. Cutris will run the terrorists out of town with a big stick! Remember to write Cutris on your ballet. Cutris is the real choice for middle America.

We saw these guys play Saturday night. It was a really good show! Six String Playground .

What a beautiful day for a hike between Long Meadow Lake and the Minnesota River...

The Hmong were U.S. allies in the "secret war in Laos." Since the U.S. left Vietnam in 1975, the Communist government has tried to brutally eliminate them. http://www.rebeccasommer.org/documentaries/Hmong/ http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/article/2008/03/27/interview-latehomecomer-kao-kalia-yang.html http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?r=1&ISBN=9781566892087&ourl=The%2DLatehomecomer%2FKao%2DKalia%2DYang

He's Patriotic! He's really Patriotic! And he's a Straight-Shooter! Vote for Cutris, he's patriotic, really patriotic and he's a straight-shooter! Paid for by the Cutris for President Campaign.

Presidential candidate Cutris was seen jumping across a "really big" waterfall, according to second grader and political historian Jeremy Wiggins. "It was really cool!" said Wiggins, "He jumped right across like he was a kangaroo or something! Vote for Cutris . He can jump across a waterfall like he's a kangaroo or something.

We took a drive at the end of last week through Bluff Country, along the Mississippi River in southern Minnesota. The first photo is of Lake Pepin at Lake City. The second photo is from the Garvin Heights (Park) overlook in Winona. The last photo is of a Bald Eagle named Columbia, who lives at the National Eagle Center in Wabasha. Of course this is only a glimpse of what we saw.

I’ve decided to sell my road construction equipment. I mean it really didn’t make much sense to keep it with diesel fuel costing so much. Our garden is too little for them too. They were a lot of fun though…

Do you think my car will really know that the BP gas I put in it has "invigorate?"

Foggy Morning as I drive down the dark road The dark night sky is shrouded by cool vapor My car glides through obscured landscapes of dark shapes The streetlights' glow appears like running showers I think of a hike in the river valley The white mist hid the wilderness from my sight The deer charged past, but I could not see their flight My clothing grew damp as I walked through the clouds Now I drive to work and remember that day Responsibility takes me from the woods If only I had known of today back then I would have lived a little harder that day -Kevin J. Curtis-

More Scandal for the Cutris Campaign October 6, 2008 UnAssociated Press With only a month left before the election, Cutris is once again, caught in a scandal . Will he ever learn? Will the voters care? We'll find out on election day!

I knew those diggers and dozers were mine! They're still parked in front of our house! My wife must have bought them for me for my birthday! Just wait until my nephew Austin comes over, we'll have a blast! But he has to drive the small one, because the big one is mine!

We've had construction on our street all summer, but when this heavy equipment was parked in front of our house overnight , I figured my wife must have bought me this stuff for my birthday! She just can't tell me yet (until my birthday)! I took this picture with my new toys when nobody was looking...

Cutris Thought to be on Dangerous Diet September 25, 2008 UnAssociated Press Once again, presidential candidate Cutris is involved in a scandal . It seems that a recent photo shows an extremely thin Cutris . "He's almost 'stick thin!'" one reporter said. When questioned, Cutris admitted he had lost some weight, due to a combination of diet and exercise.

President George W. Bush spoke last night about a bailout of Wallstreet. It seems that when the really rich get in financial trouble, it affects everyone. So, all the rest of us have to pay more taxes to bail them out. Don't try this at home though, because no one will come to your rescue. It's quite a socialist concept to have the government intervene in an otherwise capitalist market.

LIVE HERE? Really? Would I really want to do that??? It is actually "marina approved," so there would be no problem keeping my canoe there. Still, I can't quite get over the fact that the building looks like it might need a few repairs. 10.7 acres though... although riverfront has got to be expensive...

Six of us went peddling all over St. Paul (and Minneapolis and assorted suburbs) on Saturday. It was about 30 miles or so through some nice trails along the Mississippi River. The first photo shows our riding party, and the last is a telephoto shot of downtown -which we rode right through just before the first photo was taken. The second picture was taken from the Mendota Bridge, and the third is of the Ford Dam.

We’ve all heard of food scares with such things as salmonella or toxic chemicals entering the food supply. Recently I had a scare with peanut butter. It didn’t make me sick, but it scared the crap out of me! After buying some “natural” peanut butter, I opened the jar and had some and it was quite good. Later that night though while I slept, I was woken up to a strange sound. It was a moaning sound and I got out of bed to investigate. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen, so I turned on the light. Several times, I turned on the light and it would go off by itself! Finally, I noticed the moaning sound was coming from my new jar of peanut butter! When I looked closely at the label, I realized I had grabbed the wrong jar by mistake! I threw the jar outside in the garbage and the strange phenomena stopped. Be careful to read the labels closely when you buy food products (see photo)!

If you are now "the man" of your family because you are married and have kids, don't try to pretend the bad message and bad feelings you bring aren't from you. You chose to hold onto those things. If your family has held onto customs for over 1,000 years but they are wrong, don't pretend that you have to keep doing the same thing yourself. You can change the system if you are strong, or keep doing the same things if you are a coward. Don't blame your problems on your ancestors (or someone else's ancestors) because someone in your family was a slave over a century ago. Read your history. There have been slaves throughout the sordid history of mankind. If you are free, why do you choose to hold onto that unfortunate past? If your parents mistreated you, I'm sorry about that. But if you are an adult, pull yourself up and make the best of your life. Also make darn sure you don't mistreat your own children. Perceptions change over the years, and sometim...

After proving ineffective in game one against the Packers, coach Brad Childress continued to play Tarvaris Jackson as the Minnesota Vikings starting quarterback. After he proved ineffective against the Colts, Childress kept doing the same thing (like he always does). Could owner Zygi Wilf have made an impression? I think maybe so, as Gus Frerotte will be starting against the Panthers on Sunday. In fact, coach Childress says Frerotte will start the rest of the season! Shouldn't the coach be a bit more flexible and take it a game at a time? Maybe try some new plays too...

People who weren't born in Minnesota, or who despise cold weather, like to bash the state for being so cold. Truthfully, it does get cold, but there can be a significant difference between northern and southern Minnesota on any given day. We do have cold and snow, but we are really good at dealing with it. We get up and go to work in weather that would paralyze many other states. Personally, I don't like really hot, sticky weather. We do have some of that in Minnesota, but not a lot of it. We have no hurricanes, though we do have a few tornadoes. Thinking about Minnesota weather, I couldn't help but notice that while hurricanes and floods are devastating parts of the U.S., Minnesota is enjoying near perfect conditions with cool nights and 70's and low 80's Fahrenheit daytime temperatures.

The Latest straw poll conducted by CNBC has placed Cutris ahead of both Barack Obama and John McCain in the 2008 presidential election. The latest figures show Cutris with a commanding 406%, with Barack Obama at 37% and John McCain at 36%.

Cutris Finds Lost City of Atlantis September 15, 2008 UnAssociated Press Recent reports suggest that Cutris has found the legendary "Lost City of Atantis." When questioned where he found it, Cutris acknowledged that he indeed had located the lost city, beneath a fairly large rock in his back yard. "I was doing some gardening," said Cutris , "and when I moved that big rock out of the way, there it was! Scientists are rushing to verify the find, though Cutris is not allowing them into his yard "because there is new sod," and he doesn't want "half the world tramping all over it."

Seven years ago I was working for county social services when I heard about the Twin Towers of the World trade Center being hit by airplanes. It was an awful day. Later, I was met with an unusual silence, as I was living near the airport and nothing was flying except F-16's that kept me awake with their faint erie sound as they patrolled at high altitude. A year later I spent the first anniversary with the American Indians at Camp Coldwater. Today I remember...

OPEC just voted to cut oil production by about 520,000 barrels per day. In other news, OPEC sucks! When I get to be President, the USA will seriously try to "kick the foreign oil habit." Then you can try to sell your sand.

As human beings, we are perhaps more concerned with our own finality than most other creatures that live on land or in the waters of the planet Earth. I am quite sure that other animals have a concept of death too, especially apes, whales and elephants. Still, I doubt that these animals have philosophized about death in the way that Homo sapiens have. As humans, we know death well. We kill other animals for food, and are well aware of the fact that there are predators and prey in the world. We recognize that death can come peacefully, though most often there is some amount of pain associated with it. Perhaps this is what scares us the most. Death is a final event that is feared by both man and beast. One will go to great lengths to avoid it. Yet sometimes, a person will end his own life in suicide. What a desperate and depressed state such a person would have to be in, to fight the natural feelings of avoiding death. Throughout history though, cases of humans and animals simply giving ...

When I buy a box of flavored oatmeal, why do they put "regular flavor" in it? What is "regular flavor?" It isn't a flavor! I had to eat one this morning to get rid of it. I used honey to make it "honey flavored."

After last night's speech by John McCain's choice for running-mate, Sarah Palin, the media is filled with excerpts from her speech. Personally, I didn't find her very likable. Furthermore, one woman (Hillary Clinton) isn't interchangeable for another (Sarah Palin). I know McCain is after the former Hillary Clinton supporters. Sarah Palin, I never heard of you a few days ago. Now that I have, McCain looks worse than ever.

Cutris Holds Political Convention UnAssociated Press September 3, 2008 Cutris held his own political convention yesterday in an undisclosed location that only he knew about. "It was very exclusive!" said one CNN correspondent. "I understand it was nearly impossible to get an invitation." It seems that the Cutris Party , formally endorsed Cutris as their/his presidential nominee, with a vice-presidential candidate to be named later.

I support your right to protest. I also drive by the Excel Energy Center in St. Paul (almost) daily. If you don't live in Minnesota, you are welcome to come and visit. Just don't come to my city to break windows and throw poop at police officers.

I can't get into any details of my work, since businesses are touchy about blogs and such. Suffice to say, the remodel is unfinished and I cannot work today. So, I am getting things done like stocking up on supplies and hopefully a bike ride. Yesterday I had an early training and was released for the afternoon. I went hiking in the Wilkie unit of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. I was dressed in denim and headed into the unchecked, late summer growth. At first I was noticing all the smells, flowers, birds, butterflies and such -thinking about how much I love getting out into the woods. Soon, I was fighting my way through a tangle of stinging nettles, branches and brush, thinking that I was an idiot to be doing this! As always, I ended up with a lot of burrs in my clothes, some great photographs and a sense of satisfaction. I filled out my ranger report and went home to have dinner with my wife before band practice. Life is going to get busier for awhile, and that mean...

How ironic that since I never liked going to school, I now work at one. That means (like the kids) I am about to go back. I regret the summer ending, though I am optimistic for a good year.

While many of us have been glued to the television, watching the Olympic Games, many lesser known events are never televised. One of these is the Gorock Stick Challenge. This event receives little attention, and is actually seldom used in modern society. Cutris happens to be a Gorock Stick Master, and has beaten the Chinese challenger, Iwin Now , to capture the Gold for the U.S. in yesterday’s obscure events series .

Last night at band practice, we were wondering what to record next. By the time we were done, a new song was finished, and only about two hours old. It all started when I began playing a two-chord progression, walking up and down the individual notes. I threw in a “tribal” sort of vocal thing. My band is exceptional at improvisation, and we were already setup to record. We did everything in one take, and it sounds good. I think the inspiration was from the simplicity of the music that I heard at the Hmong market on Sunday. Not being a Hmong speaker, it sounded like a simple chant. That same type of simplicity is the basis of the song “Tribal,” except that we used a combination of instruments, techniques, and vocals and piled them with digital multi tracking. The final product sounds much more American Indian, and in fact, (in my head) I could see painted warriors and painted ponies running (slow motion) into battle while we recorded. The multi tracking allowed the three of us to build ...

My latest email, This is the SECOND time this rebate has been approved, then declined. I am VERY upset with Sprint. I was promised this rebate when I purchased a new phone for my wife and my plan DOUBLED in cost. Send this rebate immediately, or I will pursue a complaint through my state's attorney general. Furthermore, I will cancel my contract. SEND THE REBATE YOU PROMISED ME AND QUIT PLAYING GAMES!

An interesting video on the news yesterday shows Paris Hilton talking about the two (U.S.) 2008 presidential candidates. Paris lays out a rather sensible energy plan, which seems to put both McCain and Obama to shame. Of course, being Paris Hilton, she ruins it by continuing to talk and say that she is ready to be the next president and that she will paint the White House pink. There is actually a presidential site for her at paris4prez.com . I recall a time when Minnesotans were fed up with politics and politicians. We voted Jesse Ventura into the governor’s mansion, where his son held wild parties while his parents were elsewhere. Ventura was interesting, and made sense in the debates. It soon became clear, however, that he was a giant wuss who blamed the media for all of his self induced problems. Like Paris Hilton, Jesse Ventura was created by the media. Paris was born into a rich family and that is her claim to fame. Ventura was a “pro wrestler” which gained him notoriety. Neithe...

Are you scared by the huge national debt? Do you distrust the politicians who made the decisions that created this astronomical deficit? Then why vote for their candidates? Cutris is financially responsible. In this picture, Cutris can be seen putting a quarter into his piggy bank. He was saving it for a rainy day. It just so happens that it rained the very next day and Cutris broke open the piggy bank and spent the quarter, but I think this misses the point. Cutris saved the quarter in the first place! When he needed it, he took it out of the bank. He didn’t need to finance the twenty-five cents, he already had it! Vote Cutris for President in November, he’s financially responsible! Paid for by the Cutris for President Campaign.