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Cutris Mission Unsuccessful

Cutris Mission Unsuccessful
UnAssociated Press
March 10, 2010
By Blip Martinson, Staff Reporter

Even the best laid plans can fail.

Click picture to enlarge

This sketch shows the brilliance of the plan Cutris used, which was originally created by Wile E. Coyote to catch the Roadrunner. In this case, Cutris was trying to trap Osama bin Laden by using a Toyota car instead of an ACME product.

Unfortunately, as Cutris told me in an interview last night, the plan had been working, until Al Qaeda's #32 man, Amir Agranny Agoat Ikidyounot found the Toyota car and drove it away! Cutris wasn't sure what he should do at first, so he was late in dropping the anvil. The car sped away and then returned several minutes later with Osama bin Laden as a passenger!

The Toyota suddenly began to speed out-of-control as a result of the accelerator and brake issues that are the subject of recalls. Even though driver, Amir Agranny Agoat Ikidyounot saw the anvil (now in the middle of the road), he was unable to stop in time!

The car hit the anvil at high speed. Al Qaeda's #32 man, Amir Agranny Agoat Ikidyounot was killed on impact. Osama bin Laden, however, was saved by the front airbag. Upon exiting the car, Osama apparently tripped on the anvil and fell on the road. He is thought to be walking with a cane now--which is how he usually walked anyway.

Cutris indicated that he would be leaving Afghanistan soon.

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