I am CuTRis

I live under fallout. The party-girl upstairs who has loud parties, throws trash off her deck and makes noise all night has now begun a new plague. I recently bought my condo, and renovated it. Now, my new paint is ruined in the bathroom because she let something overflow and it has run between the wall and my new paint. My neighbors are all upset with this person, and they don’t even live under her. However, we live in a society that protects offenders. Those who are victims can do little to rid themselves of these horrible complications to their lives. The homeowners association is trying to fix this problem, and lawyers are stopping it.

Melnarik was from the planet, Melnarik Prime. Her family used to vacation on Melnarik-3 when she was still in the larval stage. Now, after several revolutions, she had left her home world with its various cheeses, and traveled into the Purple Zone. She found that fermented fruit juice was to her liking, and it came in glass cylinders, though she preferred it from a box. There was no accounting for taste. Yes, Melnarik had embarked on a new adventure, cleaning debris from the grinders of those who dwell in the Purple Zone.

Satisfaction is having bought gasoline for $2.88 per gallon last night, and seeing it went up to $3.19 this morning. Pretty sad in so many ways isn’t it?

Last night was National Night Out. I went to the gathering at my condominium complex and met some more of my neighbors. The food was good and it was fun, in spite of the rain. In the Twin Cities, the local media likes to talk about the crime and shootings (especially) in North Minneapolis. I understand that this needs to be addressed. I do, however, think that it is unfortunate that the good things that good people are doing don’t get noticed nearly enough. Perhaps if they were noticed, it would be as “cool” to do good things as it would to be a pimp and thug. Things are not the same anymore in Minneapolis. I believe it is a heavy Chicago influence that has changed it. Plain and simple, the glorification of street life and thugs has destroyed the quality of life for both those that embrace the lifestyle, and those who live in the vicinity. It is not “sticking it to the man,” so much as it is “sticking your head up your ass” and pretending it smells good.

Thankfully, the heat broke today. It has been really hot lately. Yesterday, it hit 101 degrees Fahrenheit (38.33C) in Minneapolis. It was eleven years since the temperature went triple digits here. I have managed to travel into triple digits a few times over the last few years. People might wonder why someone would live in Minnesota, “because it is so cold.” I can’t imagine living where you have to be indoors all summer because of the heat. I can wear a coat if it gets cold.

I watched “The Grizzly Man” last night. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427312/ It is about Timothy Treadwell (and Amie Huguenard), who were mauled to death by Grizzly Bears in Alaska in October of 2003. Having spent a week camping on Admiralty Island (back in 1987) with my friend John, and some estimated 1,500 coastal brown bears, I was in awe of both the footage this man got of these animals, and also the reckless arrogance that eventually led to he and his girlfriend being dismantled by the claws and teeth of one of the world’s most powerful animals. http://www.fs.fed.us/r10/tongass/districts/admiralty/ Treadwell filled his videos with his disdain for the government, the National Park Service, and humanity in general. I fully understand his feelings, since I am also of the opinion that more must be done to protect our natural environment and the animals therein. It is also true that Treadwell obviously wasn’t as wonderfully wise as he gave himself credit for being. The federal rules he...

My upstairs neighbor has a "party house," which is truly annoying. Saturday night I called the police after I heard glass shattering in the parking lot. The cops had a hard time getting in. I bet there were 40 people in that 1-bedroom condo. By morning, it was also apparent that they were playing a game of, "try to hit the concrete pool apron (from the deck) with a glass beer bottle." My friend who is on the homeowner's association board, assured me that the owner of this condo will be billed for cleanup. The party-girl (tenant) is also likely to be forced out, since she has done this repeatedly now.

When I look back at the last three years of my life, it sometimes amazes me to think of all that has happened to me. I left all of my security and tried to follow a dream. I must admit, I hurt so badly in my heart, that I felt real physical pain -both from leaving my friends and family, and then later when I left the broken dream on the banks of the Atlantic Ocean. So many things have happened since then, that may never have happened if I hadn't taken that chance. I've experienced a lot of things because of it. My choices, right or wrong, have led me to this “place” in life. Very recently, something wonderful happened to me that would never have occurred if I was still living in Minneapolis and working for the county. I don't think I'm "done" yet. As my American Indian Spirit Brother would point out, it is all about "the journey." I have become a very strong person, both mentally and physically. A couple of years ago I was severely emotionally injure...

My friend Jen says I never put her picture on my blog, so here she is at her birthday party!

My friend Jen says I never put her picture on my blog, so here are some pictures from her birthday party... No produce was injured in the process, and Dean's "smoke" was only a prop. Jackie was just there to make things look good, and Mark's pictures were too scandalous to make the blog... Thanks to Dave for his produce farming skills.

I've had some exploding beer lately. Me and Dave make our own, and some of his Red-Tail Ale got a bit too carbonated, and exploded. It ruined the labels on some of my Gorock Lager, so I had to make some more. Today I put a couple of canned beers in my music equipment bag when I went ot Dave's to do some recording. One of them punctured, and I had another 'sploding beer mess! I guess I shouldn't transport them that way anymore. It was a convenient way to do it, until the puncture incident...

The band recorded another song yesterday, and I am very happy with the result! We did my song, “All I Need.” The recording process is still a lot of work, but we seem to be getting better at it. We have found that we need to put the basic song down in the first track, which meant lead vocals, guitar and drums. I think completing one song in each (afternoon) session is doing pretty well.

I met an angel, and she showed me how to eat leaves and vines. She was kind of silly, and she tossed aside the fruit and preferred to eat the twigs and flowers instead. She was very beautiful, and very sweet, and I couldn’t resist her. Soon I found that eating leaves and sticks wasn’t so bad, even though I still preferred the pods and the fruits. At first she only showed herself briefly, and then she would fly off again to her own land. I missed her when she was gone. Gradually, she began to stay longer each time she would visit. We shared secrets, and I showed her the places I traveled and we ate the fruits we found along the way. She liked my music, and watching me cook. The angel isn’t here right now, but I know she’ll come back. I miss her when she’s gone, but I think I’ll be seeing more of her…

Yesterday was another work session for the band. We recorded Dave's song, "Swamp Gas." It is kind of a Bayou sounding song, and it was fun to put in all the little enhancement parts! It was still a lot of work to get the levels and sound just right. Perhaps in a couple of years we'll finish a CD. I have suggested that we call it, "The Great Album." Dave wants to spell it "Grayt," for some reason and Pete just said, "FINE!"

Happy 4th of July! Isn't it ironic that after achieving independence from Britain, that Britain is now one of the USA's strongest allies just a couple hundred years later? Isn't it also ironic, that our current government leadership is comprised of an elitist, wealthy group of people that no longer represents the bulk of the American population? That's why I'd like to take this opportunity, to ask you to invite a couple hundred of your closest friends to join in supporting my run for the office of United States President, in 2008. Why not have some guy with no money in the White House for a change? Is anybody really happy that we have two wars going on (that we know of for sure), a crippled economy and a continually widening gap between the rich and the poor? Soon, there will be no "middle-class," and then who will pay for the astronomical National Debt??? When will we worry about the environment? How much cancer-causing toxin can we afford to live in? If ...

The other day as I was mixing up my frozen, concentrated apple juice from Cub Foods, I noticed that the can said, “China” on it. Upon further investigation, the (Cub Brand) can said that the contents came from apples that were from Germany and/or Argentina and/or China. I stared at it, wondering why when a butt-load of apples are grown in the USA, that these apples came from “one or more” of these other countries? Yesterday, I decided to make a raspberry wine, using wild, Minnesota-grown raspberries. I will tell you, up front, that this is not a cost-effective way to get wine. The benefit is in the artistic creation, the satisfaction of making a fine wine, and using local fruit! My first step was to drive to Rapids Lake (about a 48 mile round-trip), where I know there are a lot of plants and a lot of berries. I was fortunate to find mulberries too! I was dressed in denim pants and a denim jacket to protect against the many thorns. I also wore a hat and a mosquito net over my head. I wa...

Our recording session yesterday, may have gotten us one song (i.e. "Roadmap"). We also recorded a live version of a song I wrote called, "Freeman." I wrote the song years ago, and when I first played it for the guys they said they would never be able to do it. I change time in a couple of places. I've been told that I "can't do that!" My response is "of course I can!" and "Don't you oppress me!" The guys can play it well now, though they claim it took "three years." I doubt it took over one... My point to them was, that time changes, when everyone knows where they are, actually sound great... and of course... I'm right -they do! Freeman probably needs more work in the recording "studio." I must admit that after several hours, I was running out of steam. Recording is hard work!

Even though things went well with my initial tracks, Dave and Pete had trouble following it. We tried again with me on acoustic guitar and Pete on drums. Then it was a little tricky at the end with my vocal track. In short, we're use to playing off each other live. We may have to try recording a live version with the whole band together. Today is all about seeing what works. No doubt about it, recording is a work session. Some of the joy of a spontaneous jam session is gone. Still, it's time we put some of our 160+ original songs down on CD...

After a beautiful morning, we're getting some much needed rain. The band is at Dave's house and I can hear Pete recording his drum part right now. I used my acoustic guitar and put down the rhythm part of my song, "Road Map." The first take was all that was needed, and then I put down my vocal track in one take. So far it sounds good...

On Friday, June 9th I flew to Charlotte, North Carolina. My friend Alison picked me up at the airport, and after beer and BBQ at Mac's Bar, we went to her beautiful home in Waxhaw, NC where I had my own room (with Internet access) and bathroom! Such opulence... sigh... On Saturday we went to Linville Falls, and hiked up in the Blue Ridge Mountains. The first photo shows the view from the top, which was more than worth the hike -even in 9o degree (F) heat! That evening we grilled out, and I enjoyed a local beer, Carolina Blonde. On Sunday, Alison had work to do (she is a freelance journalist and marketing maven), so I ventured off into the woods in Waxhaw. Later, we toured Waxhaw and Charlotte. We also visited Lake Norman. In the evening, we attended a Tony Awards party given by the North Carolina, Blumenthal Performing Arts Center, in the Booth Playhouse. We watched the Tony Awards, and instead of commercials, two actors cracked jokes and gave away prizes -including theater tickets...

Thanks to Alison for this picture of me discussing the philosophy of life with a stone eagle in a garden in Charleston, SC. This photo pretty well captures the humor that permeated the trip, amidst some pretty enlightening conversation.

I just got back from my trip to the Carolinas. More about that will come later. It was a very nice trip, and Carolinians are very nice. Last night was my first night back, and I needed sleep! So, the large, tattooed woman who lives above me had a loud party that started at 10:00PM, and continued until after 5:00AM. This puts me in a bad position, as I don't want to fight with my neighbors, yet I bought into a community where loud, late, midweek parties are not allowed. If it becomes a trend, I will need to do something about it.

I made it through the last day of school (for the kids)! There were fights and rowdiness. My job for the last two days was to patrol the school with a two-way radio. Today is my last day. We have to go through the lockers and empty any leftovers. Then summer vacation begins!

Last night I played my guitar Jade. She had been stolen, pawned, and then found and returned by police. She was in good condition, though my tools and a few other things were missing. The guitar, strap, cord, case and whammy bar were there. That was what was important if you were pawning it. We jammed with the band, and came up with a spontaneous song called, “Sudden Urge to Strangle,” which was inspired by the whole ordeal. It’s nice to have my guitar back.

I send my kudos to Rhode Island, for once again, winning the title of worst drivers in the United States. After having lived there for a short time, and having driven there, I know personally that they are most deserving of this "honor." From their own paper, The Providence Journal, http://www.projo.com/news/content/projo_20060527_driver27.3199ad0.html

Sometime last week, my guitar Jade had been located by the police at a local pawn shop under the name of the guy who we think stole her. By the end of the week, the guy that stole my guitar was arrested and sitting in jail. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Apparently he stole a bunch of other things from my friends too, but they hadn’t noticed right away. Hopefully they can get it back. My guitar sent that fartknocker to jail! When I get my Stratocaster back, I’m going to get her a badge and put it on the guitar strap. http://cutris.blogspot.com/2006/05/violation.html

All roads eventually lead to the bathroom.

Why Me? May 26, 2006 It wasn’t fair! Now he was going to be late because one of the kids wouldn’t cooperate. Josh cautiously sped up his car so he was going 5 miles-per-hour faster than the speed limit. He kept looking for police cars, but was determined to make up for lost time. He wasn’t late very often. Surely his boss Mr. Cavanaugh would understand. Still, he was frustrated. He should have left 10 minutes ago, but his son Brian insisted on making the morning as miserable as possible. Finally, with the children safely dropped off at school, Josh had only to drive the 13 miles to work. He was making good time, and 15 minutes later he swung his car around the corner just as a tractor-trailer came speeding through the intersection. The two vehicles just missed each other, and though he knew he had narrowly missed catastrophe, Josh hurried on into the parking lot of the building where he worked. He was only two minutes late. Not too bad, he thought. Still it was not something he let hap...

Two Minnesotans, Newt and Svenor, were discussing fishing don’tchya know, when Newt, he says to Svenor, “I want to take my boat out, but I know if I do it will rain. But if I don’t go fishing, it’ll probably be a nice day.” “Ahhh…” said Svenor, “catch-22 huh?” “I don’t know how many I’ll catch," replied Newt, "but I doubt I’ll get that many!”

- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Cutris Fires Trump May 24, 2006 Ironically, the man who coined the phrase, “you’re fired,” got fired earlier today. Cutris fired billionaire Donald Trump today with little explanation. When asked if he had the authority to fire the Donald, Cutris merely smirked and said, “Yes I do, and you are also fired for asking that question.” Cutris went on to say that it was “about time someone fired Trump,” and that he should “try shaving his head.”

Few possessions can invoke the kind of emotions that one can develop for a musical instrument. I am a guitarist. I have more than one guitar. They are all named. I can make them all sing. Last night, after going to hangout and jam with my band, I found that the Stratocaster that I keep where we practice had been stolen. We know who did it, but we have no solid proof. If he is smart (which he isn’t), he will try to return it. He should also avoid being in my presence. No real man would steal another man’s guitar! I remained calm. We did file a police report. My guitar is gone, and our equipment is not safe. This all happened because a troubled little girl, decided to choose a piece of human-garbage for a boyfriend, and he gained access to the house where we have jammed for the last 15 or so years. The one time I met him, he wouldn’t look me in the eye. That can say a lot. Whoever has my guitar now, she will never sing for you the way she did for me. She knows all my songs, but she will...

Cutris Appointed to Supreme Fort May 19, 2006 UnAssociated Press Report Cutris was named Supreme Fort Cutris yesterday by some government bureaucracy that has little to do with much of anything. The duties of a Supreme Fort Cutris are as of yet, still unknown. Also unknown, is the whereabouts of the Supreme Fort. No one in the government seemed to know what a Supreme Fort was used for, though nearly all of them agreed that it was better than a regular fort.

The school-year is almost over. The kids are getting in trouble at a rather remarkable rate lately. All of us are ready for it to be over. I am going to North Carolina for a few days. I just have to get through these last couple of weeks...

My closet hanger pole fell down last night. I hung all my clothes on it yesterday. Whoever put it up didn't screw the middle support into a stud, and it pulled out of the wall. Now I have to fix it and the wall! Ughh!

I'm moving. It's not fun. After three years in limbo, it is interesting to see what is in those boxes of mine. Some of it is nice stuff. Some of it goes in the dumper. I'm not feeling all that great today which makes it worse to move stuff.

Detention has been full lately. Yesterday, I nearly ran out of chairs 5th hour. There were four "scholars" already serving all-day "sentences," and a couple of the classrooms just erupted and I got several at a time.

My furniture arrived between 2:00PM and 4:00PM as originally promised. The first guy came in and placed his paperwork against my freshly painted hallway wall, and as he was bringing his pen down to write, I stopped him. The second guy was about to lean the headboard of my new bed against my freshly painted bedroom wall, when I stopped him. After I told them how I had spent the last month and a half stripping wallpaper, prepping, painting, cleaning... they were much more careful and even complimented my work. I have new furniture!!!

My new furniture is supposed to be delivered today between 2:00PM and 4:00PM. I don't answer my (cell) phone while I'm working at the school, but when it vibrated that I had a message I decided to check. It was the driver saying he was on the way. It was 11:30AM! I called him and he said he was told between 1:00PM and 3:00PM. It was 11:30AM! I told him I couldn't be there until 2:00PM, and he said he didn't know if that would work because... I told him that I couldn't be there until 2:00PM. At least it isn't raining, like the weather report said it could be...

Did you see the warrior? I did. He was standing at the tree line like he did a thousand years ago, as I walked toward Rapids Lake. Then he was gone –a ghost from a time long ago. I scared a pheasant as I started my climb down the ravine. The hen ran into the woods and was gone. This day in May was filled with wonders including blooming -Prairie Smoke, Phlox, Columbine, Pasque Flower and more. When I got to the lake below, I could see that it was flooded and reaching into the woods. The trees were submerged where the waters had extended into the bottomland forest. Above, a Great Horned Owl left its perch and swung a circle through the trees and over my head before flying off. I sat down on a log, and began to pull wood ticks off of my jeans… 3…4…7… The mosquitoes were already out in force, but they were still not ravenous like they would be next month when I would come back here for raspberries. On the ground I saw a feather. The owl had left it for me. Where the water had receded, ther...

The magic occurs in everyday life, and my main point is to try to recognize it. It is magic when an eagle flies over my head and I hear the wind in its wings. It is magic when I realize that some kid I tangled with all year at the school really doesn't hate me, and maybe something I said or did, actually sank into his hormone-ridden confusion. Magic is the Red-Tailed Hawk that flew circles around me after I returned to the woods after a month and a half. Magic is when a friend tells me that I said something that first made her cry and then made her feel wonderful. Magic is the smell of the morning as I walk from my car to the door of the school. Magic might be the day I met you.

I just asked Kid’s Name how he’s going to like being 26 years old, and hanging out with the other ninth graders at the mall… He’s well on his way to accomplishing this marvelous feat.

Good Morning I squint into the light of the rising sun. The coolness of the morning refreshes the world. I can smell the moist earth and freshly mown grass. The birds are busy and their songs fill my ears. The breeze blows the morning around my head. I step into the building and suddenly my good morning is gone. Kevin J. Curtis

I just ordered new furniture for my newly cleaned and painted condo. I've never had new furniture before...

Eagle Nest Cam... http://www.infotecbsi.com/wildlife/

I was planning to rent a machine and clean my own carpets, when I noticed a coupon in the local newspaper for "$7.95 per room, 2 room minimum." How interesting... I had just two rooms to do. It did say, "other charges may apply." O.K. I bet they do... I could do it for around $30 or so myself with "The Rug Doctor" from Cub Foods. I decided to call and they could send someone out the next day (today). There was a pre-treater for the path walked around the bedroom, there was a Teflon (isn't that poisonous?) treatment to prevent stains, and he measured 423 sq. ft of carpet. Grand total, $294! Umm... does that sound like $7.95 x 2? He had his stuff lugged up there, and had already done a sample, and I said no chance I would pay that much. He called his boss, and got it down to $168. I said I could do it for $30 myself, and he told me how he had better chemicals, better equipment, etc. This was true, but I told him the coupon was deceiving. After hanging up...

You can take Cutris out of the woods, but you can’t take the woods out of Cutris… I have been stripping wallpaper, cleaning and painting for about a month and a half. During that time, I hadn’t been hiking in the woods like I normally do. Finally, yesterday, I decided that I needed to take a break from my condo work, and get back into the natural world. I bought that pair of boots I had been thinking about buying, on my way home from work. It was going to be another beautiful, sunny, 70 degree (Fahrenheit) day. This time I wouldn’t miss it. I also meant to test those boots to see if they were really waterproof. When I left the trail and headed into the woods, I soon found my way blocked by flood waters. I could see that the water had been much higher before, as I was climbing over the branches, trees and debris left behind as the water receded. I managed to pick my way through and started my journey around Fisher Lake. I had to redirect my path several times due to water, and I knew th...

This picture was too great not to share...

Kid’s Name (dad in prison for murder) is in detention. His English class is working on poetry, and he flipped out. I have him in the detention room now. We've had our battles in the past... I cautioned him to gain control of his temper, and let him know I've had to work on that myself over the years. I also offered to help him with his poetry assignment. He's trying to be ultra-cool, but I don't think he is quite sure what to think of the “Eagle.” He is completely calm right now.

Cutris Meets Ryan Seacrest! April 23, 2006 UnAssociated Press Presidential candidate Kevin J. Curtis (aka Cutris) was spotted in a trendy Burnsville nightclub shaking hands with American Idol celebrity, Ryan Seacrest. When asked about the meeting, Ryan said, “It was great to meet Cutris. I think he’ll make a fine president!” When Cutris was asked about the meeting, he said, “Meeting Ryan Seahorse, was probably the most exciting thing that happened to me in the last three minutes!” Photo by, Jenn4 Productions

The detention room is rather full today! The kids are into fighting, hitting, etc.

Thanks to Mark for sending this... http://decider.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Starting next month, this blog will be available in either fresh cougar or desert camel scent.

Flipping-Bird-Ray April 18, 2006 UnAssociated Press It was reported today, that Cutris has created the very first, Universal Flipping-Bird-Ray. This invention may be the most insidious device known to humankind. It allows Cutris to “flip the bird” to everyone in the world simultaneously! It was only days ago that the world was in shock by Iran’s announcement of enriching uranium. Not long ago it was the North Koreans who had developed nuclear weapons. Now this! When asked to comment about his new device, Cutris simply said that he will not use it , until everyone really pisses him off. The U.S. State Department has apparently contacted Cutris to try to either buy or steal the device from him. Cutris was unalarmed by the report, saying that he had it “well hidden.”

13 gallons of paint. That's how much paint I will have used when I finish painting my condo from top to bottom. That breaks down to, 4 gallons of primer 3 gallons of ceiling paint 1 gallon of shiny white for doors, vanity, etc. 1 gallon of yellow for bathroom 1 gallon of green for kitchen 1 gallon of light beige for living room and hallway 2 gallons of light blue for bedroom.

Wow, what an inflammatory issue! If you are against allowing illegal aliens into the country, you are automatically seen as a racist in the minds of some people. As a candidate and a citizen, here is my view. It is true that aliens are doing jobs that no one else wants to do. It is also true, that someone (already a citizen) would do these jobs, if they were paid enough. (Note* - At one time, I cleaned out the insides of asphalt tankers because the pay was good.) It is true that aliens contribute to society as workers and consumers. It is also true that they are not paying taxes, and they are using services such as medical and education, that are funded by (mostly property) tax money. With the current threat to National Security, no foreign person should be allowed to bypass immigration laws. There is also a limit to how many people can immigrate at one time without bogging down services and competing for jobs and housing. There are poor people already in the USA that need help to...

April 11, 2006 Cycle 1, Blue Planet Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting Once again, I have returned to the Blue Planet in search of any remoflactions of Intelligent Life. My last two visits were inconclusive, though most of my observations lead me to believe that there are no higher forms of intelligence here. I disguised myself in the synthetic/plant material coverings that the dominant species use to cover themselves with. My plan was to once again, move about the communal living spaces where the bipedal beings tend to congregate. They were, of course, still utilizing the two-way radio devices that are frequently seen being held close to their auditory canals. They were also still traveling in quad-rolling transports. I’ve noticed that procreation seems to be handled by two very different members of the same species –much like the Pilmorai of Vindis 8. Unlike the Pilmorai though, the close connection between the sexes is not always harmonious. The two divisions seem bent on disag...

What spills out of the writer at 4:30AM? If I Could If I could make it better, I would. If I could make you love me, I would. If I could walk away, I would. But I can't. The only reason it matters, is because I care.

Yesterday (and again this morning), I heard on the news that the Bush Administration is considering air-strikes against Iran, to stop that country from potentially creating nuclear weapons. This, in my opinion, would be, starting a war, to try to prevent a potential threat. The story continued, saying that the US (I disagree, so isn’t it ironic that US doesn’t mean us?) may use tactical nuclear weapons in these air-strikes, to bust through the bunkers that the nuclear buildup is taking place in. This, in my opinion, would be starting a nuclear war, to try to prevent a potential nuclear threat. Does anyone see the irony in this??? In the past, I have talked about running for president. http://cutris.blogspot.com/2005/06/story-of-kevins-shack.html http://cutris.blogspot.com/2005/11/cutris-announces-candidacy.html I have also disapproved of the policies of our current administration. http://cutris.blogspot.com/2006/02/state-of-union.html http://cutris.blogspot.com/2005/11/disassociati...

Who's Bladge??? If you've watched the Clint Eastwood movie, "The Outlaw Josey Wales," there is a scene where Josey is held at gunpoint by two would-be bounty hunters. Throughout the scene, one of these men continuously tells the other to shut-up. It is hard to determine what the name is he is saying after repeating "shut-up," but it sounds like he's saying "Bladge." I finally looked the scene up at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TbtTaHrIHI In the film, Abe pulls his gun on Josey: "I've got him, Lije." "It's him, Abe. It's him! We've got the Josey Wales, Abe! I've seen him ride side by side with Bloody Bill, Abe. We've got reward money coming. Watch it, Abe. He's mean as a rattler and twice as fast with them pistols." Abe tells Josey to "Move on back; move on back!" Lije comes up with more warnings: "Watch him, Abe! I've seen him do some things? "Shut up, Lije" A...

We have intruder drills at the school. We've had two so far over the year. Both have been first hour, because as everyone knows, intruders only come to schools during first hour… My experience was as follows. The Office Grand Pooba told me to lock the mailroom door because there was going to be an intruder drill. I was working in the copy room at the time. If a real intruder shows up, I wonder if I will have advanced notice to lock the door? When the announcement came to start the drill, I was unable to hear it so I kept working until someone turned the lights out on me! I found “safe refuge,” in a conference room and made myself comfortable. That was when it happened! The all clear was given –which I couldn’t hear in the safety of the conference room. I did notice the lights were turned on though. Realizing that an intruder would be unable to locate the light switch, I decided it was safe. I have also decided that when I am told that I have to spend part of my shift at the entran...

I've heard rumors of some changes at the school. The possibility exists that I might spend part of the day at the door to check in visitors. Apparently it is something that used to be done, was stopped due to budget cuts, and is needed again because of recent intruders/threats. Anyway, it doesn't sound very enjoyable to sit at the door with nothing to do. Besides, if someone walks in with an AK47, what am I supposed to do about it if I'm not armed? It's probably time for a new job...

Sometimes when you find something that seems truly wonderful, you pursue it. If you really want it, you will go through many difficulties to finally get it. Eventually, it can become too much trouble with too little to show for it. Maybe you realize that it was a one-sided venture, or maybe you decide it isn't worth the time, heartache and effort anymore. That’s when you lose interest.

The Rutles http://www.rutles.org/rstory.html Especially funny after seeing the Beatles documentary. 84 Charlie Mopic http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=69914 The Vietnam War through the lens of an 8mm movie camera. It feels like you are there.

Painting... Pain ting... P aint ing Painting P a inting Pain ting

Spring Break is over, and I'm back at the school in the detention room. How quickly we fall out of the routine. I could use another breakfast and a cup of coffee right now. Then I would be ready to paint! Speaking of painting, I think my bathroom is done. I will check how it dried today. Then I move to the kitchen. There was much work to do, and much of my time off was spent washing glue off walls, spackling and sanding. When I'm done, the whole place will be freshly painted! I'm so glad I could do this before I moved in! At work, there was a new copier this morning. It is a Xerox 4110. It is about the size of a compact car. I was already using it when the Office Grand Pooba ran in to see if I was doing it right. It's funny how machines like that seem to be built so that you can figure them out without the help of a bossy person. I'm sure it cost a buttload of money, but with the electricity and paper that will be saved, it is worth it. The old copier jammed about ...

Cutris Finds Meaning of Life UnAssociated Press March 28, 2006 It was reported today, that Cutris has found the true meaning of life. He found it under a piece of bark lying against some moss near a cottonwood tree by the river. He is fiercely guarding the secret, while preparing his next move. Some say he will give it to the world as his legacy. Others claim he is planning to sell the secret on eBay. Whatever he intends to do with the secret, remains a secret.

I am into the beginning of Spring Break. I have seven days away from the detention kids. I've been working on my condo. Yesterday I installed a new light in the bathroom, and I finished removing the last of the wallpaper. Today I will be scrubbing glue off of the walls and prepping them for painting. As I go along, it becomes a bigger job because I see more things that I want to do. The bedroom had a (fairly) fresh coat of white paint in it, and I thought I might be able to live with that room the way it is. Then, yesterday, I decided that I might as well paint that one (blue) too. If I have to go through all the work of removing wallpaper, scrubbing, spackling and sanding in three other rooms and a hallway, how much trouble would it be to paint over the bedroom? I guess I better get to work. Isn't Spring Break great?

I had a nice evening out last night, and I woke up happy. Not even the evil-one, the office Grand Pooba 1 could ruin my morning. Spring Break starts tomorrow! 1 the office Grand Pooba: A (late) middle-aged woman who has an over-zealous need to be bossy and get in everyone’s business.

I hate wallpaper. I have been removing it for a couple of hours each day. Currently I'm using a steamer to get the crap off of the walls. Then, I have to scrub the glue off. Then, it is time to spackle and sand. Eventually, I hope to mask and paint. Fortunately I have a week off for spring break (next week). Wallpaper sucks. Especially old wallpaper from the 1970's. When I'm done though, my condo will look wonderful!

Any questions?

Vikings are UnDaunted By Cutris March 15, 2006 The Minnesota Vikings traded Daunte Culpepper yesterday, for two boxes of Gatorade cups. Clodhopper had been injured last season, and soon after, the Vikings began to win. Despite his injury, losing season and legal troubles off the field, Daunte Clodhopper decided to ask for a raise in his already rather large salary, and he also indicated that he wanted to be traded. He got his wish, and if he passes his physical, he will be playing for the Miami Dolphins. Culpepper was part of a two-part strategy designed under former coach Dennis Green and former owner Red McCombs. They thought that a team, could be made up of just two players; Daunte Culpepper and Randy “I play when I want to” Moss. Randy Moss was also traded due to his idiotic and completely disrespectful nature. Once he was gone though, Clodhopper seemed lost. He kept looking for Moss down the field, and didn’t seem to understand that Randy had been traded. When asked about the tr...

I didn’t have any problem with invading Iraq, simply because Iraqi president/dictator Saddam Hussein ignored/disregarded the peace accords that stopped the first Gulf War. Since the second conflict, the USA has ignored/disregarded the two primary objectives, which were, to remove Saddam Hussein from power, and find Weapons of Mass Destruction. These objectives were met rather quickly (especially since WMD weren’t found). The USA is remarkably good at invading and disabling another country. What no country is good at is occupation. We should have learned that during the Vietnam Conflict. Obviously the lesson was lost. Iraq is on the verge of a civil war. Indeed, they might need to have one in order to stabilize the country and establish a dominant order. Foreign influence is prolonging this from happening. Eventually, the USA will have to leave Iraq. Likely, not much will have been settled at that point, that wasn’t settled long before. In short, we will have accomplished very little o...

I got a call just before I left for work this morning. It seems the rather significant snowstorm caused school to be cancelled. I've already gone to the county offices to homestead my condo. I can get some work done on it today too! It is quite beautiful outside!

Since I just bought a condominium, I’ve been removing wallpaper and working on the place. The other day I decided to sweep my deck. I live on the second floor. As I swept the dirt into a pile, I heard swearing below me and someone shouted, “great now I’ll have more shit down here!” Then they slammed their sliding door shut. I was somewhat stunned, but I finished sweeping the dirt into a dust pan and threw it in my garbage. The people below me, have an “illegal” dog. There aren’t suppose to be dogs in my building, but “someone” barks down there. This same person put up an “annonymous” note about not sweeping your deck down for first level to pickup. I don’t know what occurred before I moved in, but I finally got sick of seeing this note over the mailboxes, so I put a post-it note on it that says, "This is legitimate. Thank you. But be careful you aren't barking up the wrong tree. I for one, use a dust pan."

Today I am buying a condo.

Back on December 2, 1942, in Chicago, man first initiated a self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction, and controlled it. July 16, 1945, the first (manmade) nuclear explosion in history took place in New Mexico, at the Alamogordo Test Range, on the Jornada del Muerto (Journey of Death) desert -in the test named “Trinity.” On August 6 and 9, 1945, the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were destroyed by the United States, with the first atomic bombs ever used in warfare. Since then, many countries have developed nuclear power for both weapons and for more positive purposes, such as to produce electricity. Thankfully, nuclear weapons are not being used –due to their devastating powers. Such weapons do exist in great numbers, however. The fear that someone may once again use nuclear weapons is as great now as it has ever been. With countries such as North Korea and more recently, Iran, now having achieved the technology, the more developed countries who already possess this power, are...

Why do gas prices change so often? One employee of a SuperAmerica told me that corporate tells them to raise the price, and then lower it when the other stations follow. Since then, I have observed that all the SuperAmerica stores raise their prices at the same time, and by the following day, they usually lower them again. I hate companies that play games like that.

When I go into the woods, I watch the wildlife and frequently, the animals/birds are doing things that contradict the books that were written by "experts." I always attribute that to the animals not having read the books.

Just kidding!

You can find the latest review of my book, "He-Who-Goes-First," at Alison Woo's website, http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/fascinating-new-book.html http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/

UnAssociated Press Cutris was recognized today, for his stellar achievement in inventing the most innovative and important invention to date, known to mankind. This invention is thought to have far reaching implications and rivals such other super-inventions, such as, the light bulb, the wheel, the computer chip and beer. No doubt, you will be hearing more about this marvelous invention in the days to come. Cutris could not be reached for comment at the time this story was printed. It is thought that he was busy working in his “inventing shed.”

Yesterday I was watching the news when a story came on that blew me away! Apparently not only is the security of some of the United States’ seaports managed by people from foreign countries, but there is a pending sale for a United Arab Emirates-based company to run six of our ports. There was (of course) a call of racism, and that anyone should be allowed to have the security contract. Perhaps while we’re at it, we should bring in some Al-Qaeda personnel to work as Secret Service agents, to guard the President. Personally, I don’t want anyone who isn’t an American, running the security of anything as important as a seaport. I don’t care if the company is Canadian, we should set a precedent that no foreign entities can run our ports. This is simply a no-brainer as far as I’m concerned. Do we want real security, or should we just hand over the keys to the White House to the highest bidder? Finally, I have this to say… don’t make me run for President, because I will! And when I win, th...

For perhaps the first time ever, my left eye may have better vision than my right eye. This is due to the LASIK enhancement that I underwent on Friday. It got me wondering if this will cause my body/personality to adjust to this new situation. My left eye droops a bit more than the right, and my right eye always had better vision –though both eyes were visually impaired and I needed glasses or contact lenses until my original LASIK treatment a year ago. When I think of my left side/half/hemisphere, I feel that it is more sensitive, neurotic and creative, while my right side has always been clearly superior in strength and agility. While I am left-eyed, my eye surgeon did some basic tests to determine “eyed-ness” on me, and I am truly ambidextrous. I shoot right handed, so I generally aim with the right eye. Now, after having my eyes corrected, it seems that my left eye may actually end up with better vision. This is of course, once the eye fully recovers from the laser surgery. I beg...

Yesterday I had my LASIK enhancement in my left eye. They told me I wouldn’t go completely blind this time, which was true. I was able to watch through the eye they were working on. The corneal flap never heals all the way, though apparently it sticks down pretty tight -as I watched the doctor pull it back up with a tiny forceps. The actual laser treatment took seconds this time. My evening after the procedure was much like before. It felt like I had something in my eye and the tears flowed for several hours. This morning my eyelid is swollen, but my vision is great and my post-op exam went well. Would I do it again? Yes. I would do the initial and the enhancement again if I could have my vision the way it is now. As I said before though, when you are lying on the table with your cornea opened up, it’s good to know you have the best doctor and team. I would still recommend going to the best, not the cheapest.

Tomorrow I go for a LASIK enhancement. I had my original eye surgery a year ago, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but well worth it. I just need the left eye fixed a little bit more. I was apprehensive about the process, and thought about it for a couple of years. I finally decided to do it and a friend told me about his doctor. I went to the same place. It wasn’t cheap, but I would recommend finding the best not the cheapest for something like this. The process is quite interesting; as they open the cornea and then burn (with a laser) the inside layers to the desired shape. Then they put the flap of cornea back down and it eventually heals on its own. It is a bit unnerving when the cornea is opened and you essentially go blind. Eventually you smell burning flesh. This wasn’t something I wanted to do again, but when it’s over I should see quite well out of both eyes. http://www.mneye.com/ps_lasik.aspx

I got to hangout with a bunch of seventh graders for three days of fieldtrips. On Wednesday, we went to Richardson Nature Center. http://www.threeriversparkdistrict.org/outdoor_ed/center_richardson.cfm Among the activities there, we were introduced to the three resident raptors. There was an American Kestrel, a Red-Tailed Hawk and a Barred Owl. All were injured or otherwise unable to return to the wild. The kids were also instructed on how to set up a tarp and start a fire to survive in the Minnesota winter. In this, they had varied success. The three groups with me ranged from the “hill people,” who tried to accomplish this on an incline and used all their matches trying to light sticks, to the meticulous group who thought they were doing poorly who lit a nice fire with one match. Note* the hill people would have frozen to death. On Thursday we went to the Wildlife Science Center. http://www.wildlifesciencecenter.org/ Bob the guy who did the program was excellent. Among the interestin...

I am going on three fieldtrips with the seventh graders for the next three days. It's all about natural history, wildlife and survival. It should be good. At least I'll be out of detention!

George W. Bush gave his State of the Union speech last evening. It brings up one question. If you talk out of your ass a lot, do you end up with hemorrhoids?

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we thought they would. Actually, I’ve found that happens a lot. It can be really sad or frustrating for awhile, but with each one of these events, there are new experiences. Perhaps the timing was an issue, or maybe it was a clash of priorities. If I gave my best, I can take comfort in the realization that it was beyond my control. Maybe it will come around again or maybe not. That can’t be my primary focus. There are nearly always positives that come along with the negatives. Things that were locked out of reach in one scenario may suddenly become possible again. Two things are important in life. One is love, and the other is trying to do the right thing. We can’t always be successful at this all the time, but it is important to try. Other people and other forces can sometimes get in the way. Then we have to look for that positive side and move ahead into the next grand experience. Today I am a little sad, greatly relieved and hopefully-optimist...

Funny... since I embraced the nickname of "Bald Eagle," that a couple of the detention kids gave me, I haven't heard them use it much! I wonder why??? Here is a picture of me with my eagle statue, thanks to my coworker Kim for being thoughtful enough to bring it in.

I still think I need to teach a comedy class at the school. The kids think they're funny, but they aren't. Their timing is all wrong. I had to tell one that he couldn't talk in detention. Then I had to tell him he couldn't sing. Finally I had to tell him he couldn't drum. He was wearing a suit for some reason, and he asked me if it was against the rules to look good, because he might have to leave. I told him he wouldn't have to worry about that! insert cymbal crash! ( That’s good timing!) Then he sneered at me. Eventually, I kicked him out of detention to the office because he didn't know how to shut-up.

Some of the regular trouble-makers at the Jr. High where I work, have come up with the (super creative) name for me, "Bald Eagle." It is actually rather appropriate (though I'm sure they meant to be disrespectful) because as a volunteer park ranger in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge, much of my reporting to the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service is about birds of prey, and Bald Eagles in particular. I am considering hanging a poster of a Bald Eagle in the detention room where I work. For now, I have printed the eagle picture from my November archives, and put it on the bulletin board behind me.

Yesterday I had the day off from work. When my original plans crashed, I got to do one of my favorite things. I went into the woods to do my park ranger job. I hiked the west end of Wilkie, which is open in the winter. This section of the wildlife refuge is closed March through August, as it is home to a large colony of Great Blue Herons and egrets. Now, as the leaves are gone from the trees, it is quite impressive to see the hundreds of nests. I think since this area is closed for so much of the year, it is wilder than some other places. I saw four Red-Tailed Hawks (who were very vocal) before I walked up on an opossum. Shortly after that, I heard the metallic sound of Bald Eagles, and I saw two of them in the trees close by. I headed through the woods, avoiding the trail as much as possible. I found a bird-kill site. The black feathers with white spots made me think that perhaps it was a woodpecker that met its demise. A short time later, I found a deer carcass. It was interesting si...

I saw a big full moon when I was driving in to work this morning! This confirms my suspicions about (Moron Week) yesterday's post.

The (Jr. High) detention room where I work has been extremely busy lately. I haven’t encountered such quantities before. Mostly, it is kids who are completely without respect for anyone. An adult (who’s supposed to be in charge) like myself, can give a directive and the answer is openly defiant. They prefer to refuse and escalate the situation rather than comply. I don’t accept that behavior and will move to the next appropriate level. Having some experience working with those who have served time behind bars, I can’t really see any good things for these kids unless they wakeup at some point. This week’s list of offenses is astounding, and even the school police liaison officer has been involved. When I went to public school, teachers and administration regularly hit students. While I’m not in favor of such things in general, I wonder if the tide has turned too much. These kids know that no one is allowed to lay a hand on them. As a result, they have no healthy respect for either autho...

Even though there is ice on most of the lakes in Minnesota right now, I have been daydreaming about fishing for Pike in warmer weather. That's me with a nice Pike from The summer before last. Usually, out of the guys in the band, Dave catches more fish and since he fishes more, it's probably the way it should be. But last summer, on one particular excursion, Pete caught the 36 inch, 11 pound Pike. I got nothing that day, and Dave is over on the right holding up... a minnow? No, I guess it's a small Pike that is being dwarfed by "Pete's giant wanker fish." http://www.petesgiantwankerfish.net My appologies to all the "Walleye or nothing" snobs out there, but Pike fight hard and they taste good.

Kid's Name is in Detention all day today and Wednesday. As near as I can tell, he finished all of his outstanding detentions and must have started missing me, so he tackled some other kid in the hallway to get an in-school-suspension just to hang out with me! Last Friday he got kicked out of detention for fighting over "his seat." Kid's Name is a regular, and very attached to a particular seat in the room. He is in a different seat right now, expanding his horizons... I have also trained Kid's Name to enter and leave my room without swinging on the door frame. I did this by telling him I would give him an (unprecedented) five (5) detentions if he ever swung on the door frame again. I asked him if he could do it and he said he didn't think so. I reached back and got a detention form and asked him if I should put his name on it now. When the bell rang, he ended up leaving like a normal person! It's these little victories...

I am continually amazed at how everything seems to run counterproductive to everything else. I work at a school, and I also have a close friend who is constantly driving her children to and from sporting activities and school functions. When I was a kid, we hopped on a school bus and were transported to the next school for sporting events. Our parents did not need to drive us or attend each outing. This undoubtedly saved time and fuel. Now, due to budget cuts, schools have shifted the burden onto parents who must drive to faraway places with great frequency. Though the global idea is supposed to be to save fuel, all of these mini-vans must be using considerably more gas than the single bus was. Still, the school saves and taxes don’t go up –though we use more gas and parents spend more money. At the school I work at, I noticed that everything at lunch is throwaway. Nothing is recycled. The trays are Styrofoam and the “sporks” are plastic. All are thrown away. Each of the three lunches...

One of my coworkers was gruesomely murdered last Friday. Since I work at a school, the students are also upset. The news media has been relentless in describing the details of the horrible death in an attempt to outdo all the other media outlets with gory details. This isn't how we wanted to remember our coworker. It is a very sad story, and all of us are upset by this and the news coverage.