I am CuTRis

CuTRis Resigns as Pope! UnAssociated Press March 7, 2013 Apparently CuTRis has already resigned as Pope --marking only the second time that a Pope has resigned this month!

Plaid Smoke from Sistine Chapel UnAssociated Press March 7, 2013 Plaid colored smoke coming from the Sistine Chapel this morning seems to indicate that CuTRis has been elected as the new Pope! This is the first time an American has been elected to the office. Apparently CuTRis has already taken the Popemobile for a spin!

I work hard to eliminate "Dumb" from educational data. "Dumb" is resilient, however, and it returns almost as soon as you finish. It got me thinking. I used to work for county government, I've observed city government and I have in the past, worked with federal government contractors. There is no shortage of "Dumb" in any of these entities. "Dumb" also has friends, named "waste" and "Redundancy." If we could get rid of "Dumb" and all of its friends, we could probably balance the budget.

Hwy 36

Rodman Denies being in Love with Kim Jong-un UnAssociated Press March 5, 2013 Dennis Rodman is denying allegations that he is in love with North Korean madman, Kim Jong-un. He said he does, however, love the guy. Rodman made the comments today while wearing his new dress.

Dennis Rodman & Kim Jong-Un May Be in Love UnAssociated Press March 4, 2013   This photo seems to corroborate the story that the real reason that Dennis Rodman visited North Korea is because he and crazed-inbred leader, Kim Jong-Un are in love.

North Korea Hosts Ugliest Man Competition UnAssociated Press March 4, 2013 North Korea recently hosted the Ugliest Man on Earth competition , causing speculation that the reclusive country may begin to start acting "more normal."  Finalists for Ugliest Man on Earth Competition

Catch Celebrity Dumbass weeknights at 9:00 PM on Fox! Watch "washed up" celebrities act like "they are somebody" and also act really dumb! It's fun to watch people act dumb--especially if we know who they are! No, seriously... it's not a waste of valuable time! Watch tonight! Please? We can't think of any good shows, so please watch this crap. Thanks!

Popeye to be Blown Down UnAssociated Press March 1, 2013 Shut up! It's not what you think!

I'm wrapping up a business trip and when we all went out to eat last evening, the bill included a forced gratuity of 18%. First off, a gratuity is supposed to be an extra freely given for satisfactory or exceptional service. It has, however, become a way for certain businesses to get their customers to (at least partially) pay their employees. I believe the word gratuity is perhaps no longer appropriate. Maybe it should be called, Your portion of our employees wages .

Chinese Government is in Your Butt UnAssociated Press February 26, 2013 Hackers within the Chinese government have apparently hacked into a secret United States government database that contains the exact circumference of everyone in America's butt. The implications are not fully known at this time, but one high ranking U.S. official said "the situation stinks and it is not likely to get any better." The Chinese government has denied looking up our butts.

The continuing saga of a polarized, two-party system, whose members enjoy bickering back-and-forth more than they do about the welfare of the country and the equally polarized people who live in it. This film has been rated "P" for pathetic and contains scenes of graphic stupidity and pig-headed-ness.

CuTRis Wins Oscar UnAssociated Press February 25, 2013 CuTRis won an Oscar last night for his realiastic portrayal of a man who doesn't care about the Oscars, and who doesn't much care for award shows in general--in "The Life of CuTris" . CuTRis was unavailable for comment and did not pickup his little statue .

... are something I don't care about...

CuTRis To Become Leftenant: Gets Special Music UnAssociated Press February 22, 2013 Rumors that CuTRis is taking a job as a First Leftenant in the 2nd Dragoons has appeared for the third time in the last four minutes. Apparently CuTRis is also expected to begin arriving and departing with Special Music , just like the wrestlers of fake wrestling do. CuTRis has apparently secured the services of a Mariachi Band to follow him around and provide the music whenever he arrives or departs from a room, place or event.

That British Petroleum (BP) PSA where the Operations Manager talks about how great the gulf is after the BP oil spill makes me sick! So I made my own PSA ( click here to view )!

Owl Pellet Owl Eating Dave Story Might be a Hoax UnAssociated Press February 21, 2013 Sources have revealed today, that the shocking story of Dave being devoured whole by a Great Horned Owl and coming out as an “owl pellet,” may have been a hoax. After dissecting the owl pellet , Dave was not found inside. When he learned of the hoax, CuTRis said, “Huh… I assumed it was true since I always told Dave that an owl was going to grab his head if’n he kept wearing that hat!”

CuTRis To “Lock Horns” with Great Horned UnAssociated Press February 21, 2013 Today CuTRis announced that he plans to kick the ass of the owl who ate Dave and stole his rabbit hat. The owl was unavailable for comment—but was last seen driving Dave’s truck.

CuTRis & Owl Comment on Eating of Dave UnAssociated Press February 20, 2013 Today CuTRis condemned the actions of the owl who ate Dave. The owl also spoke out, and has claimed Dave’s property as his own. This angered CuTRis , who apparently threatened to kick the owl’s ass. “No one messes with an owl,” said CuTRis , “but I have been provoked!” The owl reportedly screamed at CuTRis , who flipped the owl "the bird" in retaliation.

This is my friend Dave . He always liked to wear that rabbit hat. Then one day, an owl ate him.

A few news stories I've seen about the "riot" at Minneapolis, South High cited "racial tensions" as the cause. If the parties at odds are Somali and African-American, isn't that like calling a dispute between a Swede and a Norwegian racial?

cuTRis in his natural habitat.

This morning I saw five cars go through one red light at an intersection. This is totally understandable though--since instead of leaving early or getting up earlier, it is much better to risk killing or maiming others because you are in a hurry.

I dreamed I had a motorized Trike last night. You know... one of those 3-wheeled motorcycles. Now I want one for some reason...

Due to the absolute ridiculous garbage that was coming through as "comments," I have unfortunately (once again) limited it to those who register and have an identity. I had hoped that anonymous comments could open "the door" to more conversation, but I've simply allowed someone who likely doesn't have a job, a wife or a girlfriend (my observation is based on the comments being between Midnight and 4:00AM)--to pretend to know what he's talking about. Or perhaps it is an equally pathetic female... as I don't know because the person is only known as "Anonymous."

I need to make a living somehow by being in the woods.

The nasty virus that my baby has been fighting got to my wife and then me. Saturday I slept half the day.

My little boy is still recovering from a nasty virus.

I know a guy who thinks feeding all of the babies/kids with one spoon is good--because it makes their immune systems strong. His family is originally from S.E. Asia--which has a high occurrence of Hepatitis B incidents within the population. I've decided that the next time the issue comes up (and it will if I see him using one spoon to feed multiple kids), I'm going to tell him that he should lick the toilets in public restrooms--because certainly, that would be very good for strengthening his immune system. Bottom-line: People from other countries might be able to tolerate less hygienic conditions than we can in the USA--but people generally don't live as long in those countries.

Everything is frosted with new snow...

I am not an Atheist. I am not affiliated with any "name brand" religion. But I do believe that there is something larger than myself at work in the universe. If you are very religious, the biggest difference between us is that someone has told you what to believe. I have made my own choice.

The International Olympic Committee has announced that Wrestling will be replaced by Angry Birds in the next Olympic Games . Other changes being considered are, Discus to be replaced by tadpole catching, High Jump replaced by Rock-Hammer-Scissors, 100-Meter-Dash replaced by TV Channel Changing, and finally, Boxing to be replaced by Tiddlywinks .

What kind of idiot(s) would remove wrestling from the Olympics ??? It is one of the oldest sports and should be revered in such a forum.

The guy who empties our garbage at the office hates all things liberal and democratic and is a right-wing Republican. He started telling us "liberals" yesterday that the US was giving Egypt "our best, newest fighter planes." I replied that no way was the USA giving Egypt the F-22 Raptors . I said "they're probably F-16 's. We give everybody F-16's." He didn't think so--but three computer clicks verified that the fighter planes are F-16 Fighting Falcons (designed in 1976). To each his own, and I don't think we should be buying weapons for oil tycoons in the middle east, but please... if you are going to spout out so-called facts, at least try to know what you are talking about.

Yesterday on the evening news, while the breaking news was about the former LA police officer wanted for murder--being cornered in the conclusion of a lengthy manhunt, the local news was about some piece-of-crap guy from Oakdale, MN who shot some people he didn't know and killed a nine-year-old boy. Do we need gun control in America? You tell me.

More issues with Allied/Maplewood Garbage Contract. I also found that Allied Waste in Minnesota is owned by Republic Services . My letter to Allied Waste and the Maplewood City Council (and a few media sources). Update 2/15/2013: Jim from Allied contacted me by phone Tuesday, after my letter was emailed. We agreed to talk later in the day. He called me back on schedule and told me that a search of the Inver Grove Heights office did not turn up my check. We agreed that he would clear the charges from my account anyway--because of the continued problems; and that I would pay the new (current) charges. This is a satisfactory resolution. It only took three days, three phonecalls and an email to get it to actually happen. --KJC Background: We moved to Maplewood in August and continued with our previous waste removal company until informed of the Maplewood trash contract. My wife contacted Allied to set us up and was referred to the City of Maplewood. My wife gave our information...

Our baby boy was having so much trouble breathing over the weekend we took him to the ER. He was admitted to Children's Hospital with some undefined virus. After a day and night (which seemed like forever) he was discharged from "the land of sick babies." I'm glad to say, our little boy is getting better. When I think of all he had to endure over the weekend it makes me want to cry.

I didn't get out there yesterday, but I saw the owl again today. That's three days this week!

If something is "unnerving" can something else be "nerving?"

EFS - Don't Call Me Other People is one of a series of cable TV shows that Dave Robinson and I did with our band EFS (The Electric Frog Syrup Band) circa. 1993. Click on the blue title to watch the show. See more episodes on the links to the right!

We keep getting mail sent to us that belongs to the previous owner of our house. We have written "Not at this address: Please Forward" on it and it keeps coming back. In some cases, it comes again with an included "Or Current Resident" --and if we open it (being the current residents) we find that it is business for the previous occupant that should not have anything to do with us . So we cross out the "Current Resident" part and try to send it back. Then, in a day or two it returns again. So, I have decided that I will keep putting it back in the mailbox that I walk past every day. I will do this for as long as I continue to live if necessary. I want to see if the carrier, if not the U.S. Postal Service , will continue this game "forever"...

I think it's the same (Great Horned) owl . It was close to the same place as yesterday.

Me and Larry saw this owl on our lunchtime walk today.

I was just reading some commentary about Alicia Keyes ' version of the USA National Anthem at Super Bowl 47. Now the Star Spangled Banner is not the easiest song to sing and many people have botched it up pretty badly. I actually think Alicia did pretty good; but when she forgot to end it at the end... and kept doing the oooh ahh la la stuff, it was pretty anticlimactic when she finally stopped. That said, wasn't that the musical theme of the evening? "Someone" decided that only African-American, female, hip-hop singers would be performing that night; i.e. Alicia Keyes, Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Hudson. Perhaps some critics have a point that the professional singers have proven to "overdo" our national anthem and that amatures should take over. However... isn't America supposed to embrace differences and promote individuality?

We've been getting an inch or so of snow everyday for several days...

Super Bowl 47 made me remember my brief time living out east--in Providence, RI. Growing up in the Midwest, I never thought much about organized crime--except in the movies. I realized when I was in Rhode Island, however, that the politicians, the municipal services, and such things were inefficient and questionable. The politicians often were indicted and sent to prison--only to be voted back in when they served their time. So when the Baltimore Ravens were destroying the San Francisco 49er's in a Super Bowl that had Las Vegas odds-makers clearly favoring San Francisco to win, I had to wonder if the little "mishap" with the power going off was a bit of manipulation by the Mafia. That is if one believes that organized crime has any influence on gambling.

My nephew Mason kind of "steals the show" in this promo for Be the Match!

If a scallion was into Rap "music," would that make it a rapscallion ? I hope this onion doesn't "go bad..."

This morning in the Twin Cities the temperature is -13 degrees Fahrenheit and still dropping. I wonder what the Woodchuck will tell us tomorrow?

I wanted to top off my gas tank on the car this morning since we're going back in the "deep-freeze." I was holding the pump handle and watching the readout and thinking it should stop since I didn't need that much gas--when suddenly gas started shooting out because the pump wouldn't stop! Now I "get to" smell like gasoline...

My coworker Carl sits on the other side of this window. Carl is extremely fond of over-ripe bananas; so I was taunting him with this one. The post-it notes resulted...

At 3:57 PM yesterday I got news that will change my life.

Since Garbage Haulers and the Mob Have Long History , I found it interesting that Frank Nitti 's last name appears on this dumpster right here in the Twin Cities .

Yesterday I inadvertently deleted a bunch of data from a co'op when deleting records from one of the members. This created a headache and extra time at work. My boss says it's a good lesson in my job. To me, it is something that keeps me away from my wife and son--which is never a good thing. This morning we have ice. Ice on the roads, ice in the parking lots and ice on the sidewalks. I like snow better.

This sign about butts was at Target.

Dave from my band, EFS, put video to a song (we recorded) that I wrote a long time ago. Yes, that's me singing... CLICK HERE to see and hear, Superfly Dragonfly

Here is the sound of snow at the current temperature of -11 degrees Fahrenheit.

Currently the Twin Cities is at -10 degrees Fahrenheit (-23.33 Celsius). The prediction is -17 before we gradually warm up to a high of 0 degrees. Yesterday the high was -2.

Made with 'White Chicken' huh?

We're at -9 degrees Fahrenheit and predicted to go to -10 and then stay below zero all day. Tomorrow morning is supposed to be -14.

It was finally determined today, that the reason the militant Islamic terrorists took Westerners as hostages in Algeria , was because 'someone' called them "a big stupid doo-doo head."

  Did you ever notice the voices for those "tough truck" commercials? I guess if you drive a "tough truck" you have to have a low voice with a built-in sneer ...

I have a large used appliance that I replaced. It still works; but it is old and for some reason in this state, in this country, we have to pay money to do the right thing and recycle. Just for the heck-of-it, I put it on Craig's list and sure enough in about two minutes some guy wanted it for scrap metal! Unfortunately, the guy wanted it immediately, so I had to drop what I was doing and drive home to move it out in the driveway so he could get it. Fine, I lost half an hour and a gallon of gas to save $30 and a trip to the dump. Unfortunately (again), the thing was still in the driveway when I got home! I'll call the guy "Norby," because I think there might be some special circumstances . Norby doesn't drive in traffic, so he won't go out during rush hour. His previous 'project' took extra time so he wasn't going to be able to come until later. Then Norby called back and said his mom was mad at him and wouldn't let him use the van!" ...

Our on-again-off-again bass player, Tony, likes a song I wrote when I was about 13, called, "Glider Bird." Last night we attempted to record it. We haven't recorded for awhile and I remember now that it is 'work.' I generally don't care to play the same song twice in a night of jamming; and with recording, you only play one song all night.

How exciting! Any U.S. soldier who was deployed in a recent overseas war now has even more to look forward to when he or she returns home to the states: a job in retail at Walmart!

My little boy started walking over the weekend!

I have this dream that someday I might be able to make a living by hiking in the woods and writing.

The other day because either the forwarding ran out or because the post office neglected to forward, a letter addressed to the previous owner of our house arrived at our address--with the trash company return address. It got me wondering--since we haven't received a bill and others on our block seemed to know the altered schedule over the holidays... Apparently even though my wife set things up with the city (who bids the trash contract) and the trash company, that information was never used and the trash company was adding late charges while simultaneously receiving the bills back "undeliverable." Things would go more easily if everything didn't have to be done twice...

Funny... I'm 'making' the same amount I was making in 2012, but I'm getting less money...

...in a " one dad open sleigh..."

Soderlin Plumbing & Heating Rainbow Foods Sears Jeff Budzisz, Realtor St. Paul Plumbing & Heating AmeriSpec Allied Waste Arden Hills Tire & Service Center TCF Bank

no...

Click here to view video

Periodically I review a business that I've had dealings with; sometimes it is positive, but often it is not. With the Internet, companies should be careful how they treat their customers--as word can get out. I've found that many companies will try to "make things right" if you contact the right person. Before I write a negative review, I always give the company the opportunity to "make it right," and so avoid being shown in a negative light in my blog. Some will do so, and some will not. I was pricing water heaters on Monday. Ours is old and needs to be replaced. Roto-Rooter came over and gave a free estimate of $1253.74. I've priced water heaters and they run around $400. I thanked the technician and said I would let him know. I saw an ad in the phone book for Soderlin Plumbing and Heating . I was attracted to the ad because it said they had flat rate pricing. Anyone who has done business with one of these contractors may know that the price ...

Click HERE to see Dave's video about the world not ending...

http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/maya-world-end.html

I live in Minnesota , so it is just common sense to have a basic plan of what to do in a snow emergency . For instance, what would you do if you got stuck at work and the snow was too deep or the roads were impassable? A little planning now could prevent disaster! It is good to make sure that you can sleep at your desk (or wherever your workspace is). I suggest practicing sleeping at work at least twice a week to be prepared. There is also the issue of food. If you happened to be stuck at work for a long period of time, it is possible that your food sources (i.e. the crackers in your desk drawer, etc.) could run out. That could spell disaster ! I suggest that you scout out your coworkers ahead of time--to see who may be suitable to eat if things really became desperate . When choosing a coworker to eat, I suggest not picking anyone too old. They will unfortunately, be tough--even though they may be less useful on the job than a younger, stronger coworker. It might seem logical t...

Happy Birthday to my baby boy! Your mommy and daddy love you!

One of my programmer friends put this 'comment' in his last release script as a joke to the other programmers. He didn't create the image; he just copied it in--to provide a little humor. It is clearly commented out to anyone who knows anything about programming. That said, one of his (several) bosses has mistakenly decided that not only did this innocent joke waste time, but it also caused the release to be in error. So, she is now making a big deal out of it and wasting much time and causing much morale damage in the process. So... why do dumb people end up in charge of things???

The band sounded extra good last evening with the bass guitar.

Whether you believe in gun control or if you believe that more people (like armed teachers) having guns is the answer, everyone in America should be embarrassed that we live in a country where children are gunned down in their elementary school. This is completely unacceptable in a country where the general attitude is that we are somehow more civilized than much of the rest of the world. The fact is, to many Americans, having guns without restrictions, is more important than if people (especially people they don't know) get killed. Politicians know that the issue of gun control can easily end their political careers because of the political power and financial backing of the National Rifle Association . If a fraction of that financial power could be used to increase security in our schools, how great would that be? Most schools are "protected" by having only the front door unlocked and a sign that tells visitors that they must sign in at the office! Some may also ha...

Fellow Americans, We cannot continue to lose our children to madmen with guns. We need to know that our schools are safe. We need to find a way to stop the violence. Oh my God! Kindergarten children killed at school! I am very sad right now. Sincerely, Kevin J. Curtis

To anyone who has ideas about shooting unarmed people (especially children) and then fooling yourself into thinking you're somebody special when you kill yourself like a filthy little wuss-ass coward, skip a step and just kill yourself and leave everyone else out of your warped fantasies. Has anyone else had enough of these cowards yet???

Today is 12/12/12.

I miss Andy Rooney and his rants and observations. I thought of him when I was thinking about how no one in Latin America actually speaks Latin . They speak Spanish . Of course, modern people are very concerned about how easily offended everyone is. To call someone "Spanish" would be an insult to anyone whose ancestors were conquered by the Spanish; hundreds of years ago. Being a "dead" language that no one uses except scientists--to categorize and name everything, I suppose it was "safe" to call the people in Spanish speaking places (not in Spain) Latino . Confused? Yeah well it's totally worth it if we can avoid having history offend someone.

If you click here you can "walk in the snow."

I took some photos of the snow during my lunch break today.

The Twin Cities got over a foot of snow this weekend. By (this) Monday morning it was mostly plowed out. One has to be impressed at how quickly we can dig out. Our snow blower (at home) didn't want to start and I hadn't gotten gas for it until Friday. Therefore it couldn't get it started until after I had shoveled the whole driveway by hand once. After I finally got it going, it has worked fine for me twice since.

No...

As we contemplate the passing of one of our elders, I am unfortunately reminded of some horrific events from the past. The treachery of sadistic and jealous cousin(s) from long ago. In an alternate history, my mind paints me a picture of my brother (who has become one of the finest men I know) and I impaled or horrifically disfigured from the pitchfork s that were strategically placed beneath the cushion of hay below the bales we all jumped off of--in the old barn on the farm. Had the younger of them not warned me, we may be dead or maimed right now. Would they think about the treacherous and murderous thing they had done (today)? Bad enough it was when they sabotaged the mini bike trail or when he made pinholes in my new toy so it would deflate later after they left our house. But how could he or they plot to kill us when we were just children playing in a barn? Of course most of the adults refused to believe it at the time; and I would have gladly forgotten it myself--but the mer...

It's not that I don't care about the royals having a baby... ...wait a minute... that's exactly what it is...

Outwardly I was acting all chalant , but inside I was completely unconcerned that my pair-of-pants was actually only one pant .

Uncle Harry has made his last stand. So long and best wishes. I hope 'they' allow wood cutting in heaven!

I've been noticing that the most important trait to getting ahead in the business world, seems to be: being tall! Seriously, checkout who is up on the 'corporate ladder.' I'm 6' 12" when standing on a chair, so I'm just going to take a chair with me from now on and stand on it when I'm at the office or if I go on a job interview...