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Friday, May 31, 2013
Asteroid to Pass by Earth
Asteroid to Pass by Earth
UnAssociated Press
May 31, 2013
Not to worry, asteroids rarely crash into and destroy the Earth. Last time the Earth was destroyed, was this past Tuesday in an amature Youtube video created by an anti-social, overweight North Korean kid who had nothing better to do except pretend to blow up the world.
UnAssociated Press
May 31, 2013
Not to worry, asteroids rarely crash into and destroy the Earth. Last time the Earth was destroyed, was this past Tuesday in an amature Youtube video created by an anti-social, overweight North Korean kid who had nothing better to do except pretend to blow up the world.
CuTRis Returns from Alternate Universe
Thursday, May 30, 2013
CuTRis Reportedly Vacationing in Alternate Universe
CuTRis Reportedly Vacationing in Alternate Universe
UnAssociated Press
May 30, 2013
The lack of news about CuTRis this week--along with this picture that was found on a space alien's cell phone clearly shows that CuTRis is (probably) in an alternate universe.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
My Condolences
My condolences to those hit by the tornado in Oklahoma. Also yesterday a horrible accident during a St. Louis Park school field trip killed one student, injured two and left one missing. It's going to be a tough summer for some of these kids. I remember at age 13 when my best friend died three days after school was out for the summer. I don't think I smiled for a whole year.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Super Coke Deal!
Super Coke Deal |
I heard a rumor that this convenience store/gas station was recently purchased by a drug cartel... but I don't know that I believe it...
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Neighborhood Watch
I started a social media site for a neighborhood watch. It's encouraging that I have some responses this morning! If we band together we can put criminals on notice!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Stolen Bench
To the person or people who stole the wooden bench in front of our house--Whatever you do/did with it, I know you will sit/have sat on it at least once.
I hope your butt is cursed from that moment of contact.
I hope it itches, then bleeds, then develops into some kind of terminal illness that crawls out of your butt and spreads all over your entire body.
I hope your butt is cursed from that moment of contact.
I hope it itches, then bleeds, then develops into some kind of terminal illness that crawls out of your butt and spreads all over your entire body.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I've Been Reading To My Baby Boy...
Then something happened...
Mr. Brown can moo and he saw one fish two fish. He can sound like a hand on a door knock knock!
Rabbit's plane flew right through the door and over miss Lizzy's garden!
Three buzzing bees chased Pooh to the zoo where Elmo likes the elephant whose trunk swings left and right.
Some are long and some are strong!
A Jed is in bed and the bed of a Jed is the softest of beds, it is said. He makes it with pom poms he grows on his head.
I can be quiet when daddy asks me to.
He asked the kitten, but the kitten just looked and looked.
You're not my mother! You are a scary snort!
Good dog Sparky!
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Mr. Brown can moo and he saw one fish two fish. He can sound like a hand on a door knock knock!
Rabbit's plane flew right through the door and over miss Lizzy's garden!
Three buzzing bees chased Pooh to the zoo where Elmo likes the elephant whose trunk swings left and right.
Some are long and some are strong!
A Jed is in bed and the bed of a Jed is the softest of beds, it is said. He makes it with pom poms he grows on his head.
I can be quiet when daddy asks me to.
He asked the kitten, but the kitten just looked and looked.
You're not my mother! You are a scary snort!
Good dog Sparky!
................................................................................................
...................... ..........................error.........error..........reset.................$#^&%.*..........
...........bing...hmmm......zip....zip.......
welcome!.............login please..................
Friday, May 17, 2013
Turtle Hatch!
Thanks for Smoking & Drinking!
Since the trend is to tax cigarettes and alcohol to support the failing government budget--especially here in Minnesota, I would like to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who smokes and drinks. We couldn't do it without you!
CuTRis Wins American Idol!
CuTRis Wins American Idol!
UnAssociated Press
May 17, 2013
Apparently CuTRis won the title of "American Idol," until he told the producers to "piss off!" Then the title was stripped from him and given to someone who had actually been on the show.
UnAssociated Press
May 17, 2013
Apparently CuTRis won the title of "American Idol," until he told the producers to "piss off!" Then the title was stripped from him and given to someone who had actually been on the show.
Lions in the Park
Not only was I was unaware that lions are apparently roaming around in Central Park, I was also unaware that they had built a shelter there!
Gas Prices
In the realm of big oil crooks, they have now seen fit to artificially raise gas prices by shutting down two refineries at the same time--for "maintenance."
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Oreos: One Man's Story
My mom still buys me Oreos on occasion. I think it is because when I was a small child, I concocted a story for her that I needed to have Oreos to keep my eyes (color) brown. I think mom must have liked that story--or maybe she noticed my eyes are turning more green as I get older.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
When You Refuse to Change
When you refuse to change your actions, even when it is harming those who you love, what does that say about you? If out of tradition and convenience, you jeopardize someone else's health what does it tell you about your traditions? If you believe the way to handle hard situations is by "killing the messenger," how will you ever be happy?
Monday, May 13, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
CuTRis Voted Off Island
CuTRis Voted Off Island
UnAssociated Press
May 12, 2013
Though CuTRis does not even watch the TV show, Survivor, he was apparently voted off the show. "I've never been on that island, and there are few things I could care less about than that show," said CuTRis, "But it really hurts to talk about it right now--after all I never went through. No doubt had I actually been on the island, with nothing but those weird people, that giant TV crew, and that food truck to rely on for survival, it would have been much worse."
We at the UnAssociated Press understand how you feel CuTRis. Out of all of the bad things that could happen, this has got to be one of the least of them.
UnAssociated Press
May 12, 2013
Though CuTRis does not even watch the TV show, Survivor, he was apparently voted off the show. "I've never been on that island, and there are few things I could care less about than that show," said CuTRis, "But it really hurts to talk about it right now--after all I never went through. No doubt had I actually been on the island, with nothing but those weird people, that giant TV crew, and that food truck to rely on for survival, it would have been much worse."
We at the UnAssociated Press understand how you feel CuTRis. Out of all of the bad things that could happen, this has got to be one of the least of them.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Dead Sock
One of the saddest things in day-to-day life is seeing roadkill. One minute whatever it was, is bounding happily across the Interstate, and the next minute it is smashed! Sometimes you can tell what it used to be, and sometimes it gets hit again and the species is no longer distinguishable. So, though I don't normally take pictures of roadkill, I came across this the other day. It was sad. A dead sock most likely... or perhaps a long lost mitten. It doesn't matter much at this point. Decayed, lifeless and laying on the roadway waiting to rot or be removed. One minute the sock was enjoying its life, and then suddenly it was without a foot. No one knows what happened to its mate. Just the crash and death--and all that remains are the remains. At least the sock is no longer in pain. .. stuck there in the last position of death. I turn my head and walk on.
Dead Sock |
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Yes-Yes
Are you sick of "pansies" on TV telling you how to "get rid of unwanted hair?" Well I know I am! That's why I use Yes-Yes to add hair to my back, ears and other hard to reach places!
Yes-Yes uses a patented revolutionary system that looks like a tiny (reverse) lawn mower--that digs little holes and plants course, thick, luxurious hair all over your body! No more pansy-assed smooth look for me! Get Yes-Yes today!
Yes-Yes uses a patented revolutionary system that looks like a tiny (reverse) lawn mower--that digs little holes and plants course, thick, luxurious hair all over your body! No more pansy-assed smooth look for me! Get Yes-Yes today!
Bill Cosby on Blame and Skin Color
Well said Bill. I know a lot of people were upset to hear the truth.
California Indian Education Version
From American Rhetoric--Speech to NAACP
California Indian Education Version
From American Rhetoric--Speech to NAACP
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Check the Expiration Dates on Food!
I see this fairly often when I go shopping for food--that some of it is past the expiration date and still for sale. Recently for convenience sake I stopped at a Holiday Station Store to get milk for our baby. The gallon of milk priced at $4.59 was three days past the expiration date. So I told someone at the front counter as I walked out and drove to Aldi, where a fresh gallon of milk cost me $2.69. I sent an email yesterday to Holiday Customer Service who referred me twice until some guy who said he is the district manager said he stopped over there the next day and the milk was dated May 20 (not May 2) and it was hard to read as it wasn't printed very well. He also said there was nothing written on the markdown sheet for when they dispose of old product. Actually, it sounds pretty plausible--but I don't really believe it. I check dates on food every time I go shopping. If somehow it is true, then somebody better fix the zero printer!
Alternate Universe Ending!!!
Of course! Why didn't I think of it? Err... wait a minute... I did think of it!
I'll finish my latest (mini) novel by creating two alternate endings! That way the reader can decide which version of the future he/she would rather live in!
I'll finish my latest (mini) novel by creating two alternate endings! That way the reader can decide which version of the future he/she would rather live in!
Monday, May 06, 2013
Science Museum
My son enjoyed the Minnesota Science Museum on Saturday. He really liked the miniature tornado exhibit.
Compact Car?
SUV in Compact Parking |
Are Suv's considered to be compact cars now??? Maybe the driver is dumb or more likely feels entitled to the space.
Friday, May 03, 2013
CuTRis Escapes From Giant Spider
CuTRis Escapes From Giant Spider
UnAssociated Press
May 3, 2013
CuTRis has told a remarkable tale this morning about his daring escape from a giant spider! This transcript is of CuTRis' story as he told it to reporters.
"I knew the beast was ready to eat me as it came up behind me as if it were smelling a yummy hotdish! That's when I remembered how Bugs Bunny got away when he told that bull to "stop steamin' up" his tail! I yelled at the giant arachnid and punched it in the mandibles. Then I grabbed onto it's mouth parts and twisted until I pulled a piece loose! The spider ran away and I took the piece of mandible and went home."
UnAssociated Press
May 3, 2013
CuTRis has told a remarkable tale this morning about his daring escape from a giant spider! This transcript is of CuTRis' story as he told it to reporters.
"I knew the beast was ready to eat me as it came up behind me as if it were smelling a yummy hotdish! That's when I remembered how Bugs Bunny got away when he told that bull to "stop steamin' up" his tail! I yelled at the giant arachnid and punched it in the mandibles. Then I grabbed onto it's mouth parts and twisted until I pulled a piece loose! The spider ran away and I took the piece of mandible and went home."
CuTRis Holds Mandible Piece |
CuTRis Kidnapped by Giant Arachnid
CuTRis Kidnapped by Giant Arachnid
UnAssociated Press
May 3, 2013
Apparently CuTRis was abducted by a giant arachnid yesterday. CuTRis is thought to be in a cave in an undisclosed location, like in the Mountains of Brazil; but that isn't known for sure--but it is where he probably is. CuTRis is thought to be fine, but likely to have his "juices" sucked out of him leaving only his exoskeleton. CuTRis has been in many dangerous situations before, but whether he can survive this time is doubtful at best.
UnAssociated Press
May 3, 2013
Apparently CuTRis was abducted by a giant arachnid yesterday. CuTRis is thought to be in a cave in an undisclosed location, like in the Mountains of Brazil; but that isn't known for sure--but it is where he probably is. CuTRis is thought to be fine, but likely to have his "juices" sucked out of him leaving only his exoskeleton. CuTRis has been in many dangerous situations before, but whether he can survive this time is doubtful at best.
Photo by UnAssociated Press |
Thursday, May 02, 2013
CuTRis Grabbed By Giant Insect
CuTRis Grabbed By Giant Insect
UnAssociated Press
May 2, 2013
CuTRis (in photo) was apparently grabbed by a large insect this morning. The giant mandibles are clearly visible in this photo which just happened to be taken an instant before the gruesome scene occurred. No further information about CuTRis or the giant insect were available at the time this story was printed.
UnAssociated Press
May 2, 2013
CuTRis (in photo) was apparently grabbed by a large insect this morning. The giant mandibles are clearly visible in this photo which just happened to be taken an instant before the gruesome scene occurred. No further information about CuTRis or the giant insect were available at the time this story was printed.
Ticks in the Snow
Yesterday after we walked in the woods for a short time, Larry found a Wood Tick! That's not uncommon in May in Minnesota--except that it was snowing/sleeting at the time! Well this morning, after showering and putting on clean clothes, I found a Wood Tick on the bathroom floor! They must be young ones because they are small. I suppose the "new crop" just emerged when temperatures were warm a few days ago.