News Headlines You'll Never See

For your enjoyment, Cutris has compiled a brief list of news headlines that you are probably never going to see.

1. Young Urban Males Decide to Wear Pants that Fit

2. Man Admits, That as a Child He Molested Priests

3. Hero Cat Saves the Day!

4. Paris Hilton Graduates

5. Cheney Admits Guilt

6. Government Center Condemned to make Room for New Lake

7. Woman to Lead Taliban

8. Phone Company Pays Customers to End Contract Early

9. Al Sharpton Makes Sense

10. Vikings Win Super Bowl!

Comments

Hormel is Dumb: No More Little Sizzlers

We appreciate your interest in LITTLE SIZZLERS® Sausage. Unfortunately, this item has been discontinued. We value our loyal consumers and apologize for any disappointment our decision has caused. Please visit www.hormel.com for coupons, promotions and recipes using many of our other products.

Trump's Reckless Rhetoric

Even though Trump and MAGA think that using the number 8647 is a threat to the President of the United States, Trump just yesterday, said that it would be okay if Iran used nuclear weapons against Los Angeles and San Diego--which including the cities and surrounding areas, is something equivalent to about 15 million United States citizens.

Crossing the Mexican Border

There could be an argument for crossing the Mexican border. I mean, seriously, Mexico has nationalized healthcare. The USA can't do it, because billionaires wouldn't be able to get rich enough off of other people's misery.

I am CuTRis

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