I am CuTRis

On our way to Lanesboro we stopped in Zumbrota for lunch and shopped at Alco while rained poured down. We had a nice room reserved at the Guest Hus Motel in Lanesboro--which was a really good value compared to the other available accommodations. We shopped, went to the museum and then had dinner at Pedal Pushers . Then we visited the dam (Root River) and walked through Sylvan Park . Day 2 we shopped walked the trail and had lunch (outside) at Riverside on the Root . We went to the Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center before returning home. Lanesboro is all about biking   Dam! Nice Trails  Shopping Root River

I was walking with Larry earlier and I noticed some wild Black Raspberries . I quickly grabbed a few and ate them. Larry said, "they're full of antioxidants." Well this totally freaked me out! I went running away screaming! I ran to the hospital as fast as I could! I ran 17 miles to get there even though the hospital was only 4 miles away... I guess I got lost. Well by the time I finally got to the hospital, it was becoming fairly evident that the antioxidants weren't going to kill me! In fact, when I told the hospital people why I was there, they started laughing! They said that antioxidants are good! Who knew???

"It's up the hill and then you climb that big tree. Then after you get to the top, take a number..."

These paper wasps were busy making a home on my shed .

Hug your babies! The two-year-old boy lost in Wisconsin was found dead. This is so sad!

Click picture to enlarge: Click back to go back.

"6:10 AM and it was already hot. The humidity was so humid that it made you standup and take notice of the humidness--even if you were sitting down at the time. Yes, it was hot..."

CuTRis Seen with Jedi Master UnAssociated Press July 17, 2013  CuTRis and Yoda CuTRis appeared in this photo today with Jedi Master and mentor, Yoda . When asked about the sighting, CuTRis said, "Friends we are from long before."

Apparently there is some concern for the safety of Aaron Schaffhausen; who killed his three young daughters --when he goes to prison. I'm not concerned about him. If the other prisoners don't like what he did, I don't like it either.

CuTRis is Probably a Jedi Knight UnAssociated Press July 16, 2013  CuTRis Jedi Knight This photo of CuTRis shows that he is probably a Jedi Knight . This would explain the light saber as well as his tendency to use the Force . 

I think I called this one pretty well right after it happened. Two people who collided--either of them could have behaved differently and changed the outcome. Again--if someone wants to make this into a racial thing, I would caution them to remember that O.J. Simpson was also acquitted of murder when many thought he was responsible.

  My son liked the petting zoo and the Black Raspberry icecream at the Ramsey County Fair .

My son was supposed to be the ring man at my nephew's wedding on Saturday. My little boy is a year and a half old; so he is a bit young for this--but he was great! In fact, he walked up between the two flower girls holding hands with them and he did a good job. There was, however, no exit strategy--so when the girls released him he bolted for the door saying, "mom." I had helped to "launch" him on this journey down the church aisle and so I went back toward the door to intercept him. He wasn't there and then someone pointed toward my wife's section of the church. When I got back to where she was sitting, my boy was standing on the church pew smiling at me as I walked up.

Russians Mad: Thing Falls on Moscow UnAssociated Press July 12, 2013 The Russians are mad at CuTRis and want their rubles back after the... thing they bought from CuTRis earlier today fell on Moscow and broke it. CuTRis was in his garage drinking beer and was unable to comment.

CuTRis Sells His Thing to the Russians UnAssociated Press July 12, 2013 - 11:59 AM CDT CuTRis has just announced the he has sold his giant... thing to the Russians . Apparently they came and picked it up twenty minutes ago in an old Kamaz truck . CuTRis reportedly got 654 Rubles for the sale. CuTRis was pretty excited about all the money until someone told him that it was only $20 in U.S. Dollars. After a moment, CuTRis announced that he was going to go buy some beer .

American Civil Liberties Union protects CuTRis' Thing UnAssociated Press July 12, 2013 The American Civil Liberties Union has embraced CuTRis' ... thing , and has declared that the city keep its "hands off" of CuTRis' ... thing; or the ACLU will sue the pants off of the city! The city commented that the city does not wear pants and they will go after CuTRis' ... thing if it is not removed by Noon today!

 CuTRis and Thing CuTRis Appears with His Thing UnAssociated Press July 12, 2013 Standing in front of his... thing this morning, CuTRis told reporters that he already has big plans in store for his... thing, and he will release the news later this morning.

City Talks About CuTRis' Thing UnAssociated Press July 12, 2013 City Administrator Dick Head, had this to say in an early morning press conference about CuTRis' ... thing that he has constructed in his backyard. "Without a doubt the... 'thing' that CuTRis has is simply huge. It has blocked out the sun and touched off a storm of insinuations and rumors. The city has mandated that CuTRis downsize his... 'thing' by Noon today. That is all."

Sheik Farts: Gas Prices Go Up UnAssociated Press July 12, 2013 Sheik Petro al-Muhammad farted overnight, sending gas prices upward this morning. Hopefully the sheik can get control of his gas problem before we all have to pay out the @$$ for a gallon of gas.

Thing CuTRis Builds Thing UnAssociated Press July 11, 2013 In another of a whole string of scandals , CuTRis has apparently built a 700,000,000 foot (213,360,000.00 meter) tall... thing in his backyard. The city is threatening legal action as it exceeds the maximum height allowed of 50 feet. Furthermore CuTRis apparently did not pull a permit from the city before building it. When asked about his... thing , CuTRis said, "I really don't like to talk about my... 'thing.' I don't think it is really anyone's business. Sure it may shade the sun from an entire city block--but what about people who play loud music at all hours of the night? That is disruptive! My... 'thing,' is just out there. It's not hurting anything--it just exists. Stop looking at my thing!" So far neither CuTRis nor the city are backing down. The city demands that CuTRis' get rid of his... thing by Noon tomorrow or he will face persecution .

I came across this little toad today while taking a walk.

  With July temperatures in the 90's (F), this sign seems a bit out of context. In fact, if there was actually ice falling off of it right now, people would be backing trucks up to it to get some.

My 2008 Ford Fusion is back in for a $750 fix on the continually defective rear brakes . I stopped buying GM because of known defects that were not fixed and now I am getting the same with Ford . So maybe I need to stop buying American made cars? 7/10/2013 Update: A Ford representative just contacted me regarding my comments to corporate. She informed me that she can not do anything to help me with this issue.

Independence Day

  "K2 K2 OPEN HERE K2 K2... COME IN K2 ARE YOU READING?" "GRILLED BURGERS BELOW. PLEASE PROCEED TO CHECKPOINT 'CHEESE.'" "K2 K2 OPEN HERE K2 K2... COME IN K2 ARE YOU READING?" "ROGER THAT, GRILLMASTER ONE. PROCEEDING TO DROP ZONE." "10-4 K2..."

Here is what Minnehaha Falls looked like on Friday 6/28/2013.

My son had fun at the Minnesota Air National Guard Museum on Saturday...

I decided to walk up to Target because the rain stopped and the sun was out. In fact, it felt like the sun was burning my neck on the walk to the store. I wasn't gone too long but I bought two bags of stuff and a dust mop and it was raining when I left the store. It's probably about six blocks away, but by the time I got back it was raining pretty hard and I was wet.

Click to enlarge--click "back" to go back!

Dwight Johnson is an average man out shopping with his family. But when someone points a gun at his baby’s head, dormant instinctive responses emerge that turn this suburban husband and father into a force that is anything but average. Two alternate endings follow Dwight’s son into two different futures—one dominated by guns and violence and the other in a more peaceful way of life. Whichever side of the gun debate you find yourself on, this story will leave you with something to think about. http://www.amazon.com/Kevin-J.-Curtis/e/B004SBGR7W/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

CuTRis Test Drives Compact Cube UnAssociated Press June 25, 2013 CuTRis is no stranger to driving around in a Borg Cube . But he was recently seen test driving the new compact model . Though previous versions of the Borg Cube held thousands of occupants, the Borg found while traveling into the future , that future fuel prices are so high--that they have had to scale back the size of the cubes in order to stay within budget ! CuTRis reported that he did not like the tiny cubes. He said that he might go for a mid-size cube; but not likely the compact model.  CuTRis Test Drives Compact Borg Cube  

Paula Deen may have demonstrated some racial biases and is not likely the only one who has ever done so. Those of us with children generally teach them that if you make a mistake, your should own up to it, apologize, learn from it and move on. Paula Deen has admitted her mistake and apologized. Yet for some people in America that is not good enough and only her total ruin will satisfy their dangerous hatred. If your child lives around these people, the lesson would be to deny your wrong doing, hide it at all cost, and continue lying to preserve yourself. This is a very sad thing and it reminds me of the horrible mentality of about half of the people I worked with at the county years ago. I think we can do better. I think our children deserve better too.

Edward Snowden believes he is exposing U.S. government secrets to enhance our personal freedoms. He is young and if he grows older he may realize someday that his view is not as wide as he once believed it to be. In our world of terrorists we need to sacrifice a few freedoms to avoid devastating attacks. The government needs to do a better job of screening who holds our secrets. Snowden is in reality, a traitor running from his own government and could be executed as such. This is a sad story for all involved.

Goodbye to local author Vince Flynn . I don't know if there are writers in the afterlife--but writers are storytellers and I'm sure there are stories to tell everywhere.

If you read this blog, you might remember that my former coworker Carl likes bananas . Since the server is down and I can't do any real work, I decided to make this video for Carl. He actually drew the original picture of himself--which I used for my production.

Dwight Johnson is an average man out shopping with his family. But when someone points a gun at his baby’s head, dormant instinctive responses emerge that turn this suburban husband and father into a force that is anything but average. Two alternate endings follow Dwight’s son into two different futures—one dominated by guns and violence and the other in a more peaceful way of life. Whichever side of the gun debate you find yourself on, this story will leave you with something to think about. Click here for "Bloody Average" Click here for Paperback

A list of short-lived businesses/organizations Islamic Pork Products Vatican Condoms Burka Modeling Agency Amish Technologies Ethiopian Defense Industry Addiction Pharmaceuticals National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP) Ex-Con Security Company Drunken Wife-Beater Counseling NRA Daycare International Smuggling Vacations Toxic Cosmetics Deadly Encounters Dating Service Conservation Lumber Big Ripoff Plumbing & Heating Nuclear Pest Control Kwalidy Publeshing Cumpany

Like many children who grew up during my era, the Looney Tunes characters were instrumental in my development. So even now I revert back to the classic lines of my animated heroes. One of these comes up frequently when I am chasing after my son to brush his teeth, change his diaper or whatever the current situation needs. My son thinks it is enormous fun to run away and he laughs and soon I find myself quoting Sylvester the Cat when he would say, "Runnin' away won't save ya!"

Ah yes... the " Roseville Tates ..." 

CuTRis Finds End of the Line UnAssociated Press June 18, 2013  CuTRis has literally found the end of the line . After finding it, CuTRis decided to go home.

Recipe for these pork spare ribs: Preparation: Rub canola oil on ribs to retain moisture and add eight different (shake) herbs and spices. (Everything is cooked on charcoal grill.) First, cook potatoes and zucchini in foil. Then roast corn in husk after soaking in water. Next cook skinless chicken legs to brown. Then as storm begins to blow and rain comes down, put slab of ribs on grill. Start dinner with family as storm grows in intensity. Then after ten minutes or so, go outside in the rain and quickly flip ribs and close grill and run back inside to minimize being soaked by rain. After ten or fifteen minutes go out and retrieve ribs--again being sure to get rained on. Bring ribs to house--go back into the rain and get wet securing grill. Run back into house and enjoy ribs and other grilled food as the wind subsides and sun begins to shine.    

My son has a set of these cars (he calls cars "Beep beep" from his mom and grandparents referring to them that way). As soon as his mom gave him these particular cars, he started calling them " owl !" He knows the names of lots of animals from his books (he loves to have us read to him). At first my wife wasn't sure why he called them owls. I looked at the big lights and said, "I think it is because of their big eyes."

My second Father's Day as a dad.

I heard that the tongue is one of the strongest muscles in our body. I was skeptical, but just the same I started lifting weights with my tongue in case it was true. All of that work has paid off! Yesterday a house fell on me as I was walking down the sidewalk--but I quickly used my tongue to push it off. Those tongue exercises probably saved my life! It's all pretty amazing if you think about it...

After seeing some "No Shoulder Driving" signs, I decided to try it for myself. It is pretty hard to drive with your shoulder--so I can understand why it isn't recommended.

Mr. Mischief In the last week or so, my son has stepped up his mischief level by quite a bit. He seems to be testing his mom and me at every moment. He will go from one "no no" thing to the next and frequently looks me right in the eye as he does it. It is all very funny to him, and trying to get it through to him that he is being naughty is not easy! I raise my voice and look him in the eye--and then he smiles and goes to the next thing he has been told not to do 100 times before. I guess this is part of his development and becoming so mobile. We have to watch him constantly or he is climbing furniture, pulling at electrical cords or reaching for the stove knobs. His language skills are increasing as rapidly as the mischief; and when he is removed from something he shouldn't be into, he will shake his head and say, "No no. Uh uh!" Basic activities like dressing him can sometimes be a wrestling match because he doesn't want to stay still. He was watering...

CuTRis Leaks Justice Dept. Phone Spying UnAssociated Press June 10, 2013 Regarding the U.S. Department of Justice 's spying on phone records in the name of national security, CuTRis leaked this statement to the press. "I'm OK with it."

I received this warning from my US Fish & Wildlife Service Contacts--as I am a volunteer ranger. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

Government Phone Records Benefits Baseball Investigation UnAssociated Press June 7, 2013 As phone records are being sought as evidence in a Major League Baseball drug investigation , it was not determined how those records would be obtained--until the agency in the U.S. Government collecting phone records, said, "Here you go! We have them!"

What would one say, if two people, were staring at a three-dimensional object for four minutes--on the Fifth of June, on Sixth Avenue, in the Seventh District at eight minutes after Nine-O’clock--while trying to be the tenth caller to a radio station trying to give away eleven tickets to a concert on the evening of the 12th--which happened to be the thirteenth contest they had entered in the last fourteen months?

What was it made with before? This might be "more truthful"

Last Saturday evening we attended a wedding at the Radisson Blu at the Mall of America . My son who is a year and a half old, was also invited and while the hotel was very nice, we found no where, not even in the fancy bathrooms, was there a place to change a baby's diaper! My baby boy liked the big windows and the view and at one point while he was playing in one he decided to drop his spoon (we brought a spoon that is for baby's --which he insisted on carrying with him) into an air vent below the window. My wife brought me over to see "if I could get it." "Armed" with a butter knife, I looked down the vent and saw the spoon some two feet below. There was no hope of retrieving it. So now this posh hotel that isn't very "baby friendly," has a baby spoon inside of it... forever. Or at least until someone opens up that vent to clean it.

I grilled this over charcoal yesterday.

This just in...  

Asteroid to Pass by Earth UnAssociated Press May 31, 2013 Not to worry, asteroids rarely crash into and destroy the Earth. Last time the Earth was destroyed, was this past Tuesday in an amature Youtube video created by an anti-social, overweight North Korean kid who had nothing better to do except pretend to blow up the world.

CuTRis Returns from Alternate Universe UnAssociated Press May 31, 2013 Cutris has returned from his vacation in an alternate universe with apparently no ill effects.

CuTRis Reportedly Vacationing in Alternate Universe UnAssociated Press May 30, 2013 The lack of news about CuTRis this week--along with this picture that was found on a space alien 's cell phone clearly shows that CuTRis is (probably) in an alternate universe .

Turkeys at Richardson Nature Center

I'm jammin' with the band!

An Idea Hatches! Deep inside of CuTRis' brain , an idea was beginning to hatch ...

My condolences to those hit by the tornado in Oklahoma . Also yesterday a horrible accident during a St. Louis Park school field trip killed one student, injured two and left one missing. It's going to be a tough summer for some of these kids. I remember at age 13 when my best friend died three days after school was out for the summer. I don't think I smiled for a whole year.

Super Coke Deal I heard a rumor that this convenience store/gas station was recently purchased by a drug cartel ... but I don't know that I believe it...

Mail theft has hit my neighborhood!

I started a social media site for a neighborhood watch. It's encouraging that I have some responses this morning! If we band together we can put criminals on notice!

This Scarlet Tanager  decided to hangout in our front yard yesterday afternoon!

To the person or people who stole the wooden bench in front of our house--Whatever you do/did with it, I know you will sit/have sat on it at least once. I hope your butt is cursed from that moment of contact. I hope it itches, then bleeds, then develops into some kind of terminal illness that crawls out of your butt and spreads all over your entire body.

Then something happened... Mr. Brown can moo and he saw one fish two fish. He can sound like a hand on a door knock knock! Rabbit's plane flew right through the door and over miss Lizzy's garden! Three buzzing bees chased Pooh to the zoo where Elmo likes the elephant whose trunk swings left and right. Some are long and some are strong! A Jed is in bed and the bed of a Jed is the softest of beds, it is said. He makes it with pom poms he grows on his head. I can be quiet when daddy asks me to. He asked the kitten, but the kitten just looked and looked. You're not my mother! You are a scary snort! Good dog Sparky! ................................................................................................ ...................... ..........................error.........error..........reset.................$#^&%.*.......... ...........bing...hmmm......zip....zip....... welcome!.............login please..................

Today, I saw two of these little turtles heading to water after just hatching. I gave them a little help getting there. Yes, that's a USA Quarter

Since the trend is to tax cigarettes and alcohol to support the failing government budget --especially here in Minnesota, I would like to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who smokes and drinks. We couldn't do it without you!

CuTRis Wins American Idol! UnAssociated Press May 17, 2013 Apparently CuTRis won the title of " American Idol ," until he told the producers to "piss off!" Then the title was stripped from him and given to someone who had actually been on the show.

Not only was I was unaware that  lions are apparently roaming around in Central Park, I was also unaware that they had built a shelter there!

In the realm of big oil crooks, they have now seen fit to artificially raise gas prices by shutting down two refineries at the same time --for "maintenance."

My mom still buys me Oreo s on occasion. I think it is because when I was a small child, I concocted a story for her that I needed to have Oreos to keep my eyes (color) brown. I think mom must have liked that story--or maybe she noticed my eyes are turning more green as I get older.

When you refuse to change your actions, even when it is harming those who you love, what does that say about you? If out of tradition and convenience, you jeopardize someone else's health what does it tell you about your traditions? If you believe the way to handle hard situations is by "killing the messenger," how will you ever be happy?

One Day Only! Don't Miss It! Summer is Today!

Then click here.

CuTRis Voted Off Island UnAssociated Press May 12, 2013 Though CuTRis does not even watch the TV show, Survivor , he was apparently voted off the show. "I've never been on that island , and there are few things I could care less about than that show," said CuTRis , "But it really hurts to talk about it right now--after all I never went through. No doubt had I actually been on the island, with nothing but those weird people, that giant TV crew, and that food truck to rely on for survival, it would have been much worse." We at the UnAssociated Press understand how you feel CuTRis . Out of all of the bad things that could happen, this has got to be one of the least of them.

One of the saddest things in day-to-day life is seeing roadkill . One minute whatever it was, is bounding happily across the Interstate , and the next minute it is smashed! Sometimes you can tell what it used to be, and sometimes it gets hit again and the species is no longer distinguishable. So, though I don't normally take pictures of roadkill, I came across this the other day. It was sad. A dead sock most likely... or perhaps a long lost mitten. It doesn't matter much at this point. Decayed, lifeless and laying on the roadway waiting to rot or be removed. One minute the sock was enjoying its life, and then suddenly it was without a foot. No one knows what happened to its mate. Just the crash and death--and all that remains are the remains. At least the sock is no longer in pain. .. stuck there in the last position of death. I turn my head and walk on. Dead Sock

Are you sick of "pansies" on TV telling you how to "get rid of unwanted hair ?" Well I know I am! That's why I use Yes-Yes to add hair to my back, ears and other hard to reach places! Yes-Yes uses a patented revolutionary system that looks like a tiny (reverse) lawn mower--that digs little holes and plants course, thick, luxurious hair all over your body! No more pansy-assed smooth look for me! Get Yes-Yes today!

Well said Bill. I know a lot of people were upset to hear the truth. California Indian Education Version From American Rhetoric--Speech to NAACP

I see this fairly often when I go shopping for food--that some of it is past the expiration date and still for sale. Recently for convenience sake I stopped at a Holiday Station Store to get milk for our baby. The gallon of milk priced at $4.59 was three days past the expiration date. So I told someone at the front counter as I walked out and drove to Aldi , where a fresh gallon of milk cost me $2.69. I sent an email yesterday to Holiday Customer Service who referred me twice until some guy who said he is the district manager said he stopped over there the next day and the milk was dated May 20 (not May 2) and it was hard to read as it wasn't printed very well. He also said there was nothing written on the markdown sheet for when they dispose of old product. Actually, it sounds pretty plausible--but I don't really believe it. I check dates on food every time I go shopping. If somehow it is true, then somebody better fix the zero printer!

Of course! Why didn't I think of it? Err... wait a minute... I did think of it! I'll finish my latest (mini) novel by creating two alternate endings! That way the reader can decide which version of the future he/she would rather live in!

My son enjoyed the Minnesota Science Museum on Saturday. He really liked the miniature tornado exhibit.

SUV in Compact Parking Are Suv 's considered to be compact car s now??? Maybe the driver is dumb or more likely feels entitled to the space.

May 3rd... snow accumulating on the grass...

CuTRis Escapes From Giant Spider UnAssociated Press May 3, 2013 CuTRis has told a remarkable tale this morning about his daring escape from a giant spider! This transcript is of CuTRis' story as he told it to reporters.      "I knew the beast was ready to eat me as it came up behind me as if it were smelling a yummy hotdish ! That's when I remembered how Bugs Bunny got away when he told that bull to "stop steamin' up" his tail ! I yelled at the giant arachnid and punched it in the mandibles. Then I grabbed onto it's mouth parts and twisted until I pulled a piece loose! The spider ran away and I took the piece of mandible and went home." CuTRis Holds Mandible Piece  

CuTRis Kidnapped by Giant Arachnid UnAssociated Press May 3, 2013 Apparently CuTRis was abducted by a giant arachnid yesterday. CuTRis is thought to be in a cave in an undisclosed location, like in the Mountains of Brazil ; but that isn't known for sure--but it is where he probably is. CuTRis is thought to be fine, but likely to have his "juices" sucked out of him leaving only his exoskeleton . CuTRis has been in many dangerous situations before, but whether he can survive this time is doubtful at best. Photo by UnAssociated Press

My wife and I have been married for five years as of today.

CuTRis Grabbed By Giant Insect UnAssociated Press May 2, 2013 CuTRis (in photo) was apparently grabbed by a large insect this morning. The giant mandibles are clearly visible in this photo which just happened to be taken an instant before the gruesome scene occurred. No further information about CuTRis or the giant insect were available at the time this story was printed.

Yesterday after we walked in the woods for a short time, Larry found a Wood Tick ! That's not uncommon in May in Minnesota--except that it was snowing/sleeting at the time! Well this morning, after showering and putting on clean clothes, I found a Wood Tick on the bathroom floor! They must be young ones because they are small. I suppose the "new crop" just emerged when temperatures were warm a few days ago.

We're getting snow.

Sometimes life gets all flakey.