The thoughts of a writer.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Michael Jackson Has Been Arrested!!!

If you've heard of the numerous cowardly attacks on individuals in St. Paul recently, you might be interested to know that Michael Jackson has been arrested!

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How's Your Day Going?


Thursday, January 29, 2015

Getting High at Work

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Tuesday, January 27, 2015

New England Hit by Winter Storm

I understand that there is a winter storm in New England right now. About 12 years ago, someone told me the winters in New England were quite mild. Apparently that is just not true. If you live on the east coast, however, never fear! The New England Patriots have been called in to deflate the storm! Help is on the way!
I have to go outside now. It's been so nice out here in the Midwest lately.

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Spring Cougar Scent

Now in new Spring Cougar Scent!

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Monday, January 26, 2015

Teddy Bear Band

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Friday, January 23, 2015

Dad Turns to Youtube to Report Snapchat Bullies

This dad is paying attention to what happens to his kids. You have to like what he did; and you have to wonder about the people who caused him to have to do it.

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Washed-Up Rockstar Anti-Energy Drink

If you've heard of or use Rockstar Energy Drinks, you might be interested to know that they now have a new product called, Washed-Up Rockstar Anti-Energy Drink! Now, if you are too energetic, you can enjoy this sensational new drink! Made with all-natural Tap water, cheap whiskey and quaaludes, this drink will knock you out for hours!

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Thursday, January 22, 2015

Star Trek XII: Make It So #12!

Suppose Captain Picard from Star Trek was unable to locate "Number 1". Would he have to resort to "Number 2?"

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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

New England's Balls Under-Inflated!

Let's face it. Ball deflation is a serious (and sometimes embarrassing) topic! When I heard that the New England Patriots won their championship game with under-inflated balls I was astounded! "Were all of their balls under-inflated?" I asked. "11 out of 12" I was told. Hmmmm... There are 11 men on the field from each team; so that means only one of them had properly inflated balls? And they still won the game? While I was thinking about my own balls and how upset I would be if one of them deflated, I began to marvel that the Patriots had won the game so decisively! I mean if someone was going to cheat, I would think poorly inflated balls would be a difficult thing to pull off! Would you have some reverse-inflation gadget in the protective cup? Now I could see if it was the Patriots who were trying to deflate the balls of the Indianapolis Colts, because after living briefly in New England I developed the impression that the Mafia was involved in almost everything. But how would the Colts have gotten away with it? At any rate, I have to give the Patriots a lot of credit—because if my own balls were ever deflated, I don't think I would be worried about a football game—even if it was for a championship! So out of the 11 guys, which one of the Patriots had his balls correctly inflated? Wait a minute! 11 out of 12??? There are only 11 men on the field! This is more confusing now! Are we talking about sets? Then we would have 22 right? And then there was something about separate balls for kicking??? Are you serious? Getting kicked in the balls is not fun!!! Man these guys play dirty!

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State of the Union: Condensed Version

Biden got the joke;
why didn't Boehner?
Here is the condensed version of last night's State of the Union Speech given by President Barack Obama.
"Things aren't perfect, but they are a lot better—and we're headed in the right direction. Tax the wealthiest 1% yada yada, blazay blazay."
The short version of the Republican Response is,
Things aren't better and we're headed in the wrong direction. We will undo everything that the Obama administration has done yada yada, nebuchadnezzar, over and out."


Change is Good

Sometimes those who cry loudest for change, should try to change themselves.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Happy Birthday to Quatro-Pint!

25 Today!

Black Lives Matter?

Yesterday as I watched a news feed about Black Lives Matter marching in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I wondered if Dr. King would approve of them blocking the light rail system? I also found it ironic that since the police were the focus of their protest, that the police were keeping the protesters off of Interstate 94—which had they gotten on the freeway (like they have before), could have resulted in a lethal and tragic situation.

Then I formed a question in my mind. Do black lives really matter to this group? What I mean is, I could show numerous black on black deadly violence incidents that have occurred—yet the only ones that seem to matter to Black Lives Matter are the proportionally smaller number that have occurred when police have used deadly force.

My question: If there are two black lives and one black life shoots and kills the other one, does this matter? Does the loss of life only matter when it is during a struggle with police or does it matter even if the killer is also black? I only ask because no one is (still) addressing the issue that lots of African-Americans die violently—at the hands of other African-Americans.

Having worked within social services for a time, I still believe that the means to solving the big picture problem, is to have strong families, buy into the idea that education is key to success; and changing attitudes that set a pattern of crime and poverty.

But then, this whole issue is about pursuing the small picture viewpoint. It isn't really about changing society for the better is it? Nobody really wants the change if they have to change themselves. They just want the police to change.

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Monday, January 19, 2015

Showering Daily: A White People Thing?

Did you hear about this "big scandal" when someone named Naya Rivera said that showering daily is such a white people thing? I guess a lot of people were pretty upset about it and I'm not sure if I should have been! I mean, white people only have the opportunity to get upset (publicly) about openly anti-white remarks (see: racism) about once every 57 years—so did I miss my one and only chance??? But I wasn't offended. I don't think there is anything wrong with showering daily. Or was it the people who (supposedly) don't shower a lot who are mad? Because I have known some white people that really could up the frequency of their showering a few ticks... This is really confusing! I'm not feeling upset but from what I understand, an awful lot of people were/are! Who are they? Do they shower or not? And what about this Naya Rivera person? Is she kind of stinky? How did this whole thing come up anyway? Oh yeah... The View. So do they ever talk about any important things? This seems so dumb! It's dumb isn't it? Yeah, it must be dumb.

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Martin Luther King Jr. Day

On this Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, what if all protests were peaceful? What if it wasn't assumed that all things are racially motivated? What if everyone tried to work for the common good?

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Friday, January 16, 2015

Your Bank Might Be Lying

Your bank might be lying to you. My bank (TCF) was lying to me for years! I have two accounts. One is a checking account and used for paying for things. The other is a savings account used for saving money. For years, numerous bank employees have told me the "best" place for my savings was in a checking account—even though I was not using the checking features. Recently, precipitated by a letter that told of impending reductions in services—unless I paid additional fees, I found one woman from TCF (customer service via phone) who told me different. She actually tried to find what was best for me and not TCF. So with her recommendations, I went to my local branch to change my accounts. I was met with some serious opposition! The people there did not want to change my accounts and tried to come up with numerous reasons that I should not. None of the reasons actually pertained to my personal situation or needs. I persisted and made the changes. The first monthly statement I received showed that the interest I was now receiving with my savings account that was a savings account (not a checking account) was nearly double from what I was receiving in the past! This, even though I was shown in writing that the interest would be the same if I kept my old account! Unscrupulous? Yes! So why would my bank do this? The best answer came from a colleague of mine whose mother is a bank branch manager. He said that the branches are rated by a point system. They do not get the same number of points for a savings account as they do for a checking account. Also, he said that to close a checking account would reflect negative points on the branch. The bottom-line is that everyone I talked to for years and at multiple branches gave me misguided information in order to serve their own purposes—instead of truthfully answering my questions in order to help me to get the best deal. Don't trust banks!

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

If Your Kid's Sick Keep Him Home.

My wife and I have missed work, lost sleep, paid co-pays and worst of all, my son has been seriously ill and needed to go to the ER. This will be the sixth time this has happened and it always starts with the same people who don't want to take off work themselves and so bring their sick kids to daycare. If your kid is sick, stay home with him.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Charlie Hebdo

Good job.

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Monday, January 12, 2015

The Past Few Days

Cold Temperatures
Horrible Driving Conditions
Sick Child

I'll be back soon...

Thursday, January 08, 2015

MN Smoking Cessation

See video to learn how to quit smoking the Minnesota way.

All you need to do, is go outside there in the blowing snow and subzero temperatures with the (even more) subzero windchill and have yourself a smoke. Once you're done, you won't want to do it again for a while.

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CuTRis' Butt Now Owns Cleveland

CuTRis' Butt Now Owns Cleveland
UnAssociated Press
January 8, 2015

Reports out of Cleveland this morning are that CuTRis' Butt now owns that (particular) city in Ohio. CuTRis, who claims the public will believe anything that they read or see on TV, said his butt bought the entire city for $1.85 and a bit of old wire that he found in a parking lot next to Walmart. Speculation is that CuTRis' butt will use the site to build a parking ramp.

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Radical Islam and Religious Infancy

The murders of the shootings in Paris yesterday and the atrocities committed daily by ISIS (or whatever they’re called now) and Al-Qaeda are showing that in a large part of the modern world, Islam is still in its infancy. This was the case for Christianity hundreds of years ago with such things as the Spanish Inquisition; but Christianity has matured and at least a significant portion of Islam has not. In fact, with the beheadings, slavery, torture and murder, it is every bit as backward as it was when it was first invented.

So now we live in a world where a certain group of people who have a warped and unrefined mode of thinking, have grabbed a religious notion and attached their own brand of 2000 year old values to it—which includes massive inhumanities inflicted on all who do not prescribe to this outdated religious doctrine. Combine this with the fact that even supposedly modern and mature westerners seem to revel in primitive contests of fighting and brutality. Perhaps humanity as a whole could use some maturity.

When I was a young child, I remember getting into a fight with another boy. He had called my mom something bad. Of course, my mom was concerned that I had gotten into a fight and so I told her that I hit the kid because he had called her something bad! She responded by saying, “why would I care what that kid called me?” Indeed, this was a mature outlook but even at that young age, I could see the logic in the argument. The people who embrace radical Islam are extremely dangerous; because they are behaving without the restraint of adults, while using lethal actions. The sooner the people of the world unite and destroy this infection, the better. When one cannot tolerate a political cartoon and kills multiple people over it, that is not a realistic or mature reaction—and it should not be tolerated.

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Wednesday, January 07, 2015

CuTRis' Butt Now Owns Canada

CuTRis' Butt Now Owns Canada
UnAssociated Press
January 7, 2015

Reports out today confirm that CuTRis' butt now owns Canada. Apparently Canada was purchased for $3 (US) and a 5 oz. wedge of mozzarella cheese. CuTRis' butt has not said what it will do with Canada—though rumor is that it wants to close the country. Speculation is that CuTRis' butt wants to sell it for development. CuTRis' butt was unavailable for comment at the time this story was printed.

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-31 Wind Chill

Right now in the Twin Cities it is -9 degrees Fahrenheit with a -31 wind chill.

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All the President's Oil

Recently, I've heard Republicans blaming President Obama for low gas prices! Hey! Wait a minute! Didn't they bash him for high gas prices not so long ago??? So what about when prices were in-between high and low? Was anyone saying, "Nice job Barack! Prices are at the 'just right' level!"
My thought is, that the President (by himself) has little to do with gas/oil prices, though the government (as a whole) may have significant influence. So why do people say these stupid ass things anyway? Well, probably because if you get on TV (or in the media) saying just about anything, people will be dumb enough to believe it. More so, some people will choose to treat it as truth even if it isn't—in order to further their own agenda. This could include the President changing oil prices; or even the idea that white cops shoot black people at an alarming rate. Even though these things are not true, once it is said, some people will hold it as the truth.

I have a plan to go on TV and say that my butt has purchased Canada for $3 (US) and a 5 oz. wedge of mozzarella cheese. I think I can get at least 50% of the population to believe it and 15% more who will choose to believe it. That means well over half of the people will think my butt owns Canada! Well... now I can see why this is so much fun!

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Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Black Ice Matters

Start with temperatures that are subzero. Then add a small coating of snow. The road chemicals don't work (because of the excessive cold) and then you combine the recipe with the exhaust from hundreds of vehicles. What do you get? You get black ice! Now I don't like discriminating between white ice or black ice. It's all just ice right? Ice is slippery and cars slide on it. But we must remember that Black Ice Matters! Even if you don’t see it, you must slow down to avoid disaster! Plan on your drive taking twice as long as it normally does! Also make sure to cooperate with any plows, emergency vehicles or police officers who are trying to help! Be safe!

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Monday, January 05, 2015

The Holidays Were Happy!

The holidays were (mostly) happy. I did very little online, though I was able to do a little writing and editing. I’m hoping to release a new novel soon and I also have a parody/comedy I just started that’s in the works.
Over the last couple of weeks we celebrated my son’s birthday and Christmas and my mother and father in-law’s birthdays. We attended “Winter Fun Day” at the wildlife refuge and we painted our upstairs bathroom. Oh there was more, there was much more—but I just hit the highlights.
There was also some sadness. My almost uncle (my aunt’s longtime boyfriend) passed away at the end of the year. His name was Dick; and he always had a smile on his face. Last summer at a family party in the party room at his apartment building, he was giving my son rides on his mobility scooter that he used to get around on. He was a nice guy. While thinking of my other friend Dick who is also a nice guy, I realized that some of the nicest people I know are Dicks!
Well, Happy 2015 Everyone!

It's Cold!

-11 degrees Fahrenheit


Protest For Cops Being Shot

I'm busy right now protesting because too many police officers are being shot to death. Cops lives matter.