Cutris Complains about Squirrel Feeding

Cutris Complains about Squirrel Feeding
UnAssociated Press
May 29, 2009

Cutris issued this statement today regarding the feeding of space squirrels by neighbors on the Food Planet.

The neighbors here are turning the space squirrels into "little beggars." They refer to them as "wildlife," but clearly these nuisance animals are not wild and tend to feed out of bird feeders and garbage cans as well as numerous handouts from "do-gooders." It is this feeding that has allowed the population to get so out-of-control. I'm left with one alternative. Then, I will return to Earth--since I miss my wife and have been away too long. My project to grow zero calorie vegetables in zero gravity to produce unique cuisine has failed.

Space Neighbors

Remedy for overpopulation of Space Squirrels

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