I am CuTRis

By Kevin J. Curtis Henry Klein was not quite five feet tall and weighed less than three-quarters as much as most men. He had always been small—which meant he had always been picked on by the other boys in his town. That was years ago now, and as an adult Henry Klein had turned mean. He had battled depression for most of his life until he found solace in a nickel plated pistol that his dad had left him before he had died. Henry didn’t care whether he lived or died, since being the boy that everyone picked on was all he had ever known. But something happened when he shot the revolver and felt the smooth action of the cylinder turning. He practiced with the gun until he could pull it from the holster and fire it accurately in the blink of an eye. Henry had heard about another man… a gunfighter who had injured his shooting hand. He had been gunned down shortly afterward in a duel. Henry decided to purchase a second gun and he practiced with his left hand until he was almost as quick ...

Eight gallons doesn't seem like enough water to wash a car. I guess that explains the discount...

I started reading an "adapted classic" version of The Adverntures of Huckleberry Finn . These "adapted" classics are supposed to be so we can understand great literature of the past. Mostly it is because an easily riled segment of the population finds it necessary to make classic literature, "politically correct" . So even though I have a degree in literature and read Geoffrey Chaucer without their help, some ass-clown thinks he/she can re-write for a master like Mark Twain ! I guess modern people are not allowed to come to their own conclusions about history. We can't read a book in the language of its time and place in the world. Like so many other things, we need to sanitize it to make it less offensive--instead of try to understand it from the point-of-view of its place in history. Oh well... I guess I will go read more about Huck Finn floating on a raft down the Mississippi with African-American Jim...

Cutris Stacks Giant Blocks UnAssociated Press June 1, 2012 Cutris was seen placing giant concrete blocks yesterday. Cutris rests after moving a giant block. We wondered what Cutris was up to? An hour later we had our answer!

What was I trying to remember? Oh that's right! I have to water my plants! Thank you random road sign!

The frogs in these bogs can be really loud! Take a listen.

Every morning I drive by a woman with a small boy about three-years-old. I have yet to see the woman interact with the boy, as she is always doing something on her phone. There was a guy texting while driving in both of our lanes this morning. I've been out to dinner with my wife and noticed couples out to dinner ignoring each other as they are talking or texting on their phones. I've seen family members at gatherings oblivious to those around them as they are absorbed in whatever is on their phone. Perhaps this should be called, Anti-Social Media . While I enjoy connecting with friends by email and writing goofy things on my blog, I think many people are getting carried away. Perhaps the most insane waste of time is Twitter. Does anyone really have something important to say every few minutes--and is that activity possibly a giant waste of time? I started a Facebook page for my novel, Cottonwood . I decided that since it was a promotion for the book, anyone could be my fr...

This is by no means a complete list of what you can find on this blog for short stories. But here are a few links to some good ones. Sky Drop Airborne Army into combat... A Short Cutris Spy Story There are lots like this on the blog, but this silly Cutris story says it's a short story... Star Trek: Next Generation "#2" Here's one for the Star Trek (Next Generation) Fans... Mr. Butz Dairy From the mouths of babes... Peter Goes to College Peter's life from inside the trunk... Escape from St. Josephine's Can Philbert survive Catholic school? Leland An outcast turns into a gypsy... Gunfighter A little man becomes a big threat... Bastardly's Hangover This one might just be dumb... Rat Bastard Meat Market Rags to Riches... VORTEX Unknown Superhero... The Pounders Not responsible for their actions... Scrotius Silly Romans!

What is "hair milk?" Is it milk that you get from hair or milk that you give to hair? It sounds gross! Perhaps the best question is, do I really want to know what goes on in this building? Click photo to enlarge and click back to go back.

Our baby son has been trying to turn himself over from his back to his tummy and he finally got all the way over this morning! His mommy and daddy were very impressed!

This is the second best picture I took of the buck I saw today. He was just starting to grow his antlers back.

I saw this Red fox this morning as I went to buy a newspaper!

Cutris Talks About Time-Travel UnAssociated Press May 13, 2012 Cutris spoke to the media this morning regarding allegations that he has been traveling through time and space. He said that he had brought an extinct Dodo bird back from the past and had also brought a futuristic cell phone and an invisible car back from the future. When asked where these things were now, Cutris sighed and said that he had left the phone and bird inside of the invisible car. The question that was posed next to Cutris , asked where the invisible car was. Cutris looked slightly uncomfortable, and then said that he had forgotten where he parked it. No one has seen the invisible car since.

Cutris Seen with Extinct Dodo Bird! UnAssociated Press May 12, 2012 A new picture of Cutris has emerged of him posing with an extinct Dodo Bird ! The picture of Cutris with the young bird seems to reinforce the speculation that Cutris possesses a time machine.

Cutris Seen Driving Invisible Car UnAssociated Press May 12, 2012 Further fueling speculations that Cutris is traveling through time and space in a secret time machine, the controversial figure and former presidential candidate was seen driving an invisible car yesterday. This photo caught by Japanese photographer Lars Ingebretson, clearly shows Cutris behind the wheel of an invisible automobile. Cutris has since then disappeared and the car has not been seen.

Cutris Seen Using Futuristic Cell Phone UnAssociated Press  Press May 11, 2012 This picture of Cutris surfaced today--showing him using some sort of cell phone that he may have brought back while travelling in the future. No further information about the phone or who Cutris was calling was available at the time this story was published.

Cutris May Be Time-Traveling UnAssociated Press May 10, 2012 Sources say that Cutris may be using some sort of machine to travel across time and space. This picture was leaked to the press yesterday. No more is known about Cutris or his time travel machine at this time.

When he gets fussy, our baby boy likes to be carried. He doesn't want to just be held, he wants to be carried. He wants to be moving and to see interesting things along the way. Like yesterday he decided that the handle for the sliding patio door was interesting. Our baby son likes to move. When we take him in the car he is content as long as the car is moving. He doesn't like it when we have to stop at red lights. He wants the car to move again and he vocalizes his opinions. We have a happy baby who smiles and laughs a lot. When he gets upset, the best way to calm him down is by singing. He doesn't much care what you sing, but he likes it when you keep singing. If you stop, he resumes being upset.

So my question would have to be... what do the alligators do with the ice? They like to live where it's warm, so they don't need it to keep cool. Maybe that is the key to the mystery! Since alligators live where it is warm, they must have to use ice to keep their drinks cold!

The big chains like Homedepot and Menards are fine if you don't need much (if any) knowledgeable help. I've found that if I have a question about something I'm not sure about, Ace Hardware is the place to go. The guy who helped me today apologized for being slow to get up (he was stocking something on the lower shelf) and said he was 85. The thing is, the guy knew what he was talking about as far as product goes. That is invaluable!

This is Poison Ivy . Avoid contact with this plant. It grows in many forms from little plants to vines to bushes. The leaves look different depending on exposure to sun or shade; or other variables. I took this picture along a walking path in a local park. This is a very common plant. Click on picture to enlarge and click back button to return.

My wife and I have been married for 4 years!

Baked cookies , as opposed to the unbaked kind of cookies--which are also known as dough .

April was a blur of hard work. We sold the house and moved out.

When I was growing up and someone said "it is for your own good," it almost always meant that something unpleasant was coming. As a parent, I have learned that anything that hurts my baby boy is horribly unpleasant for me . This includes the vaccinations that are given to babies. My little boy got some shots again yesterday, and he doesn't know why he is being hurt and cries as his daddy holds him. I could almost cry thinking about it, but I had to be strong for him. After all, it was for his own good right? It's amazing how much I love that little boy. -KJC

My nearly four-month-old son picked up his toy rattle by himself this morning. In the past I would give it to him to hold but today he reached over and picked it up!

Perhaps this picture demonstrates the bank collapse of the recent past few years--better than any words do.

Leland Boxleitner was the fourth cousin, twice removed of actor, Bruce Boxleitner . His famous relative did not help his cause though. Leland was an outcast. In fact, the latest version of Merriam Webster’s dictionary now showed a picture of Leland Boxleitner in the margin; next to the word “outcast.” This may have been enough to drive Leland over the edge, but not today. Today was Leland’s birthday and he planned to take his birthday money from his grandma and go to the city to spend it on some “two-bit ho’” like his grandma told him to. Grandma had sent it in a text message, but Leland didn’t use text messaging so grandma printed a copy and was now pinning it to Leland’s shirt as he protested. “Grandma!” said Leland, “you don’t have to pin notes to my shirt anymore!” “Nonsense!” barked grandma. “You lost every damn thing I ever gave you unless I pinned it to your shirt!” “But grandma,” protested Leland, “That was when I was three. I’m thirty-two-years-old today!” “Happy birthday!” s...

Doctors seem to be getting more specialized and some only work on a certain disease or a certain part of the body. Now, apparently, there are doctors who only work on dentists!

We've been busy selling our house.

Granted, I have not purchased a Monster for quite some time--so I am not up on the current pricing. Even so, I am reasonably sure that one cannot hope to buy a brand name monster such as Frankenstein or Godzilla for only $2. I mean be reasonable! In my photo the current price of a gallon of gasoline at $3.77. Any monster that only costs two dollars must be either small and nonthreatening, or perhaps it is a generic monster with some ridiculous name like, "Napkin Man." "Oooo! I'm so scared of Napkin man!"

Philbert Housley Drysdale III was the first second grader to be in the detention room at his school in a very long time. What’s worse, Sister Margaret Hosenfish told him that he would surely go to hell for his offence. You see, he had kissed a girl. It all started very innocently during recess. Lucinda Hollander had touched his arm while playing tag; and something had come over him. He wasn’t sure what it was—but he did know that he had reacted. Now he was stuck in detention with the likes of Harris McGillivary; the toughest sixth grader in St. Josephine’s Primary School. If he survived this day, maybe hell wouldn’t be so bad. Yes, he would be in detention until the end of the day—or until he copied the sentence “I’m a filthy little pervert,” six million times—whichever came first. Harris McGillivary had already thrown enough spitballs at him to create a pile on the floor three feet tall. Harris got away with this behavior because he paid off the detention monitor with moonshine from ...

I don't buy lottery tickets very often but I bought one for Mega Millions for tonight's estimated $540 Million jackpot. This morning as I was trying to get my baby boy's kicking legs and arms into his clothes, I wondered if there was an easier way to get dressed. I began to think of how Batman and Robin slid down the bat poles (in the old TV series) and were instantly changed into their crime fighting clothes! As I discussed with my baby son what we would do with the lottery money if we were to win, we decided that we would have Bat Poles in our new house! When I told my wife about the idea, she just shook her head because she seems to think I am silly. So I said to our son, "If mommy doesn't like the idea of bat poles, she doesn't need to use them!"

This morning I drove past the police who had detained a young man wearing a hooded sweatshirt--with the hood over his head. I was also wearing a "hoodie," as it was 40 degrees outside. In fact I wear my hooded sweatshirt a lot; but I rarely wear the hood. I usually have a hat on instead. As I continued driving, I saw several more people in "hoodies" that did not have police questioning them. After the whole Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman thing people (who don't normally wear them) are wearing "hoodies" because they say it is a (racial) prejudice issue. Personally, if I was being "persecuted" because I was wearing a hood, I would get a hat. One could argue that a person has the right to wear a hood. I would agree. I would also agree that said person has a right to swim in shark-infested waters with chicken carcasses strapped to their arms and legs. The intelligence of such a decision could be questionable. Perhaps this sounds racist to some...

I have millions of dollars to share with you if you help me get it out of my country (I just need your private information). Cutris Answers: I have a dead rat. Let me know if you want half of it. Make your "junk" bigger!" Cutris Answers: I can't or it will need to apply for its own zip code. Click here to update your (insert bank, credit card, etc.) account. Cutris Answers: Click on your butt to see if it tickles. ...and finally, I am a poor, yet beautiful Russian girl. You are the man of my dreams! Please respond to me so we can live happily ever after! Cutris Answers: I am a drunken commode salesman, I can fulfill your dreams if you send me enough rubles to buy me some gin!

First, don't pretend you're a cop if you aren't and follow "suspects" while carrying your gun. Second, don't (immediately) jump on top of someone and pound the crap out of him if he might be following you. This is a prime example of what happens when two people with a chip on their shoulder cross paths. Either one could have made a better choice and avoided this tragic result. Now, the hate-mongers who want to use this to promote some racial agenda should make better choices too.

The Satiated Games Premise Hero Dogness takes the place of his babysitter who is forced by a corrupt School Safety Patrol to participate against other youth from 13 different classrooms in an eating contest where the loser doesn’t get dessert! —KJC

I made up this little song for my son on Tuesday evening (March 20, 2012). Kevin J. Curtis

The debate continues as to whether the U.S. soldier accused of killing afghan civilians may be suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder . Staff Sgt. Robert Bales may have experienced too much war when he went on a shooting rampage that left 16 Afghan civilians murdered. Can we send people into war repeatedly? Can we send them back after being wounded? Can we really expect that someone can witness the horrors and tragedy of warfare and not be permanently changed in some way? After four deployments in ten years and twice being wounded, what can and should we expect that a human being can handle? I'm not condoning the action, but it just so happens that my latest novel (not yet out) Lapse of Humanity deals exactly with this issue. Society creates warriors, sends them to war (sometimes repeatedly) and then "we" can't integrate them back into civilian life. This is a tragedy for everyone involved. Prosecuting the individual will not fix this issue. The system nee...

Across the railroad tracks from the place where I get paid to go and make data work, there is a swamp and a woods--that kind of reminds me (a little bit) of the wildlife refuge where I would probably rather be most days! Anyway I went for a stroll over there and saw some deer. Here is a picture of one running away. Click on picture to enlarge and click back button to get back.

Celina Robschneider would go to the docks every morning to see if Roberto Forecast had returned from the sea. But most days she was disappointed because Roberto was still out to sea; catching clownfish and ridicufish. On those days she returned home to have a breakfast of pine needles, freshly mown sedge and garlic sauce. Celina hadn't been in the country very long, but she had already picked up many of the bad habits of the locals. One of these compelled her to say the made-up word "snikalore" after every sentence. "What-will-you-have?" asked the barkeep, as Celina rode in on her donkey. "Beer… snikalore," replied Celina. "What did you call me?" asked the bartender; now suddenly offended. "You take your ass and get out of my bar!" "I didn’t mean to call you 'snikalore;' snikalore," said Celina. But the barkeep just looked angrier so Celina rode her donkey back out of the door. Now out in the street, Celina loo...

My wife and I took our son for a walk around the Maplewood Nature Center on Saturday. Though he is just over two months old, I must say that I was impressed that he kept up with me step for step!

He sat in the dark staring intently at the horizon. Nothing happened for nearly half an hour; and he finally shifted his weight as he sat quietly on the rock ledge. Birds were chirping loudly as he continued waiting. Down below him somewhere in the dark, was the swamp and beyond that the tree-line. He could almost see it all now as the colorless night rubbed against his eyes and the wind blew briskly across his head. Then, it happened. The tip of brilliance began to show above the horizon. It was blinding and he had to avoid its direct glare. All around him the colors began to come to life—as blues and greens and reds flashed across the skyline. The sun was up now and shown so brightly that he stood up and turned away from the blinding eastern sky. He would continue his walk now. It was morning. —KJC

As the father of a baby, I have learned the importance of burping. While adults are encouraged to stifle their burps in public, babies are encouraged to let loose. In fact, after finishing a bottle we adults tilt our babies upright and pat their backs to stimulate burpage. Sometimes babies don't burp. This is bad, as it can lead to gas pains or spitting up. I have become the undisputed champion of burping my son. My wife has many, many things she does best for our boy, but I am the master of burps. One of my tricks is to lie him on his back briefly after an unsuccessful burping attempt. Often this is enough time to wash out a milk bottle. It is also common when he is on his back for changing, that he will spit-up. This observation developed into my master burping plan. A minute on his back followed by tilting him upright and rubbing or patting his back (or my patented combination of both) will almost always result in a loud belch that would embarrass any adult out in public! My suc...

There was a fog this morning. This zoomed in section of the same photo shows a fog monster coming down the road! Click on the photo to make it larger (and click the back button to get back)!

...and tomorrow.

I went to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you last night (on a business trip).

It seems I am always getting junk mail. I get junk phone calls too. People even knock on my door and ignore the "no solicitors" sign in order to try to get me to give them money. Sometimes, though, the junk mail makes me laugh as it tells me to make things bigger or some other idiotic thing! Today I had an email from Wen Hair Care Products . I've been shaving my head since late in 2003, so my question is, Will it work on my back hair?

Cutris to Host Average Person Awards UnAssociated Press February 13, 2012 It was announced today that Cutris will host the upcoming Average Person Awards . With the numerous awards like the Grammys , Latin Grammys , Oscars , Golden Globes , etc., the Average Person Awards are long overdue! Curtis has experience from hosting the Caucasian Grammys on White Entertainment Television ... what??? Oh, sorry, white people are not allowed to have the equivalent of Black Entertainment Television or the Latin Grammys. For that matter, I don't think average people are allowed to receive awards for doing "average" things and living "average" lives. Cutris will not be hosting the Average Person Awards after all. We at the UnAssociated Press are sorry for wasting your time...

By Kevin J. Curtis No one remembered how the town had gotten its name. Let’s face it; the people who had named it had all died a long time ago. Now he was headed off to college. He didn’t know why he should feel self-conscious about where he came from. After all, he was a Kingbuttz; and the Kingbuttz family had been very influential in the town of Bastard Hollow for as long as anyone could remember. Bastard Hollow was the only place he had ever lived. That is, up until now. He was on his way to the big city where he had been accepted into Parnell University. He would be moving into a dorm on campus later that day. He was leaving everything that he loved behind—including, Mitzi Hershel Stanford; who was the prettiest girl in Bastard Hollow. He had been going steady with her for over two years. Their last meeting had been tense. Mitzi said she couldn’t wait for him. But he knew that he needed to get his education in Micro-Biology. Studying small insects and germs was all he had ever want...

We woke Saturday to a beautiful Hoar frost . Here is one of my photos.

In Pennsylvania, they say the Woodchuck saw his shadow this morning. Here in Minnesota it is too foggy (see photo) for that to happen! In the north, we can expect at least six more weeks of winter regardless of shadows, etc. Happy Groundhog's Day!

"It's so hard to choose a candidate in the Republican Primaries ," complained Jethro. "They all suck!" "You gots to look at it differ-runtly," said Cletus. "It's like when we is tryin' to get rid of the weevils before they wreck our crops." "Do tell!" said Jethro--suddenly interested in the intellectual reasoning of his friend Cletus. "Say we gots to have one kind of weevil on our farm and there ain't no two-ways about it," continued Cletus. "Only thing you got goin' fer you is that you get to pick which kind of weevil yer gonna' have to deal with." "Ya mean like a Boll weevil ? asked Jethro. "No," replied Cletus. "These is hypo-thet-icul weevils." "What kind?" asked Jethro. "Pretend the Republicans on TV is like weevils. You got a big giant weevil , and you gots a much smaller weevil ", explained Cletus. "Now if'n you could pick what ki...

The recent story of a Muslim family convicted of killing their three teenage daughters is simply outrageous! This crap happens in other countries and now it happens in Canada and the USA too. I may be "just an infidel to the radical Muslims , but I will go on record as saying that if you can kill your own daughter and blame it on your 2000-year-old set of religious beliefs, it is time to get a new religion! My Ojibwe friend Joe says, we don't own our children, they are on loan to us from the Creator . I can't believe how some cultures and religions still devalue women with backward ideas that restrict their freedoms. Such things include, making them cover their faces, not allowing them to drive or go out in public without a male relative escort, or charging money to a prospective husband to buy their daughter for marriage. The idea of killing a woman just because she wants to live a normal life , or because somebody else's warped perception is that the woman was t...

My mom wanted us to baptize our son and neither my wife nor I have any objections. In fact, I was raised Christian and my wife who is from another culture agrees that our son will learn that he is multicultural. Imagine my surprise to find out that baptisms are political and churches won't baptize a baby unless the parents are members! I should have researched this better before making my request to my local church. I had assumed that a baptism was about the soul of the baby. Why was it that I grew weary of church politics in the first place??? Oh yes... I remember in Sunday school when the "teacher" grabbed a kid by the throat (granted he was a goof-off). This was just one of the contradictions I saw as I was being schooled in religion . This doesn't necessarily mean that I am a non-believer. I just don't like the hypocrisy in organized religion! KJC

My wife and I left our baby son with grandma and grandpa so we could go out to lunch together. It was really nice to have a chance to talk to each other and not have the baby cry while we were eating. But of course we were already missing him when we were backing out of the driveway to leave for the restaurant...

CBS Producers say that when Charlie Sheen was removed from the TV show, Two and a Half Men , that the show was saved by Ashton Kutcher . REALLY??? (Michael) Kelso ??? Because I think the show was already getting too raunchy as it was, and now Kutcher, who only seems to be able to play one type of character (i.e. Kelso)-- just like Tommy Chong can only play a stoner has brought the show to a new low. Let this show die. KJC

In the United States, the Republican Party has sprouted a faction that calls itself the Tea Party . With notable members such as Sarah Palin and her "twin" Michelle Bachman, The tea Party has taken the name of an important event out of America history, called The Boston Tea Party and defiled it by using it to define their political strategy to keep President Barack Obama from getting anything passed or making any progress. The idea is to never agree and never compromise on any issue that the Democratic Party wants. What the issue is or whether or not the idea is good or bad has taken a backseat to stubbornly rejecting anything that is not insanely conservative. For this, I want to say "Thanks a whole lot."

I haven't been making many entries lately, as I have been otherwise occupied. Most of my time is taken up working in the data warehouse. Then I get to be dad and husband. Recently I learned about the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest . I was just finishing my latest novel, "Lapse of Humanity," and I had to do a hurry-up edit and get it entered. I'm trying to figure out how to get more time, as time seems to move faster... all the time !

I saw the most annoying car ever tonight. The poor woman was driving a Buick down the road behind me with the alarm going off! You know... that stupid alarm that goes off on some car everyday--somewhere close enough for you to hear it. When I hear that sound, I always say to myself, "Oh no! Somebody is stealing a car!!!" Ha! ha! No I don't! I was just foolin' you! After I got onto the freeway, the Buick with the honking horn and lights flashing on and off went past me. "Man," I thought. "That car is sure annoying!"

I quite like the song, A Thousand Years by Christina Perri .

Yesterday on my bank statement there was a charge I had never seen before. It was a check image charge. After calling TCF Bank and going through their horrid computer phone system I finally got a live person. She told me that the pictures of my checks that I've gotten on my monthly statement for the last nine or ten years now costs $1.95 per month. I had that removed, as I know what my check looks like and can take a picture of it myself if I need to. So apparently I could be charged a $10 maintenance fee if I didn't use my debit card enough or if my balance was too low. That settled it. My son's new bank account will not be at TCF! I may have to follow the Un-occupy Big Banks movement.

"Just relax, this will only hurt a little..."

On my way home from work yesterday I decided to stop by the dollar store to get a couple of things. Now I don't expect to be entering a "high class" establishment when I go there, but the two women who were very loudly using language that would put the Sopranos to shame made me think of my time working in the alternative high school and the chemical health division of the county. What is it that people like this are trying to achieve by using the "F" word in every sentence? Now please don't insult me by trying to turn this into a racial thing (like when I was working at the county). I don't care what color your skin is; I just don't want to hear you spew obscenities at high volume in a public place. On the "flip-side," I would venture to guess that these same two women would go into a (near) homicidal rage if someone with a light complexion uttered the "N" word. So the power of words is strong, and ignorant people are creating a...

1. Who names their kid, "Mitt?" OK, his parents are sort of off-the-hook--since that is his middle name and his first name is actually, Willard. 2. If Michelle Bachman drops out of the race, does that mean you have to actually know something in order to run for President?

So if you happen to follow my blog (believe it or not one or two people do), you may have noticed that I've been fairly "quiet" for awhile. It seems that I became a father just before Christmas in the wee hours of the morning. I awoke that morning to my wife saying, "oh crap, I think my water just broke!" We are both tired, happy, overwhelmed at times and just so grateful that we finally have the baby (boy) we were trying for for so long. I'm going back to my new, new job that I started late in November--and I'm experiencing separation anxiety! I don't want to be away from my wife and son right now. But, responsibilities, wages--these things also take up time and are important. How has my life changed some people have asked? How has it not ? My priorities have, I think, rightfully shifted to my wife and our tiny son. Among the more humorous notes, could be all of the nicknames I've given my son depending on if he is being "Mr. Fussy Pants...

My wife and I are enjoying our new present!

My wife and I welcomed our new son into the world yesterday!

And so the fire raged on as no one could find the "FIRE HOSE ."

The data comes in and it is usually dirty. It requires cleaning before it is accepted into the data warehouse. All day long people send this data. They typically think it is just pushed into the warehouse and put on its appropriate shelf. Little do they know how much work goes into it! The warehouse is virtual, yet it is also real. The work is virtual--yet the data is real. Out of all the many jobs I've ever had, this is definitely one of them.

Cutris gave it a lot of thought. Then the thought floated away on a thought bubble. "Where did the thought go?" Cutris thought. But the thought was fleeting...

Actor Harry Morgan best known for his role as Sherman T. Potter on M*A*S*H , died yesterday at age 96.

Much brain power required.

Herman Cain Continuing Controversy UnAssociated Press December 5, 2011 Even though Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, he remains the subject of controversy. Today it was reported that two more women, a chicken and a sunflower have accused him of sexual harassment.

Cutris shows the outside of a huge beaver lodge. As impressive as the outside is, it is nothing compared to the interior. Here is a photograph that Cutris has supplied which shows the inside of the beaver lodge. Amazing!

My wife is on bed rest as we wait for our son's coming birth. As a result, we did not venture out to the two Thanksgiving invites that we had. We still had a good meal, as I made this duck for us.

I went hiking (the Mazomani Trail) at Louisville Swamp in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge today. It was 37 degrees Fahrenheit and cloudy. The snow was melting, but there was just enough to brighten up the scenery. I saw one juvenile Bald Eagle , a lot of animal tracks and a Yellow Perch trying to fight its way upstream through a tangle of branches in a culvert. Aside from the usual assortment of woodpeckers and a lot of trees cut by beavers, I didn't see too much wildlife--but the scenery there is fantastic! Here are some photos I took... Jab's Farm Ruins Tracks! One of the Rock Ledges The Swamp The Giant Rock

I am literally "between jobs." I gave my notice (i.e. told my boss I was leaving), worked two weeks and haven't started my new job yet.

I managed to find a few hours to go hiking today! I went into the (west end of the) Wilkie Unit in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge . The temperature was in the lower thirties (Fahrenheit) but I was plenty warm if I kept moving. Along the way I found a deer skull, a Cooper's Hawk , a Belted Kingfisher and viewed the nests of the heron colony. Here are a few photos I took. Blue Lake Deer Skull Heron Nests Leaf Carpet Beaver Dam Bald-Faced Hornet Nest Great Horned Owl

For your enjoyment, and in case you missed them, Cutris (in a dual role) will now reenact all of the Lethal Weapon movies in eight seconds. The scene is punctuated by the crazy rantings and reckless behavior of Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson). Also important is the shouting of Rigg's name by Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover). Now sit back and enjoy the show!

Today is, 11-11-11

This disaster training video is kind of cool. I know the guys who did the recording of it. The credits for the creation can be found HERE .

How would I describe Dick? He's not big or small; he's an average size Dick. Dick is smart. He knows about different parts like bolts; and nuts. Dick's nuts are galvanized. It seems that someone is always looking for Dick! Guys are always calling, looking for Dick. Women like Dick too. I work with Dick every day, but soon I will be working somewhere else—so I won’t see as much of Dick. Maybe you work with a Dick too! Do you have a friend who is a Dick? Here is a picture of my friend Dick. Photo of Dick measuring his wood DISCLAIMER: No Dicks's were harmed in the creation of this post. Proper authorization was obtained prior to posting this post. A sense of humor may be required to fully appreciate this posting.

TOL - "Yes Cutris , what is it now?" Cutris - "I have another question. During my life as a Mongol, did I have any computer aptitude?" TOL - "That is a ridiculous question. Computers hadn't been invented yet!" Cutris - "I know that, but was the aptitude there anyway?" TOL - "Yes, I must admit that it was." Cutris - "Cool... that's what I thought..."

He recognized the warehouse where he did his work. It had only been a few months since he had fled from the independent district. Now, he tried not to feel sad that his wife was further in the city, resting in the hospital. Their son was still likely to arrive before the scheduled date, but there was some hope now that things would be alright. Yeah, it was a stressful time and he had bumped it up a little when he decided to step off the ship and throw his future in with another group in the company of new people. Those he had spent the last few months with were so brilliant and had become good friends. Still, it was undeniable how the climate could change in rapid succession when the head man arrived. The dark cloud would loom in above the tiny warehouse and the discomfort was unavoidable and undeniable. Yes, it was a good time to leave, yet it was more stress on top of the stress. He was tired. The cursing in the next room was uncomfortable, but he would soon be free of it. More frie...