I am CuTRis

Cutris Finds Meaning of Life UnAssociated Press March 28, 2006 It was reported today, that Cutris has found the true meaning of life. He found it under a piece of bark lying against some moss near a cottonwood tree by the river. He is fiercely guarding the secret, while preparing his next move. Some say he will give it to the world as his legacy. Others claim he is planning to sell the secret on eBay. Whatever he intends to do with the secret, remains a secret.

I am into the beginning of Spring Break. I have seven days away from the detention kids. I've been working on my condo. Yesterday I installed a new light in the bathroom, and I finished removing the last of the wallpaper. Today I will be scrubbing glue off of the walls and prepping them for painting. As I go along, it becomes a bigger job because I see more things that I want to do. The bedroom had a (fairly) fresh coat of white paint in it, and I thought I might be able to live with that room the way it is. Then, yesterday, I decided that I might as well paint that one (blue) too. If I have to go through all the work of removing wallpaper, scrubbing, spackling and sanding in three other rooms and a hallway, how much trouble would it be to paint over the bedroom? I guess I better get to work. Isn't Spring Break great?

I had a nice evening out last night, and I woke up happy. Not even the evil-one, the office Grand Pooba 1 could ruin my morning. Spring Break starts tomorrow! 1 the office Grand Pooba: A (late) middle-aged woman who has an over-zealous need to be bossy and get in everyone’s business.

I hate wallpaper. I have been removing it for a couple of hours each day. Currently I'm using a steamer to get the crap off of the walls. Then, I have to scrub the glue off. Then, it is time to spackle and sand. Eventually, I hope to mask and paint. Fortunately I have a week off for spring break (next week). Wallpaper sucks. Especially old wallpaper from the 1970's. When I'm done though, my condo will look wonderful!

Any questions?

Vikings are UnDaunted By Cutris March 15, 2006 The Minnesota Vikings traded Daunte Culpepper yesterday, for two boxes of Gatorade cups. Clodhopper had been injured last season, and soon after, the Vikings began to win. Despite his injury, losing season and legal troubles off the field, Daunte Clodhopper decided to ask for a raise in his already rather large salary, and he also indicated that he wanted to be traded. He got his wish, and if he passes his physical, he will be playing for the Miami Dolphins. Culpepper was part of a two-part strategy designed under former coach Dennis Green and former owner Red McCombs. They thought that a team, could be made up of just two players; Daunte Culpepper and Randy “I play when I want to” Moss. Randy Moss was also traded due to his idiotic and completely disrespectful nature. Once he was gone though, Clodhopper seemed lost. He kept looking for Moss down the field, and didn’t seem to understand that Randy had been traded. When asked about the tr...

I didn’t have any problem with invading Iraq, simply because Iraqi president/dictator Saddam Hussein ignored/disregarded the peace accords that stopped the first Gulf War. Since the second conflict, the USA has ignored/disregarded the two primary objectives, which were, to remove Saddam Hussein from power, and find Weapons of Mass Destruction. These objectives were met rather quickly (especially since WMD weren’t found). The USA is remarkably good at invading and disabling another country. What no country is good at is occupation. We should have learned that during the Vietnam Conflict. Obviously the lesson was lost. Iraq is on the verge of a civil war. Indeed, they might need to have one in order to stabilize the country and establish a dominant order. Foreign influence is prolonging this from happening. Eventually, the USA will have to leave Iraq. Likely, not much will have been settled at that point, that wasn’t settled long before. In short, we will have accomplished very little o...

I got a call just before I left for work this morning. It seems the rather significant snowstorm caused school to be cancelled. I've already gone to the county offices to homestead my condo. I can get some work done on it today too! It is quite beautiful outside!

Since I just bought a condominium, I’ve been removing wallpaper and working on the place. The other day I decided to sweep my deck. I live on the second floor. As I swept the dirt into a pile, I heard swearing below me and someone shouted, “great now I’ll have more shit down here!” Then they slammed their sliding door shut. I was somewhat stunned, but I finished sweeping the dirt into a dust pan and threw it in my garbage. The people below me, have an “illegal” dog. There aren’t suppose to be dogs in my building, but “someone” barks down there. This same person put up an “annonymous” note about not sweeping your deck down for first level to pickup. I don’t know what occurred before I moved in, but I finally got sick of seeing this note over the mailboxes, so I put a post-it note on it that says, "This is legitimate. Thank you. But be careful you aren't barking up the wrong tree. I for one, use a dust pan."

Today I am buying a condo.

Back on December 2, 1942, in Chicago, man first initiated a self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction, and controlled it. July 16, 1945, the first (manmade) nuclear explosion in history took place in New Mexico, at the Alamogordo Test Range, on the Jornada del Muerto (Journey of Death) desert -in the test named “Trinity.” On August 6 and 9, 1945, the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were destroyed by the United States, with the first atomic bombs ever used in warfare. Since then, many countries have developed nuclear power for both weapons and for more positive purposes, such as to produce electricity. Thankfully, nuclear weapons are not being used –due to their devastating powers. Such weapons do exist in great numbers, however. The fear that someone may once again use nuclear weapons is as great now as it has ever been. With countries such as North Korea and more recently, Iran, now having achieved the technology, the more developed countries who already possess this power, are...

Why do gas prices change so often? One employee of a SuperAmerica told me that corporate tells them to raise the price, and then lower it when the other stations follow. Since then, I have observed that all the SuperAmerica stores raise their prices at the same time, and by the following day, they usually lower them again. I hate companies that play games like that.

When I go into the woods, I watch the wildlife and frequently, the animals/birds are doing things that contradict the books that were written by "experts." I always attribute that to the animals not having read the books.

Just kidding!

You can find the latest review of my book, "He-Who-Goes-First," at Alison Woo's website, http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/fascinating-new-book.html http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/

UnAssociated Press Cutris was recognized today, for his stellar achievement in inventing the most innovative and important invention to date, known to mankind. This invention is thought to have far reaching implications and rivals such other super-inventions, such as, the light bulb, the wheel, the computer chip and beer. No doubt, you will be hearing more about this marvelous invention in the days to come. Cutris could not be reached for comment at the time this story was printed. It is thought that he was busy working in his “inventing shed.”

Yesterday I was watching the news when a story came on that blew me away! Apparently not only is the security of some of the United States’ seaports managed by people from foreign countries, but there is a pending sale for a United Arab Emirates-based company to run six of our ports. There was (of course) a call of racism, and that anyone should be allowed to have the security contract. Perhaps while we’re at it, we should bring in some Al-Qaeda personnel to work as Secret Service agents, to guard the President. Personally, I don’t want anyone who isn’t an American, running the security of anything as important as a seaport. I don’t care if the company is Canadian, we should set a precedent that no foreign entities can run our ports. This is simply a no-brainer as far as I’m concerned. Do we want real security, or should we just hand over the keys to the White House to the highest bidder? Finally, I have this to say… don’t make me run for President, because I will! And when I win, th...

For perhaps the first time ever, my left eye may have better vision than my right eye. This is due to the LASIK enhancement that I underwent on Friday. It got me wondering if this will cause my body/personality to adjust to this new situation. My left eye droops a bit more than the right, and my right eye always had better vision –though both eyes were visually impaired and I needed glasses or contact lenses until my original LASIK treatment a year ago. When I think of my left side/half/hemisphere, I feel that it is more sensitive, neurotic and creative, while my right side has always been clearly superior in strength and agility. While I am left-eyed, my eye surgeon did some basic tests to determine “eyed-ness” on me, and I am truly ambidextrous. I shoot right handed, so I generally aim with the right eye. Now, after having my eyes corrected, it seems that my left eye may actually end up with better vision. This is of course, once the eye fully recovers from the laser surgery. I beg...

Yesterday I had my LASIK enhancement in my left eye. They told me I wouldn’t go completely blind this time, which was true. I was able to watch through the eye they were working on. The corneal flap never heals all the way, though apparently it sticks down pretty tight -as I watched the doctor pull it back up with a tiny forceps. The actual laser treatment took seconds this time. My evening after the procedure was much like before. It felt like I had something in my eye and the tears flowed for several hours. This morning my eyelid is swollen, but my vision is great and my post-op exam went well. Would I do it again? Yes. I would do the initial and the enhancement again if I could have my vision the way it is now. As I said before though, when you are lying on the table with your cornea opened up, it’s good to know you have the best doctor and team. I would still recommend going to the best, not the cheapest.

Tomorrow I go for a LASIK enhancement. I had my original eye surgery a year ago, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but well worth it. I just need the left eye fixed a little bit more. I was apprehensive about the process, and thought about it for a couple of years. I finally decided to do it and a friend told me about his doctor. I went to the same place. It wasn’t cheap, but I would recommend finding the best not the cheapest for something like this. The process is quite interesting; as they open the cornea and then burn (with a laser) the inside layers to the desired shape. Then they put the flap of cornea back down and it eventually heals on its own. It is a bit unnerving when the cornea is opened and you essentially go blind. Eventually you smell burning flesh. This wasn’t something I wanted to do again, but when it’s over I should see quite well out of both eyes. http://www.mneye.com/ps_lasik.aspx