I am CuTRis

For Tyre Nichols to be beaten to death by police earlier this month, nearly three years after George Floyd, shows me that there is the need for police reform. The color of the officers doesn’t seem to have any bearing on these atrocities. For starters, I would change the language. As a writer, I know how powerful words are. I can remember one night after working late, televising a meeting, being pulled over for going 5 MPH over the speed limit. The officer began swearing and yelling obscenities at me after I was found to be completely sober and with no outstanding warrants. I had clearly disappointed this officer, who dropped the “F” bomb numerous times as he cussed me out. I stayed quiet until I was allowed to leave. But what other profession allows someone to unleash obscenities on a member of the public? It was a verbal assault. It’s just another small step from there to a physical assault. Maintaining composure and an appropriate vocabulary is just the start to treating people...

"The Santos Position" UnAssociated Press January 30, 2023 The UnAssociated Press just learned that George Santos invented the Missionary Position . Prior to the 1960's it was originally called, the Santos Position.

Today I watched football, made banana bread, and then I grilled chicken outside in 4 degrees Fahrenheit.

Many years ago I took cuttings from several different Christmas Cacti and put them together. The plant blooms all winter, and I really like this orange version.

On January 20, 1961, newly inaugurated President John F. Kennedy gave the famous quote, "And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." 62 years later, it's a sentiment that we seem to have lost.

He looks familiar.

CuTRis Headlining Superbowl Halftime Show! UnAssociated Press January 18, 2023 CuTRis is now said to be headlining the Superbowl Halftime Show!

Rihanna Accused of Stealing Hairstyle from Whoville UnAssociated Press January 18, 2023 Singer Rihanna , (shown in picture from Superbowl ad) has been accused of stealing her new hairstyle from Whoville . The residents of the ficticious Dr. Seuss town are split as to whether she should be allowed to use it.     " I think it's cool!" said Cindy-Lou Who . "I'm okay if Rihanna uses our hairstyles."     "Appropriation of Who Hair is unacceptable!" shouted Mayor Augustus Maywho . So far, Rihanna has not commented on the issue.

When the battle of often misdirected political correctness, meets fearmongering, the results aren't pretty. One side incites racial and political unrest, and the other points at crime and says we need more guns to protect ourselves. The division keeps on widening. People aren't interested in creative solutions to fix problems. They are interested in being right. They don't want to discuss issues and compromise; they want it their way. They don't want others to succeed, they want to prevent the opposition from gaining power. Society has spoken, and politics has answered. And now, we're stuck, and nobody wants to see the middle ground. United States politics is interesting in so many ways. It's also quite dysfunctional. Being I'm a political moderate, people often become upset with me. I've come to the conclusion that oftentimes they do not know how else to react. Even if I dislike the same party that they dislike, the fact that I don't like the part...

I must admit to being fascinated by Christian Apocryphal writings. They often ring true to me. What is it that those who rejected these texts found so unnerving? As I was immersed in the traditions of a male dominated culture a lot this past year, I can imagine that sentiments such as these could be difficult for those who believe one gender should be subservient. -KJC From “The Life of Saint Issa,” Chapter XII, Verses 8-21 8 At this juncture, an old woman who had approached the group, the better to hear Issa, was pushed aside by one of the spies, who placed himself before her. 9 Then Issa held forth: "It is not meet that a son should set aside his mother, taking her place. Whosoever respecteth not his mother, the most sacred being after his God, is unworthy of the name of son. 10 "Listen, then, to what I say unto you: Respect woman, for she is the mother of the universe, and all the truth of divine creation lies in her. 11 "She is the basis of all that is good an...

Classified Documents Found in CuTRis' Shed UnAssociated Press January 11, 2023 Today the House Oversight Committee, announced that it is investigating classified documents found inside of CuTRis' inventing shed. CuTRis denies any knowlege of the documents, and says it is just a smear campaign launched by both conservatives and liberals--to prevent a possible presidential run in 2024.

I went to the store after work to pick up a rotisserie chicken. I saw an eagle on the way there! When I was in the store I saw a man who looked just like Mitch McConnell. While I was in the store they played "Devil with a Blue Dress," "Free Fallen'," and "Hollywood Nights." After I left, I looked at the clock in my car and it said 4:20 p.m. I knew this must be a "sign!" But, it wasn't.

The 2-party political system in the U.S. is broken. Eleven failed votes for Speaker of the House, and that's just because one party can't agree with itself! Sometimes I almost think that I could be a liberal. But then, I also think that people should work and pay for their own stuff. And I think that all lives matter. And I think that black lives matter even when there isn't a police officer involved. Sometimes I think I could be a conservative. But then, I also think people don't need guns made for war. And I think people should be allowed to make personal decisions rather than have them become criminals for advocating for their own health and family issues. So the reality is, I'm probably overqualified.

CuTRis Voted in as House Speaker UnAssociated Press January 5, 2023 It was reported that CuTRis was voted in as Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives today. When asked if he was going to accept the position, CuTRis replied, "probably not, I'm kind of busy."

Trump says it's not snowing. He also says all the snow proves there's no global warming.

More from George Santos UnAssociated Press January 4, 2023 Today, Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives, from New York's 3rd District, George Santos , revealed that he has squid ancestry on his mother's side, and that he built Taj Mahal in 1972, using Play-doh .

Sometimes I dream about how efficient and streamline the world would be if people stopped worrying about dumb stuff.