The thoughts of a writer.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

No Loitering



This is what I saw beneath the new "No Loitering" signs outside the strip mall (in St. Paul) as I drove past yesterday. This is common everyday, and the scene continued under each of the other signs posted.

Labels:

Monday, April 29, 2013

Remember?

Do you remember that time when you were being a total puss,
and I was being great?

I do.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Doomed to Failure


Due to a general lack of intelligence being distributed, this company unfortunately went out of business...

Labels:

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Soap Dispenser Creates New CuTRis Scandal

Soap Dispenser Creates New CuTRis Scandal
UnAssociated Press
April 25, 2013



 
CuTRis was back in the news in another of his many scandals--this one involving a soap dispenser. Apparently CuTRis pressed it twice, and ended up getting two portions of soap. Will he ever learn?

Labels:

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

My Son on his Sled




Careening recklessly down the mountain--with no fear on his face...

Labels: ,

Winter 5.0

I know it is supposed to be Spring, but each snowfall seems more beautiful than the one before. Last week Larry said we were on our fourth winter, so I think this must be at least version 5.0. I took these photos this morning.


Labels: , ,

Monday, April 22, 2013

More Deer






Happy
Earth Day!

Labels: ,

Low T



Could you be suffering from Low T?

I suggest standing on a chair and moving your T to a higher location.

Friday, April 19, 2013

April Snow in Pictures


Here is the woods after yesterday's April snowfall. The robins aren't quite as loud today as they have been recently.

Labels: ,

I Love Spring!



The birds are shining, the Sun is chirping! All those April Showers has everything ready to bloom!!!

Labels: ,

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Here We Snow Again!

Labels:

Owl and Deer





Here is what me and Larry saw today during our Noon walk.

Labels: ,

Paul Kevin Curtis

is no relation!
This post will self-destruct in 24 hours.

UPDATE 4/23/2013 - Charges Dropped Against Paul Kevin Curtis

CuTRis in Trouble with Teapot Police

CuTRis in Trouble with Teapot Police
UnAssociated Press
April 18, 2013


CuTRis is apparently involved in another of his many scandals! Today the Teapot Police are questioning CuTRis about filling his wife's new teapot past the maximum fill line! CuTRis said his wife (who also disobeys the rules) told him to do it because she wanted extra hot water.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Do Birds Worry about "Human Flu?"

Click on picture to enlarge. Click "back" to go back.

Labels:

Borg Epilogue

CuTRis came out with an extra $75 due to his lottery scratch off winnings. Larry came out $50 ahead because he got the government bailout on his $87 Billion loan and he also got $50 for scrap metal when he recycled the Borg cube. Everyone was happy!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Larry Fired from AIG

Larry Fired from AIG
UnAssociated Press
April 16, 2013

Larry was fired today as CEO of AIG International Group. His salary was $200 Million per minute, and he apparently didn't know what to do with all of that money so he opened a savings account. When the (AIG) Board of Directors heard about this, they immediately fired Larry for showing financial responsibility.

Labels:

Larry's mismanagement of Funds Lands him as CEO of AIG

Larry's mismanagement of Funds Lands him as CEO of AIG
UnAssociated Press
April 16, 2013


CEO Larry
Larry's total mismanagement of money has landed him a job as CEO of AIG International Group. His borrowing of $87 Billion to pay CuTRis for the Borg cube he totaled, was "the gutsiest financial move ever!" according to the (AIG) Board of Directors. Larry's new position also made possible for him to receive a government bailout resulting in him no longer having any financial responsibility for his $87 Billion loan.

Labels:

To Those Who Bombed Boston Marathon

You have made your reservations to hell.

Labels:

Mishap Destroys Borg Cube

Mishap Destroys Borg Cube
UnAssociated Press

April 16, 2013



Larry's Cube

Apparently Larry had some "great" idea to use the Borg Cube to go back in time and deposit ten dollars and change into a bank millions of years ago so he would have the money to pay for the $87 Billion he gave CuTRis to buy it. Not only didn't his plan work, but he also crashed into Past Larry's Borg Cube that was parked in his spot! He totalled them both!


Past Larry's Cube
 

Labels: ,

Monday, April 15, 2013

CuTRis Sells Borg Cube

CuTRis sells Borg Cube
UnAssociated Press
April 15, 2013


CuTRis has sold the Borg Cube to Larry for $87 Billion. After the sale, CuTRis used the $87 Billion to buy lottery scratch off tickets. CuTRis was reportedly very happy because he won $75 with winning tickets!

Labels: , , ,

Borg Cube for Sale

For Sale - Slightly Used Borg Cube - Mileage = 192 Trillion Light Years Plus Time travel - Loaded! - Capacity of 9,856 Passengers

$87 Billion

Contact CuTRis


Used Borg Cube $87 Billion

Labels: , ,

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Borg are Playing Guitar and Drinking Beer!

Borg are Playing Guitar and Drinking Beer!
UnAssociated Press
April 14, 2013


Recent reports from numerous sources regarding Borg activity have all been similar--and seem to indicate that CuTRis has most likely assimilated them! Borg have been seen playing pool, singing, playing guitars and drinking beer! CuTRis is said to still be among them but he is no longer wearing Borg machinery.

Labels: , ,

Friday, April 12, 2013

CuTRis May have Assimilated Borg!

CuTRis May have Assimilated Borg!
UnAssociated Press
April 12, 2013


Since LoCuTRis caused that power outage a little while ago, all sightings of the Borg have been reported as friendly! In fact, the Borg are suddenly all smiling!

Labels: ,

LoCuTRis of Borg Causes Power Outage

LoCuTRis of Borg Causes Power Outage
UnAssociated Press
April 12, 2013


This photo shows where LoCuTRis of Borg has apparently torn the panel off of a large... thingy filled with wires--which he then threw snow in and caused a massive power outage that disrupted the work of many people including Dave.

Labels: ,

LoCuTRis of Borg

video

Labels: ,

CuTRis May Have Been Assimilated

CuTRis May Have Been Assimilated
UnAssociated Press

April 12, 2013


LoCuTRis


This alarming photo obtained by the UnAssociated Press shows that CuTRis may have been assimilated by the Borg in a story right out of Star Trek!

Labels: ,

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Orange Butt

Yeah, like you don't think it looks like a butt too...

April Showers Bring May Flowers

I love a nice Spring morning like today!

Springtime!

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Arden Hills Tire & Service Center Review

I bought new tires at Arden Hills Tire & Service Center today and I was quite pleased. The quality of the tires was good and the prices were also good. In fact, I recognized the brand--which was a change from most of the shops I got quotes from. There were no hidden charges and my quote was right on. Tim the manager showed me my alignment specs and said everything looked good. With their pick-up/delivery service, this was extremely convenient.

Labels:

Neng


CuTRis Has Escaped to South Korea!

CuTRis Has Escaped to South Korea!
UnAssociated Press
April 10, 2013


CuTRis has escaped from North Korea and is currently in South Korea, where he has given this account of his escape,

    "After that stupid dragon dropped me in North Korea, I had to try to find food and get back out of the country. I found Kim Jong-un's house where there was lots of food. Kim Jong-un was always looking at things, so I had to be careful not to get caught. Some military guy in a stupid over-sized hat and Soviet WWII uniform saw me and launched a missile at me. I'm pretty fast, so I ended up outrunning it! Eventually they shot a faster missile at me and I grabbed it by the nose cone and rode it across the border into South Korea! The missile was apparently a dud--just like the North Korean leader! So that's how I got back! It was pretty easy; now that I think about it.

Labels: , ,

CuTRis is Behind Enemy Lines

CuTRis is Behind Enemy Lines
UnAssociated Press
April 10, 2013


Nothing has been heard from CuTRis in the last 24 hours. The State Department has been reluctant to get involved because of the tense relations with North Korea; and because CuTRis' dragon pooped on Kim Jong-un. CuTRis' has been up against some tough situations before and managed somehow to get through it. We can only hope!

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

CuTRis Outruns North Korean Missile

CuTRis Outruns North Korean Missile
UnAssociated Press
April 9, 2013


A radio message was intercepted from North Korea this morning that was attributed to CuTRis. He is believed to be in the communist country after his former dragon dropped him there. The message is as follows,

     "I managed to find food at Kim Jong-un's house. There was a lot of food there! People are poor and starving--but not at their dear leader's house! I was discovered by a guy in a large stupid hat and WWII era uniform. He launched a missile at me but I outran it! I thought that if somehow I could make it chase me, it would no doubt fail. Instead I found that North Korean missiles aren't very fast!"

END OF TRANSMISSION

Labels: ,

CuTRis and Dragon Get in Argument

CuTRis and Dragon Get in Argument
UnAssociated Press
April 9, 2013


CuTRis and his dragon have apparently had a disagreement about what they should do next, and have discontinued their campaign over North Korea. In fact, it is thought that the dragon dropped CuTRis somewhere inside of the communist country. When asked about it, Yosemite Sam said, "Dragons is so stupid!" Just how or if CuTRis will be able to escape from North Korea is the question right now.

Labels: , ,

Monday, April 08, 2013

Kim Jong-un Hit by Dragon Poop Again

Kim Jong-un Hit by Dragon Poop Again
UnAssociated Press
April 8, 2013 



Direct Hit!

Kim Jong-un was apparently hit by dragon poop again today as CuTRis and Yosemite Sam flew over North Korea on their dragons.


Labels: , , ,

CuTRis Teams with Yosemite Sam

CuTRis Teams with Yosemite Sam
UnAssociated Press
April 8, 2013


CuTRis has apparently teamed up with Yosemite Sam against Kim Jong-Un of North Korea. It's dragons vs. crappy missiles!

CuTris

Sam


Labels:

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Kim Jong-un Threatens to Blow Up CuTRis

Kim Jong -un Threatens to Blow Up CuTRis
UnAssociated press
April 7, 2013


Kim Jong-Un has threatened to blow up CuTRis and his dragon today--during his latest death to America speech. unJong is pretty mad that CuTRis' dragon pooped on his head yesterday when they were flying over North Korea.

Labels: , ,

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Dragon Poops on Kim Jong-un

Dragon Poops on Kim Jong-un
UnAssociated Press
April 6, 2013

CuTRis' dragon scored a direct hit when it pooped on North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Un's head today. CuTRis and the dragon were unavailable for comment, but were said to be enjoying a drink in a bar in Switzerland at the time of this printing.

At Point of Impact

Labels: , ,

Friday, April 05, 2013

CuTRis and Dragon Flying over North Korea


CuTRis and Dragon Flying over North Korea
UnAssociated Press
April 5, 2013


CuTRis may be flying over North Korea on his dragon. At least that is what Kim Jong-Un said today in his latest I'm going to blow you all up speech. Sources close to CuTRis, report that CuTRis wants his dragon to poop on Kim Jong-Un's head.

Labels: , ,

CuTRis Seen Riding Flying Dragon


CuTRis  Seen Riding Flying Dragon
UnAssociated Press
April 5, 2013


CuTRis Riding Dragon
CuTRis was seen riding a flying dragon this morning through the capitol city of St. Paul.

When asked about this, Cutris said, "I'm not sure why more people don't ride dragons. Sure once-in-a-while one will eat somebody; and sometimes they don't want to go to the same place that you do--but that is a small price to pay for flying over rush-hour traffic!"

Hmmm... says this reporter... Cutris may have something there...

Written by Bink Scoopmeyer -- AP

Labels:

Thursday, April 04, 2013

End of the Banana Republic

What? Carl's last day is Friday?
If you happen to be one of the people who follow my blog, you might remember my coworker Carl--who loves overripe bananas. Well Carl is leaving for a new job--so today I let him have my banana. My banana was very ripe. I think Carl is the only man I've ever given my banana to. He was eating my banana when I told him so--and he started laughing so hard that I had to tell him not to choke on my banana. So long Carl, I hope there are bananas at your new programming job.

How to Stop North Korea

Give the people of North Korea food, access to the outside world, jobs and medical care and they will see that their well-fed leader is wuss and a tyrant and a photocopy of his dad and grandpa. Then they will kick his butt and join the rest of the world. Even China thinks Kim Jong-un is a dork.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Dave's Dad Threatening North Korea

CLICK HERE

Labels:

Tech Support - Dry Battery





"Hello tech support? I think I might have gotten my dry cell wet. What should I do?"

Labels:

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

CuTRis Accidentally Destroys Phone Plans

CuTRis Accidentally Destroys Phone Plans
UnAssociated Press
April 2, 2013


In a devastating blow to the world of technology, CuTRis has accidentally destroyed the plans for his super-great Smartphone that can do anything!

CuTRis said that he was eating an extra giant hamburger with everything on it, when he noticed that the ketchup, grease and "special sauce" began dripping down his face. Quickly, CuTRis reached for a napkin--and inadvertently grabbed the one that his complicated plans for the new Smartphone were scribbled on! Before he knew it, said CuTRis, he had completely covered the napkin with the hamburger slop and destroyed the plans!

When asked if he could recreate the design, CuTRis said that he doubted it--as it had been created during a "moment of brilliance" he had while using the bathroom after eating all that pizza in the sinkhole.

When asked what he would do now, after the disaster, CuTRis said that the hamburger had made him thirsty and he was going to go get something to drink.

Labels: , ,

CuTRis Invented Phone that Does Everything

CuTRis Invented Phone that Does Everything
UnAssociated Press
April 2, 2013


CuTRis emerged from the sinkhole in his backyard this morning looking rested and well-fed. He said that the jam session with EFS went very well and that he had also designed a new kind of Smartphone that can do everything.

"Some phones can do a lot of stuff," said CuTRis; "but this one can do everything."

Phone expert Hiroshi "Alex" G. Bell, of the SuperPhone Institute saw the design when he tried to steal it; and he said it was absolutely brilliant and "should leave all other phones behind as if they were dinosaurs!"

Fortunately CuTRis was able to escape with the napkin that he had scribbled the intricate plans on--before his invention could be stolen.

Labels: , ,

Monday, April 01, 2013

Pizza Delivered to Sinkhole

Pizza Delivered to Sinkhole
UnAssociated Press
April 1, 2013


News this morning of pizza being delivered to the sinkhole in CuTRis' backyard has got people talking. Apparently the three "Everything" pizzas have been attributed to CuTRis himself--while the order for "extra mushrooms" speaks loudly that Dave, (AKA. The Butt) is probably down there too. Because drums can be heard, it is widely thought that Pete is also in the sinkhole, along with Tony--which would explain the funky bass sound emanating from CuTRis' hole... in his backyard. It is now thought that the entire Electric Frog Syrup Band (EFS) has setup a studio within the depths of the sinkhole.

Labels: , ,

Loud Music Coming from Sinkhole!

Loud Music Coming from Sinkhole!
UnAssociated Press
April 1, 2013


There were reports this morning of loud music coming from the sinkhole. It is now thought that CuTRis may be down there jamming with his band, EFS.

Sinkhole

Labels: , ,