I am CuTRis

Yesterday was a great day for a hike through the bluffs and down to the creek—where we crossed over some rocks and then walked the paved pathway back to our car. https://parks.co.ramsey.mn.us/parks/pages/battlecreek.aspx

If you can be " refreshed ," can you also be "freshed?"

Here is a picture that I created from a photo I took of a glass ceiling. I erased the outer portion and adjusted the color and contrast. It looks kind of cool doesn't it? -KJC

Are you tired of "Home Style?" Then you will love our new "Institutional Style" flavor!

What am I dumb? Am I supposed to believe that I actually get a "free" tire? Don't you suppose that maybe the cost of the fourth tire is " built-in " to the price of the other three? Yet I see this advertising ploy all the time! Who only buys three tires? "Yeah, I don't drive on the left rear tire very much so I just need the other three..." This reminds me of the coupon that Rainbow Foods had last week for 50 cents off a dozen eggs! Cub Foods (both are owned by SuperValu ) had eggs for $1.99/dozen and Rainbow upped the price to $2.49 with a -50 cent coupon for a final cost of $1.99! Wow! I "saved" 50 cents!!! NOT!

When I'm driving and someone needs to merge into the lane in front of me, I slow down and let them in. So when I need to switch lanes to get to my exit, I wonder why when I put my signal light on the person behind me (in the lane I need) so often finds it necessary to attempt to block my access. What does this aggressive driving accomplish? It happened twice last evening as I drove home from my in-laws house. In one case, I had little option except miss my exit so I merged anyway. This precipitated honking, light flashing and finger displaying as well as the person (in the big SUV) got into the lane I had come from and passed me and several other cars—before finally cutting back into the original lane (at the last moment) and causing everyone behind to apply the brakes. Why are some people so ornery when they get behind the wheel? Perhaps they own the road and no one has told me about it?

I knew it! http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/03/23/your-poop-could-be-a-literal-goldmine-of-precious-metals/

I was driving down the freeway minding my own business when I noticed Batman coming up fast behind me. I got this two-second video of him as he passed!

If you look carefully, There is a deer in this video. I saw three yesterday.

The bus stopped at the railroad tracks and then the door opened. Then it drove off again. Did someone get on? Did someone get off? The door opened for somebody; but I didn't see anyone! Who was it? Was it a ghost? Was it the invisible man? Why did the door open if nobody was there?

During my daily walk today (I should mention I tend to walk off trail through woods and swamps) I saw a rather large coyote . When it broke cover from tall swamp growth, I expected it was a small deer. After getting a good look at it, however, it was unmistakably a coyote. I followed it and saw it once more and then it vanished. The coloration of the animal's fur was perfect camouflage .

Ariana Miyamoto And though all of the Japanese men secretly wanted her, the biracial beauty contestant was criticized for "not being Japanese enough." It seems that there are still people who cannot see beauty beyond their own racial prejudice s.

Nothing can give you a sense of security, like working at a company that uses strategery .

The current news is full of real-life (as opposed to made-up) racial equality stories. Here is one for the Black Lives Matter people to checkout. 7 Men Charged in Downtown St. Paul Skyway, Light Rail Platform Attacks http://kstp.com/news/stories/S3744043.shtml?cat=1 For the record, I don't care if you are white, black, blue or green. If you are assaulting innocent people you are wrong. Forgive me if I am not as worried about your rights as I am about the people you hurt. And here is one for those who have leveled the accusation that only (lost) blonde girls are searched for . Family, Friends Hold Prayer Vigil for Missing Crystal Boy http://kstp.com/news/stories/S3743372.shtml?cat=1 For the record, I don't like anyone who hurts children, animals, women or the elderly. I hope they find this kid and get him back home and prosecute those who are responsible for his disappearance. The truth is often right in front of you. It isn't necessarily what someone i...

Ant Poison That's probably why ant s totally avoid it!

I like the Aldi stores, but I must admit that the shopping experience is not particularly pleasant. I put up with it because the prices simply cannot be beaten by any other store. That said, this simple fact lends itself to a more "difficult" clientele than many other stores will have to deal with. This is likely why Aldi often has a security guard posted near the entrance. There is one particular Aldi store that is near where I live that seems to have a greater abundance of drama than the other stores I've been to. I've seen belligerent people, people who can't pay, drunk people, people being arrested, etc., but yesterday I witnessed an elderly man who had just fallen. The poor guy had just paid for a cart full of groceries and fell down as he was preparing to leave. His leg looked like it was probably injured in the process. Someone called for "security," which I must say, this particular security officer was nearly useless during this event....

  http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/03/19/youve-been-iced-did-dustin-diamond-threaten-to-stab-man-in-bar-before-stabbing/

For those who don't eat pork , you will never know just how good these grilled pork chops taste.

The Como Zoo and Conservatory was a favorite destination for me when I was my son's age—and some things never change. My son likes it just as well as I do!

Blacque Jacque Shellacque "You think you rough eh?"

Apparently Target is hiring! It seems ironic that just a week ago Target announced mass layoffs !

No man! Don't drink the green beer! It is an abomination . I know a little about beer and it should not be green !

Driving with my 3-year-old son he asked, "C h e v r o l e t" "What's that spell daddy?" I answered, That spells Chevrolet ; where did you see that?" Then he replied, "On that truck!"

We saw this Pileated Woodpecker on Saturday while walking.

 In case you don't know which end is up ...

I sent this (see below) to Trader Joe's online feedback on the website exactly two months ago today—where they claim that they are eager to hear comments. I’m thinking two months later—with a reminder at one month—that really isn’t the case. I like the store most of the time, but I don’t believe that they really care what I think. Walking through produce (Store 727) today I noticed some nice Bartlett pears in 2# bags. The sign on the bin said Bartlett Pears 2# $2.49. When I got to the register they were $3.49. I was overcharged! I brought it to the cashier's attention and she rang a bell and a guy went to look. He didn't find the sign (lots of stuff not priced) and went to another register to get the price of $3.49. The cashier (Liz) removed the item from my bill and I paid (Invoice 3404) and put my groceries in the car. Just to satisfy myself, I went back in and the sign was still there for the pears but now apples were in that bin. I took a digital picture and showed...

CuTRis Takes 4 Minutes UnAssociated Press March 12, 2015 In the latest scandal involving CuTRis , he allegedly took 4 minutes to make a call on a 3-minute telephone . No other information exists at this time and CuTRis has not (yet) been arrested .

His nose looks brown to me... Apparently the Scarecrow was not only brainless , he was also a brown-nose !

I took this photo of a Bald Eagle nest this afternoon. I thought it looked cool with the Sun shining next to it.

I've been trying to liquidate an HSA account from a previous employer. Every time I pay for something health related, I have to go back later and prove it. Even if the charge is to a clinic I have to go back and get documentation to prove I didn't buy beer. Today I will go back to the Ford dealer to get replacement parts for my replacement parts. My first replacement parts have already failed. Fortunately it is for something I can install myself. It would have been nice though, if the parts were good the first time. I hold little hope the new parts will last. Best Western (hotel) has also charged my credit card (that they require for "incidentals") for the room that my company put on the company credit card for the conference I worked at recently. Now I have to try to get them to do it the way they were supposed to do it in the first place. It seems that everything has to be done at least twice because between poor quality and distracted employees, nothing is correc...

"The new reverse-osmosis, trans-pivotal, extract process was created by our DI team for customers who want to "will" their data to us. It works almost 47 ½ % of the time and should decrease revenue by 23% over the next 12 minutes…"

"Hello Garden Store, Do you have any orgasmic fertilizer? I need it right away!" * This message was sent with High Impotence.

"OK" Sent on the new Sprint Network from my Samsung Galaxy S®4. Sent from my iPhone Emailed from my Dell Vostro. Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE DROID Called from a land-line in Alamogordo, NM Driven by pickup truck in the pocket of my jeans. Written on a piece of paper with a pencil. Sent by smoke signal from White Mountain, AZ

A person from Jet-Black came to give me a driveway estimate last summer. He neglected to address the real issue and wanted to put a coating over the top. That would be like fixing a broken leg with a band-aid . He also said the company was too busy to actually fix my driveway. Now he is back; leaving me emails and sending letters in the mail. Here is my response to his email. Your company came out and gave me an estimate to "paint" my driveway. I needed to address an area that was sinking near the front of my garage. I have since had a full driveway replacement from another company that chose to address the actual problem. You may now stop sending me estimates as I am no longer interested in doing business with your company.

Recently at a work related conference, I was given a Green Delicious apple with my lunch. Like the Red Delicious (variety of) apples, I've noticed the creators of this variety of fruit were savvy enough to put the color before the word "delicious," so as not to confuse it with a delicious green apple. I always think of these as "school apples;" since this is the kind most often served by educational institutions—due to the cheapness of price in comparison to better tasting apples. One interesting note is that schools do not allow students to possess knives of any kind, yet to eat one of these apples without peeling it is like eating an extra layer of cardboard around your fruit—since the peelings are rather "tough." As an adult, I had access to a knife so I peeled mine—only to find that indeed, it was more "green," than it was "delicious."

There is some political fighting going on now regarding Minnesota's (alleged) 1.9 Billion dollar surplus . So I thought I would give my opinion. 1. Don't spend it stupidly by sending everyone a (small) check to give it back like when Jesse Ventura was governor. 2. Give money back to the schools that was taken when there was a budget shortage not so long ago. 3. Save some of the money to use NEXT TIME there is a budget shortage. 4. Why are my taxes so high if we have extra money? 5. How about fixing some of the bad roads and bridges? 6. The environment is always a good place to put extra money.

Leonard Nimoy has died. Farewell Mr. Spock .

CuTRis Gets Tractor UnAssociated Press February 26, 2015 CuTRis was seen standing next to a tractor today; causing speculation that he may have gotten himself a new tractor. No further information about CuTRis or his tractor was available at the time of this printing.

My room got upgraded to a suite at my company's out-of-town conference. It is as big as my first house and bigger than the condo I used to have!             

When you are lost and driving in a snowstorm, stay calm and follow that beer truck. Whatever happens, only beer can keep you hydrated, fed and happy until warmer weather comes.

Snow + Freeway Traffic Stopped + Wrong Turn + Lost Now + Stuck between River & Downtown + Back On Track + Go This Way Now + Finally In Familiar Territory = Got There!!! My 3-year-old son says, "Did we take the long way daddy?" I look at the odometer. "Yeah," I reply, "27 extra miles. We took the long way..."

-10 Degrees Fahrenheit. That's -23 Celsius for metric users. It's pretty cold outside when you think about it. Now add the wind and you better have a warm coat.

Dave got a new job. He started today. I sent him this helpful advice. Remember... 1. Try not to learn everything in one day, that pisses people off. 2. Try not to piss people off on your first day. 3. Try not to get pissed off. 4. Piss off!

Children's Lives Matter! Yet more and more are being killed and no one is protesting! How come? http://kstp.com/news/stories/S3706001.shtml?cat=1

Pizza Rolls! Cooked with nature's most natural form of cooking... Microwaves!

Is that the Red Hot Chilli Peppers unplugged? Yeah, it's the Red Hot Chilli Peppers unplugged... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLnZ3faY38Q

You have coconut chips? Dang!

When the chips won't go down you need some big help and you need it fast! That's when you call on the new, patented, Turdo-Matic™ Suction Auger ! If things are beginning to smell bad and the waters are rising fast, don't trust anything else! CuTRis Turdo-Matic Promo

Roto-Rooter has arrived with the Turdo-Matic™ . We should see some improvement very soon!

Amazing video of a tragic event. http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/02/04/us-taiwan-airplane-idUSKBN0L808520150204

I think it should be clear to everyone in the world after ISIS burned a Jordanian pilot to death in a cage , that ISIS, is not about Islam . It is not about religion at all. It is about terrorism . Unless your religion involves the dark angel, I can't think of any religion that believes it is good to put a man inside of a cage and then burn him alive. Certainly it may be shocking—as are the other videos ISIS has posted of beheadings. However, if we look at humanity historically, these Crimes against humanity have existed for as long as humanity itself. That said, historically, the greater population typically outnumbers those who are deranged enough to want such atrocities to continue. In essence, ISIS may have signed its own death warrant. While the creation and distribution of these disturbing videos is meant to terrorize the world into allowing ISIS to flourish, I think it will have the opposite effect. No normal person with a soul could see these acts as anything other than...

Tony, Paulie, Silvio, Furio and Christoper are very happy that the Patriots won. Me, not so much.

If you've heard of the numerous cowardly attacks on individuals in St. Paul recently, you might be interested to know that Michael Jackson has been arrested!

I understand that there is a winter storm in New England right now. About 12 years ago, someone told me the winters in New England were quite mild. Apparently that is just not true. If you live on the east coast, however, never fear! The New England Patriots have been called in to deflate the storm! Help is on the way! I have to go outside now. It's been so nice out here in the Midwest lately.

Now in new Spring Cougar Scent!

This dad is paying attention to what happens to his kids. You have to like what he did; and you have to wonder about the people who caused him to have to do it. http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2015/01/21/prior-lake-father-calls-out-teen-daughters-bullies-online/

If you've heard of or use Rockstar Energy Drinks , you might be interested to know that they now have a new product called, Washed-Up Rockstar Anti-Energy Drink ! Now, if you are too energetic , you can enjoy this sensational new drink! Made with all-natural Tap water , cheap whiskey and quaaludes , this drink will knock you out for hours!

Suppose Captain Picard from Star Trek was unable to locate "Number 1" . Would he have to resort to "Number 2?" http://youtu.be/L66xfdG5BP0

Let's face it. Ball deflation is a serious (and sometimes embarrassing) topic! When I heard that the New England Patriots won their championship game with under-inflated balls I was astounded! "Were all of their balls under-inflated?" I asked. "11 out of 12" I was told. Hmmmm... There are 11 men on the field from each team; so that means only one of them had properly inflated balls? And they still won the game? While I was thinking about my own balls and how upset I would be if one of them deflated, I began to marvel that the Patriots had won the game so decisively! I mean if someone was going to cheat, I would think poorly inflated balls would be a difficult thing to pull off! Would you have some reverse-inflation gadget in the protective cup? Now I could see if it was the Patriots who were trying to deflate the balls of the Indianapolis Colts , because after living briefly in New England I developed the impression that the Mafia was involved in al...

Biden got the joke; why didn't Boehner? Here is the condensed version of last night's State of the Union Speech given by President Barack Obama . "Things aren't perfect, but they are a lot better—and we're headed in the right direction. Tax the wealthiest 1% yada yada, blazay blazay." The short version of the Republican Response is, Things aren't better and we're headed in the wrong direction. We will undo everything that the Obama administration has done yada yada, nebuchadnezzar, over and out."

Sometimes those who cry loudest for change, should try to change themselves.

25 Today!

Yesterday as I watched a news feed about Black Lives Matter marching in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day , I wondered if Dr. King would approve of them blocking the light rail system ? I also found it ironic that since the police were the focus of their protest, that the police were keeping the protesters off of Interstate 94—which had they gotten on the freeway (like they have before ), could have resulted in a lethal and tragic situation. Then I formed a question in my mind. Do black lives really matter to this group? What I mean is, I could show numerous black on black deadly violence incidents that have occurred—yet the only ones that seem to matter to Black Lives Matter are the proportionally smaller number that have occurred when police have used deadly force. My question: If there are two black lives and one black life shoots and kills the other one, does this matter? Does the loss of life only matter when it is during a struggle with police or does it matter even if the...

Did you hear about this "big scandal" when someone named Naya Rivera said that showering daily is such a white people thing? I guess a lot of people were pretty upset about it and I'm not sure if I should have been! I mean, white people only have the opportunity to get upset (publicly) about openly anti-white remarks (see: racism) about once every 57 years—so did I miss my one and only chance??? But I wasn't offended. I don't think there is anything wrong with showering daily. Or was it the people who (supposedly) don't shower a lot who are mad? Because I have known some white people that really could up the frequency of their showering a few ticks... This is really confusing! I'm not feeling upset but from what I understand, an awful lot of people were/are! Who are they? Do they shower or not? And what about this Naya Rivera person? Is she kind of stinky? How did this whole thing come up anyway? Oh yeah... The View . So do they ever talk about any...

On this Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, what if all protests were peaceful? What if it wasn't assumed that all things are racially motivated? What if everyone tried to work for the common good ?

Your bank might be lying to you. My bank (TCF) was lying to me for years! I have two accounts. One is a checking account and used for paying for things. The other is a savings account used for saving money. For years, numerous bank employees have told me the "best" place for my savings was in a checking account —even though I was not using the checking features. Recently, precipitated by a letter that told of impending reductions in services—unless I paid additional fee s, I found one woman from TCF (customer service via phone) who told me different. She actually tried to find what was best for me and not TCF. So with her recommendations, I went to my local branch to change my accounts. I was met with some serious opposition! The people there did not want to change my accounts and tried to come up with numerous reasons that I should not. None of the reasons actually pertained to my personal situation or needs. I persisted and made the changes. The first monthly stateme...

My wife and I have missed work, lost sleep, paid co-pays and worst of all, my son has been seriously ill and needed to go to the ER. This will be the sixth time this has happened and it always starts with the same people who don't want to take off work themselves and so bring their sick kids to daycare. If your kid is sick, stay home with him.

Good job. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-30786211

Cold Temperatures Snow Horrible Driving Conditions Sick Child Funeral I'll be back soon...

See video to learn how to quit smoking the Minnesota way. All you need to do, is go outside there in the blowing snow and subzero temperatures with the (even more) subzero windchill and have yourself a smoke. Once you're done, you won't want to do it again for a while.

CuTRis' Butt Now Owns Cleveland UnAssociated Press January 8, 2015 Reports out of Cleveland this morning are that CuTRis' Butt now owns that (particular) city in Ohio. CuTRis , who claims the public will believe anything that they read or see on TV, said his butt bought the entire city for $1.85 and a bit of old wire that he found in a parking lot next to Walmart . Speculation is that CuTRis' butt will use the site to build a parking ramp .

The murders of the shootings in Paris yesterday and the atrocities committed daily by ISIS (or whatever they’re called now) and Al-Qaeda are showing that in a large part of the modern world, Islam is still in its infancy . This was the case for Christianity hundreds of years ago with such things as the Spanish Inquisition ; but Christianity has matured and at least a significant portion of Islam has not. In fact, with the beheadings, slavery, torture and murder, it is every bit as backward as it was when it was first invented. So now we live in a world where a certain group of people who have a warped and unrefined mode of thinking, have grabbed a religious notion and attached their own brand of 2000 year old values to it—which includes massive inhumanities inflicted on all who do not prescribe to this outdated religious doctrine. Combine this with the fact that even supposedly modern and mature westerners seem to revel in primitive contests of fighting and brutality . Perhaps h...

CuTRis' Butt Now Owns Canada UnAssociated Press January 7, 2015 Reports out today confirm that CuTRis' butt now owns Canada . Apparently Canada was purchased for $3 (US) and a 5 oz. wedge of mozzarella cheese. CuTRis' butt has not said what it will do with Canada—though rumor is that it wants to close the country. Speculation is that CuTRis' butt wants to sell it for development. CuTRis' butt was unavailable for comment at the time this story was printed.

Right now in the Twin Cities it is -9 degrees Fahrenheit with a -31 wind chill .

Recently, I've heard Republicans blaming President Obama for low gas prices! Hey! Wait a minute! Didn't they bash him for high gas prices not so long ago??? So what about when prices were in-between high and low? Was anyone saying, "Nice job Barack! Prices are at the 'just right' level!" My thought is, that the President (by himself) has little to do with gas/oil prices, though the government (as a whole) may have significant influence. So why do people say these stupid ass things anyway? Well, probably because if you get on TV (or in the media) saying just about anything, people will be dumb enough to believe it. More so, some people will choose to treat it as truth even if it isn't—in order to further their own agenda. This could include the President changing oil prices; or even the idea that white cops shoot black people at an alarming rate. Even though these things are not true , once it is said, some people will hold it as the truth. I hav...

Start with temperatures that are subzero. Then add a small coating of snow. The road chemicals don't work (because of the excessive cold) and then you combine the recipe with the exhaust from hundreds of vehicles. What do you get? You get black ice ! Now I don't like discriminating between white ice or black ice. It's all just ice right? Ice is slippery and cars slide on it. But we must remember that Black Ice Matters! Even if you don’t see it, you must slow down to avoid disaster! Plan on your drive taking twice as long as it normally does! Also make sure to cooperate with any plows, emergency vehicles or police officers who are trying to help! Be safe!

The holidays were (mostly) happy. I did very little online, though I was able to do a little writing and editing. I’m hoping to release a new novel soon and I also have a parody/comedy I just started that’s in the works. Over the last couple of weeks we celebrated my son’s birthday and Christmas and my mother and father in-law’s birthdays. We attended “Winter Fun Day” at the wildlife refuge and we painted our upstairs bathroom. Oh there was more, there was much more—but I just hit the highlights. There was also some sadness. My almost uncle (my aunt’s longtime boyfriend) passed away at the end of the year. His name was Dick; and he always had a smile on his face. Last summer at a family party in the party room at his apartment building, he was giving my son rides on his mobility scooter that he used to get around on. He was a nice guy. While thinking of my other friend Dick who is also a nice guy, I realized that some of the nicest people I know are Dicks! Well, Happy 2015 Everyon...

-11 degrees Fahrenheit

I'm busy right now protesting because too many police officers are being shot to death. Cops lives matter.