I am CuTRis

Presidential Candidate Cutris, "weighs in" on Terrorists... "Terrorists piss me off!" Vote for Cutris (aka Kevin J. Curtis) in 2008. Terrorists piss him off!

There are few things that I could possibly care less about than who the next American Idol is; even though I did meet Ryan Seahorse... http://cutris.blogspot.com/2006/04/cutris-meets-ryan-seacrest.html

Yesterday there was a story on KARE 11, http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=254861 about the fluctuating gas prices in the Twin Cities. They found that other areas where Superamerica wasn't the dominant provider, there was much less price changing. My blog addressed this issue in March of 2006. http://cutris.blogspot.com/2006/03/variable-gas-prices.html Superamerica never got back to me when I asked about their prices going up and down so frequently. I was promised an answer when I asked the question on their website. I guess maybe after 14 months, I shouldn't expect much. Here's their website in case you want to ask. http://www.speedway.com/ This is why I choose to avoid Superamerica whenever possible. We don't need companies playing games with us.

http://www.twincities.com/ci_5911166

While working at the school, I’ve noticed an ironic and disturbing trend. The minority students that get in trouble (and put into detention where I work), frequently blame racism as the reason they get into trouble. This removes the responsibility from themselves for their own bad behavior, and puts that responsibility on society (or more accurately, Caucasians). I find it ironic that most of these same students have absolutely no desire to learn or do well in school. In fact, their primary goal seems to be to disturb class to make sure that no one can learn. The irony here, is that all of the great civil rights leaders (like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.), preached education as the means to rise above oppression. A separate bit of irony is that in the suburbs where this school is located, the kids do not have to have any gang affiliations in order to survive. Yet, that is what they want and pursue above all else.

I killed a centipede this morning. I killed it with extreme prejudice. Out of all the cool bugs and things, for some reason I can't stand centipedes. Maybe it's how fast they are, or how if you only smack half of it, the other half might run away. Or, maybe it's because they are so gross -especially when the legs move after you kill it. How come you never see them outside? I wouldn't mind them then. I only see them inside for some reason.

Just a day before Kentucky Derby 133, I am once again, reminded of the emphasis put on sports, and how academics has somehow slipped to a lower status. We can see this in the way that professional athletes are treated, the huge paychecks they receive, and how they are called “heroes,” though they are not actually doing anything more than playing a game –even though they may do it very well. Those who achieve academic excellence may get some recognition and good paying jobs, but few are those who will reach the status or wealth of a good pro athlete. This trend has extended into the animal kingdom. The prize money and status of horseracing’s winners, is huge. A Triple-Crown winner becomes a historical icon. These Thoroughbreds receive the best food, training, and a lot of drugs. In this way, it is much the same as it is with human beings in professional sports. But what about the academic standouts in the equine world? I once saw a horse that could answer math problems by stamping the ...

Cutris Solves (all but seven of) the Entire List of Problems Dealing with the Mysteries of Life May 3, 2007 UnAssociated Press Inside sources have reported that Cutris took time out from his busy schedule, to work on the entire list of problems dealing with the mysteries of life. He allegedly found the list on the Internet and printed it out before beginning the project. After working on it for several hours, Cutris was able to make sense of the entire list, except for seven items. “Those last seven are pretty hard,” Cutris was quoted as saying. “I can try again in a few weeks. Maybe some of those ‘brainy’ types should have a go at it. Right now, they just don’t seem to make a lot of sense.” Scientists are now trying to verify Cutris’ findings, and they say that he has contributed greatly to the overall database of scientific knowledge by figuring out all but those odd seven mysteries on the list. Whether or not Cutris will be able to solve the last seven mysteries is, in itself, a mys...

My school (where I work) just went into lockdown. We're safe, but things are really wild... This was put out... Public Info On 4-20-07 a staff member from XXXXXX Junior High School found an unspent cartridge in a hallway within the school. We immediately “locked-down” the school and notified the XXXXX Police Department. Police officials are assisting staff members with a search of the premises. At this time, no one is allowed to come or leave the school to ensure the safety of students and staff members. Please leave your phone # and we can update you when more information is available.. Thanks for your call

April 20, 2007 Cycle 1, Blue Planet Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting This is my fourth visit to the Blue Planet. I have not, in my three previous visits seen any remoflactions of intelligent life. It has been an entire solar cycle since I have been here. My initial reaction was one of disbelief. The bipedal beings are still using bio-toxins to power everything from their quad-rolling transports, to the increasing or decreasing of the temperature in their dwellings. They also continue to be preoccupied with holding radio transmitters to their auditory canals and communicating endlessly about Patussi-knows-what, in a loud manner. I have chosen to explore the warmer half of the planet. There were plenty of brain cell damaging beverages when I arrived at an outdoor gathering. The event I materialized into, featured several beings using amplified noise making devices and screaming into vocal amplifiers. They did this in a rhythmical pattern and it seemed to be appreciated by those wh...

Below is the first "Unglip" story, which predates this blog. ---------------------------------------------------------- August 26, 2004 Cycle 3, Blue Planet Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting. I have been trying to blend in since arriving here. I do not have a rolling, transportation device or a portable, electronic unit to vocalize into while I walk or drive. I'm afraid it has caused me to stand out. During the previous cycle of the sun, I attempted to ride the long transport that picks these beings up on the corners of the rolling-surface. I got onboard, and I was looked at harshly and the operator vocalized and motioned toward a machine. I had seen someone put small metal disks into it, and I attempted to insert three domblecks into the slot. The machine would not accept them and I was (I'm assuming) told to leave the transport. I did not understand the vocalizations, but it sounded like, "dam-for-ener!" I proceeded to a sustenance depot, where I beg...

What does a coward look like? Just like what you see in the picture. Shooting unarmed people is not heroic by any stretch of the imagination. It takes an extreme coward. How sad that anyone could be so screwed-up. http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/17/vtech.shooting/index.html

I never cared much for Imus. Ironically, one of the biggest, self-proclaimed, political correctness gurus that I’ve ever known loves Imus, but that’s another story... I always saw Imus as a mumbling, grouchy old man. Still, even here in the “land of the easily offended,” I thought there was supposed to be “freedom of speech.” If Don Imus offends you, don’t watch or listen to him. This is your right, and it will soon affect his ratings when others join you. Once his ratings go low enough, his sponsors will pull his funding and he will go off the air. That said, he does have the right to say what he wants to, even if it is completely stupid, as were his comments about the Rutgers University, women’s basketball team, when he referred to them as “nappy-headed ho’s.” The TV news is filled with this moronic story today. Al Sharpton, get a life. Please everybody... just put this into perspective. No one died. It was completely stupid, what he said and also undeserving of anymore of our time. ...

Spring Break is nearly over! Where did the time go? I got a cold and so, had to cancel some visits. The weather was rainy, snowy at times, and windy. That made hiking difficult considering my usual places are flooding. A phone call yesterday informed me that a coworker died in a car accident out of state. Perhaps I need to put on my tall boots and go hiking anyway...

Once upon a time, there was a Beta fish on a shelf in a pet store. In the store in his tiny bowl, he ferociously swam at the other male Betas nearby. He swam so vigorously, that his new owner called him “Spaz,” and took him home. Spaz was the king of his new two-gallon bowl, and he was ready to protect it against any other male Betas who might try to invade his territory. Spaz grew up into a large, purple fish, who sometimes showed more blue or more red; and even a hint of green depending on the light. His fins grew long, and he was a large and most impressive looking fish. When he flared his gill covers to warn others to stay away, he looked quite fearsome. Then one day, Spaz saw another male Beta looking at him. Spaz approached cautiously, ready to defend his territory. When he got a good look at the other fish, he noticed that it was very large and had striking colors and long fins that looked like gauze skirts. For the first time ever, Spaz was unsure about rushing into a fight wit...

Yesterday I went hiking in the 8o degree Fahrenheit (26.67 degrees Celsius) heat. We got two feet of snow earlier in the month, and there was still a large patch of compressed snow at the edge of the woods near the swamp. I was hot, and walked out onto the snow to cool off. I was still hot. The sun was strong, and though I was surrounded by snow, it was still hot. How weird is that?

At the school district where I work, they are eliminating art from most of the elementary schools. How can you not have art for kids? This is the result of budget cuts. At a time when the USA should strive to become the economic superpower that it could/should be, employers are all cutting back and consumers are paying more than ever before for goods and services. Instead of being the world’s police force, America should fix the economy. Foreign wars are draining our wealth; unless of course, your income is tied to oil profits… The current administration is both funding a war and cutting taxes for the wealthy. That puts an extra burden on the local governments to tax more to make up for the shortage from the federal. Meanwhile, “bright boy” in the White House talks about, the “No-Child-Left-Behind” program like it is a lofty accomplishment. While Special Education continues to require more money from school districts, the rest of the students are now losing out on such programs as art,...

Cutris Makes Deal with Mexico March 22, 2007 UnAssociated Press It was reported today by inside sources who were found standing outside, that Cutris has just closed an important deal with Mexico. This deal would give Canada the right to buy oil from China, after it was pumped from wells in Brazil. Not much more is known about the deal, or if Cutris himself will profit from the revenues gained by Portugal. Australian sources seemed to indicate that Cutris would not make any monetary gains by the deal, but rather, he was simply settling a bet between Russia and Iran, as a favor to Pakistan.

After seeing an osprey while hiking last week, Cutris has taught himself to fly! Over the weekend, Cutris was seen flying around the 7-county metro area. When asked how he did it, Cutris denied that he had been flying, and said that he was just practicing his "Kung Fu" training.

In the olden days, before there were nights, there lived a prince named King. King the prince was in love with a beautiful girl named Slumina, who worked in the local sewage treatment facility just outside of town. King’s father, the Duke of Buttington did not approve of Slumina, and did all he could to discourage his son from romancing the girl. Unfortunately for the Duke, his son was smitten by Slumina and would not listen to reason. Then that guy named Stu came to town and started up a strip club. Slumina got a job at the club, and soon made enough money to start her own dog-walking business. Prince King married Slumina and they had two children, their son Hector, and daughter, Fall-Guy. The Duke of Buttington became a regular at Stu’s club, and spent his entire fortune there. Eventually, Stu became very rich and died of a drug overdose. The Duke of Buttington became a sorter at the sewage treatment facility outside of town. Slumina expanded her dog-walking business and became one o...