I am CuTRis

I saw this Subaru with Wisconsin license plates on the freeway. The back window was either duct tape d on, or the tape was being used for some other Red Green type of reason. Beautiful isn't it?  Click on picture to enlarge: Click 'back' to go back

My Orange Butt is Broadway 's breakout new hit! "Go see My Orange Butt! ," says the Lavender Newsletter . "Visually stunning!" says the Optometrist's Weekly . "Get excited about My Orange Butt !" says Some Guy in a Dress .  "My Orange Butt"

CuTRis Answers Ten Questions about the Woods. Click Here to see video.

CuTRis May Have Put Voodoo Spell on State Computers UnAssociated Press September 24, 2013 The problem with the state of Minnesota's computer system Is now thought to be the work of CuTRis . Apparently CuTRis has put a Voodoo spell on the system. CuTRis was busy sharpening pins and so was unavailable for comment at the time this story went to print.

Assume if you will, that " dumb " ends up winning. People all over are already saying, "my bad!" It is trendy to wear "prison pants" that are worn below the butt. Ignorance, vulgarity and bad manners are seen by many as attributes to strive for. So if "they" finally win out, what will the world be like? I envision turning on the TV to see a commercial like this one... Come to think of it... some commercials are already worse than that.

For $299 it better include a cookie!

No, not my son--me. It's not summer anymore so I had to switch from shorts to long pants. It was a good run though it started late with a colder than normal June.

CuTRis Donates Temple UnAssociated press September 22, 2013 CuTRis has apparently donated his temple to a group of men who were all wearing red robes. Critics say CuTRis did this as a tax dodge --which is what he was trying to accomplish in the first place. When asked to comment about these allegations, CuTRis began speaking in the Ket language ; which no one understood.

CuTRis Released Without Charges UnAssociated Press September 20, 2013 While preparing to plead, "Innocent by reason of Stupidity," in front of a Quart-of-Slaw today, CuTRis was released after all charges were dismissed. Apparently law enforcement officials had not read CuTRis his Miranda Rights in the Ket language , which was the particular language that CuTRis was using that day as part of his religious beliefs .

CuTRis Speaks to Access Hollywood UnAssociated Press September 20, 2013 Since no one else was interested, CuTRis spoke to Access Hollywood from jail this morning. Later, the UnAssociated Press pirated this video from Access Hollywood--that shows CuTRis speaking about his struggle during his arrest yesterday.  

CuTRis is in Jail UnAssociated Press September 20, 2013 CuTRis is reported to be in jail this morning awaiting formal charges of fraud , operating a cult , and resisting arrest .

Authorities Raid CuTRis Temple UnAssociated Press September 19, 2013 Armed federal marshals stormed the CuTRis temple this morning citing only that CuTRis had "really pissed someone off this time!" CuTRis was last seen being led away in handcuffs shouting something about religious persecution .

CuTRis Outlines CuTRisism UnAssociated Press September 19, 2013 According to a statement released by CuTRis , his new religion revolves around enlightenment . He also said there might be beer involved--but the details have not been worked out yet. CuTRis was sitting on a small throne during the press conference . Eventually, however, he said that he was growing tire of reporters and he needed to go meditate .

CuTRis May Have Started His Own Religion UnAssociated Press September 18, 2013 Speculation around CuTRis living in a temple, is that he may have started his own religion as a tax dodge . CuTRis was unavailable for comment when channel 4 news crews arrived. They were all wearing horrid sweaters and CuTRis merely shook his head in disgust.

CuTRis May Be Living in Temple UnAssociated Press September 17, 2013 Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.   This photo is responsible for the new rumor that CuTRis may now be living in a temple .

"Honest, no one knew the window washer was still out there. It wasn't until after that storm that we saw his hand waving... well it really wasn't moving I guess."  

Sometime ago I wrote about how as a kid I told my mom I needed Oreos to keep my eyes brown . Well I've noticed my eyes have been changing color to green over the years and Now I think I might have found out why!

CuTRis Discovers Weapons-Grade Acorns UnAssociated Press September 12, 2013 Undocumented sources reported today that CuTRis has discovered a large supply of Weapons-grade acorns . At least one source said this is proof that we should "bomb the hell out of" numerous foreign countries. When asked where he found the acorns, CuTRis responded that they were "beneath a large tree."

Twelve years ago I was working in a very negative environment. One day something really bad happened. The people I worked with were typically divided down racial lines. I was among those who were in disbelief and shock at the tragedy of that day , while the other extreme let out shouts of delight when the word came that anyone who felt they needed to leave work could go and they would still be paid. The fore mentioned group filed out laughing and carrying on because they were given a "holiday." I stayed and worked because I was too upset to have a "fun" day off. I lived near the airport at the time and also as a child so I was used to airplane noise. There was none when I got home. I had trouble sleeping--not because of jet noise--but because I could barely hear that lone F-16 patrolling at high altitude. It was eerie and I will never forget that day or the horrible people who caused the disaster and that disgusting reaction by a certain group of my coworkers. The U...

CuTRis Back Home From Mars UnAssociated Press September 11, 2013 His aim was good as CuTRis has apparently used a giant slingshot to shoot himself back from the planet Mars . At a top secret televised debriefing, CuTRis recounted his journey home. The secret transcript is published below.  Dramatization "When I first landed on Mars there wasn’t much to do except hold my breath and hangout. Later, I found some water which was good 'cuz I was pretty thirsty. I met some Martians and let them try the water. They liked it and realized that they were really thirsty too! Well, they started drinking all my water so I decided to charge them for it. The first thing I bought (from them) was a tank of oxygen. I hadn't breathed any air for quite a while--since the atmosphere on Mars has hardly any oxygen. Well pretty soon the Martians were charging me a lot for the oxygen when they realized I needed it to live. Well that made me mad and I raised the price of water! Pre...

Meteor May Be Attributed to CuTRis UnAssociated Press September 10, 2013 A meteor seen streaking toward Earth this morning has now been attributed to CuTRis in his recent attempt to return home from the planet Mars .  

CuTRis May Have Found Transportation Home UnAssociated Press September 10, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that due to a dispute with the Martian s over recent transactions on the planet Mars , CuTRis has secured a means of transportation to get back to Earth . Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.  

CuTRis May Be Fighting with Martians UnAssociated Press September 9, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may now be in a dispute with the Martian s over recent transactions on the planet Mars . Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.  

CuTRis May Be Buying Oxygen From Martians UnAssociated Press September 9, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have been unable to hold his breath any longer --and may now be buying oxygen from the Martian s on Mars . Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.  

CuTRis May Be Selling Water on Mars UnAssociated Press September 6, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have made contact with Martian life on Mars and is probably selling water to them.   Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.  

CuTRis May Have Found Martians UnAssociated Press September 6, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have made contact with Martian life on Mars . Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.  

CuTRis May Be Driving Rover on Mars UnAssociated Press September 6, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have found and now be driving the Mars rover on Mars . Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.  

CuTRis May Have Found Water on Mars UnAssociated Press September 5, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have found water on Mars .   Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.

CuTRis May Be On the Red Planet UnAssociated Press September 5, 2013 This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may currently be on the Red Planet . Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back. 

CuTRis Visits the Federation UnAssociated Press Stardate 20130804.712 This photo of CuTRis apparently on Starbase Not In Time, is leading to speculation that he is visiting the United Federation of Planets.

Regarding the Syrian issue , "You're damned if you do; and you're damned if you don't. The warmonger s were saying Obama should authorize the use of force (i.e. bombs) without the approval of the rest of the planet. Others wanted the cooperation of the rest of the world. So, when Obama decided to wait, like what a responsible person would do, he has been dubbed a " wimp " by the war mongers. This issue is another no winner--just like Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. The USA will either look like bullies, or like wimps. Most people are never happy with the decision--whatever it is. Perhaps I will move to Mars .

CuTRis is Accused of Being Heavy-Handed UnAssociated Press September 3, 2013 CuTRis has been accused of being heavy-handed . CuTRis denied these allegations until someone brought a scale in and weighed his hand. CuTRis had to agree that his hand weighed a lot.