The thoughts of a writer.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

This Says Volumes!


"Not Moving Forward"

If you tell me that you are "not moving forward" with my application, does that mean that you are moving backward? Because that is what it sounds like.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Pete for President: The Alternative Candidate

Because you said you wanted an alternative candidate—even if it wasn't a good one.

Yeah... that's Dave back there. He's Pete's running mate. I told you it wasn't a good alternative; but there you go.

Vote Pete for President in 2016
Because you could do worse...

This advertisement was produced by the Pete for President Phartknocker Team.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

CuTRis Wins Presidential Debate

Post debate analysts say that CuTRis won last evening's presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump (sniff)—even though CuTRis was not present and did not answer any questions. Although not actually being at the debate and having not answered any of the questions, CuTRis is still considered far more likeable than either candidate—and so has taken a sizeable lead in the polls.

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Monday, September 26, 2016

Fall Raptor Release

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Thursday, September 22, 2016

New Wireless Tacos!

Wireless Taco by CuTRis Industries

Are you sick and tired of having to plug your taco in? Then you should try the new Wireless Taco from your friends at CuTRis Industries! You won’t be disappointed! Go anywhere—eating your taco without the need for cords and wires trailing after you!

Get yours today!

Wireless tacos must be used in compliance with the FCC. Void where prohibited.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Police Shooting Victims Similarity

Of course every incident is different, but I keep seeing a common theme in police shootings of unarmed people. The people who get shot don’t seem to be following directions. Despite the continued push to make us believe that only Black men are shot by police, says otherwise. What I see in most of the posted videos, is police with guns drawn; and the person who gets shot not getting down on the ground with their hands in the air. Instead, they seem to be continuing to move toward some other objective.

If someone pulled a gun on me, I would try to run away; unless I knew it was a police officer. Then I would be very careful to follow directions to avoid agitating the officer pointing the gun at me!

But from my work in county social services and also in schools, I learned that there are people in our society who do not think that anyone can make them do anything and they persist in that belief regardless of the outcome. In fact, life has become so cheap in some communities, that some people don’t seem to care one way or the other if they kill someone or die themselves.

So the protesters are not going to solve this. Looting and burning adds fuel to the controversy—as do the people who act like this is strictly a racial thing. It isn’t. Most of America does not care what color you are if you have lots of money. In order to get money, you need to learn how to follow rules, work hard and get a good education. There are certain communities who have not yet "bought in" to these ideals; and so they can never get ahead. I believe, it is these same groups that cannot follow directives from authority figures—even if a gun is being pointed at them at the time.

So the yelling and the protests are merely an undisciplined reaction to a larger problem that is almost completely being ignored. As I have said before, if Black lives really matter, then someone should try to address the statistically much higher number of Black deaths caused by other African-Americans. So much effort is going into reacting to police shootings and almost none goes to address the real issues. The irony and the tragedy is that this direction will only make things worse until people learn to accept the truth and invest in real solutions.


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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

"Muslims Get Out" sign in Lonsdale

To everyone who is offended by the redneck who posted the "Muslims Get Out" sign outside of his restaurant, you all have provided him with national free advertising by paying so much attention to it. If you don't like it, you should eat somewhere else. I saw the guy on TV and he loves the attention and free advertising.

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Driving Primer

It seems like everyone who drives is supposed to already know this; but I see people driving every day who don't care enough to follow some simple rules. So here they are,

1. When it is dark (or raining) TURN YOUR LIGHTS ON.

2. When an ambulance, police car or firetruck comes behind you with lights flashing PULL OVER AND STOP. Then when they pass, go back into traffic NORMALLY. Don't try to beat everyone else.

3. When a vehicle is coming toward you WAIT UNTIL IT PASSES instead of pulling out in front of it.

4. Put your phone down.

5. At a Stop Sign you should actually STOP.

6. When waiting at a traffic signal, WATCH THE LIGHT instead of doing other things—so you know when to go.

7. Avoid honking and changing lanes every 4 seconds. This increases the likelihood of causing an accident.

8. Try to keep your vehicle within the lane you are driving in.

9. Slow down. Speed limits are not simply suggestions.

10. Control your anger. Driving a car is not combat.

11. Allow cars that are signaling to merge. Driving is not a competition.


Monday, September 19, 2016

Vikings 17, Packers 14

A nice way to end the weekend is when the Vikings beat the Packers on the game-of-the-week. It's a nice way to break in the new stadium too. It was a great debut for Sam Bradford and Stefon Diggs played great! Now they should trade Adrian Peterson for a bottle of Gatorade and continue to move on.

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Thursday, September 15, 2016

Upside Down

I recently told my wife that I was going to start keeping the unopened boxes of breakfast cereal upside down because they tend to settle so that the heavier things like raisins go to the bottom. My thinking is that when I opened the box, I would turn it right side up and instead of the first pour being just flakes, I would get the mixture I desired.

So yesterday, my wife opened the new box. She opened it from the bottom because it was upside down. She didn't do this as a joke, she did not notice that it was upside down or that it (must have been) was harder to open. She is simply blind to food related dates, positioning, quantity or freshness (or rottenness), or price (vs. value) or variety... which perhaps is why I do nearly all of the cooking and grocery shopping.
But still, I am sometimes simply amazed by things such as the opening of the cereal box from the bottom...

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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Trump Shares Health Summary with Dr. Oz

I find it interesting that Donald Trump would choose a Muslim, (TV) doctor to share his health summary with. Doesn't Mr. Trump know that Dr. Oz's parents came from Turkey? I thought Trump was against Muslim immigrants coming to the United States!

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Kevin's Digger

I'm ready to get to work!


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

If You Like Street Corner Garbage

Among the many reasons to Not give money to panhandlers, is that pile of garbage or the plastic bag full of trash tied to the light pole. If the fact that you are giving your money to a likely con artist, and promoting their parasitic lifestyle isn't enough to make you ignore the panhandler, then how about the garbage they leave on the street corner? If nobody gave these people anything, they would go away and the garbage would go away too.


Friday, September 09, 2016


"No, actually I can't look into why that login isn't working with only a password and no name to search for..."


Don't Take Eliquis if...

DISCLAIMER: Don't take Eliquis if you are allergic to drugs with really silly names. Doing so could make you laugh hysterically so that you fall down and become injured. Some people who use Eliquis may like that sort of thing. Ask your doctor or the guy selling crack on the street corner if Eliquis is right for you!

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Barbed Wire Tattoo

"I don't look nearly stupid enough. Can you give me one of those barbed wire tattoos?"

Sorry if you have one. I know you wanted to look tough...


Thursday, September 08, 2016

Do Black Lives Matter in Chicago?

I'm just wondering if Black Lives Matter will try to stop the murders that are now up to 518 in Chicago for this year? If one African-American is shot by police, Black Lives Matter will protest. 518 is a big number and most of the dead are black and most of the shooters are black. I'm just wondering if anyone will organize and protest about this.

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To Goodwill Music Thief

To the person who stole all the good music CD's from Goodwill.

You have good taste in music. Out of the 8 or 10 CD's I opened because I might want to buy one, you had stolen the CD's out of the cases of 6 of them. Now I like good Rock music too, so I can understand why you chose those disks. I like to buy them. But I can understand how a scumbag like you might not want to pay the $1.99 for a used CD. I mean if you are a lowlife enough to steal from a charitable organization, then you certainly wouldn't want to pay for 6 (or probably more) CD's. I hope you feel good about it. Goodwill could have made a couple of bucks from me yesterday; but the CD's I wanted had been stolen by you so they didn't. Way to make a negative impact on society. I'm sure since I alerted Goodwill that some idiot thief has been stealing their CD's, they will need to remove the disks from the cases like other stores often do. I hope you enjoy listening to your CD's! Incidentally, if you are stealing them to rip them, the library lets you borrow CD's free of charge!


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Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Back to School

Today is the day most students (at least in Minnesota) will go back to school. Best to all of you for a good year.


Jacob Wetterling

The remains of Jacob Wetterling have been found after 27 years. The discovery was due to information obtained from the scumbag who is suspected of killing him. I was a young man in college and working in the nursery landscape industry when this abduction first took place. It is with sadness that we have learned of this new information.

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Friday, September 02, 2016

No Fish this Morning but Caught this Sunrise

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Electric Toothbrush Refill Savings

I have an Oral-B Spin toothbrush. I like it because it works well. But the refill brushes are extremely overpriced. I have bought generics, and they often don't fit quite right. Nothing is more annoying than when the brush head comes off while you are brushing. So I have devised a simple solution. By adding a small (and I mean tiny) drop of Super Glue inside the refill brush where it touches the plastic (non-spinning) part of the brush handle (usually two drops—one on both sides) I decrease the diameter of the inside portion of the refill and provide a tighter fit. Two cautions about this. First, make sure the super glue has ample time to dry before putting the handle on the refill. Not allowing the glue to dry first will essentially glue the two pieces together. Second, use a small amount of glue. You can always add later if it was not enough. Too much will prevent the refill from sliding onto the brush handle. By using this method, I have been successfully using generic and much cheaper replacements. The last ones were about a dollar apiece through Amazon instead of about $20 for three. That's a huge savings!

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Thursday, September 01, 2016

Walmart Self-Checkout

After shopping at the local Walmart and noticing how it didn't appear to be well stocked (except in groceries) or cleaned, I took my purchases to the self-checkout. Unlike at the grocery store, this machine did not accept my initial "Credit" selection and proceeded to try to process my card as "Debit." I pushed the button that said "Change Payment;" and it beeped and did nothing else. I finally flagged down one of the English speaking employees who pressed the exact same button. It worked for her and she condescendingly told me just to push "Change Payment." I told her that I had, but she just walked off as if she were superior to me—in that way that Walmart employees like to do.

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