I am CuTRis

Monday, my wife and I went hiking in West Wilkie (Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge). It was a beautiful day! We saw a lot of deer signs, some swans and a small group of Hooded Mergansers on the Minnesota River. Here's a couple photographs. Swans and ducks on Blue Lake The Beaver Dam Many tracks on the pond between Blue Lake and Fisher Lake

Here's a couple of pictures from the annual band get-together.

Disclaimer: If you are offended by this reference to Christmas, get over yourself and join the global society. Feel free to wish me a happy Hanukkah , Ramadan, Kwanzaa or whatever else you can come up with.

Every year the Minnesota Vikings look good on paper. Every year I wish for the best. Every year they bring me hope and then rollover and die. After a horrible start this season, Tarvaris Jackson was replaced by Gus Frerotte at Quarterback. Then Gus was injured playing Detroit and Tarvaris came back and looked good! The (super-annoying) commentators can't seem to talk about much besides how great Adrian Peterson is. Half the time, these know-it-alls are calling Chester Taylor, Peterson. Taylor is an exceptional running back who not only makes Peterson better by taking his turn, but he adds the dimension of being able to catch the ball as well as run with it. No doubt Adrian Peterson is good and he can break some nice runs, but yesterday against Atlanta he showed his weakness. He can't seem to hang onto the ball and dropped it or fumbled a ridiculous number of times. In Peterson's defence, others on the team couldn't hold onto the ball either. Hey! Do you guys know where ...

Cutris & Santa to go on Secret Mission UnAssociated Press December 18, 2008 Reports out of Washington D.C. indicate that Barack Obama has given Cutris a special security position for a secret mission that will be detailed on the Oprah Winfrey show later this week. Apparently President-elect, Obama, is entrusting Cutris to accompany Santa Claus to make sure that presents are delivered to all the good little boys and girls in an effort to stimulate the economy. "It's a huge honor," said Cutris , "I knew that online course I took in Shaolin and Kung Fu would come in handy!" Cutris and Santa are expected to leave the evening of December 24th, and finish early in the morning the next day. They will be taking a flying sleigh powered by eight tiny reindeer. Both assured reporters that their super-secret mission would be successful despite the threats from Al-Qaeda and the Grinch.

It’s dark out. It’s dark a lot this time of year. The temperature is subzero and my car’s fan is blowing against the inside windows to keep them from frosting over. The roads are still slippery from the recent snow and “black ice.” The wind whips ice particles in front of my car as I work my way to the left lane to catch that left exit. I keep a reasonable distance between my car and the one ahead. This seems to annoy the other drivers who continue to change lanes. The car behind me is so close I can’t see its headlights. We’re all moving quickly down the freeway. At last, the truck behind me is back what seems like a safe distance. Suddenly I see red lights and traffic stops in front of me. I have just enough room to stop safely, but I look behind me and the truck is sliding sideways toward me. The truck screeches and ends up between my car and the freeway barrier. My new Fusion has narrowly missed being crunched from behind. Gradually traffic begins to move again.

Now at last, the CD you've been waiting your whole life for! Cutris sings Schoolyard Holiday Classics! Hear Cutris sing the holiday schoolyard favorites, acapella like you remember them! Songs like, "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" "Walkin' in my Winter Underwear" and "Rudolph the Red-Gun Cowboy" Celebrate the holidays with these favorites for only $68.95 + 12.97 for shipping and handling! Send check or money order to Cutris Schoolyard Holiday Classics Ripoff 12345 Ripoff Way Tokyo, Montana 91728

This morning, gasoline prices went up 32 cents per gallon (where I buy it), since yesterday. This due to the expectation that OPEC will reduce production. Don't expect the recent trend of gas prices declining to continue forever...

Are you tired of razors with only two, three, maybe four blades? Try the new Shtick 9-Lives Razor! ™ This revolutionary nine (9) bladed razor will cut through anything! The first blade sends an email to the second blade , asking for permission to cut the hair. The second blade calls the third blade via cell phone, to ask the fourth blade out to lunch. The fifth blade meets the other blades for a conference which results in the sixth blade doing a feasibility study. The seventh blade signs off on the project, causing the eighth blade to bend the hair over. The ninth blade cuts the hair off for the smoothest most bureaucratic shave possible! Try the new Shtick 9-Lives Razor! ™ Available at fine stores everywhere!

Cutris Cleared of Wrongdoing! UnAssociated Press December 11, 2008 Cutris has been cleared of charges that he purchased Barack Obama's vacated senate seat from Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich for 50 cents. When asked about the story that sprung yesterday, Cutris said, "Those *&^%#@#$% will say anything to get a story!" Cutris has been cleared by the senate, Barack Obama, Scotland Yard and Barney (the purple dinosaur).

Cutris may have Bought Senate Seat from Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich! UnAssociated Press December 10, 2008 Former presidential candidate Cutris , may be involved in yet another scandal! Allegations from an unknown source, suggest that Cutris may have bought Barack Obama's vacated senate seat for 50 cents. No verifiable proof exists of this allegation.

I've noticed a trend with certain people. They want things a certain way and won't accept that their direction is flawed. So, they keep asking more people until finally, hopefully, someone will validate their methods, however unwise or costly.

To make a great breakfast burrito, you begin by making an omelet. For that refer to my previous blog, How to Make a Great Omelet . Then simply use the spatula to move the "omelet" to a plate and cut it to the size appropriate for your tortilla. You won't be folding the egg, instead add meat, cheese, salsa and sour cream if desired. Warm your tortilla wrappers on both sides in the pan, and place the finished egg in the middle. Fold the ends in and roll it up. Below are the steps in pictures. This is a breakfast favorite for me and my wife.

When women are not considered as important as men, only bad can come of it. It starts with selling daughters as wives, essentially turning them into livestock with a price. Then, as these insecure men seek to control the women, they may use drastic measures such as acid attacks to terrorize women into behaving the way the screwed-up male population wants them to. This is often done in areas where religion, culture and dress has changed little in 2000 years. Modern women scare these backward thinkers. We can only hope that this stops soon. Getting there is often a matter of taking a series of steps. Remove any step along the way, and you may change things. Follow blindly because it is expected, and you perpetuate it. Those of us who live in safe places should lead by example. KJC http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/1484145.stm http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=13760338

How about giving to charity instead of buying Christmas presents?

I like omelets a lot. The key to a good omelet resides in the ingredients, and how well it is cooked. In order to keep your omelet from being runny in the middle, it should be flipped. This is the most crucial step, as doing it improperly can cause the whole thing to crumble –especially if you like to fill the egg batter with lots of vegetables. First make sure your pan is hot (but not too hot!) and primed with a little canola oil. I’ve found that my raw vegetables (for example: onion, pepper, broccoli, mushrooms, tomato, cilantro, *garlic, ginger), added to the eggs (in this case three eggs) and some spices and herbs (for example: Lawry’s , *garlic, Italian herbs, salt, pepper, etc.), cook perfectly along with the frying eggs. The difficulty lies in flipping this “loaded” egg batter. (* Garlic can be added in a dry powder form or fresh, depending on how powerful you want it to be.) The key is in the first flip, before the top has been cooked. This uncooked side can tear during the fli...

Cutris Wears Out Shoes November 24, 2008 UnAssociated Press Cutris has returned home to Minnesota! At a news conference in St. Paul’s east side, Cutris told reporters about his journey home after his trip to the moon aboard his homemade flying saucer, crash-landing and subsequent bouncing to Africa in his protective suit, and then flying a WW2 German airplane, crash-landing in Libya, bouncing into the Atlantic Ocean, rescue by Norwegian fishermen, transfer to Massachusetts, before finally walking nearly 1,500 miles home. “It took me all weekend and part of Monday to make it home.” Said Cutris ; “I traded my protective suit to the owner of Fong’s Chinese Buffet for a meal and a bamboo tube filled with rice for my journey. I jogged through much of Pennsylvania to save time, and took a 5-minute break in Elkhart, Indiana before walking past Chicago, through Wisconsin and back home.” Cutris seemed to be in good spirits and good health, except for a slight scratch that appeared to be mostly...

Cutris Back in the USA November 21, 2008 UnAssociated Press Cutris is back in the U.S.A., according to sources today. He was transferred from the Norwegian fishing vessel that rescued him, to a U.S. Navy Destroyer. Eventually, he hitched a ride with the U.S. Coast Guard to return to the U.S. mainland; somewhere on the coast of Massachusetts. Cutris then apparently started walking west, toward Minnesota. No confirmation of his current whereabouts is known.

Explorer Rescued by Norwegian Fishermen International Bizarre November 20, 2008 International explorer, Cutris , has been found alive by a Norwegian fishing boat in the Atlantic Ocean. Captain Olav Lefse, of the Norsk Stor Båt told reporters yesterday, that his men had pulled up their fishing net, only to discover a man in a big "puffy suit" inside. The man identified himself as Cutris , former U.S. presidential candidate turned explorer. Cutris will stay aboard the Norsk Stor Båt , until it reaches port or he can be transferred to a U.S. ship. Video footage of Cutris

Cutris Whereabouts Unknown November 18, 2008 UnAssociated Press Former presidential candidate-turned-explorer Cutris has apparently made his way by caravan to North Africa, where he found an old WWII German airplane that he "fixed up." Cutris travelled by similar caravan Cutris then (according to the U.S. State Department) flew the airplane until it ran out of fuel. Cutris flies old German airplane It is at this point that Cutris sent this message, picked up by a U.S. satellite, monitoring transmissions from Libya. Transcript: "Mayday, mayday, this is Cutris ! I'm going down. Fortunately I'm still wearing my protective suit!" The Cutris crash site caught at impact by Japanese tourists A group of lost Japanese tourists happened to photograph the crash, and according to Hiroki Mashuita , a man in a "puffy suit" went bouncing away. Cutris was wearing a protective suit like this one Cutris is thought to have bounced to an unknown location. No more is ...

United States Central Intelligence Agency Radio Signal Monitoring Division November 17, 2008 5:19PM EST REPORT: RE: Intercepted Cutris Radio Transmission #2 ... The inhabitants have tried to make me out to be some sort of deity. I've tried my best to tell them that such an idea is cliché, and I cannot assume such a role. Their response was violent in nature, and I indicated that this too was a cliché, and I asked them where the "restroom" was. I was shown to a small hut, where I relieved myself in the blankets, as these poor people must do. When I left the hut, someone else was entering -probably for the same purpose. I heard angry shouts as I walked away, and I was eventually led to another hut with a radio. It appears that perhaps it was pulled off of an aircraft. I now get the feeling that these people would like me to leave here and find my way home... (Static) TRANSMISSION ENDS

United States Central Intelligence Agency Radio Signal Monitoring Division November 14, 2008 2:57AM EST REPORT: RE: Audio Transmission from African Congo thought to be Curtis … I was saved by my protective suit during the crash-landing… … My flying saucer is likely a complete loss. How I survived is both a miracle, and a tribute to the fine protective suit I was wearing… … I assume by the people, animals and plant life, that I am somewhere in West Africa. I have sustained a tiny scratch to my right index finger as a result of the crash. I am otherwise in good health and reasonably good spirits. I am hoping that there are pizzas here. I've always said that if I were a wildman living in the forest, pizza would be my natural food. I'm also hoping to find some beer. I drank my last Leinenkugel's on the flight back to Earth. I'm hoping to make my way on foot to some sort of civilization. I need to find a way back to Minnesota. My wife is probably wondering where I am… (Stati...

Cutris Crashes Back to Earth! November 14, 2008 UnAssociated Press With no pizza or beer to be found on the moon, Cutris apparently decided to make a hasty return to Earth. According to NASA officials, his craft crash-landed in the desert of southern New Mexico. Cutris' flying saucer shown crash landing Though no word has come from Cutris since the disastrous looking landing, he apparently was wearing a revolutionary protective suit, that may have caused him to bounce as much as 16,000 kilometers from the reentry site. Hope remains, that Cutris has survived this tragic event. Photo showing a protective suit like the one Cutris may have been wearing

Cutris Lands on the Moon November 13, 2008 UnAssociated Press NASA released a statement this morning, that Cutris "may have" landed on the moon. Meanwhile, CNN is circulating pictures and a transcribed version of an alleged interview with the former candidate, now turned space explorer. The Moon from the Cutris' flying saucer CNN: What do you see yourself accomplishing on your moon trip? CUTRIS: I'm going to find out if the moon is really made of cheese. CNN: Do you have any preliminary results? CUTRIS: Yes, this moon dirt tastes awful! I'm going to look for a pizza place! Cutris shown searching the moon for pizza.

Cutris sends Photos back to Earth November 12, 2008 UnAssociated Press NASA has received confirmation that Cutris has been orbiting Earth for the last two days. He has "beamed" the following pictures back to Earth. The first photo shows Cutris at the controls of his new flying saucer. The second photo is a lovely view of the planet Earth from Cutris' flying saucer's window. Cutris has apparently told NASA officials that he plans to "stop by the moon" next, as long as his "beer and pizza holds out."

Cutris Appears to have Left the Earth! November 11, 2008 Unassociated Press NASA officials have indicated that a presumed UFO, was actually Cutris leaving the Earth in his homemade flying saucer. The presumed UFO was being chased by two F-16 Fighters, when the pilots reported that it appeared that the occupant of the saucer may have "mooned" them, before leaving the Earth's atmosphere.

Cutris Finds Flying Saucer November 10, 2008 UnAssociated Press Former presidential candidate Cutris is back in the news this week. It seems he has found a tiny, (perhaps ancient) flying saucer embedded in a tree. Inside sources say that Cutris has been working in his basement to create a full size model, that will take him back into space . More news is expected this week about this exciting project.

Just in case your Johnson is out-of-control... But make sure to keep the controls locked up behind a fence. You don't want just anyone controlling your Johnson.

In all seriousness, a great thing has happened in the United States, and it should not be mishandled. To tout it as a “Black Victory” is completely undermining the true spirit of this achievement. The United States of America has perhaps matured to a point where it is no longer simply an old, rich, Caucasian who can be President. This not only reflects the changes in our collective attitudes, but also the changes in our population demographics. This victory belongs to all of us. The fact that an African-American has been voted to the top job in government can serve to unite us all, if it isn’t overly emphasized as a black victory. Barack Obama himself is biracial after all, and that too is symbolic of this victory that belongs to all of America. Barack Obama would not have won the presidency if he didn’t have the votes of other races. In fact, the accusations that I heard prior to the election, that white voters would publicly support Obama, and then go into the privacy of the voting b...

Cutris shown immediately after finding out that Florida found a hidden box of ballots under some old rags in a janitor's closet and then finding out that he had not won the 2008 Presidential Election.

Cutris shown immediately after finding out he won the 2008 Presidential Election.

Early voting results show Cutris with a strong lead against McCain and Obama. Polling places are overrun with write-in votes!

Tomorrow is the big day! It's time to vote for the one candidate who didn't run a negative campaign. Cutris didn't have to tell you how horrible the other candidates are, you already know that. Cutris didn't call your cell phone or put pamphlets in your door. It's time to show your appreciation. Cutris will work on the national debt, to avoid China running their flag up the White House pole by default after they own us. Cutris will focus on alternative energy. Cutris will run the terrorists out of town with a big stick! Remember to write Cutris on your ballet. Cutris is the real choice for middle America.

We saw these guys play Saturday night. It was a really good show! Six String Playground .

What a beautiful day for a hike between Long Meadow Lake and the Minnesota River...

The Hmong were U.S. allies in the "secret war in Laos." Since the U.S. left Vietnam in 1975, the Communist government has tried to brutally eliminate them. http://www.rebeccasommer.org/documentaries/Hmong/ http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/article/2008/03/27/interview-latehomecomer-kao-kalia-yang.html http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?r=1&ISBN=9781566892087&ourl=The%2DLatehomecomer%2FKao%2DKalia%2DYang

He's Patriotic! He's really Patriotic! And he's a Straight-Shooter! Vote for Cutris, he's patriotic, really patriotic and he's a straight-shooter! Paid for by the Cutris for President Campaign.