I am CuTRis

CuTRis Wins Dry T-Shirt Contest! UnAssociated Press March 29, 2013 CuTRis was back in the news today after he apparently won an international Dry T-Shirt Contest ! No photos or further information was available at the time of this printing.

Click picture to enlarge and click "back" to go back! I've heard of companies offering premiums to get you to buy their goods--but this seems a little "over-the-top" to me! They are assuming a lot to think I would want someone over there to mount me, at no additional charge--just to get a deal on tires! It is pretty presumptuous in my opinion.

I've been taking care of my sick baby. I'll be back soon.

The CuTRis Plan UnAssociated Press March 21, 2013 It has been leaked to the press that CuTRis has created a brilliant plan. Just what the plan entails, or what it is all about is as of yet unknown. One reporter managed to get a peak at the first three words of the plan before CuTRis quickly covered it up. Lars Kracklemeyer, the unnamed reporter, reportedly said in a later report, that judging by the three words the plan was "well thought and gosh darn brilliant!" Skeptics say the plan doesn't exist--but sources close to CuTRis say it may be an attack plan against North Korea. It is now known that Pete was recently released against the communist country. Sources close to Pete say that he became tired and has quit. Some say CuTRis is making more plans at this very moment. When asked by Lars Kracklemeyer, if he would continue making plans, CuTRis said "You can plan on it."

North Korea Hacks Internet UnAssociated Press March 20, 2013 Government sanctioned Internet hackers in North Korea, apparently hacked into South Korean financial computers while accidentally surfing for porn. The Internet is only allowed at Kim Jong-un 's house, and he was so happy about the porn that he gave the three unknown hackers immunity from future sentencing to labor camps .

The freeway was a traffic nightmare this morning as I took my baby son to his grandma's house. Babies are wonderful things though. While he had protested earlier from the back seat in his carseat, he had fallen asleep before I got off the freeway and navigated an alternate route to our destination.

Don't let the two feet of snow fool you; today is the first day of Spring!

When someone repeatedly reverts to doing things behind your back , how can you continue to trust that person?

Click HERE to see the latest photo on Pete's mission to North Korea.

If it is true that nothing is certain except death and taxes , the weekend was about both. We had a funeral to attend Saturday and also a tax appointment. Taxes can be more complicated when you sell and buy property. My wife also attended the funeral Sunday evening, as it was an all weekend event. This morning we are welcoming the week and a snowstorm.

CuTRis To Be Next Batman UnAssociated Press March 15, 2013 Reports from the Entertainment world suggest that CuTRis will be the next Batman in the upcoming movie, "Dude Who Wears a Cape and Beats-up Bad Guys." Some sources say that producers originally wanted to cast Will Smith in the role, until it was pointed out that even though that may have worked with The Wild Wild West , it would likely create a scandal if the new Dark Knight were to become an African-American. The producers then approached Jackie Chan to switch to an Asian super-hero. Eventually, it was decided that the new sequel should not become just another bad Karate movie. CuTRis was finally thought to be the best choice because not only does he know all the words to the Batman theme song , he also agreed to star in the new movie for $100.

Click on photo to see Carl's tattooed banana Since I first began taunting Carl with overripe bananas, he's been getting more and more creative with his fruit.

CuTRis is Expertise Expert UnAssociated Press March 14, 2013 Today CuTRis has been deemed the World's Foremost Expert of Expertise , by the College of Academic Greatness .

One third, one quarter--whatever it takes...   My friend Larry was asking if this school has math degrees?

Kevin & Dave Might Release Pete on North Korea UnAssociated Press March 13, 2013 Pete Can Taste Victory Recent reports indicate that Kevin and Dave are considering releasing Pete on North Korea . Under the "leadership" of Kimberly Un-Jong , the Communist country has really been "pissing us off," according to Dave. "We don't take releasing Pete on anyone lightly," said Kevin, "The devastation unleashed is just too horrible." Pete was not available for comment, but was reportedly doing no-handed push-ups in preparation.

I just read the caring bridge site for Mason and it sounds like there was a scare after his surgery. He wasn't able to breathe. They found a clot preventing him from exhaling and now he is doing fine!

I'm still here my little friend. We all look forward to the day when you can swallow without difficulty.

Dear Mason , Today I will be thinking about you. Today I will be hoping for you. Today I will be praying for you. Today you will be in my thoughts. Uncle Kevin

If someone was a Prefect , but didn't know what he/she was doing, would that person be an ImPrefect?

Five years ago it started with a dowry , which was actually a bride price --which I refused to participate in. Selling your daughter for money like she is livestock is among the most despicable things I've ever encountered. You can tell me it is this or that or to prove love, blah blah blah, but if you come riding up on a pig and tell me it is a horse, I will still see a pig. The latest episode is about a funeral. In my culture, a funeral is generally three days after death and the service takes about one hour. My in-laws are Hmong , and a relative has passed away about a month ago. His funeral is starting Friday--runs 24-hours per day and continues until the burial on Monday. To complicate it more, though the Hmong bring their children to everything , our baby son is not supposed to attend because of bad spirits, lack of facilities, over crowding, etc. I however, am supposed to be there and my parents services have been secured to watch our baby on the fourth day. So I lay a...

Vulcan Nerve Pinch So if Mr. Spock can't sleep because of a clash between his Human culture and his Vulcan culture, can he just give himself the Vulcan nerve pinch and go to sleep? It would be so much better than staying awake all night.

North Korea to Attack Monday UnAssociated Press March 8, 2013 Obviously "well-nourished" North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un has announced that he intends to attack South Korea and the USA on Monday. Apparently he also says that he has a magic wand that is in "the shop" for repairs, and it won't be ready until then.

CuTRis may Replace Behar on View UnAssociated Press March 8, 2013 It has been reported that ABC executives have been in contact with CuTRis to join their daytime talktalktalk show, The View . CuTRis has a varied resume'--including being Pope for five minutes yesterday. When asked about it, CuTRis said, "Yeah they asked me because they said they think the show needs something . I told them I would rather get stepped on by a Water Buffalo .

CuTRis Resigns as Pope! UnAssociated Press March 7, 2013 Apparently CuTRis has already resigned as Pope --marking only the second time that a Pope has resigned this month!

Plaid Smoke from Sistine Chapel UnAssociated Press March 7, 2013 Plaid colored smoke coming from the Sistine Chapel this morning seems to indicate that CuTRis has been elected as the new Pope! This is the first time an American has been elected to the office. Apparently CuTRis has already taken the Popemobile for a spin!

I work hard to eliminate "Dumb" from educational data. "Dumb" is resilient, however, and it returns almost as soon as you finish. It got me thinking. I used to work for county government, I've observed city government and I have in the past, worked with federal government contractors. There is no shortage of "Dumb" in any of these entities. "Dumb" also has friends, named "waste" and "Redundancy." If we could get rid of "Dumb" and all of its friends, we could probably balance the budget.

Hwy 36

Rodman Denies being in Love with Kim Jong-un UnAssociated Press March 5, 2013 Dennis Rodman is denying allegations that he is in love with North Korean madman, Kim Jong-un. He said he does, however, love the guy. Rodman made the comments today while wearing his new dress.

Dennis Rodman & Kim Jong-Un May Be in Love UnAssociated Press March 4, 2013   This photo seems to corroborate the story that the real reason that Dennis Rodman visited North Korea is because he and crazed-inbred leader, Kim Jong-Un are in love.

North Korea Hosts Ugliest Man Competition UnAssociated Press March 4, 2013 North Korea recently hosted the Ugliest Man on Earth competition , causing speculation that the reclusive country may begin to start acting "more normal."  Finalists for Ugliest Man on Earth Competition

Catch Celebrity Dumbass weeknights at 9:00 PM on Fox! Watch "washed up" celebrities act like "they are somebody" and also act really dumb! It's fun to watch people act dumb--especially if we know who they are! No, seriously... it's not a waste of valuable time! Watch tonight! Please? We can't think of any good shows, so please watch this crap. Thanks!

Popeye to be Blown Down UnAssociated Press March 1, 2013 Shut up! It's not what you think!

I'm wrapping up a business trip and when we all went out to eat last evening, the bill included a forced gratuity of 18%. First off, a gratuity is supposed to be an extra freely given for satisfactory or exceptional service. It has, however, become a way for certain businesses to get their customers to (at least partially) pay their employees. I believe the word gratuity is perhaps no longer appropriate. Maybe it should be called, Your portion of our employees wages .

Chinese Government is in Your Butt UnAssociated Press February 26, 2013 Hackers within the Chinese government have apparently hacked into a secret United States government database that contains the exact circumference of everyone in America's butt. The implications are not fully known at this time, but one high ranking U.S. official said "the situation stinks and it is not likely to get any better." The Chinese government has denied looking up our butts.

The continuing saga of a polarized, two-party system, whose members enjoy bickering back-and-forth more than they do about the welfare of the country and the equally polarized people who live in it. This film has been rated "P" for pathetic and contains scenes of graphic stupidity and pig-headed-ness.

CuTRis Wins Oscar UnAssociated Press February 25, 2013 CuTRis won an Oscar last night for his realiastic portrayal of a man who doesn't care about the Oscars, and who doesn't much care for award shows in general--in "The Life of CuTris" . CuTRis was unavailable for comment and did not pickup his little statue .

... are something I don't care about...

CuTRis To Become Leftenant: Gets Special Music UnAssociated Press February 22, 2013 Rumors that CuTRis is taking a job as a First Leftenant in the 2nd Dragoons has appeared for the third time in the last four minutes. Apparently CuTRis is also expected to begin arriving and departing with Special Music , just like the wrestlers of fake wrestling do. CuTRis has apparently secured the services of a Mariachi Band to follow him around and provide the music whenever he arrives or departs from a room, place or event.

That British Petroleum (BP) PSA where the Operations Manager talks about how great the gulf is after the BP oil spill makes me sick! So I made my own PSA ( click here to view )!

Owl Pellet Owl Eating Dave Story Might be a Hoax UnAssociated Press February 21, 2013 Sources have revealed today, that the shocking story of Dave being devoured whole by a Great Horned Owl and coming out as an “owl pellet,” may have been a hoax. After dissecting the owl pellet , Dave was not found inside. When he learned of the hoax, CuTRis said, “Huh… I assumed it was true since I always told Dave that an owl was going to grab his head if’n he kept wearing that hat!”

CuTRis To “Lock Horns” with Great Horned UnAssociated Press February 21, 2013 Today CuTRis announced that he plans to kick the ass of the owl who ate Dave and stole his rabbit hat. The owl was unavailable for comment—but was last seen driving Dave’s truck.

CuTRis & Owl Comment on Eating of Dave UnAssociated Press February 20, 2013 Today CuTRis condemned the actions of the owl who ate Dave. The owl also spoke out, and has claimed Dave’s property as his own. This angered CuTRis , who apparently threatened to kick the owl’s ass. “No one messes with an owl,” said CuTRis , “but I have been provoked!” The owl reportedly screamed at CuTRis , who flipped the owl "the bird" in retaliation.

This is my friend Dave . He always liked to wear that rabbit hat. Then one day, an owl ate him.

A few news stories I've seen about the "riot" at Minneapolis, South High cited "racial tensions" as the cause. If the parties at odds are Somali and African-American, isn't that like calling a dispute between a Swede and a Norwegian racial?

cuTRis in his natural habitat.

This morning I saw five cars go through one red light at an intersection. This is totally understandable though--since instead of leaving early or getting up earlier, it is much better to risk killing or maiming others because you are in a hurry.

I dreamed I had a motorized Trike last night. You know... one of those 3-wheeled motorcycles. Now I want one for some reason...

Due to the absolute ridiculous garbage that was coming through as "comments," I have unfortunately (once again) limited it to those who register and have an identity. I had hoped that anonymous comments could open "the door" to more conversation, but I've simply allowed someone who likely doesn't have a job, a wife or a girlfriend (my observation is based on the comments being between Midnight and 4:00AM)--to pretend to know what he's talking about. Or perhaps it is an equally pathetic female... as I don't know because the person is only known as "Anonymous."

I need to make a living somehow by being in the woods.

The nasty virus that my baby has been fighting got to my wife and then me. Saturday I slept half the day.

My little boy is still recovering from a nasty virus.

I know a guy who thinks feeding all of the babies/kids with one spoon is good--because it makes their immune systems strong. His family is originally from S.E. Asia--which has a high occurrence of Hepatitis B incidents within the population. I've decided that the next time the issue comes up (and it will if I see him using one spoon to feed multiple kids), I'm going to tell him that he should lick the toilets in public restrooms--because certainly, that would be very good for strengthening his immune system. Bottom-line: People from other countries might be able to tolerate less hygienic conditions than we can in the USA--but people generally don't live as long in those countries.

Everything is frosted with new snow...

I am not an Atheist. I am not affiliated with any "name brand" religion. But I do believe that there is something larger than myself at work in the universe. If you are very religious, the biggest difference between us is that someone has told you what to believe. I have made my own choice.

The International Olympic Committee has announced that Wrestling will be replaced by Angry Birds in the next Olympic Games . Other changes being considered are, Discus to be replaced by tadpole catching, High Jump replaced by Rock-Hammer-Scissors, 100-Meter-Dash replaced by TV Channel Changing, and finally, Boxing to be replaced by Tiddlywinks .

What kind of idiot(s) would remove wrestling from the Olympics ??? It is one of the oldest sports and should be revered in such a forum.

The guy who empties our garbage at the office hates all things liberal and democratic and is a right-wing Republican. He started telling us "liberals" yesterday that the US was giving Egypt "our best, newest fighter planes." I replied that no way was the USA giving Egypt the F-22 Raptors . I said "they're probably F-16 's. We give everybody F-16's." He didn't think so--but three computer clicks verified that the fighter planes are F-16 Fighting Falcons (designed in 1976). To each his own, and I don't think we should be buying weapons for oil tycoons in the middle east, but please... if you are going to spout out so-called facts, at least try to know what you are talking about.

Yesterday on the evening news, while the breaking news was about the former LA police officer wanted for murder--being cornered in the conclusion of a lengthy manhunt, the local news was about some piece-of-crap guy from Oakdale, MN who shot some people he didn't know and killed a nine-year-old boy. Do we need gun control in America? You tell me.

More issues with Allied/Maplewood Garbage Contract. I also found that Allied Waste in Minnesota is owned by Republic Services . My letter to Allied Waste and the Maplewood City Council (and a few media sources). Update 2/15/2013: Jim from Allied contacted me by phone Tuesday, after my letter was emailed. We agreed to talk later in the day. He called me back on schedule and told me that a search of the Inver Grove Heights office did not turn up my check. We agreed that he would clear the charges from my account anyway--because of the continued problems; and that I would pay the new (current) charges. This is a satisfactory resolution. It only took three days, three phonecalls and an email to get it to actually happen. --KJC Background: We moved to Maplewood in August and continued with our previous waste removal company until informed of the Maplewood trash contract. My wife contacted Allied to set us up and was referred to the City of Maplewood. My wife gave our information...

Our baby boy was having so much trouble breathing over the weekend we took him to the ER. He was admitted to Children's Hospital with some undefined virus. After a day and night (which seemed like forever) he was discharged from "the land of sick babies." I'm glad to say, our little boy is getting better. When I think of all he had to endure over the weekend it makes me want to cry.

I didn't get out there yesterday, but I saw the owl again today. That's three days this week!

If something is "unnerving" can something else be "nerving?"

EFS - Don't Call Me Other People is one of a series of cable TV shows that Dave Robinson and I did with our band EFS (The Electric Frog Syrup Band) circa. 1993. Click on the blue title to watch the show. See more episodes on the links to the right!

We keep getting mail sent to us that belongs to the previous owner of our house. We have written "Not at this address: Please Forward" on it and it keeps coming back. In some cases, it comes again with an included "Or Current Resident" --and if we open it (being the current residents) we find that it is business for the previous occupant that should not have anything to do with us . So we cross out the "Current Resident" part and try to send it back. Then, in a day or two it returns again. So, I have decided that I will keep putting it back in the mailbox that I walk past every day. I will do this for as long as I continue to live if necessary. I want to see if the carrier, if not the U.S. Postal Service , will continue this game "forever"...

I think it's the same (Great Horned) owl . It was close to the same place as yesterday.

Me and Larry saw this owl on our lunchtime walk today.

I was just reading some commentary about Alicia Keyes ' version of the USA National Anthem at Super Bowl 47. Now the Star Spangled Banner is not the easiest song to sing and many people have botched it up pretty badly. I actually think Alicia did pretty good; but when she forgot to end it at the end... and kept doing the oooh ahh la la stuff, it was pretty anticlimactic when she finally stopped. That said, wasn't that the musical theme of the evening? "Someone" decided that only African-American, female, hip-hop singers would be performing that night; i.e. Alicia Keyes, Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Hudson. Perhaps some critics have a point that the professional singers have proven to "overdo" our national anthem and that amatures should take over. However... isn't America supposed to embrace differences and promote individuality?

We've been getting an inch or so of snow everyday for several days...

Super Bowl 47 made me remember my brief time living out east--in Providence, RI. Growing up in the Midwest, I never thought much about organized crime--except in the movies. I realized when I was in Rhode Island, however, that the politicians, the municipal services, and such things were inefficient and questionable. The politicians often were indicted and sent to prison--only to be voted back in when they served their time. So when the Baltimore Ravens were destroying the San Francisco 49er's in a Super Bowl that had Las Vegas odds-makers clearly favoring San Francisco to win, I had to wonder if the little "mishap" with the power going off was a bit of manipulation by the Mafia. That is if one believes that organized crime has any influence on gambling.

My nephew Mason kind of "steals the show" in this promo for Be the Match!

If a scallion was into Rap "music," would that make it a rapscallion ? I hope this onion doesn't "go bad..."

This morning in the Twin Cities the temperature is -13 degrees Fahrenheit and still dropping. I wonder what the Woodchuck will tell us tomorrow?

I wanted to top off my gas tank on the car this morning since we're going back in the "deep-freeze." I was holding the pump handle and watching the readout and thinking it should stop since I didn't need that much gas--when suddenly gas started shooting out because the pump wouldn't stop! Now I "get to" smell like gasoline...

My coworker Carl sits on the other side of this window. Carl is extremely fond of over-ripe bananas; so I was taunting him with this one. The post-it notes resulted...

At 3:57 PM yesterday I got news that will change my life.

Since Garbage Haulers and the Mob Have Long History , I found it interesting that Frank Nitti 's last name appears on this dumpster right here in the Twin Cities .

Yesterday I inadvertently deleted a bunch of data from a co'op when deleting records from one of the members. This created a headache and extra time at work. My boss says it's a good lesson in my job. To me, it is something that keeps me away from my wife and son--which is never a good thing. This morning we have ice. Ice on the roads, ice in the parking lots and ice on the sidewalks. I like snow better.

This sign about butts was at Target.

Dave from my band, EFS, put video to a song (we recorded) that I wrote a long time ago. Yes, that's me singing... CLICK HERE to see and hear, Superfly Dragonfly

Here is the sound of snow at the current temperature of -11 degrees Fahrenheit.

Currently the Twin Cities is at -10 degrees Fahrenheit (-23.33 Celsius). The prediction is -17 before we gradually warm up to a high of 0 degrees. Yesterday the high was -2.

Made with 'White Chicken' huh?

We're at -9 degrees Fahrenheit and predicted to go to -10 and then stay below zero all day. Tomorrow morning is supposed to be -14.

It was finally determined today, that the reason the militant Islamic terrorists took Westerners as hostages in Algeria , was because 'someone' called them "a big stupid doo-doo head."

  Did you ever notice the voices for those "tough truck" commercials? I guess if you drive a "tough truck" you have to have a low voice with a built-in sneer ...

I have a large used appliance that I replaced. It still works; but it is old and for some reason in this state, in this country, we have to pay money to do the right thing and recycle. Just for the heck-of-it, I put it on Craig's list and sure enough in about two minutes some guy wanted it for scrap metal! Unfortunately, the guy wanted it immediately, so I had to drop what I was doing and drive home to move it out in the driveway so he could get it. Fine, I lost half an hour and a gallon of gas to save $30 and a trip to the dump. Unfortunately (again), the thing was still in the driveway when I got home! I'll call the guy "Norby," because I think there might be some special circumstances . Norby doesn't drive in traffic, so he won't go out during rush hour. His previous 'project' took extra time so he wasn't going to be able to come until later. Then Norby called back and said his mom was mad at him and wouldn't let him use the van!" ...

Our on-again-off-again bass player, Tony, likes a song I wrote when I was about 13, called, "Glider Bird." Last night we attempted to record it. We haven't recorded for awhile and I remember now that it is 'work.' I generally don't care to play the same song twice in a night of jamming; and with recording, you only play one song all night.

How exciting! Any U.S. soldier who was deployed in a recent overseas war now has even more to look forward to when he or she returns home to the states: a job in retail at Walmart!

My little boy started walking over the weekend!

I have this dream that someday I might be able to make a living by hiking in the woods and writing.

The other day because either the forwarding ran out or because the post office neglected to forward, a letter addressed to the previous owner of our house arrived at our address--with the trash company return address. It got me wondering--since we haven't received a bill and others on our block seemed to know the altered schedule over the holidays... Apparently even though my wife set things up with the city (who bids the trash contract) and the trash company, that information was never used and the trash company was adding late charges while simultaneously receiving the bills back "undeliverable." Things would go more easily if everything didn't have to be done twice...

Funny... I'm 'making' the same amount I was making in 2012, but I'm getting less money...

...in a " one dad open sleigh..."

Soderlin Plumbing & Heating Rainbow Foods Sears Jeff Budzisz, Realtor St. Paul Plumbing & Heating AmeriSpec Allied Waste Arden Hills Tire & Service Center TCF Bank

no...

Click here to view video

Periodically I review a business that I've had dealings with; sometimes it is positive, but often it is not. With the Internet, companies should be careful how they treat their customers--as word can get out. I've found that many companies will try to "make things right" if you contact the right person. Before I write a negative review, I always give the company the opportunity to "make it right," and so avoid being shown in a negative light in my blog. Some will do so, and some will not. I was pricing water heaters on Monday. Ours is old and needs to be replaced. Roto-Rooter came over and gave a free estimate of $1253.74. I've priced water heaters and they run around $400. I thanked the technician and said I would let him know. I saw an ad in the phone book for Soderlin Plumbing and Heating . I was attracted to the ad because it said they had flat rate pricing. Anyone who has done business with one of these contractors may know that the price ...