The thoughts of a writer.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Negative Political Ad

Joe Candidate keeps on telling us he's the best man for the job. That's because he's not really a man. He's really Bigfoot in disguise! Oh that might not be so bad, but once, at band camp, he ate a live kitten just to impress a girl. Then he molested an acorn. He also likes to eat out and he never leaves a tip! We just can't afford to put Joe Candidate into political office.

My Butt is solely responsible for the content of this message.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2018

The Death of "Butt Spindell"

Two days ago, my wife decided to buy our new goldfish and took my son to the pet store. They bought four and there was also a tiny, Rosy Red Minnow that somehow got into the bag with the other fish. The poor little fish swam quickly around the tank; but unfortunately lasted only until the next evening before dying suddenly. My young son was sad. He had named the fish, "Butt-Spindell."

My son likes trains. He especially likes the Thomas and Friends trains. Frequently, he likes to quiz me on the characteristics of the Thomas and Friends engines. I unfortunately, am not very good at this, so I created the "Flippin-Rock and the Masters of the Universe" train collection. These trains were my invention and came from my mind, so I now had a chance of scoring in the train games!

My wife told our son that I was just making this all up. That, however, did not dissuade him from joining in and making even more characters! Besides Flippin-Rock, who is the main character, I came up with Pok, who my son says is actually, "Pac." And the fastest of all of the Flippin-Rock and the Masters of the Universe engines is "Butt-Spindell." Thus, my child named this speedy fish after the fastest train in the series.
After coming home from band last evening, I found these sad messages, that the new fish had passed on. Of course it was sad, but it was also a bit humorous if you knew the background story...


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How it was Done 1000 Years Ago No Longer Applies

Deep down, she had to know that this was not the highlands of Laos. It must be evident on some level that the "emergency" of housing aging, sickly parents for one night while plumbing repairs were waiting, would be to simply buy them a room at a local motel. But the 1000-year-old doctrine was clear. They must be housed inside the home of a close relative. Even if that meant an uncomfortable bed or needing to climb up and down stairs and no chance of escaping the fire-escape if it was ever needed. She had her 1000-year-old reasons why it had to be done in the most difficult, laborious and time-consuming manner possible. Convenience was a thing for Americans. It was not how it was done in her cultureeven if it was the better choice. In fact, even though he was not a Hmong, his idea to house them comfortably in a motel room was a grievous insult! One that would be handled in the "old way." With lengthy, passive aggressive tactics. Closing communication and sulking would prove him wrong! There was no other way. Even if everyone would be miserable! It must be done "our way!" Even if we are nearly 8000 miles from the old country and have been in the USA for four-and-a-half decades, the solution must be the ways that were established over 1000 years ago in the jungles of a slash-and-burn society. It must never change. Everyone should do it our way! There is no choice!


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Monday, September 17, 2018

Whole Grilled Chicken

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Friday, September 14, 2018

People Who Talk About Work

There are people who do work, and there are people who talk about doing work.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Bad Fortune Cookie


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Tuesday, September 11, 2018

9/11

Monday, September 10, 2018

Pork Ribs

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