I am CuTRis

Get this... Createspace (where I make my paperback books) is an Amazon company. But somehow, Amazon is selling the book(s) cheaper than Createspace is. If people buy through Amazon (and why shouldn't they?), I get next-to-nothing for a royalty--where if they buy it from Createspace (and pay more), I get much more. I believe the "machine" is designed to make money. Unfortunately it is also designed so that I (the author) don't make any. Thank you Amazon for selling my books. Thanks a lot Amazon, for making sure I don't make any money from book sales. Just an FYI -- between fees, minimum amounts and creative pricing/royalty policies, I have yet to be paid for any of my book sales. But to be fair, if I ever sell millions of copies, some of that money will eventually trickle down to me! It's a good thing that I'm not in it for the money! -KJC

Grayson's Adventure (also on Amazon) is on track to outsell all my other books! I have plans to write more children's stories in the future.

CuTRis Tops Miley in Bizarre AMA Performance UnAssociated Press November 25, 2013 CuTRis Sings, "Fixing Sock" CuTRis has topped Miley Cyrus for bizarre perfomances at the American Music Awards . CuTRis sang his hit, "Fixing Sock" while a giant animated dog was behind him.   Miley Cyrus Sings, "Wrecking Ball"

I liked the show when I was a kid and I still do now--but there is something I don't understand. When was Gilligan ever a "mighty sailing man?"

By Kevin J. Curtis Synopsis Kevin, Larry and Dave are all working at their computers; miles away from each other. Each one is getting hungrier as the morning goes on! Luckily, they have snack s in their desk drawers! In a fight to the life, each one must compete against their own hunger to survive! Yes, it doesn't get any more exciting than this! Watch as Larry downs a handful of Craisins ! See Kevin eat several Triscuits ! Watch as Dave ... where is Dave? Huh? Oh... OK... I guess Dave went out for a smoke... The Hungry Games will have you on the edge of your seat!    

I can't deny the popularity of The Hunger Games , but then I don't understand why people like vampire stories or Rap music either. But seriously... if there really was a Hunger Games contest, what would the winner really look like?  Not Realistic   More Likely Has anyone made a spoof of the Hunger Games ?

By Kevin J. Curtis Fuctor Ramirez Arguayo Johnson was a happy man with no maladjustments—except for his insane, irrational fear of butterflies. The fear developed when Fuctor was a mere child; after his cousin Hector was killed by a rabid butterfly on the fourth of July. It was a gruesome scene. There were ninety-seven butterfly fang marks in Hector’s body when they found him. Married to his sister’s cousin at the age of seventeen, Fuctor became a father by the time he was sixteen years old. After people had been telling him that he should become a doctor for the last twenty years, at the age of nineteen, Fuctor ran away with the circus to become a chicken tamer. That was when disaster struck. Fuctor fell into the company of renowned, master chicken wranglers, Kent, David and Tommy. The three were known for their bravery around farm animals; and they abhorred the use of firearms. Egged on by the trio before he was ready to perform, Fuctor was badly gored by a wild chicken befo...

As it gets darker for more of the day I have noticed black forms--barely distinguishable running across the roadways. Pedestrian s are literally risking their lives by running in front of moving vehicles. A significant number of people are killed in these accidents each year--which could be avoided if more care was taken. Yesterday I returned from the grocery store as it was growing dark when five people ran across a busy intersection in front of my car and lots of other traffic behind me. We in the cars had the green light and had been waiting to go. Now, a mass of traffic nearly bumped together and inched forward as more and more stupid people ran across the road to board a bus on the other side. It would be unbelievable--except I know how ridiculously dumb some people can be sometimes.

 Click picture to enlarge - click "back" to go back. https://www.createspace.com/4526504 Also on Amazon

George Zimmerman is in trouble for pointing a gun at someone... AGAIN! NOW ... he is not supposed to have guns. Wow! Did it take a scientist to finally figure this out? Some people shouldn't be allowed to have guns because they might use them when they lose their trigger happy tempers!!!

Yes, CuTRis wins again!

Grayson's Adventure! is a story that I wrote for my son. If you have a toddler who likes books, you may want to take a look at this book that is just in time for Christmas! Click on the title to see more. While looking for something to do, Grayson shrinks down to the size of an ant! To get home he needs to count to ten and recite the alphabet!

In case your wood is too slow...

I'm working on a children's book for my son for a Chistmas present. It will be available soon for $5.50 in paperback.

Roman Yogurt Defeats Greek Yogurt UnAssociated Press November 14, 2013 In a violent taste test today, Roman Yogurt has defeated Greek Yogurt in an all-out battle of the taste bud s. Just how this will affect yogurt snobs around the globe is yet unknown. The UnAssociated Press asked Yogurt from Star Wars for a comment on the battle and he said, "Dumb you are for thinking my name is Yogurt!"

If you do an Internet search for, "the guy who ruined the Doobie Brothers ," you will find information about Michael McDonald . Sorry Mike, but it is true...

Borg Making Cars Now UnAssociated Press November 11, 2013 Most people may know about the Borg and the giant spaceships they use called Borg Cube s, but did you know they now produce cars?  The UnAssociated Press has obtained this photo of the new Borg Cube Car !  

Isn't it ironic that a guy named, "Incognito" is creating so much attention for harassment ? From what I understand, it is hard to be Incognito in the NFL right now ...

Pigs Seen Flying Over Frozen Hell UnAssociated Press November 8, 2013 The UnAssociated Press has learned that pigs were seen flying over a frozen Hell this morning! In other news, the Vikings won their game against the Washington Red Skins !

CuTRis got really Hungary, So he used a Ukraine to lift a giant Canada beans. Because he had no can opener, he dropped the can from the Ukraine and it bounced to the Netherlands. It rolled into the ocean and washed up on England. A car driving on the left side of the road swerved--it's horn sounding "Aruba!" CuTRis was really hungry so he ate some Chile. Frustrated, he threw an Estonia into the ocean and thought about the chocolate Malta he had yesterday with that Turkey sandwich. He got himself a glass of water with Iceland. He Kuwait until dinner!

Homemade Larry Trap Trapping Larry can be an enjoyable hobby for people of all ages! Here is a simple and humane trap that I designed to catch my former coworker Larry. By using a recycling bucket balanced on a pen, I've attached a string to the pen so I can pull the pen away and drop the bucket on Larry when he goes to get the Craisins . If you have lots of Craisins, you can keep letting Larry go after you catch him and do this everyday!

 CuTRis Discovers Ancient Artifacts UnAssociated Press November 5, 2013  Renowned explorer, CuTRis has discovered some amazing ancient artifacts . Apparently CuTRis found these artifacts along some railroad tracks . The full implications of this new discovery are not yet known--though CuTRis said he believes it will be historic!  CuTRis believes this to be a body ornament of some kind--possibly a nose piercing.      CuTRis says this device was likely used by hunters and attached to prey to slow it down.

To all Disc Jockey's and radio stations, I like nothing more than to hear some dumbass talk incessantly about nothing even remotely important during both the beginnings and endings of songs. It is not at all annoying when you do that--so keep up the good work. Thanks, Kevin

CuTRis Injured Before Game: Unable To Play UnAssociated Press November 4, 2013 Star quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings , CuTRis , was injured prior to the game on Sunday with the Dallas Cowboys. Apparently as CuTRis was "suiting up," he was accidentally trodden on by 343 lb. teammate, Phil Loadholt . CuTRis was unable to stand under his own power for seven hours--and by then the game was over and the Vikings had already lost. Currently the team has no plan to sign CuTRis for another game--citing " durability " as the primary reason.

It seems that much lip service is given to how the different cultures don't agree on many things, so I wanted to point out that sometimes they do! Some of our newer immigrants and minority groups may have different customs, religious beliefs, etc., but after giving out candy for Halloween last evening, I can see that there seems to be an agreement that ringing someone's doorbell (3 or 7 times) and receiving free candy is agreed on by nearly everyone! Some of the people were older teens and perhaps even adults--many without costumes! Yet all of them were happy to come to my house and ask for candy. Halloween certainly has a way of bringing us all together! In fact, some of the older teens enjoyed the experience so much that they would shift position and then complain that they had not yet received any candy; when of course they had. So trick-or-treating isn't just for the little kids as I once thought. It is for grown-up or nearly grown-up people too! I will have to...

CuTRis Criticized for being Critical UnAssociated Press November 1, 2013 CuTRis was criticized today, for being critical, by a critically acclaimed critic. When asked about it, CuTRis said that "no one likes to receive criticism, but sometimes it is necessary--especially if it is over something critical." No one knew what this meant, so CuTRis wrote a critique for the UnAssociated Press--calling them a bunch of "critical ass-wipes." This in turn led to CuTRis being criticized, for being critical--by yet another critically acclaimed critic.