The thoughts of a writer.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


The Minneapolis/St. Paul area got hit by a snowstorm this afternoon. Several inches of snow piled up in a very short time. Where it's plowed the driving is okay. Where it isn't yet plowed, it is advisable not to stop (if possible) or you might get stuck. Worst of all, is that the wind is strong and blowing the snow. There are no visible lanes on the roads and freeways. Everything is white. It is tricky to drive a multi-lane road with no defined lanes. Of course, by this time tomorrow everything will be plowed out and all will be fine. That's how it is here in Minnesota. Snowfall that would cripple many cities is handled quickly. "Snowdays" are few...

Monday, February 23, 2009

Big Wood

Huh huh huh huh...

The Oscars

Oscar Goldman (AKA Richard Anderson)

Oscar Madison (AKA Walter Matthau)

Oscar Madison (AKA Jack Klugman)

Oscar Wilde

Oscar the Grouch




Thursday, February 19, 2009

"Nation of Cowards"

Attorney General Eric Holder has commented that America is a nation of cowards, because the country remains "voluntarily socially segregated." While there is some truth to this, it is a rather "broad" statement that lumps everyone in America together. That sounds kind of like stereotyping.

If we go to the animal world, we can see that "like kind" animals congregate together. Perhaps there is a certain level of comfort in being with those who resemble you.

Some people don't want to mix with those who are different, some are afraid, and some just don't have many opportunities to do so.

I am blessed with friends and family that cross a variety of cultural and racial lines. Usually it "just happens," occasionally we are ridiculed for it, and sometimes there are people who want to "join in" just to show that they are politically correct. Whatever the reason, or the temporary discomfort, we are almost always better for the experience.

So, Mr. Attorney General, your opinion is duly noted. But please don't lump us all together. Our country has come a very long way. After all, not only is our President African-American (biracial actually), but so is our Attorney General. We may have a fully integrated society someday, but it might take a little more time.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Picture of Wendell

My friend Mike just sent me a picture of my old friend Wendell. I did a
tribute to Wendell , on the day he died. Mike was also the person who informed me of Wendell's passing, as he still works at the county where we all met.

One other note, Wendell can be seen on his cell phone in the picture. Mike said he was talking to me, and this was while I was living in Providence, Rhode Island. That was a difficult time for me, and shortly after (if memory serves me) I was calling Wendell because he lost his son (in an accident). We were always lookin' out for each other.

We kept in touch until just before he passed away. I know he influenced my life, and I like to think maybe I influenced his a little too. We met when he was approaching the "end," and I was still trying to figure things out. We weren't that similar (in age or appearance), yet we weren't that different (in the ways that mattered). I went to a couple of gatherings at Wendell's house. The people there (including my friend and former supervisor, Beverly) were always interesting and "well-read."

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Brett Favre Retires, Again...

If you liked Brett Farve's first retirement, keep watching!
The sequels will just keep coming...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Short Cutris Spy Story

Cutris strolled into the room as if he owned 47.2% of it. His presence carried an air of authority. Though he was only 5'8-and-3/4" tall, to everyone present he looked to be at least 5'9" or 5'10". The event appeared like a typical cocktail party, except everyone was wearing sunglasses. Immediately, Cutris removed his own sunglasses to throw everyone else off guard.

No one in the room seemed to notice that he was dressed in the armor of a Teutonic Knight. That too was to throw them off. As he clanked across the room, Cutris noticed her. "That's the spy who loved me," he thought. She shouldn't be here. After all, he was married, and that meant something to him. Yes indeed, it meant something.

He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and attempted to sit down on the couch. His armor didn't cooperate, and after several minutes he decided to stand. It didn't help that he had to pee from drinking the champagne, and he decided to leave his armor in the restroom.

Back at the party dressed in an inconspicuous black shirt with a Bugs Bunny tie, Cutris sat down and was immediately joined by "the spy who loved me."
"Are you avoiding me?" she asked.
"Do I know you?" Cutris replied.
"No," she answered.
"That's what I thought," he responded.

At that very moment, two men entered through the far window. One was disguised as a woman, the other as a French Poodle.
"I need to go," Cutris told "the spy who loved me."

With that, Cutris got up, and walked nonchalantly, backwards, toward the newcomers. He accidentally tripped over the waiter, upsetting the tray of champagne glasses. Despite the shower of champagne and broken glasses, his tactic was nearly flawless and only drew the attention of 3/4 of the people in the room. Pulling himself carefully off of the floor, he pretended that he had recovered a pencil that was dropped -a pencil that he carried for just such an emergency. Inside that very pencil, was a transponder. Cutris carefully clicked it on and handed the pencil to the man who was disguised as a woman.

"Here," Cutris said, "your poodle must have dropped this."
"Thank you," the woman answered.
With the transponder now planted on the woman, Cutris had only to make his exit. He slipped into the bedroom and pulled the spare chainsaw out of his shorts. Quietly, he cut a hole through the wall. When he was finished, he remembered his armor and went back to the bathroom to find it.

Just his luck, he had to wait in line for the restroom before he could recover his armor. Not wanting to take the time to put it on, he tucked it into his pants pocket and returned to the bedroom. Noticing that someone else had also cut an escape hole through the wall, Cutris quickly exited and skipped away into the night.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cutris Tangles with Al Qaeda

UnAssociated Press
February 10, 2009

"Forward Wing Command to Cutris, come in Cutris."
"This is Cutris Wing Command, I read you over."
"You are authorized to engage the hostile; Cutris, I repeat, eliminate with extreme prejudice."
"Affirmative Wing Commander, in pursuit."

The F-22 Raptor rapidly closed in on the strange craft that had appeared less than 20 minutes ago. In the short time before Cutris had been deployed, it had sent the local population fleeing in panic, as it dropped its putrid payload upon the city below. Homeland Security had contacted the air command and Cutris was in his F-22A and airborne within five minutes.

Closing on his target at Mach 2, Cutris locked-in two AIM-120 radar-guided air-to-air missiles. A moment later, the enemy was gone.

A post incident investigation concluded that the enemy… er… "craft," had been laden with goat dung. It had dumped much of its… er… "payload" onto the city before being incinerated by two AIM-120 radar-guided air-to-air missiles.
Al Qaeda took credit for this latest terrorist attack, and vowed to seek revenge against all infidels.

Cutris, wearing his "100% Infidel" designer T-shirt, commented that "clean livin' prevailed!"

At Mach 2, the F-22A was flying much too fast for a real photo. This picture, however, demonstrates with great precision, what took place just moments before the Al Qaeda "plane" was destroyed.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Study Shows People Are Dumb

A recent article printed in the New England Journal of Stuff, indicates that up to 80% of people don't know what the heck they are doing. Furthermore, of the 80%, 72.9% of those people have no idea why they are doing it. When surveying upper-level managers, the percentages can jump as high as 94%. Breaking the statistics down by race, sex, economic conditions, education and religion, could create data that is not politically correct, so this was not done. The $47M study funded by MENSA simply concluded that most people are dumb.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

You Say Recession, I Say Depression...

It wasn't until very recently, that the (U.S.) government admitted that we are in a "recession." Of course, the Bush/Cheney administration admitted to almost nothing...


Now, suddenly (perhaps because of Barack Obama), the word is that we are in a depression, and things are much worse than "we" thought.

Barack Obama

My friend Dave, has come up with a new, far more descriptive term for what the economy is now experiencing.
He calls it the "Economic Butt."


Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Why the British Accent?

We picked up my parents from the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport the other day. After parking the car in the ramp, we had to take the "tram" to the terminal. So all along the way, there is this woman's voice telling you stuff and she has a British accent.
"You have pocked in the red zone."
"The tram is about to de-pot..."
Why the British Accent? We're in Minnesota! If I go to London will I hear a Minnesotan say, "The train is about to leave you betcha!"???

Monday, February 02, 2009

Ice Fishing

Saturday was beautiful, sunny and (relatively) warm. Danny took us ice fishing.

The ice was about 2 feet (.61 meters) thick. Thick enough to drive on.

Inside the "ice cube," we were warm and had everything we needed.

Our first site didn't get us much, though we could see fish. When we moved to deeper water, however, we had three hours of Crappie catching!

Each licensed angler may keep up to 10 Crappies and they have to be at least 9 inches (22.86 centimeters) long. We released most of them, but kept enough for dinner.