I am CuTRis

You can find the latest review of my book, "He-Who-Goes-First," at Alison Woo's website, http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/fascinating-new-book.html http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/

UnAssociated Press Cutris was recognized today, for his stellar achievement in inventing the most innovative and important invention to date, known to mankind. This invention is thought to have far reaching implications and rivals such other super-inventions, such as, the light bulb, the wheel, the computer chip and beer. No doubt, you will be hearing more about this marvelous invention in the days to come. Cutris could not be reached for comment at the time this story was printed. It is thought that he was busy working in his “inventing shed.”

Yesterday I was watching the news when a story came on that blew me away! Apparently not only is the security of some of the United States’ seaports managed by people from foreign countries, but there is a pending sale for a United Arab Emirates-based company to run six of our ports. There was (of course) a call of racism, and that anyone should be allowed to have the security contract. Perhaps while we’re at it, we should bring in some Al-Qaeda personnel to work as Secret Service agents, to guard the President. Personally, I don’t want anyone who isn’t an American, running the security of anything as important as a seaport. I don’t care if the company is Canadian, we should set a precedent that no foreign entities can run our ports. This is simply a no-brainer as far as I’m concerned. Do we want real security, or should we just hand over the keys to the White House to the highest bidder? Finally, I have this to say… don’t make me run for President, because I will! And when I win, th...

For perhaps the first time ever, my left eye may have better vision than my right eye. This is due to the LASIK enhancement that I underwent on Friday. It got me wondering if this will cause my body/personality to adjust to this new situation. My left eye droops a bit more than the right, and my right eye always had better vision –though both eyes were visually impaired and I needed glasses or contact lenses until my original LASIK treatment a year ago. When I think of my left side/half/hemisphere, I feel that it is more sensitive, neurotic and creative, while my right side has always been clearly superior in strength and agility. While I am left-eyed, my eye surgeon did some basic tests to determine “eyed-ness” on me, and I am truly ambidextrous. I shoot right handed, so I generally aim with the right eye. Now, after having my eyes corrected, it seems that my left eye may actually end up with better vision. This is of course, once the eye fully recovers from the laser surgery. I beg...

Yesterday I had my LASIK enhancement in my left eye. They told me I wouldn’t go completely blind this time, which was true. I was able to watch through the eye they were working on. The corneal flap never heals all the way, though apparently it sticks down pretty tight -as I watched the doctor pull it back up with a tiny forceps. The actual laser treatment took seconds this time. My evening after the procedure was much like before. It felt like I had something in my eye and the tears flowed for several hours. This morning my eyelid is swollen, but my vision is great and my post-op exam went well. Would I do it again? Yes. I would do the initial and the enhancement again if I could have my vision the way it is now. As I said before though, when you are lying on the table with your cornea opened up, it’s good to know you have the best doctor and team. I would still recommend going to the best, not the cheapest.

Tomorrow I go for a LASIK enhancement. I had my original eye surgery a year ago, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but well worth it. I just need the left eye fixed a little bit more. I was apprehensive about the process, and thought about it for a couple of years. I finally decided to do it and a friend told me about his doctor. I went to the same place. It wasn’t cheap, but I would recommend finding the best not the cheapest for something like this. The process is quite interesting; as they open the cornea and then burn (with a laser) the inside layers to the desired shape. Then they put the flap of cornea back down and it eventually heals on its own. It is a bit unnerving when the cornea is opened and you essentially go blind. Eventually you smell burning flesh. This wasn’t something I wanted to do again, but when it’s over I should see quite well out of both eyes. http://www.mneye.com/ps_lasik.aspx

I got to hangout with a bunch of seventh graders for three days of fieldtrips. On Wednesday, we went to Richardson Nature Center. http://www.threeriversparkdistrict.org/outdoor_ed/center_richardson.cfm Among the activities there, we were introduced to the three resident raptors. There was an American Kestrel, a Red-Tailed Hawk and a Barred Owl. All were injured or otherwise unable to return to the wild. The kids were also instructed on how to set up a tarp and start a fire to survive in the Minnesota winter. In this, they had varied success. The three groups with me ranged from the “hill people,” who tried to accomplish this on an incline and used all their matches trying to light sticks, to the meticulous group who thought they were doing poorly who lit a nice fire with one match. Note* the hill people would have frozen to death. On Thursday we went to the Wildlife Science Center. http://www.wildlifesciencecenter.org/ Bob the guy who did the program was excellent. Among the interestin...

I am going on three fieldtrips with the seventh graders for the next three days. It's all about natural history, wildlife and survival. It should be good. At least I'll be out of detention!

George W. Bush gave his State of the Union speech last evening. It brings up one question. If you talk out of your ass a lot, do you end up with hemorrhoids?