CuTRis Seen Using Fake Sign Language

CuTRis Seen Using Fake Sign Language
UnAssociated Press
December 13, 2013

CuTRis was recently sighted at a funeral for some guy from Passaic, using fake sign language. "This was extremely embarrassing," said some guy at the funeral who had come for the free lunch. "I just can't believe someone would do something like that!" He commented between mouthfuls. CuTRis was unavailable for comment.

Meaning: I have an invisible basketball.
 

Meaning: I can see you but you can't see me.
 

CuTRis Safe: Victim of Slow RDP Connection

CuTRis Safe: Victim of Slow RDP Connection
UnAssociated Press
December 12, 2013

News today confirms that CuTRis is safe and was never lost in Colorado. Apparently he was the victim of a very slow RDP connection. CuTRis seemed unaware of the massive search that had been going on for him and said that in fact, he was nowhere near Colorado—though he had been working on a server in another state which was amazingly slow. The remote connection had interfered with his email connection and essentially he was lost to the outside world for quite some time. CuTRis said he was able to survive the ordeal by eating snacks from his desk drawer and drinking tea. When asked if he was reluctant to remote into another distant SQL server, CuTRis said he was ready to deploy as needed.

Aerial Search Continues for CuTRis

Aerial Search Continues for CuTRis
UnAssociated Press
December 12, 2013

CuTRis has still not been found. Video from a search helicopter shows the rough terrain over which the search is taking place.

CuTRis May Be Lost in Wilderness

CuTRis May Be Lost in Wilderness
UnAssociated Press
December 12, 2013

CuTRis is assumed to be lost somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. Not much is known except that he is thought to be Northwest of Gunnison, Colorado.

Jacqueline Upturd

Jacqueline Upturd was a nobody really. She had connections through her mother who had also been a nobody—until she was cast on a TV sitcom in the ‘60’s. Through those connections Jacqueline had become a writer. Now she fancied herself a celebrity and she liked to use social media to tweet out her sarcastic and conceited views.

Many people seemed to think that Jacqueline was very beautiful. That was probably due to her gigantic teeth; which gave her quite a unique smile. The smile that so inspired her fans, looked similar to how a constipated horse might look just prior to a massive bowel movement.

Jacqueline Upturd loved herself more than she could ever love anyone else—which could be why she had decided never to get married. On the other hand, she was just plain ill-tempered—so maybe no one had ever asked her.

Driving in her vintage 1970, Chevy Caprice, she liked to crane her neck—and scowl at people who looked like they were happy or in love. Sometimes she envisioned running them over with her car—confident that her assumed notoriety would protect her from any legal repercussions. But then, she would return home to her one true friend; a small dog that could be carried around like a baby.

Such was the life of Jacqueline Upturd. She had her legions of fans who were equally unhappy and mean-spirited. But she was never quite able to get what she really wanted out of life. Indeed she did exactly the wrong thing to get what she wanted the most. But then, she thought that happiness was found by belittling others. Perhaps it was an Upturd trait that was handed down through the family like a pair of old and dirty socks. They should get thrown in the dust bin—but they were just so comfortable even with the holes.

Alas… such a pity about poor Jacqueline! How sad to be a downtrodden Upturd—and not even realize it! But then the lesson for all is, when things come too easy, the recipient fails to learn that others who have to work harder than they do are just as important as they are.

—KJC

The characters in this story are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Homeless at -7 Degrees

I saw the homeless man I wrote about last week again this morning. This time it was -7 Fahrenheit (-21.67 Celsius). He was moving slightly under his blankets. I saw him the other day after the snow. He was out in about 3 degrees shoveling the sidewalk in front of the businesses on Rice Street where he lives. This is no ordinary street bum.

I Strongly Advise Against It...

I only look like I'm asleep...

Every 7th Coffee Free

 

Saturday was the 7^th of December and this sign says that coffee is free on every 7^th!


Well guess what? They don't actually give you free coffee on the 7th!!! What you ask??? No! Apparently, you have to buy 6 coffees and then they will give you a free one...

Wisconsin May be Full of Crap

http://kstp.com/article/stories/S3236993.shtml?cat=1

Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela has died at age 95. Thanks for a long life well lived.

Twin Cities Reptiles

I used to go to Twin Cities Reptiles (and before that the Pet Dragon) frequently back when I kept small reptiles and amphibians for pets. I had not replenished my animals for many years and after many more years, the last of my pets passed on and I "went out of business."

The store is now in St. Paul and I visited there recently with my wife and son—because my boy likes to "go see animals!"

The 2060 Olympics

CuTRis will now attempt the 30 meter right click.

US Bank = Unbelievably Slow

I went to deposit some money in my son's bank account. I now know what the US in US Bank stands for; Unbelievably Slow! But in their defence, they have a guy who stands around and says "hi" to you. I don't see that he does much else and another teller would be preferable.

My Nephew Mason Needs a Marrow Donor

This little guy is my nephew.

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/video/9599965-mom-takes-on-hmong-culture-for-bone-marrow-donor-for-son/

Homeless at 8 Degrees

This morning after I dropped my son off at his grandparents' house, I drove down the icy road to Rice Street where sure enough, the man who lives on the sidewalk by the hardware store, was wrapped up in blankets like a mummy. He was lying on the sidewalk next to a shopping cart heaped full of his belongings. It was 8 degrees Fahrenheit (-13.33 Celsius).

Ten years ago I had the experience of working in social services with drug addicts and I became familiar with the tragedy of poverty and addiction. One thing I learned from the men who often slept outside in our frigid Minnesota winters, is that most of them no longer have toes. It's not something you would think about or probably know if you sleep in a bed in a house.

These are not aliens from another world, they are people like us. They have problems, often mental illness and often they self-medicate and abuse alcohol and drugs and even substances that no one would normally ingest or inject—all to make it through the next hour. There is no thought about tomorrow or next year. How could there be?

Now, ten years later, I suspect most of the men I knew in or out (or in and out) of the program are probably dead. But on the street, there was a man this morning in 8 degree weather who made me remember. God bless him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9HWQm5w9Dw