I am CuTRis

We went hiking today in the wildlife refuge. The snow is knee deep! We didn't get too far, it was too exhausting!

Yesterday my wife and I spent the day at the Mall of America. We went with our friends Mike and Sue. We toured Underwater Adventures . Then we ate lunch at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company . In case you didn't figure it out, that's me imitating Forest Gump .

For the band Christmas party tonight, we discovered that Dave and I had picked the same "holiday" shirt...

Merry Christmas to my brother Jim, who spent Christmas (and then some) at the airport keeping it safe for humanity.

It has been snowing for two days and is supposed to continue for another day or two. We're pretty good at dealing with it here in Minnesota, so it hasn't prevented us from going to any Christmas parties! Merry Christmas!

This is a peak at Burnsville Parkway. My condo looks out at this view--which is quite nice during the Christmas season. Both sides of the parkway are decorated with lights!

Cutris is looking for the true spirit of Christmas . As "Christmas" (i.e. the various parties/gatherings) has been changed repeatedly this year, I am beginning to feel somewhat "humbug" about it. Of course, at work, we can only refer to Christmas with the words, "Happy Holidays." As I hammered through an uncooperative software upgrade today, all I wanted to do was go get "lost" in the woods for awhile. "'Tis the season..." Remember in the "Charlie Brown Christmas," when Charlie Brown asks if anyone knows what Christmas is all about? Linus does a pretty good job of answering that question. I love that scene.

While there are a lot of great things about Minnesota, there is a history of shameful handling of wildlife that wander into areas populated by humans. One might think we would have more respect for our wild animals, but that is obviously not the case , as large animals (wild or domestic) that enter towns and cities are routinely gunned down with extreme prejudice. Recently, a cougar spotted in the Twin Cities area (see links below) has been in the news with great frequency. News crews are dispatched and trigger happy, public safety officials seem to be drooling to get a shot at this "interloper." In Minnesota's defense, surrounding states seem to be quite adept at killing any last cougar they can get their sights on as well. Back in 2005, I met a trio of brothers in Murdo, South Dakota , at the Rusty Spur . One of them was a rancher, and he claimed that cougars were known to attack his horses. This could certainly be a concern if you were a rancher, but I am somewhat sho...

In my life I've learned a few important things. 1. People usually do the exact opposite of what they need to do to get what they want most. 2. True love is hard to find and is worth making sacrifices for. 3. A moment spent trying to understand the viewpoint of someone you disagree with, is almost always time well spent. 4. Forgiveness is the ultimate gift to everyone, including yourself. 5. Don't let your pride ruin your happiness. 6. Don't hurt the people you love. 7. Recognize that "always being right" can "cost" a lot. KJC

The school district I work in called a snow day! My wife works in a school district further north (away from the storm) and has to go in.

I remember this from when I was a kid! I photographed this old sign in an antique gallery in Redwing, Minnesota.

I'm not sure why you would put restrooms in an elevator, but apparently elevator restrooms do exist. Unless the elevator ride is exceptionally long, I don't understand why restrooms would be necessary. Likewise, I see no advantage to having restrooms move up and down, unless it is a way so that not as many restrooms need to be built. Maybe that's it! If you need a restroom, push the button and one will come up or down (from another floor) if it isn't in use. I'm still not clear as to how the water pipes are incorporated into an elevator, unless they are chemical toilets and need to be emptied periodically. This would likely be done on the lower level.

I've tried unsuccessfully for years to get my family to stop buying Christmas presents. I like getting together with everybody, but the whole commercialized, gift thing makes it stressful! In the case of children, that's different. Kids love Christmas presents! For the rest of us, unless we want to "break the bank" buying nice, expensive gifts, most people don't need that $10 or $20 gift. They can just buy it themselves! I used to give gift cards for dinner at a nice restaurant. Then, I realized that there were potential problems with this as these cards might have time limits, etc. Even more reason to be careful with gift cards, is the number of establishments that are going out-of-business! Buy a card from one of these places, and your recipient may end up with nothing! So last year, I decided to give to charities in the names of my family members. In fact, last year money was donated in my name to charity as well! We started a nice trend I think. So if you want...

One day, Cutris received a call from Santa Claus. Santa asked Cutris to help him find his magic reindeer, Rudolph. Unfortunately, Cutris went the wrong way, and ended up at the mall. Someone called security, and he was given the "big boot." So, he decided to look for Rudolph out in the woods. Suddenly, Cutris realized that he was lost and it was getting dark. So, he used a tree to build himself a shelter. He spent the night in his simple shelter. In the morning, Cutris found Rudolph eating some lichens outside the shelter! Cutris called Santa, and he came and got Rudolph. Then they all lived happily ever after. The End

Were you looking for gossip about Tiger Woods? Sorry! Fooled you! Burn! Ha ha!

The hawk is the messenger from heaven and the eagle flies closest to the creator. They often show up when we need them. They come during ceremonies. They also seem to be abundant during births and deaths. My new nephew is a week old. When we went to see him the morning of his birth, My wife and I saw eight or ten hawks on the drive to drop off his siblings with their dad and then to the hospital. I always notice hawks when I drive, but this quantity was unusual. I sometimes wonder if the renewed interest in spirituality (among some members of society) is due to the increased population of "messenger" birds (since the DDT ban); or are the birds more abundant because of the fact that our higher consciousness sees their value? Recognizing the "magic" sets you ahead of the crowd. We live in houses, cities, etc. that are man-made. We can only experience reality by accepting the natural world. If we choose to accept these things, the world, life and death, all gain new me...

During these times when we are trying to avoid H1N1 and other contagious diseases, it is important to follow simple rules to maintain health and avoid transferring illness to our friends and families. We may need to encourage others to use these guidelines, if they are not familiar with them. As we get together over the holidays, etc., please be conscious of this. We have probably all heard about keeping hands and food preparation clean. There is another very basic way to help prevent spreading germs and viruses. Everyone should use serving utensils when putting food on their plates. The fork or spoon you are eating with should never be used to take food from the communal serving dish. This is why restaurant buffets and salad bars demand that you use serving spoons and a new plate upon each trip. This may seem to be standard for some of us, but it is not for everyone. Please help to encourage everyone to keep our friends and families healthy. Thanks, and have a great holiday season! ...

On Saturday, we hiked along Nine Mile Creek in Bloomington, MN. Here are a few images.

We went to the 8th Annual Red Wing Holiday Stroll this late afternoon/evening. It was quite festive with free chili, music and barrels stoked with burning logs!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cutris Attacked by Mall Bear UnAssociated Press November 24, 2009 You may have heard of Mall Rats, but what about mall bears? Cutris was posing for a picture at a local mall recently, when he was apparently attacked and bitten by a statue bear. Cutris said that the whole thing was "quite a surprise," but he was uninjured--because "mall bears aren't all that dangerous."

Today, it was sunny and 50 degrees (Fahrenheit). It was too nice of a day to pass up. My wife and I went hiking on the state trail parallel to the Bluff Trail in the Long Meadow Lake unit of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. The three Bald Eagles that circled us, didn't wait for pictures. That did not stop me, however, from taking plenty of them. Here are a couple that I'm willing to share. -KJC

Many people suck. Some don’t, but many do. Certain groups of people have a higher likelihood of sucking, such as bosses, owners, politicians, lawyers and commission sales people. This is because they tend to have private agendas that often conflict with that of the rest of the population (who may or may not suck too). It is important to give everyone a chance, even if they come from a group that elevates their personal likelihood of sucking. If you are open-minded when dealing with individuals, you can feel good about yourself —even if later you learn that they do indeed suck. There are levels of sucking. For example, some bosses are incompetent. That sucks, because it makes it harder for everyone to do a good job. Still, that doesn’t mean that they are trying to suck. They may just suck and not know it. In other cases, for example, a boss might actually try to make life miserable for employees. This is a malevolent boss, which is far worse than an incompetent boss. However, it is f...

I Am Cutris is made possible in part by, Rapid Ho, if your ho is too slow, call Rapid Ho! Hellways Superstore, it's just like what Hell must be like! Ghetto Foods, "...like you got it from a guy who sold it out the back of a truck."

Cutris had Previous Run-in with Garbage Frog UnAssociated Press November 13, 2009 This picture obtained by the UnAssociated Press, clearly shows Cutris running like a girl--from the garbage frog that attacked him earlier this week. This photo was carbon dated , and appears to have been taken in early September of this year. This could explain why the garbage frog was so quick to attack. This photo clearly shows Cutris running like a girl from the garbage frog. While unpredictable, garbage frogs often prefer to blend into their surroundings to avoid confrontation. They are, however, predatory, and will try to eat anything they can swallow. " Cutris may have resembled a large cricket," said University of High Tuition , entomologist Bugs Malone. "Or, it may have just been a case of protecting its territory." When asked to comment, Cutris flashed reporters an obscene gesture and ran away.

Cutris Battles Garbage Frog UnAssociated Press November 11, 2009 The UnAssociated Press has obtained photos of Cutris fighting with a giant, garbage frog. The situation apparently got out-of-hand, when Cutris approached the garbage frog, and it suddenly attacked! A bystander apparently snapped these photos before running to safety. Cutris would not comment on the incident, except to say that garbage frogs are "unpredictable," and that both he and the frog were alright after the altercation. Cutris is shown pointing at the garbage frog. Cutris takes on a defensive stance. Cutris uses his fighting skills to protect himself. Click on photos to enlarge.

Today we acknowledge the United States of America Veterans.

I've previously blogged about my experience at Ann Taylor , waiting for my wife while she looks at clothes. Recently, I found myself being led back into this place that is so strange for any heterosexual man. Instantly, we were asked by one of the female employees (Note* I have never seen a man working there--which is further proof that this is no place for men), if "we" needed any help finding something. I answered that I wasn't actually looking for anything. When the next employee (Note* There were about two employees for every one customer) asked if "we" had any questions, I said that I did not. As my wife continued looking, I began to read to her aloud, the "what we believe" sign, that was hanging on the wall. What propaganda/drivel! Then, I went to find the "men's couch," that has been my refuge several times before on these expeditions. It is usually "outfitted" with some kind of magazine (one, maybe two) that would...

For your enjoyment, Cutris has compiled a brief list of news headlines that you are probably never going to see. 1. Young Urban Males Decide to Wear Pants that Fit 2. Man Admits, That as a Child He Molested Priests 3. Hero Cat Saves the Day! 4. Paris Hilton Graduates 5. Cheney Admits Guilt 6. Government Center Condemned to make Room for New Lake 7. Woman to Lead Taliban 8. Phone Company Pays Customers to End Contract Early 9. Al Sharpton Makes Sense 10. Vikings Win Super Bowl!

Saturday we spent some time at the Tamarack Nature Center , in the beautiful, 60 degree Fahrenheit, November weather. The afternoon Sun made for spectacular lighting for photography. I usually don't put my best pictures on my blog (just in case I ever want to publish a photography book), but here is a sample.

Since I first met him, I've been asking my nephew (now age 9) about his car. I'll ask him if I can see his car or his driver's license, and he always reminds me that he is still a kid. I usually seem puzzled by this, and ask how he can drive without a license? Then he tells me he doesn't drive, and then I ask him how he gets to school??? Recently we went through this, and he told me that he rides the bus to school. I exclaimed, "You drive a bus???" He said, "No! I take the bus!" Then I said, "Oh… you shouldn't take the bus if it doesn’t belong to you…" Soon his four-year-old sister got into the conversation. She is a pretty opinionated four-year-old, so she put her hands on her hips and told me, "He doesn't drive the bus, he isn't old enough!" So, I asked her how old a person has to be before they can drive a bus. She thought for a minute, and replied, "You have to be at least ten!" KJC

Your Johnson is out of control. It’s the third time this week! So what should you do? Many men suffer from this embarrassing problem. You’ve tried pills, crèmes and everything in-between! You can’t afford expensive doctors. You’ve even tried restrictive underwear! Now you can find relief! For just 25 cents per application, Coin-operated Johnson Controls is there for you. For only a quarter, you can keep your Johnson in check from now on. Coin-operated Johnson Controls are not for everyone. Side effects include nausea, vomiting, and the possibility of "Detached Johnson Syndrome." Available at fine drug stores everywhere.

An eagle flew over me as I left work Tuesday (just before my wife and I endured something very difficult). I took it as a sign that God had not abandoned us. My Ojibwe brother Joe says that Migizi flies closest to the Creator.

The rain reflects my feelings, Subtle tears falling for a child whose steps will not be heard. I know it is for the best, But I cannot help but to feel sad on this rainy day. I turn toward the future, But my wife and I will never forget the past few days. I love her more than ever. Our lives are changed forever by the child who never was. -Kevin J. Curtis

Here are just a few of my favorite kinds of tape. Invisible Tape, for taping invisible things. Masking Tape, to make masks out of. "Duck" Tape, in case your duck breaks. Mounting Tape, To keep the dog from falling off.

Cutris Becomes Extremely Animated UnAssociated Press October 26, 2009 Cutris became extremely animated today, when he was asked to give a brief history of mounting tape. His talk went on for about five minutes, and was very entertaining. Mounting Tape Cutris becomes animated.

My brother-in-law Kou, graduated with his BS in Digital Arts on Friday. I made this PSA for staying in school that evening. "Be Kou, Stay in Schoo'"

Here is the latest correspondence between me (top in blue), and "Mr. Lawson Jean," Internet scammer "extraordinaire" (below). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Dumb Ass, I can hardly believe how dumb you are. Your dumbness transcends normal dumbness, and transforms it into an innate, ridiculously dumb realm that is usually reserved for cartoon characters. Despite that, I'm going to type some bogus numbers that could resemble a bank account in some really dumb place, such as where you must be from. First Bank of my Butt: 123-UR-S0-Dum-456 I look forward to to this transaction that "is very proctecd with you." Yada yada, buttface, indigo. Insincerely yours, Superman's Grandma -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:32:24 -0700 From: lawsonjean2@yahoo.com Subject: REPLY. To: my email Dear Superman , im very happy to read from you to toda...

This reply from the email scammer came today. My new reply is above it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear brother, Mr. Lawless Genes, Thank you for not reading my email and for supplying me with this bunch of crap about the 100% risky transaction. Rest assured, that I have not told anyone except the FBI and Interpol. I look forward to meeting you face to face, so I can kick you in the gnads, if you have any. Here is the information that you have requested, NAME: SUPERMAN - You must have missed this when you didn't read the previous email. AGE: 116 - But I workout ADDRESS: 1122 Boogey-Boogey Avenue COUNTRY: Krypton - I guess you missed this part too... PROFESSION: Special Agent, in charge of Internet Scams TEL: 555-555-1234 FAX: 555-555-5678 I look forward to closing this deal, blazay, factoid, Nebuchadrezzar. Your friend and partner, Cutris ... I mean "Superman" ---------------------------------------------------------------...

Here's my reply to the latest email scam I got. My answer is above the original. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Friend (who I've never met), I'm "Superman!" I come from a planet called Krypton! I can help you! I was intrigued by your email (that was sent to someone else). I understand that many people in Africa have millions of dollars that they want to share with poor Americans. You probably want my bank information, but I have a better idea. I am in need of a goat. My lawn is covered by leaves from the trees as fall sets in. A goat could eat these leaves and then I wouldn't have to rake! Please send all of your goats to Minnesota, "Attention, Superman." Thanks Mr. Lawson Jean! Cutris -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:23:47 -0700 From: ecobank_ltogo@yahoo.com Subject: URGENT PLEASE To: dotbum@hotmail.com URGENT PLEASE Dear Fr...

We took a short road trip today through Prescott, Wisconsin, Redwing, Minnesota and then stopped by the Watt Munisotaram, Buddhist Temple between Farmington and Hampton, Minnesota. The Wisconsin side of the Mississippi River. Watt Munisotaram Buddhist Temple

In case your M & M's get dirty!

Today I hiked in the west end of the Wilkie Unit in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. Here are a few pictures that I took.