I am CuTRis

Father of 9-year-old Stowaway UnAssociated Press October 10, 2013 The father of the 9-year-old airplane stowaway may be the Elephant Man . This would logically explain the disguise . Regardless of the boy's parentage, it is time to get him some help. "I am not an animal!"

On Monday I reported to Rainbow Foods that their Roundy's brand Long Grain Brown Rice that I purchased from the Maplewood Rainbow had weevils in it. On Tuesday I again went to the Rainbow website and reported (from the contacts/pull-down menu) a "foreign object" (i.e. weevils) in the rice I bought, and requested a replacement. On Wednesday, I again accessed the customer service contact page and said that I would post the pictures the following day if I still received no response. So now, Thursday, I share with you the photos of the rice and the "little surprises" that came with it. As I said, Rainbow has apparently chosen not to respond.  Weevils in Roundy's Rice  Roundy's Brown Long Grain Rice  Best By March 25, 2014 (Unless Weevils eat it first)

Bastardly really knew how to throw a party. In fact he’d been to party school in the northern part of the south of France. That’s where he met his (now) wife, Jena Sequa. It was half-past-a-monkey’s-ass before the party was finally over. No really! They had a clock with pictures of animals on it—and at 3:30 AM, the minute hand was just past the monkey’s behind. After wiping up urine and vomit for half an hour, Bastardly and Jena finally went to bed. That is, after they evicted the man who was already sleeping in it. By two in the afternoon, Bastardly woke up. He didn’t feel well and barely managed to get to the toilet in time to throw up. Huh… he thought. I wonder why I don’t feel well? What Bastardly hadn’t considered, was that he had ingested enough tequila overnight to have killed a team of mules. But he decided that he must have “caught a bug.” By now Jena had woken up and had somehow walked into the door to the bathroom—not realizing it was closed. Bastardly opened it up to se...

This was my view as I drove to band yesterday.

Thank you for contacting our company regarding your concern. Your concerns are very important to us. We will address your concern in 48 to 72 hours. This of course, is merely a guess due to the fact that we only have one person answering the e-forms regarding concerns. We thought about hiring two, but decided to play it cheap and only hire one. This one individual usually will quit after about three months due to overwork, low pay, complaints or any combination thereof. It is also entirely possible that your concern will be mishandled or even ignored--depending on who is on the job at the time. We may have hired the position to fill a particular demographic or perhaps the manager's daughter needed a job for a while and no one is particularly worried about how well said job gets done. Rest assured, your concern has gone somewhere and something will either be done with it or not. We value your opinion and it will probably either be addressed or ignored in the order in which it was...

The government shutdown might sound like a silly power struggle to many people, but I know better. My son is under two-years-old, and I can tell you that I have been through these types of negotiations and it is not easy. Take for instance if it is bedtime. I want my son to go to bed and he wants to play with toys or read a book. I will begin the negotiations with, "No buddy, it's bedtime. We'll read the book tomorrow." This will likely be met with his response of, "READ BOOK!" This will lead to me trying to catch my little boy as he stalls for time. He may run between his dresser and crib to try to get away from further negotiations--and thus sway the argument in his favor. I will counter by picking him up and physically trying to put him to bed. This may result in crying. It is hard to put a toddler to bed who is intent on having his own way--just as it is hard to convince a politician that he/she should consider the greater good of the peopl...

I found this Cicada on a board near my house. Cicada  

Kevin J. Curtis has announced who will star in the movie version of his novel, Lapse of Humanity . The role of John DeLoss will be played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt . Eden Sher will play Lisa Marx. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson will portray Don Fredericks. Viggo Mortensen will play Lars Swenson; and the role of Mindy Miller will go to Megyn Price .

Due to the current (US) government shutdown , your buttocks has been closed. For the duration of the shutdown, your buttocks will be unavailable for use. Should you need to sit, we recommend standing, lying or kneeling. Sitting will be awkward and probably not possible without having access to your buttocks. Should you find that you need to defecate , you will either need to "hold it" or in emergencies, you may be allowed to vomit . We do not take the closing of your buttocks lightly. In fact it really stinks. The use of your buttocks should be returned to you, shortly after the government is once again, fully funded.

My son, his all-terrain wagon and a beautiful day at Lebanon Hills Regional Park .   Holland Lake   One of many trails  

Now on day two of the Government Shutdown , I want to voice how proud I am of our political leaders for all of their continued bickering--at the cost of our nation and people. Keep up the "good work" you guys!!! I had planned a day of hiking with my son yesterday, and it just so happens that October 1st is the first day of the fiscal year , and the bureaucrats in Washington don't like to agree about things--so the wildlife refuge where I volunteer as a park ranger is shutdown (along with all the other "non-essential" federal government services). I think all of the animals were required to leave as well. Many of them could be seen, forlornly huddled together in a few local parks--waiting for the refuge to reopen. They're still waiting... Fortunately for me, I was able to spend a wonderful day at Lebanon Hills Regional Park instead--so my day was salvaged. I hope our leaders can get their collective $hit together soon.

I saw this Subaru with Wisconsin license plates on the freeway. The back window was either duct tape d on, or the tape was being used for some other Red Green type of reason. Beautiful isn't it?  Click on picture to enlarge: Click 'back' to go back

My Orange Butt is Broadway 's breakout new hit! "Go see My Orange Butt! ," says the Lavender Newsletter . "Visually stunning!" says the Optometrist's Weekly . "Get excited about My Orange Butt !" says Some Guy in a Dress .  "My Orange Butt"

CuTRis Answers Ten Questions about the Woods. Click Here to see video.

CuTRis May Have Put Voodoo Spell on State Computers UnAssociated Press September 24, 2013 The problem with the state of Minnesota's computer system Is now thought to be the work of CuTRis . Apparently CuTRis has put a Voodoo spell on the system. CuTRis was busy sharpening pins and so was unavailable for comment at the time this story went to print.

Assume if you will, that " dumb " ends up winning. People all over are already saying, "my bad!" It is trendy to wear "prison pants" that are worn below the butt. Ignorance, vulgarity and bad manners are seen by many as attributes to strive for. So if "they" finally win out, what will the world be like? I envision turning on the TV to see a commercial like this one... Come to think of it... some commercials are already worse than that.

For $299 it better include a cookie!

No, not my son--me. It's not summer anymore so I had to switch from shorts to long pants. It was a good run though it started late with a colder than normal June.

CuTRis Donates Temple UnAssociated press September 22, 2013 CuTRis has apparently donated his temple to a group of men who were all wearing red robes. Critics say CuTRis did this as a tax dodge --which is what he was trying to accomplish in the first place. When asked to comment about these allegations, CuTRis began speaking in the Ket language ; which no one understood.

CuTRis Released Without Charges UnAssociated Press September 20, 2013 While preparing to plead, "Innocent by reason of Stupidity," in front of a Quart-of-Slaw today, CuTRis was released after all charges were dismissed. Apparently law enforcement officials had not read CuTRis his Miranda Rights in the Ket language , which was the particular language that CuTRis was using that day as part of his religious beliefs .