I am CuTRis

Cutris may have found Running-Mate! January 22, 2008 UnAssociated Press Cutris may have found his vice-presidential running-mate. After pouring through numerous applications and correspondence, it appears that the front runner is Congressman Bruno Bear , who is an independent from the state of Alaska. "I like Bruno very much," Cutris said in an interview Tuesday morning. "I think he has the kind of no-nonsense strength and courage necessary to make some of the changes that are needed to rebuild America." Congressman Bear is well known for his staunch support of environmental initiatives, which seems to sit well with Cutris . While an official announcement has not been made and Cutris insists that he is still actively searching, inside sources say that Congressman Bear is the only candidate that stands out so far.

It's time to leave the Bush. Dicks with ties to oil and Halliburton, are making lots of money. Meanwhile, people are dying in overseas wars. The average American people are losing money, jobs and their homes. World opinion of the United States is low. The value of the dollar is low. The country is in debt and foreign interests are buying our land and companies. The Dicks and Bushes aren't smart enough to see that when the majority falls, their foundations will collapse. They only care about lining their pockets with profits. Yes, it's time to leave the Bush. So what's next? Do you want to vote for a white-haired Bush clone? Do you want more Republican policies that line the pockets of the rich at the expense of the general population? Do you want a Democrat that is defined by the color of his skin or by the type of genitals she has? Is the party progressive, or missing the point altogether? Our country's history is both bloody and incomplete. The story of those who ...

Bush Snuggles with Saudis January 16, 2008 UnAssociated Press President George W. Bush was in Saudi Arabia today, pleading with self-made "royalty" to lower prices on oil exports to the USA. Bush also held hands with a prince, and was seen kissing a man. "He let me play with his sword!" an excited Bush said afterward.

I went to a pre-screening of the movie Cloverfield last evening. Since I saw it before most people, I thought I would review it for you. I thought the beginning was tedious. When the action finally started, I was dizzy from the continuous bouncing of the single camera it was witnessed through. No details were revealed, since the attack was recorded by some half-wit, who decided to carry a camera with a never ending battery and tape while he was running all over Manhattan away from monsters. I heard a few people on the way out, who thought it was "so real," due to the amature camera look -which has been done in The Blair Witch Project , and masterfully done in 84 Charlie Mopic . Don't get too attached to the characters in this movie, as it reads like a snuff novel. All in all, it might be worth renting the video, but I would feel ripped-off if I paid full theater prices.

Many of us have had the unpleasant experience of Box Elder Bugs or Asian Lady Bugs infesting the cracks and crevices of our homes or workplace in the late fall when the weather gets cool. Looking for a place to come in from the cold, thousands of these insects can swarm in through the tiniest cracks or openings. In January here in Minnesota, it is fairly uncommon for insects such as these to still be plaguing us. At work, however, I still see the occasional Box Elder Bug flying across the room or landing on my computer screen. On Sunday, I found one in my house! Now I could have "dispatched" this little insect, by crushing it, or flushing it down the toilet. For some reason, however, I took pity on the little guy. Why my sudden change of heart regarding this particular pest, I don't know. Instead of killing it, I caught the little guy and brought it to my deck door and tossed it out onto the deck. The bug seemed to enjoy its new-found freedom, as I reintroduced it to its ...

Trees Endorse "Conglomo-racial" Candidate January 14, 2008 UnAssociated Press While Barack Obama is attacking Hillary Clinton over her attack on him by attacking Martin Luther King Jr's legacy, conglomo-racial presidential candidate Cutris , has gotten the endorsement of trees. Cutris said he recognizes both Martin Luther King Jr's contributions to Civil Rights, as well as the fact that President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Apparently trees everywhere were impressed by the announcement, as they too are trying to achieve equality in a world wrought with clear-cutting and wholesale tree destruction. Cutris then told a national audience that his great great great great grandfather was half tree, and he can sympathize with their plight. Cutris also claims to be half of all 961 million races, including being half Brown Bear and three-quarters Bald Eagle. http://wcco.com/national/race.obama.clinton.2.629026.html

Today we hiked Central Wilkie. We saw Bald Eagles and White-tailed Deer. We also saw an old silo foundation. Here are some pictures.

Presidential Candidate Pictured with Ghosts! January 9, 2008 UnAssociated Press Yesterday's picture of Presidential Candidate Cutris , had a mysterious apparition in the lower left portion of the photograph. Some surmised that supernatural powers are behind the huge rise in Cutris' popularity. These forces may even have been at work on Oprah, when she decided to endorse Cutris for president in 2008. Further studies of past Cutris photographs, have revealed that ghostly apparitions have appeared in other pictures of Cutris . Paranormal experts have been consulted to explain this strange phenomena, but have yet to come to any concrete conclusions.

Oprah Backs Cutris January 8, 2008 In a surprise move today, Oprah Winfrey rescinded her endorsement of Barack Obama, and threw it firmly behind Independent Presidential Candidate, Cutris . Since Oprah's endorsement, Cutris has gone up 816.38 pts. in the latest Shack & Pasture Magazine straw poll.

As street culture seems to be popular with teenagers these days, so is the trend of using and wearing things in a way contrary to how they were designed to be used. Functionality isn't important here. Appearance is what matters. Older people (i.e. those over 20 years old); will not be able to fully understand, just as those who haven't bought into street culture will not understand why crime, drug use, having illegitimate children and killing someone could make you "important." Regarding the phenomena of using things "the wrong way," I will touch on a few. Originally called a "Rally Cap," wearing your baseball cap inside out, upside-down and/or sideways, was a way to encourage a losing team to make a comeback late in a game. Now, it is "the style," as dictated by street culture. Wearing your pants so that the crotch is below your knees, your butt and/or underwear sticks out, or you have to walk around holding them up because of their exce...

Presidential candidate Cutris , is currently searching for a suitable running-mate in his bid for the White House in 2008. Interested persons should forward their resume and introductory letter to Cutris .

I needed to send a college transcript for a job I applied for. I thought I would need to mail it, though there is a place to upload on the employer's website. The University has a way to access transcripts electronically, but apparently if you are "ancient" like me, they don't offer the service. So, I used the scanner here at work to scan a paper copy of my transcript. Then I saved it as .doc, even though I thought a .pdf file would be best. I found no way to convert using Adobe or any other program that I have here. I even accessed the online help and it only talked about Mac. So, I used Metacrawler to search for "convert .doc to .pdf" and found a free conversion on the WWW. So, I have now uploaded a pdf file of my transcript to the prospective employer. Whew!

With the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates all in Iowa, people are beginning to ask, "where is (Independent) presidential candidate Cutris ? The answer... Cutris is at work fixing computer technology. Cutris does not take off for such things as caucuses. "Caucuses are for wussies," Cutris said when asked if he was interested in the goings on in Iowa. "I have real work to do, just like what I will do when I win the presidential election in November. Bush and Cheney have crapped things up so bad, I'll be lucky if I can get away for any 'me time' at all!" "Caucusing is a waste of time and money. I know that's how 'you get elected,' but I have something to ask the American people. Do you want me to fix America or not? If you do, then we need to focus on a massive 'write in' campaign to get me elected. That's all there is to it! I have work to do now, I'm sorry but you'll have to leave."

Actually, I like online applications. You can fill one out, and use it again for another job later by making a few changes. That said, many of these "time savers" don't work the way they are supposed to. Some demand you include privileged information (like social security number), and often they don't work for whatever reason. Here is a "sanitized" correspondence I had by e-mail today regarding one of these frustrating online applications... Subject: Attn: Regarding your online application Date: Thu, 3 Jan 2008 08:41:21 -0600 From: Sammy.Davis@emailchangedtoohahaha! To: Cutris Thank you for your interest in our Job's Name position. In order to be considered for this position you will need to complete your application materials. Our records indicate that you have only partially completed the online process. Please click on the following link http://applicationsitechangedhaha and finalize your application materials. You may only need to click the submi...

Today I hiked the West Wilkie unit of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. It was a nice day in the middle twenties (Fahrenheit). It was warm enough, but I fell through the ice on my crossing from one side to the other. My solution was to keep moving to generate heat. Eventually, the strain of going through all of that new snow made my left knee ache. I was happy when I got to my car three hours later. I saw some six to eight Bald Eagles, six swans, lots of ducks including Common Mergansers and Common Goldeneyes. I saw a lot of assorted woodpeckers, and seen the kill-site where one lost its life. Another interesting feature of this area is the hundreds of Robins that winter in the mud from the discharge of the Blue Lake Waste Treatment Plant. Here are a few pictures.

With every Christmas gathering this year there was snow. This morning it is still snowing... Still, if you can avoid driving, it is spectacular!

Cutris Caught on Security Camera UnAssociated Press December 19, 2007 This security camera picture shows Cutris heading into the weight room just after 7:00 AM CST, for a brief workout before his shift (which starts at 7:15 AM CST). Cutris was seen leaving the weight room a few minutes later, to begin his shift working as a Technical Assistant. That picture was as boring as this one, so it was not included here. Despite capturing presidential candidate Cutris on the security cameras, there was nothing out-of-the-ordinary to report.

A student at the alternative learning center was sitting in the PC lab with a big can of something this morning. He tried to ignore me when I told him to get rid of it. I repeated, "Hey! No food in the PC lab." He informed me that he had a name and it wasn't "hey." I repeated that he needed to get rid of the can. He got up, used the "F" word and told me "don't mess with the crib, dog." I guess maybe he had some childhood issues and they might have even involved a crib and a dog. He was at least 6' tall. One would think he could graduate to a "big boy" bed pretty soon and give up the crib.

Apparently another coward has decided to shoot unarmed people to death in a public place. Had he not done such a horribly cowardly thing, I might have considered him a tragic figure. Now I consider him a coward of the lowest sort. There are lots of "suicide prevention" signs, literature and advocates. This is a good thing, and I can relate, having known several people who killed themselves –including my friend Steve who did it when we were both age 13. That said, for anyone who wants to take others along down your road of death, do us all a favor and put the first bullet through your own brain. None of us are impressed by a coward who thinks he is "going out in style," by killing unarmed, innocent men, women and children. Coward

I have been searching a state run website for years, to see what job opportunities are available. I am always amazed by how poorly it works, and by the way upgrades seem to make it less functional and less "user-friendly." When I ask for help or make comments on the feedback form, I'm always told everything is working fine. Here is a "sanitized" dialogue from today... From: Job Bank To: Cutris Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2007 07:42:28 -0600 Subject: Job Seeker Account - Feedback Hello Cutris, Thank you for taking the time to e-mail us. In regards to your e-mail about problems with our website; as far as we know everything is up and running. There was a rebuild last weekend and it should have improved searching according to zip codes, counties and words. If you are still having problems please call us at 555-555-5555 so we can discuss and identify the particular problem. Linda Job Bank Cutris replied, 12/05/2007 8:01 AM Sorry to tell you, since Monday I have not been able t...

Cutris Crosses Pacific with his Johnson December 5, 2007 UnAssociated Press Leaving from Kaneohe, Oahu (Hawaii) on December 4, 2007, Cutris has apparently crossed the Pacific Ocean in less than two days, as he docked in San Francisco Bay Wednesday morning, December 5, 2007. He made the journey in a 15' Alumacraft boat, powered only by his Johnson. The 6-hp Johnson outboard motor has been in the family for years, and according to Cutris , his Johnson functioned superbly for the entire trip. "Most of the boat contained 2-cycle gas, and food and water for the trip," said Cutris . "It was a little scary at times, but my Johnson pulled me through." When asked why he had attempted this dangerous crossing in such a small craft, Cutris replied, "I guess I've never considered the boat, or my Johnson to be that small. Both are very sturdy, and the experience was very pleasurable."

December 3, 2007 RE: Urgent Message from Cutris for President Headquarters Cutris for President Headquarters would like to announce that Cutris has accepted the nomination of the Cutris Party, for President in the November 2008 election. At a press conference today in Eagan, MN, Cutris answered questions and played a song about chocolate chip cookies on his guitar. When he was asked about accepting the nomination, he said, "yes."

Man Condemned for Naming Butt "Mohammad" December 3, 2007 UnAssociated Press A British surgeon traveling abroad in the Sudan met with hostilities as he tried to teach good hygiene to Sudanese children. Dr. Ian Bumm apparently uses a polystyrene buttocks to demonstrate proper wiping techniques to children in third world countries. To help to get the children to pay attention, Dr. Bumm starts out by allowing the children to name the false bottom. One particular group of mostly Muslim children in the Sudan chose the name "Mohammad." Even though Dr. Bumm convinced the children to name the fake butt, "Donald," Muslim religious leaders around the world called for his immediate execution. As a result, Dr. Bumm decided that he would actually go ahead and name the foam buttocks, "Mohammad." The action has caused a backlash of flag burning, chanting and shooting in the air, as those who were offended demanded that everyone be killed and then jailed. Dr. B...

This message is stamped on the train cars that are always parked in the Black Dog Preserve . I totally understand the logic behind this, but I wonder if it is really necessary to put up a sign? I mean, even if you were stranded out there for a couple of years or something, would this ever really be an option?

How can the Minnesota Vikings lose so bad and then win so big? Yesterday's 41-17 win against the New York Giants, actually made them look like a good team. Even with Adrian Peterson sidelined for the last two games, the Vikings still won both of them with the running of Chester Taylor. Yesterday, the defense was the key, as they picked off four of Eli Manning's passes and scored on three of them. Also a nice surprise was the conversion of third downs and Tarvaris Jackson's seemingly new found scrambling abilities. Too many times I have been disappointed by this team when I started getting excited about their play, but in this all-but-lost season they couldn't have picked a better time to pull it together -with a wildcard playoff spot in the balance. Perhaps winning now will save Brad Childress' job, but will it be able to prove that the Vikings are "significant," as the coach now claims?

Yesterday we Hiked from the headquarters of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. Among the things we saw, was a small but 8-point (White-tailed deer) buck and two Bald Eagles.

Cutris Saved by 4-year-old Girl November 19, 2007 UnAssociated Press 2008 presidential candidate Cutris was involved in a melee of sorts this evening. He had decided to go to a local establishment, according to police lieutenant Mason Dixon. “A bar fight erupted in there,” Dixon said. “Someone attacked Cutris , but fortunately there was a children’s birthday party going on in the back of the bar. A 4-year-old girl attending that party, who was also a jujitsu expert, came to the rescue of Mr. Cutris . By the time we got there, she had beaten up two large men, and Cutris was safe.”

Cutris Defeats Al-Qaeda with a Stick November 19, 2007 UnAssociated Press Cutris reportedly had a busy weekend, as the 2008 presidential candidate allegedly rode his bicycle to Pakistan last evening, and defeated Al-Qaeda in a pitched battle using a stick that he had found along the side of the road. At first he thought that he had rode to the convenience store on Nicollet Avenue, but he was actually in Pakistan at the time. Sources say that the stick used was neither a large stick, nor was it a small stick. Cutris is known to have been the champion stick fighter in his Boy Scout troop, as well as having used Gorock Sticks during his hikes in the Minnesota River Valley. At 4:72 AM, Cutris was seen riding his mountain bike back home to Burnsville along Highway 13. Reporters clamored for the story, but when asked if he had ridden to Pakistan, he said, “maybe I did, and maybe I didn’t.” Sources inside of Pakistan say that Al-Qaeda took a “damn good thrashing” at the end of Cutris’ stick....

Cutris uses giant tennis racket to save Earth November 18, 2007 UnAssociated Press Preliminary information from NASA, the American Meteorological Society, and NORAD, indicates that Cutris has saved the Earth for the second time this year. Apparently a giant meteorite was headed directly at the Earth on Saturday. Scientists had seen the meteorite coming, but the Bush/Cheney administration insisted that the meteorite did not exist. Cutris happened to learn of the danger when he was bird watching in the river bottoms and noticed a huge fireball coming at him through his binoculars. At first he thought it was a smudge, or maybe a bug crawled on the lens, but then he realized it was a meteorite. A customer of Tennis Champion, insists that he saw Cutris in the store about 4:31 PM on Saturday, and he purchased a Mongo Slapper 5000 tennis racket. He says that Cutris walked out into the parking lot, tested the wind with a finger, and then swung a spectacular backhand, just as a gigantic meteo...

RAM or Random Access Memory is the driving force of your computer. Your memories are stored on the hard drive, but the thought process is like the RAM of your brain. Of course, the brain is not run by pluses and minuses... or is it? The chemically and electrically charged brain is an organic computer system. Without your knowing it, the brain can even reroute itself after an injury. Computers and brains can both be affected by viruses and such, and doctors and computer technicians help us to keep our systems working smoothly. The network is like a city or government body. We need network administrators and politicians to decide the best course of action to keep things up and running. There's no computer in the wilderness, yet the ant colony runs like a machine; cause and effect are the driving force behind the program. Instincts and life-cycles have programs that send information to the brains and systems of plants and animals. I believe that it is time for me to power down until m...

I have finished my latest novel, "Cottonwood." I am planning to do another final edit, but I have begun the painstaking process of trying to find a publisher and/or an agent. I sent out about eight inquiries yesterday. Though they all say it takes weeks or months for a reply, I was lucky enough to already receive two rejections. The first said it "didn't fit with (their) current projects." The other claimed to love historical fiction, but (this agency) doesn't represent any fiction. I fully expect to get rejected by all of them (as is the nature of the business), but I'll keep trying. I'm sure I could get it published through Publish America again, but I found their organization to be unwilling to do any marketing. I don't want to go that route again.

This morning's sunrise, as I seen it.

Someone who has been causing problems for me and someone else has finally gotten what he wants. His interference and need to have power, has finally gone his way; so he thinks. What he doesn’t know is how this will ultimately play out if he doesn’t do the right thing. He is stubbornly bound to traditions that don’t belong in this century or on this continent. He has, ultimately gotten his way because he is pressuring one of his own family members into complying. I have refused to participate because this tradition is plainly and indisputably wrong and despicable. It is, however, a matter of one’s point-of-view as seen through different cultures. At this point, all appears to have gone his way, and it is time now for him to return the favor. If he is too stubborn, the particulars of the matter will eventually be known, as I refuse to lie about it as much as I refuse to participate. Once this information gets out, the embarrassment he has been trying to avoid will come crashing down on h...

Vote Cutris for President! ...His picture is bigger, so that means he's better. People who wish their pictures were bigger shown below.

We wanted a "quick snack" on Saturday and pulled into a McDonald's on Suburban Avenue in St. Paul. Ordered: Repeated 3 times to person "in" order kiosk. Couldn't hear that person well. 1 Filet-O-Fish w/out cheese $2.29 1 Dbl. Cheeseburger $1.00 1 McChicken $1.00 Tax $0.31 Total $4.60 Person at window asked for $4.70 That was when we found out he was charging us for someone else's order. Repeated order 2 to 3 more times. Gave "window person" $5.60. Person tried to give 60 cents back because it was "too much." Informed person that we wanted $1.00 back. Paid $4.60 At next window, person tried to give us someone else's order. Repeated order 2 to 3 more times. Waited. Was told to pull up to the "#1" on parking lot. Waited... Waited... Waited... Went inside and asked for money back. Was given money and asked if I wanted "a pie for waiting." Replied "no, I'll just contact corporate," (we'll see what ...

The Minnesota Vikings showed what they are capable of on Sunday November 4th, when they defeated the San Diego Chargers, 35 to 17. Adrian Peterson broke the NFL, single-game record by rushing for an unprecedented 296 yards. So why are the Vikings 3-5 so far this season? One reason could be the fact that the Vikings have no starting quarterback. Tarvaris Jackson is supposedly the starter, with Kelly Holcomb backing him up. With those two injured, Brooks Bollinger put on a good performance the last time he was called on (late in the game), and then yesterday, led the Vikings to victory against the Chargers. So does anyone, including head coach, Brad Childress, realize that Brooks Bollinger is the best quarterback, currently on the roster? Apparently not, as he keeps trying to force Jackson and then Holcomb to the front of the pack. Apparently the coach is always the last to know, as he only recently elevated Adrian Peterson to the starting role over Chester Taylor, who while respectable,...

Yesterday we went hiking on the Bluff Trail in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. It was a fantastic day! There is nothing like a late fall hike on a bright sunny day.

On October 30, we had a beautiful, late fall day. It got up to 70 degrees Fahrenheit, and I went hiking in the Central part of the Wilkie unit in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. I like the fall and winter for hiking, because of the lack of biting insects. There were only two or three hardy mosquitoes that weren't "done in" by the single freeze we've had so far. Perhaps they hatched after the frost. After an extremely dry summer, the late rains have the Minnesota River swollen. My hike was pleasant, as I was in short sleeves and comfortable. I saw some wildlife (mostly birds), including a Great Horned Owl, a Red-tailed Hawk (white phase), some Pileated Woodpeckers, and one Downy Woodpecker that let me take its picture. My other photographs (below), include a Bald Eagle's nest, and me in front of an enormous cottonwood tree. My orange cap is due to bow hunting (for deer) going on right now. I did see one hunter and adjusted my course away from his po...