I am CuTRis

This morning we are experiencing snow in the Twin Cities . Try as they might, the snowplow s can't keep up with the amount of snow falling. Still, since this is Minnesota, we are all heading off to work and school as usual. Traffic is slow, there are accidents but we do this every winter. I was sorry to hear about what happened in Atlanta when they got two inches of snow earlier this week. On the news there was a man who had been stuck in traffic saying, "someone should pay for this!" I was a little confused because it is the weather and no one controls that! The question now, is could this happen in other cities? Thinking about where I live, two inches of snow is nothing. Our cars in Minnesota will drive right through two inches of snow. What kind of cars do they have in Atlanta ? So if the cars are similar, then is it a matter of driving skills? Likely people in Atlanta are unaccustomed to driving in snow and ice. It is all in what you are used to. Here in Minn...

When I started I am CuTRis , 8 years, 7 months and 4 days ago, I hoped to showcase my writing to promote my first novel--and also to have a place to put my thoughts, opinions, humor and later, photography. Little did I know that it would continue without interruption for so long. The school district I worked at during many of those middle years, tried to shut me down as best as they could--due to paranoia that I might leak sensitive inappropriate goings on therein. The idea of Freedom of Speech is not only frightening to authoritarian government s, but to some employers as well. It was a good lesson for me, however, as I simply made sure that my ideas were no longer logged with a timestamp that corresponded to work hours. Between that and not actually naming the people I talk about (except for public figures), kept me blogging and also employed. If you follow my blog, you may have noticed that I don't have advertising on it. I have thus far, maintained sole control over my con...

It's only -3 degrees Fahrenheit this morning!

With the temperature once again at -15 degrees Fahrenheit (-26 Celsius), the roads are very slippery. Yesterday morning was marked by an abundance of Black Ice , and this morning may have been even worse. Normally I don't discriminate between white ice or black ice or other shades of ice--but this morning the roads are shiny with a thin layer of black ice and cars are (like yesterday) spinning out-of-control and going off the road into the ditch. I might add that the ditches are pretty deep with snow right now too. If you are driving this morning, take it slow or the black ice will surprise you.

I shot this video yesterday.

It is currently -15F in the Twin Cities with a -38 F windchill.

CuTRis Wins Another Grammy UnAssociated Press January 27, 2014 With only 996 1 / 2 televised award shows per year, it is quite surprising that CuTRis has once again, won a Grammy Award for a song that had (formerly) appeared on his brother-in-law's Facebook page. Apparently CuTRis did not even know the video existed, but he said it was entirely possible and then he donated the Grammy trophy to an unnamed charity--because he said he "already has too much worthless knick knack crap," and doesn't want more clutter.

The word of a Liar Is like Acid That leaves Relationships Disfigured and Bloody -Kevin J. Curtis

My son is having fun with our pet Midas fish .

  A blue fuzzy monster who likes cookies; who is silly and has a funny voice. Why would kids like that?

The temperature in St. Paul is currently -15 Fahrenheit (-26.11 Celsius) and the windchill is -36.

The stupid and immature rant by the Seahawks, Richard Sherman is part of a larger problem. I see examples of this behavior frequently from certain demographic groups--that can't be named in a politically correct context. I saw it when I worked in social services, in schools, in people walking in my neighborhood. There is a huge issue with people--including adults, acting uncivilized, violently and stupidly. We like to expect more from athletes but they are part of the overall population. Just the other day I called 9-1-1 because some of this kind of behavior erupted into a fight outside of a store as I was leaving. As for Richard Sherman, he now says the rant was immature and he probably shouldn't have done that. I say if you remove the word "probably" , that his statements are probably true. I give him credit for making a great play. Too bad he soiled it afterward. -KJC

We are with my little boy at the hospital emergency room. His cold has caused breathing stress.

The cold I have, that started just before Christmas is now one month old!

Click to hear "Say Something" by A Great Big World .

Over the years I have come to realize that my baldness causes insecurity; for others. Just yesterday, the guy who empties the waste baskets made a (another of several actually) comment that I was going to need to 'cover my head' when I go outside because it is cold. I must admit, I do wear a hat. I also wore a hat before I shaved my head. With his previous comments directed at my scalp, I gather this guy has noticed that my head is bald. Likewise, I have a couple of cousins who if I have not seen them for a long time, like to greet me with 'hey baldy!' There have been some friends (or even strangers) who have done that too. Frequently, the perpetrator of the comments is 'a bit thin' himself. Out of all of this I have come to realize that for whatever reason, my baldness causes insecurity--though not for me. Why it is the focal point of certain individuals is anyone's guess. Is that all they could come up with? It certainly is sad if that is the case. I...

I took this photo through my clementine peel.

We need someone tall with good hair to be in charge. Talent and intelligence are nothing in a leader; without height and hair! Hmmm... who fits that description?

Oh I see now! It's a "Data Warehouse!" Well that's different from a "Data Whorehouse!"

CuTRis Apologizes For Traffic Jam Unassociated Press January 15, 2014 In his first annual State of the Blog Address, CuTRis apologized for a traffic jam in Bloomington near Dave 's house last weekend--that was allegedly in protest for Dave calling CuTRis a puss. This latest scandal was allegedly caused by Pete when he supposedly climbed to the top of the Mall of America and shouted obscenities at passing motorists. In his speech, CuTRis pointed out that CuTRis Staffer , Pete, has enough trouble climbing the stairs, and would not make it to the top of the Mall of America. He also pointed out that Dave calls him a puss at least three times per month, so this "whole thing is just ridiculous."

Do you spend most of your life online? Are your friends all from Facebook and chatrooms? Are you unemployed? Do you not want to work? Do you wait until a job has been posted for two weeks before you finally apply for it? Do you see yourself as an "artist" because you have no other useful occupation? Are you way over 18? Are you over 30? 40? Does someone else pay your bills? Do you have grand ideas that have taken the place of work ethic and ambition? Is your world a fantasy? Do you still exhibit behavior that one would expect from a teenager? Have you never been out on your own? Do you blame other people's problems for your lack of drive to create a life for yourself? Well you might be a Facebook Loser! Not to worry, if you have found another way (maybe you play video games or use chatrooms) to waste your life, you are just as great! So avoid doing any work! Why be productive? Let someone else shovel the snow or mow the lawn! Live life as a parasite! Just go ...

I already shoveled twice this morning!

CuTRis Wins Golden Globe! UnAssociated Press January 13, 2014 CuTRis won a Golden Globe last night for his portrayal of, "The Dude" in the dramatic, comedy, action thriller, "The Dude from East Dude Street." Critics raved that CuTRis actually convinced them that he was a dude who lived on a street; in a city with other people and trees and stuff. "In the second scene, halfway through the third part, when he says, 'I'm just a dude; dude,' that was when he really showed his stuff," said critic, Melvin Skid. "I felt like I was another dude who was right there with the other dudes!" True to form, CuTRis thanked all the dudes who supported him. He also thanked his butt for supporting him on the chair "during this long and boring award show."

People sometimes accused him of being long-sighted, but he couldn't help wondering if two guys named 'Leif' were in the same room, would they be Leaves ; or maybe Leives ? If there were a number of Portuguese people gathered together, would that be a gaggle of Portuguese? Can you have an 'off-going' thing? These were important questions!

I just spent half an hour figuring out that IE 11 loaded with the updates on my laptop and then figuring out how to uninstall it—since they hide the files. IE 10 works in compatibility mode with our stuff. IE 11 has ‘built in’ compatibility that doesn’t work. That’s like having a butt that forgot how to fart!

I went to the deli the other day to buy some chicken to bring home for dinner. While waiting, the guy in front of me was commenting to the deli worker about the cold weather we had been having. It soon turned into one of those long-winded bragging sessions that went something like this. "I lived in Alaska for a while, so this is child's play for me. (Sniff) They dropped us into chest deep snow from a huey and it was -70 degrees. Then I had to live in a tent for two weeks. I almost died." The clerk was trying to be impressed and I wondered if the guy was going to look back at me (as I waited in line to be served during his long story) to see if I was impressed too. He didn't, but if he had I would have told him, "That's pretty impressive; but my dad says that when he was a kid he used to walk ten miles to school through three feet of snow, against the wind, and it was uphill both ways!"

My son is two-years-old, but he has been in charge of his own shoes for quite some time now. Mostly this means that he puts them away by himself after taking them off. Yesterday he came in with his mom and decided that his shoes should go next to daddy's...

Charges Against CuTRis Dropped UnAssociated Press January 9, 2014 Charges against CuTRis were dropped today, after he explained to a short, circuit judge , that the temptation was just too great to hit the man who was trying to steal his wife's car as it warmed up in the garage. The victim/alleged thief said he was tempted by the running car and could not help himself from going into the garage to steal it. CuTRis likewise explained that he was also victimized by the victim/thief because he was tempted to hit the guy for trying to take his wife's car. Citing extreme confusion, the judge moved to drop all charges and go get some coffee .

CuTRis Charged with Assault UnAssociated Press January 9, 2014 CuTRis was charged with assault this morning for allegedly hitting an alleged car thief who was allegedly stealing CuTRis' wife's car while it was warming up inside the open garage of the CuTRis private residence.

CuTRis Arrested for Hitting Car Thief UnAssociated Press January 9, 2014 CuTRis was arrested last evening for allegedly hitting an alleged car thief who was allegedly stealing CuTRis' wife's car while it was warming up inside the open garage of the CuTRis private residence.

I don't spend a lot of time warming up my car, but I do drive slowly when I first take off when it is cold. While talking about warming up my wife's car--since she hadn't driven it for two days when it was very cold, I was reminded that in most cities, it is illegal to leave your car running with the keys in it if you are not also in it. Apparently it is too much of a temptation for someone coming along who might want to steal it. My response was that hitting people with a baseball bat who were trying to steal my car that was warming up, would be too much of a temptation for me --and that would be my defense in court for assaulting someone who entered my open garage to steal my wife's car.

It's only -12 Fahrenheit (-24.44 Celsius) right now! That was the high temperature yesterday !

Since my son was born, my priorities have shifted considerably. While I have always been somewhat of a Trekkie (no I don't dress up and go to conventions), due to my new priorities I don't see movies very often. I had wanted to see the Star Trek: Into Darkness movie since it came out, and only recently watched it with my wife when she bought the DVD for me for a Christmas present. I enjoyed the movie very much and was pleased with the characters and how they were portrayed. In fact, even while some things changed over time, such as the appearance of the Klingons , the original characters--though they are now played by new actors have remained very close to the original. In fact, (Pavel) Chekov still pronounces the 'W' sound like a German rather than a Russian. But maybe best of all, James T. Kirk is still reckless and a woman-chaser. Perhaps Star Trek was already diverse enough, but I find it refreshing that no one has (yet) decided to change James Kirk into...

Right now it is -23 Degrees Fahrenheit (-30.56 Celsius) with a windchill of -45 in the Twin Cities .

Click picture to enlarge: Click back button to go back Oh please can it be the Designer Series Aluminum Bud Vase?

The holidays can be fun and they can also be stressful. I think this photo shows why for me, it was all worthwhile. My son loves his new book, Grayson's Adventure!

While riding in the car with my wife driving, I observed that men and women are extremely different in many ways. The roads were messy as we drove to IKEA , and the windshield was getting dirty on the car. Every couple of miles (or minutes), my wife would shoot generous amounts of windshield washer fluid on the windshield and clean the dirt off with the windshield wipers. I recognized that had I been driving, and since I am male, I would have driven until the windows were nearly blocked completely by dirt before applying a small amount of washer spray so that visibility was (mostly) once again restored. Upon leaving IKEA, I overheard a man complaining about the store; after which his wife said, "I love this store!" This is also true of me and my wife. For me, IKEA is a commitment. It took us most of the day to go through and find the things we were looking for (and some we weren't). By nature of being put into this place where you follow a one-way "road" thr...

We took our son to Sea Life Minnesota for his birthday.

Seriously? 59 servings? You couldn't throw another spoon in and make it 60???

Happy Birthday to my son. Daddy loves you!

A scent inspired by my left buttock , Draw Breeze is an aroma you will not soon forget! Available in fine dollar stores everywhere!

CuTRis Decides to let Authorities Pound Data Thieves UnAssociated Press December 19, 2013 After learning that the thieves who stole credit card data, from 40 million Target shoppers could be dangerous , CuTRis has vowed to let the authorities pound the thieves.

CuTRis Vows to Pound Target Data Thieves UnAssociated Press December 19, 2013 After learning that his credit card data, along with 40 million others may have been stolen while shopping at Target, CuTRis vowed to pound the thieves for such a dastardly crime! CuTRis went on to clarify, that he would deliver the beatings personally unless the thieves were big... or if they carried guns or weapons or if they were "like really tough or something."

"I never thought it was such a bad little tree..."

The band hadn't gotten together for a couple of weeks... um... about a month and last evening we jammed. It was great fun--even though Dave broke a string!

 

I just love my Pandora Bracelet ! With its gaudy colors and overall "bigness," it is the "perfect" gift this Holiday Season!

In order to get the Minnesota Vikings to win, you first should get rid of the first-string and replace them with the second and third string players. That way you can have a team that can beat another team that is supposed to be better .

CuTRis Seen Using Fake Sign Language UnAssociated Press December 13, 2013 CuTRis was recently sighted at a funeral for some guy from Passaic , using fake sign language . "This was extremely embarrassing," said some guy at the funeral who had come for the free lunch. "I just can't believe someone would do something like that!" He commented between mouthfuls. CuTRis was unavailable for comment. Meaning: I have an invisible basketball.   Meaning: I can see you but you can't see me.  

CuTRis Safe: Victim of Slow RDP Connection UnAssociated Press December 12, 2013 News today confirms that CuTRis is safe and was never lost in Colorado. Apparently he was the victim of a very slow RDP connection . CuTRis seemed unaware of the massive search that had been going on for him and said that in fact, he was nowhere near Colorado—though he had been working on a server in another state which was amazingly slow. The remote connection had interfered with his email connection and essentially he was lost to the outside world for quite some time. CuTRis said he was able to survive the ordeal by eating snacks from his desk drawer and drinking tea. When asked if he was reluctant to remote into another distant SQL server , CuTRis said he was ready to deploy as needed.

Aerial Search Continues for CuTRis UnAssociated Press December 12, 2013 CuTRis has still not been found. Video from a search helicopter shows the rough terrain over which the search is taking place.

CuTRis May Be Lost in Wilderness UnAssociated Press December 12, 2013 CuTRis is assumed to be lost somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. Not much is known except that he is thought to be Northwest of Gunnison, Colorado.

Jacqueline Upturd was a nobody really. She had connections through her mother who had also been a nobody—until she was cast on a TV sitcom in the ‘60’s. Through those connections Jacqueline had become a writer. Now she fancied herself a celebrity and she liked to use social media to tweet out her sarcastic and conceited views. Many people seemed to think that Jacqueline was very beautiful. That was probably due to her gigantic teeth; which gave her quite a unique smile. The smile that so inspired her fans, looked similar to how a constipated horse might look just prior to a massive bowel movement. Jacqueline Upturd loved herself more than she could ever love anyone else—which could be why she had decided never to get married. On the other hand, she was just plain ill-tempered—so maybe no one had ever asked her. Driving in her vintage 1970, Chevy Caprice, she liked to crane her neck—and scowl at people who looked like they were happy or in love. Sometimes she envisioned running th...

I saw the homeless man I wrote about last week again this morning. This time it was -7 Fahrenheit (-21.67 Celsius). He was moving slightly under his blankets. I saw him the other day after the snow. He was out in about 3 degrees shoveling the sidewalk in front of the businesses on Rice Street where he lives. This is no ordinary street bum.

I only look like I'm asleep...

  Saturday was the 7 th of December and this sign says that coffee is free on every 7 th ! Well guess what? They don't actually give you free coffee on the 7th!!! What you ask??? No! Apparently, you have to buy 6 coffees and then they will give you a free one...

http://kstp.com/article/stories/S3236993.shtml?cat=1

Nelson Mandela has died at age 95. Thanks for a long life well lived.

I used to go to Twin Cities Reptiles (and before that the Pet Dragon ) frequently back when I kept small reptiles and amphibians for pets. I had not replenished my animals for many years and after many more years, the last of my pets passed on and I "went out of business." The store is now in St. Paul and I visited there recently with my wife and son—because my boy likes to "go see animals!"

CuTRis will now attempt the 30 meter right click .

I went to deposit some money in my son's bank account. I now know what the US in US Bank stands for; U nbelievably S low! But in their defence, they have a guy who stands around and says "hi" to you. I don't see that he does much else and another teller would be preferable.

This little guy is my nephew. http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/video/9599965-mom-takes-on-hmong-culture-for-bone-marrow-donor-for-son/

This morning after I dropped my son off at his grandparents' house, I drove down the icy road to Rice Street where sure enough, the man who lives on the sidewalk by the hardware store, was wrapped up in blankets like a mummy. He was lying on the sidewalk next to a shopping cart heaped full of his belongings. It was 8 degrees Fahrenheit (-13.33 Celsius). Ten years ago I had the experience of working in social services with drug addicts and I became familiar with the tragedy of poverty and addiction. One thing I learned from the men who often slept outside in our frigid Minnesota winters, is that most of them no longer have toes. It's not something you would think about or probably know if you sleep in a bed in a house. These are not aliens from another world, they are people like us. They have problems, often mental illness and often they self-medicate and abuse alcohol and drugs and even substances that no one would normally ingest or inject—all to make it through the next...

Dear Santa, I would like an F-35 Lightning II for Christmas. Please make sure it is fully loaded and ready to go. Thanks Santa! Kevin

I’m talking to a tech from a large client that hosts and manages their own version of our product. He is having much difficulty and I spend way too much time with him—in spite of the fact that they have no service contract. I say I will need to defer the situation to my supervisor since I have spent a lot of time and they have “limited service.” He doesn’t like that. He tells me that if he buys a muffler for his car and it doesn’t work right he can go back to the place where he got it and they will fix it (i.e. I should do that too). I tell him that what he said is true—unless he installs the muffler himself (which is essentially what he has done with our product). Then I defer to my boss for further instructions.

For some time now, I’ve been wondering why people still use professional photographers . Certainly most of them probably do a good job, but with the current technology it seems that taking a quality picture is easier than ever. That said, there are still a lot of people who for some reason can’t take good pictures. Maybe in this case there is a need to pay someone to do it for you. I don’t have expensive or fancy camera equipment and I don’t think that using a $900 camera will insure that you get good results. For me, it is all about capturing the moment—which necessitates my having a small camera that is easy to carry. When my son was born we declined the services of a professional photographer at the hospital—yet we have some amazing photographs. Among my favorites is one of our newborn baby sleeping in the sunshine from a window. In this picture he looks like an angel and no props or artificial lighting could have made it any better—or as good. This summer I attended an event th...

Get this... Createspace (where I make my paperback books) is an Amazon company. But somehow, Amazon is selling the book(s) cheaper than Createspace is. If people buy through Amazon (and why shouldn't they?), I get next-to-nothing for a royalty--where if they buy it from Createspace (and pay more), I get much more. I believe the "machine" is designed to make money. Unfortunately it is also designed so that I (the author) don't make any. Thank you Amazon for selling my books. Thanks a lot Amazon, for making sure I don't make any money from book sales. Just an FYI -- between fees, minimum amounts and creative pricing/royalty policies, I have yet to be paid for any of my book sales. But to be fair, if I ever sell millions of copies, some of that money will eventually trickle down to me! It's a good thing that I'm not in it for the money! -KJC

Grayson's Adventure (also on Amazon) is on track to outsell all my other books! I have plans to write more children's stories in the future.

CuTRis Tops Miley in Bizarre AMA Performance UnAssociated Press November 25, 2013 CuTRis Sings, "Fixing Sock" CuTRis has topped Miley Cyrus for bizarre perfomances at the American Music Awards . CuTRis sang his hit, "Fixing Sock" while a giant animated dog was behind him.   Miley Cyrus Sings, "Wrecking Ball"

I liked the show when I was a kid and I still do now--but there is something I don't understand. When was Gilligan ever a "mighty sailing man?"

By Kevin J. Curtis Synopsis Kevin, Larry and Dave are all working at their computers; miles away from each other. Each one is getting hungrier as the morning goes on! Luckily, they have snack s in their desk drawers! In a fight to the life, each one must compete against their own hunger to survive! Yes, it doesn't get any more exciting than this! Watch as Larry downs a handful of Craisins ! See Kevin eat several Triscuits ! Watch as Dave ... where is Dave? Huh? Oh... OK... I guess Dave went out for a smoke... The Hungry Games will have you on the edge of your seat!    

I can't deny the popularity of The Hunger Games , but then I don't understand why people like vampire stories or Rap music either. But seriously... if there really was a Hunger Games contest, what would the winner really look like?  Not Realistic   More Likely Has anyone made a spoof of the Hunger Games ?

By Kevin J. Curtis Fuctor Ramirez Arguayo Johnson was a happy man with no maladjustments—except for his insane, irrational fear of butterflies. The fear developed when Fuctor was a mere child; after his cousin Hector was killed by a rabid butterfly on the fourth of July. It was a gruesome scene. There were ninety-seven butterfly fang marks in Hector’s body when they found him. Married to his sister’s cousin at the age of seventeen, Fuctor became a father by the time he was sixteen years old. After people had been telling him that he should become a doctor for the last twenty years, at the age of nineteen, Fuctor ran away with the circus to become a chicken tamer. That was when disaster struck. Fuctor fell into the company of renowned, master chicken wranglers, Kent, David and Tommy. The three were known for their bravery around farm animals; and they abhorred the use of firearms. Egged on by the trio before he was ready to perform, Fuctor was badly gored by a wild chicken befo...

As it gets darker for more of the day I have noticed black forms--barely distinguishable running across the roadways. Pedestrian s are literally risking their lives by running in front of moving vehicles. A significant number of people are killed in these accidents each year--which could be avoided if more care was taken. Yesterday I returned from the grocery store as it was growing dark when five people ran across a busy intersection in front of my car and lots of other traffic behind me. We in the cars had the green light and had been waiting to go. Now, a mass of traffic nearly bumped together and inched forward as more and more stupid people ran across the road to board a bus on the other side. It would be unbelievable--except I know how ridiculously dumb some people can be sometimes.

 Click picture to enlarge - click "back" to go back. https://www.createspace.com/4526504 Also on Amazon

George Zimmerman is in trouble for pointing a gun at someone... AGAIN! NOW ... he is not supposed to have guns. Wow! Did it take a scientist to finally figure this out? Some people shouldn't be allowed to have guns because they might use them when they lose their trigger happy tempers!!!

Yes, CuTRis wins again!

Grayson's Adventure! is a story that I wrote for my son. If you have a toddler who likes books, you may want to take a look at this book that is just in time for Christmas! Click on the title to see more. While looking for something to do, Grayson shrinks down to the size of an ant! To get home he needs to count to ten and recite the alphabet!

In case your wood is too slow...

I'm working on a children's book for my son for a Chistmas present. It will be available soon for $5.50 in paperback.

Roman Yogurt Defeats Greek Yogurt UnAssociated Press November 14, 2013 In a violent taste test today, Roman Yogurt has defeated Greek Yogurt in an all-out battle of the taste bud s. Just how this will affect yogurt snobs around the globe is yet unknown. The UnAssociated Press asked Yogurt from Star Wars for a comment on the battle and he said, "Dumb you are for thinking my name is Yogurt!"

If you do an Internet search for, "the guy who ruined the Doobie Brothers ," you will find information about Michael McDonald . Sorry Mike, but it is true...

Borg Making Cars Now UnAssociated Press November 11, 2013 Most people may know about the Borg and the giant spaceships they use called Borg Cube s, but did you know they now produce cars?  The UnAssociated Press has obtained this photo of the new Borg Cube Car !  

Isn't it ironic that a guy named, "Incognito" is creating so much attention for harassment ? From what I understand, it is hard to be Incognito in the NFL right now ...

Pigs Seen Flying Over Frozen Hell UnAssociated Press November 8, 2013 The UnAssociated Press has learned that pigs were seen flying over a frozen Hell this morning! In other news, the Vikings won their game against the Washington Red Skins !

CuTRis got really Hungary, So he used a Ukraine to lift a giant Canada beans. Because he had no can opener, he dropped the can from the Ukraine and it bounced to the Netherlands. It rolled into the ocean and washed up on England. A car driving on the left side of the road swerved--it's horn sounding "Aruba!" CuTRis was really hungry so he ate some Chile. Frustrated, he threw an Estonia into the ocean and thought about the chocolate Malta he had yesterday with that Turkey sandwich. He got himself a glass of water with Iceland. He Kuwait until dinner!

Homemade Larry Trap Trapping Larry can be an enjoyable hobby for people of all ages! Here is a simple and humane trap that I designed to catch my former coworker Larry. By using a recycling bucket balanced on a pen, I've attached a string to the pen so I can pull the pen away and drop the bucket on Larry when he goes to get the Craisins . If you have lots of Craisins, you can keep letting Larry go after you catch him and do this everyday!

 CuTRis Discovers Ancient Artifacts UnAssociated Press November 5, 2013  Renowned explorer, CuTRis has discovered some amazing ancient artifacts . Apparently CuTRis found these artifacts along some railroad tracks . The full implications of this new discovery are not yet known--though CuTRis said he believes it will be historic!  CuTRis believes this to be a body ornament of some kind--possibly a nose piercing.      CuTRis says this device was likely used by hunters and attached to prey to slow it down.

To all Disc Jockey's and radio stations, I like nothing more than to hear some dumbass talk incessantly about nothing even remotely important during both the beginnings and endings of songs. It is not at all annoying when you do that--so keep up the good work. Thanks, Kevin

CuTRis Injured Before Game: Unable To Play UnAssociated Press November 4, 2013 Star quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings , CuTRis , was injured prior to the game on Sunday with the Dallas Cowboys. Apparently as CuTRis was "suiting up," he was accidentally trodden on by 343 lb. teammate, Phil Loadholt . CuTRis was unable to stand under his own power for seven hours--and by then the game was over and the Vikings had already lost. Currently the team has no plan to sign CuTRis for another game--citing " durability " as the primary reason.

It seems that much lip service is given to how the different cultures don't agree on many things, so I wanted to point out that sometimes they do! Some of our newer immigrants and minority groups may have different customs, religious beliefs, etc., but after giving out candy for Halloween last evening, I can see that there seems to be an agreement that ringing someone's doorbell (3 or 7 times) and receiving free candy is agreed on by nearly everyone! Some of the people were older teens and perhaps even adults--many without costumes! Yet all of them were happy to come to my house and ask for candy. Halloween certainly has a way of bringing us all together! In fact, some of the older teens enjoyed the experience so much that they would shift position and then complain that they had not yet received any candy; when of course they had. So trick-or-treating isn't just for the little kids as I once thought. It is for grown-up or nearly grown-up people too! I will have to...

CuTRis Criticized for being Critical UnAssociated Press November 1, 2013 CuTRis was criticized today, for being critical, by a critically acclaimed critic. When asked about it, CuTRis said that "no one likes to receive criticism, but sometimes it is necessary--especially if it is over something critical." No one knew what this meant, so CuTRis wrote a critique for the UnAssociated Press--calling them a bunch of "critical ass-wipes." This in turn led to CuTRis being criticized, for being critical--by yet another critically acclaimed critic.