I am CuTRis

Kim Jong-il Claims Missile Test is to Return Lost Wallet UnAssociated Press May 29, 2009 North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-il is claiming that his country's latest long-range missile test, was simply to see if this would be a good way to return the lost wallet of an unnamed South Korean official. Kim Jong-il claims that there is no malice in the missile tests or nuclear bomb tests his country has been involved in. Jong-il also said that if provoked, North Korea would "blow everyone to hell." Then he said he wished everyone would just leave him alone!

Cutris Complains about Squirrel Feeding UnAssociated Press May 29, 2009 Cutris issued this statement today regarding the feeding of space squirrels by neighbors on the Food Planet . The neighbors here are turning the space squirrels into "little beggars." They refer to them as "wildlife," but clearly these nuisance animals are not wild and tend to feed out of bird feeders and garbage cans as well as numerous handouts from "do-gooders." It is this feeding that has allowed the population to get so out-of-control. I'm left with one alternative. Then, I will return to Earth--since I miss my wife and have been away too long. My project to grow zero calorie vegetables in zero gravity to produce unique cuisine has failed. Space Neighbors Remedy for overpopulation of Space Squirrels

Cutris meets his Nemesis UnAssociated Press May 28, 2009 Cutris was apparently attempting to grow zero calorie vegetables in the zero gravity of the Food Planet , when he met his nemesis, "Ass-tro Squirrel!" Ass-tro Squirrel has dug up, chewed off and destroyed Cutris' space garden! Just what Cutris plans to do now is unknown. Cutris Ass-tro Squirrel

Cutris Fights Giant Cockroach UnAssociated Press May 28, 2009 It seems that Cutris’ trip to the Food Planet has turned into a dangerous one. This image from a Food Planet security camera shows Cutris locked in mortal combat with a giant cockroach. The final image (too graphic to show) shows the cockroach imploding, as Cutris peels back its exoskeleton.

Cutris Cooks in Space UnAssociated Press May 27, 2009 Cutris has beamed this image back to Earth. It appears to be a plate of food that he has prepared in zero gravity. More information is available in the book Zero Gravity Cooking with Cutris! Cutris was not available for interview at the time of this story.

Cutris Thought to be on Food Planet UnAssociated Press May 26, 2009 Cutris is thought to be back in outer space, according to UnAssociated Press sources. It is thought that Cutris may have built a new flying saucer, like the one he found and used to travel to the moon. Since he is interested in cooking and eating, Cutris may have gone to the Food Planet . His last trip into outer space left him hungry, and Cutris will likely journey to a more "satisfying" location this time. Photo of the Food Planet taken by the Hubble Telescope .

Triceratops was a large, horned, plant eater of the Cretaceous Period. Triceratops had a single, short nasal horn and long horns above its eyes. Many specimens have damaged bones—perhaps from combat with rivals or predators. Tyrannosaurus rex was the largest known meat eating dinosaur. At more than 37 feet (12 meters) long, it was almost as tall as a modern day giraffe. Massive and powerful, the Tyrannosaurus rex had forward facing eyes and a heavy tail for counterbalance. Stephanopoulos is found in Washington DC, where it is a hunter of politics. An intelligent dinosaur, it characteristically leans slightly toward the left while stalking its prey.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but they're called June Bugs. So don't they know that it isn't June yet? They are hanging around our back steps because they like the light. Another thing... if they like the light so much, why don't they come out in the daytime?

I remember way back when my brother made a drivable car from two old junk cars. He had a bumper sticker on the back that was altered slightly, so it read "Escape Wisconsin." At that time, Wisconsin had a lower age drinking age than Minnesota, and the highway patrol and police scoured the border, looking for young Minnesotans who had had too much to drink before returning home. Since then, I've seen another "oddity" or two involving Wisconsin (such as their allowing bear hunting with dogs) that makes this bumper sticker appropriate. Of course, the real slogan is, Escape To Wisconsin, but that is what made, and makes the joke funny. On my way to and from work each day, I've noticed that there is a mass exodus from Wisconsin. About half the cars I see on the short stretch of East 94 that I take between downtown St. Paul and White Bear Avenue, have Wisconsin license plates. Now I realize that it could be, that some Minnesota residents have cars registered in ...

We went to see two movies this week. The first was Start Trek . I grew up watching the original series, and I thought this was a great movie! The characters were all there, and James T. Kirk was as reckless as ever. In this movie, he wasn't always the victor in the fights he got into--which made him more believable in my opinion. His lack of discipline wouldn't likely get him far in peacetime. Fortunately for him they were at war. The second movie was Angels & Demons . This movie was painful to watch, as it became so long, drawn out and predictable. Tom Hanks' character figured out all of the clues at the last minute and had to convince reluctant Vatican police to help him get to the next one. Director Ron Howard should be forced to watch this movie for six months, non-stop--since it seemed like it took that long for this movie to finally get over with.

Cutris spotted at Great Wall of China May 18, 2009 UnAssociated Press Cutris was spotted at the Great Wall of China on Saturday. He was unavailable for comment, and his reason for being there is unknown at this time. Speculation is that Cutris was in China to buy some rice noodles for a casserole he is making.

Cycle 2, Blue Planet Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting It has been 29 zenagrenbills since I last explored the Blue Planet. I have been spending some time in the studio on Tolopious, in the Bindir section of the home world. I have been composing mathematical auditory vibrations for my new “Remoflactions” album. I actually got the idea while studying the Blue Planet. I have yet to find any remoflactions of intelligent life. Patussi only knows why I am drawn back to this lowly planet. While I see some similarities between the bipedal creatures that live here, and the Pilmorai of Vindis 8, the Pilmorai are in reality, far more sophisticated and interesting study subjects. Still, I have an idea that more exploration of the Blue Planet might reveal something important. As fate would have it, I materialized in the midst of a group of primitive, young bipedals, who expressed what could only be referred to as “threatening” behavior. They wore ill-fitting outer coverings. The lower half ha...

UnAssociated Press Photo

Usually I could care less about pageants and "reality TV," but this controversy about Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is worthy of a quick note. First off, what is a "semi-nude" photo? Have you seen what people wear these days? A lot of people are walking around "semi-nude." Second, people can have opinions (i.e. like being against same-sex marriage), and it is their right--even if you don't agree. Freedom of speech is protected by the first amendment. It's time for some people to "grow up" and stop trying to make the world conform to their narrow ideas. You can't get everyone who disagrees with you fired! "nuff said.

On Saturday we hiked at Richardson Nature Center and Hyland Park Reserve. On Sunday we hiked at Black Dog Preserve . Here are a few photos. Osprey (Nest on Platform) American Goldfinch Bluebird Marsh Marigold Canada Geese Muskrat Rose-breasted Grosbeak Blue-winged Teal

Remember Popeye the Sailor Man ? After eating a can of spinach, he would suddenly become strong! Of course, it was probably a way to try to get kids to eat spinach, which while excellent fresh, leaves a "little to be desired" from the can. Yet I have found a similarity between Popeye's spinach, and coffee! Last night my second job doing live, government television kept me out kind of late. I was more tired than usual this morning, but after an extra dose of coffee (i.e. two cups instead of one), I seem to have found additional energy! Somehow I've never found the same reaction from spinach... Of course, tonight I will be extra tired and falling asleep early (especially if I am watching TV). It seems that the stimulating effects of coffee and spinach can't last forever.

Unfortunately if Oprah said it was good to eat broken glass (to clean out your insides) a lot of people would be in the emergency room.

Cutris May or May Not Have "Seen Some Things" UnAssociated Press May 4, 2009 The UnAssociated Press has obtained a short video clip that may or may not be of Cutris , claiming that he's "seen some things." Whether or not the unidentifiable figure in the video is actually Cutris , or whether or not he has actually "seen some things," is not known for sure. It could just be a spoof on a movie or something.

My wife and I did a lot of hiking this weekend. We went to the Mendota area (near Fort Snelling ), where the Minnesota and Mississippi rivers converge. This was the center of the world to the native people . We also went to Wood Lake Nature Center and Legion Lake in Richfield. Here are a few pictures. Bluebird Great Blue Heron At the Center of the Earth Mississippi River White-tail at Fort Snelling Turtles Red-winged Blackbird Cooper's Hawk Common Egret

Remember the old, "Happy Anniversary" song on the Flintstones? Tomorrow, my wife and I will celebrate one year of marriage. I'm happy to report that I am still head-over-heels in love with her. She doesn't like her picture or name on the WWW, so you won't see or hear too much about her on my blog. She does read it though, and I hope she knows how I feel about her. Happy Anniversary! K.