I am CuTRis

After a "brown" Christmas, and a lack of snow and cold, we got the cold early in February and the snow late the same month. We all remember what winter is supposed to be like now.

Brittney Spears tries to be like CUTRIS February 21, 2007 UnAssociated Press While numerous “talking heads” are trying to figure out what happened to Brittney Spears, inside sources report that her bizarre behavior stems from her jealous desire to be like Cutris. Several years ago, Brittney came into possession of a cassette tape of EFS (Electric Frog Syrup Band) music, which came from Cutris’ (AKA Kevin J. Curtis) band. The tape came from drummer Pete, who gave it to some guy named Jeff, who gave it to several more people until it ended up with Brittney Spears. Brittney heard the tape, which was described as being a “crappy boom-box recording,” and she found herself longing to play/sing real music. When she found out who Cutris was, she soon began imitating him. This jealous rivalry peaked lately, when she decided to cut her hair off so that she could look more like Cutris. “The kids in detention at the school where he works call him ‘The Bald Eagle.’ That’s so cool!!!” said Brittn...

Anna Nicole Smith, we are so sick of hearing about you. She was famous for using sex, (i.e. Playboy, marrying a really old tycoon, etc.) to become rich and famous. It is likely that she overdosed on Methadone (like her son did), which is a powerful drug used to counteract the effects of heroin addiction. I learned about Methadone while working for the Hennepin County Chemical Health Division. Heroin is a short acting drug that mimics brain chemicals. Addicts use it and they get high. Then when they come down, they get sick. Methadone is actually quite powerful and more addictive than heroin. It is used to stabilize heroin addicts. Because it is long acting, a person only needs to dose once per day. A physician monitors the dose so the patient is stabilizing, rather than getting high. In the wrong hands, this drug can be lethal. Even now, there are at least half-a-dozen men claiming to be the father of Smith’s baby. What an embarrassing crowd to be part of! There is also a fight over he...

During the halftime show of Superbowl XLI, Prince played his guitar behind a curtain, producing a silhouette that appeared to look like a two-headed penis. CBS and the NFL were both adamant that this was purely accidental, and Prince does not have a penis, let alone a two-headed one.

People often ask me about animals and nature. Recently I was presented with the question of whether or not a groundhog (or woodchuck, or marmot) can actually predict if there is going to be an early spring or not. My answer is, "probably." That said, why would the groundhog care about telling us? I think they might be inclined to give us "misinformation."