The thoughts of a writer.

Friday, January 30, 2009

You Only Publish Who???

I just received a rejection for my book proposal from a publisher that "only publishes women writers." There are others that only publish Hispanic writers, or African-American writers or gay/lesbian writers or Canadian writers or writers from other specific locations or groups. It got me thinking...
How would people feel about a publisher who only published male writers? Or how about one that only publishes Caucasian writers???

Thursday, January 29, 2009

New Gumball Machine at White House

President Obama announced today, that he and two of his cabinet members (Cutris and Curious George), are planning to place a new gumball machine outside of the White House gift shop. It will contain large gumballs, in the colors red, white and blue. Each gumball will cost 25¢.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Cutris Breaks Code to bin Laden's Answering Machine

Cutris Breaks Code to bin Laden's Answering Machine
UnAssociated Press
January 27, 2009

Sources close to former presidential candidate Cutris, claim that he has broken the code to Osama bin Laden's answering machine. Reports circulating Monday, indicate that Cutris accidentally dialed bin Laden's phone by mistake. Once he realized whose phone it was, he pressed numerous buttons until he gained access to secret messages.

When questioned, Cutris replied that he had heard Osama bin Laden's phone messages, but they were "mostly boring."
"One message," said Cutris, "was from 'Ali,' inviting bin Laden and two of his wives over to Ali's cave for some goat's milk. The wives were to stay outside during the visit, as Ali only allows women into his cave on alternating Thursdays to "tidy up." Cutris continued by saying, "Another message was from bin Laden's accountant, and three were from someone named, 'Raoul.'"

The (U.S.) Joint Chiefs of Staff have summoned Cutris to the Pentagon to question him regarding the terrorist leader's phone number. "I have it saved in my call history," said Cutris. I'll be happy to share it with the authorities; though I don't know if I can access the answering machine again. The first time may have been a fluke."

Monday, January 26, 2009

Porn Industry Announces Stimulus Package

The Porn industry allegedly attempted to get a share of the U.S. Government's economic bailout package. When refused any monetary assistance, president of the National Porn Association, Hugh G. Johnson, told reporters, "We were just kidding! We're doing fine! In fact, we have our own stimulus package that we will be launching soon."
Details of what are in the package have not been shown at this time.

Albino Moose

This is just cool...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Mentally Ill or a Hero?

While listening to the news on the radio this morning, the host brought up an interesting point. It was regarding the story of a man who drove through Planned Parent Hood in St. Paul yesterday; on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Apparently the man believes that God told him to do it.

Normally I don't listen to Tom Bernard of KQ92, because he is fairly offensive. Still, he came up with this valid observation.

A man commits a violent act that he says God told him to do...
In America he is mentally ill.
In the Middle East, he is a hero.

Maybe this isn't true in every case, but it still rings pretty true.

Wrong Lane Bozo

To the person I saw driving 45mph in the 70mph zone, in the far left lane, with your windows all fogged up...

You're an idiot.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Michelle Obama's Inaugural Gown

I could not give one iota about Michelle Obama's inaugural gown. Yet this is what people are talking about. This leads to an important question. What is an iota?

According to Merriam-Webster online (second entry), it means an infinitesimal amount.

This got me wondering, because I also don't give a rat's ass about it.
Why would anyone have a rat's ass in the first place?
Where do you get a rat's ass? Can you buy one? Is there a store that sells them?
If so, I don't give one iota about it...

Welcome to My World

It's been tough the last few days.

In my professional life, I'm part of a team battling a vicious computer virus.

In my private life, a friend and avid reader of my blog has accused me of being "confused and filled with hatred," because I support Barack Obama and I believe George W. Bush and his administration stomped on some of our (the USA's) core values.

We should not be involved in torture, and should not be allowed to imprison people indefinitely; just because that prison is in a foreign country.

Perhaps I am a liberal, but I remember after 9-1-1, that I certainly didn't sound like one. Still, I cannot condone the "anything goes" policies of the past administration, and the horrific way it makes our country look in the wake of such things as Abu Ghraib Prison. I am rendered speechless that certain people living in a free country, could so easily be persuaded to remove the rights of others.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Congratulations to us all, we've come a long way. Please remember that!

President Bush was perhaps the most destructive President ever (i.e. worse than Reagan!).
First he squandered world sympathy after 9-1-1.
Then he over-extended our military into Iraq before finishing Afghanistan.
Then he deregulated some more (like Reagan) until the banks, etc., could do whatever they wanted to.
Money kept leaving the hands of the poor and funneled into the pockets of rich crooks.
Are you better off that you were eight years ago, or even four years ago???
If you are, you are the minority and very lucky.
I grew up believing my country was above torture. That belief was dashed under the Bush/Cheney administration.
There aren't that many Black candidates I can think of, who are qualified (what Jessie Jackson???) for the job, but I believe Obama is (and Colin Powell). For one, Barack Obama seems to be above the "it's all about being Black" mentality I've been seeing lately. Perhaps having a White mother has something to do with that.
Personally, I don't care if he is blue, I believe he is a good choice.
Congratulations to us all, we've come a long way. Please remember that!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Cutris Retires from Politics

Cutris Retires From Politics
UnAssociated Press
February 20, 2009


Cutris has chosen this historic day to retire from politics, according to reports circulating the Internet. This UnAssociated Press transcript of a brief interview with Cutris, appeared today...

Press: "Your retirement seems somewhat premature. Though you unofficially ran for President, you've never really held a public office."

Cutris: "Exactly why I've decided to retire now while I'm 'at the top of my game!'"

Press: "But that's not really a 'retirement' is it?"

Cutris: "Was Brett Favre's retirement a retirement? Was George Forman's retirement a retirement? I think not."

Press: "Does this mean that you might seek public office again? Perhaps starting with mayor instead of President?"

Cutris: "I can't predict the future most days. That all remains to be seen. I understand the presidency ages a person much faster than normal. I don't need that."

End of Interview.

Barack Obama Inauguration

Today I would like to congratulate Barack Obama for becoming the 44th President of the United States of America. It was a long time coming...

Today I would also like to congratulate George W. Bush for leaving the White House after eight incredibly destructive years. It was a long time coming...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

EFS

I'm hanging out with friends tonight and my band is jamming.
Here's a picture of The Forever Dangerous, Electric Frog Syrup Band.



Kevin.................Pete.......................Dave

Friday, January 16, 2009

Subzero in the Twin Cities

Yesterday morning it was -21 degrees Fahrenheit (-30 Celsius) with
a -41 degree windchill. I believe the high was -2. This morning we have
-22 and a -38 degree windchill. We're also expecting to get above 0 today with 30 degrees by Monday! I'm going to have to get my short pants out!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

American Idol

I can’t stand American Idol. I don’t understand why they show people who are really bad singers, unless it’s just so they can make fun of them. Still, millions of people apparently care about this show, so I decided to write about my own experience on it…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cutris: “My name is Cutris and I have a band called EFS, which stands for the Electric Frog Syrup Band. Instead of singing one of my own songs though, I’ve decided to sing “Curtis Lowe” by Lynard Skynard.”

Randy Jackson: “Hey Dog, how’s it goin’ Dog? Dog dog dog.”

Paula Abdul: “I love it that you came out here and told us what you are doing. I love that!”

Kara GioGuardi: “Paula, you’re such a dork! Of course, that is why I’m on the show now!”

Simon Cowell: “You all suck! Can we get on with it please???”

Randy Jackson: “Go ahead Dog, let’s see what you got!”

Cutris sings the first verse and refrain and sounds pretty good.

Simon Cowell: “No one told you to stop, did they?”

Cutris: “No, but you were rolling your eyes.”

Paula Abdul: “He can’t help that, I thought you were great!”

Kara Gio Guardi: “You think everyone is great. I think it was ‘good,’ but not ‘great.’”

Randy Jackson: “No Dog, it was good! Good Dog!”

Cutris: “Stop calling me dog, dumb ass!”

Simon Cowell: “Now that, was funny, though I think your singing was simply hideous!”

Paula Abdul: “It was good, really!”

Kara Gio Guardi: “Now you’ve got it, ‘good’.”

Randy Jackson: “Why you callin’ me a ‘dumb ass,’ Dog?”

Cutris: “Because you are a dumb ass. As a matter-of-fact, you’re all a bunch of dumb assess!”

Cutris walks off while the judges continue arguing. Eventually Ryan Seacreast has to tell them that Cutris has left the building.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Saturday's Moon

The full moon on Saturday, January 10, 2009 was supposed to be the closest to the Earth that it will be all year. I took a picture when I went out to see it.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Gran Torino

I've read some reviews of Clint Eastwood's latest movie, Gran Torino, and was surprised by some of the reactions. The family living next-door to cantankerous "Walt," in the movie, happens to be Hmong. My in-laws are Hmong and my wife and I liked the movie very much, unlike St. Paul Pioneer Press columnist Chris Hewitt.

One of the places I saw it become a bit unbelievable was when Eastwood's character really liked the food of his Hmong neighbors. Having been exposed to the culture myself, I think that there may be good reason that there are so few Hmong restaurants. Aside from that there are some pretty good scenes; and yes, as in (almost) all movies, some of it gets a little stretched.

I've heard other reviewers cut down the Hmong actors' abilities, though I thought they were pretty good. In my opinion, many Hmong artists haven't decided to become artists, and measure their abilities against other Hmong rather than the entire world. That may change in time.

Chris Hewitt could only see Eastwood's character as a racist. To me, Walt isn't so much a racist, as he seems to dislike everyone. That's his outer shell though, and you find out he is kinder than he likes to let on. You just need to be patient and watch the transformation. I found myself liking both Walt and his Hmong neighbors, even when they weren't sure that they liked each other.
Definitely see this movie, and be ready for some classic Eastwood when he confronts the street thugs.
KJC

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Email Scam using IRS

Beware of emails from "the IRS" offering refunds. It is a scam. Check the email domain and ignore the IRS logo.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Norm Coleman, "Do as I say..."

When the Minnesota Senate election results indicated that Norm Coleman (Rep) won by a narrow margin, Mr. Coleman publicly said that Al Franken (Dem) should concede and save the taxpayers a lot of money, rather than do a recount.

After the recount, with Al Franken leading by 225 votes, Norm Coleman is going to bring a lawsuit into the mix. Won't that cost the taxpayers money?

"Do as I say, not as I do..."

Al Franken and Norm Coleman... the controversy continues even now as the Senate reconvenes...

Friday, January 02, 2009

Sun Ray

I like this picture. I took it late afternoon, just before sundown.