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President Trump Talks about Coronavirus

President Donald Trump attempted to take control of the coronavirus situation last evening with a prime-time speech.

"You know I was really surprised to find out that the Chinese invented Coronavirus! I said to the vice president, do you see? They beat us again! But be that as it may, we are doing many great things with Coronavirus many many great things. I can't tell you all of them, some are good some are bad most are good, but we're doing many many things. Certainly, we will be able to invent the next big virus right here in this country. In the meantime, we are banning travel to and from Europe, and also all of the shit-hole countries."

The president also attempted to reassure the country by saying the United States is "more prepared" to fight the pandemic than any other nation. "The virus will not have a chance against us," he said.
In light of the President's history of distorting the truth, many people heard this as, "We're all going to die!"

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