The thoughts of a writer.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

What? No Protest for This?

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For the Protesters

More black people are killed by other black people by far, than are killed by white police officers. Now checkout this link.

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Happy Thanksgiving!


The Seventh Fairy

Alex accidentally shot a fairy. He blasted it with a 12-gauge shotgun. It was an honest mistake; the fairy was hanging out in a corn field and flew up when the labrador flushed it out. Damn! It was the seventh fairy he'd accidentally shot this week! He was hoping to get a pheasant. Fairies didn't even taste good—and the last thing he needed was another taxidermied fairy! He reached down and picked up the fairy. Stupid thing... he didn't really want anyone to find out that he had shot another fairy out of season. Finally, he shoved it down a badger hole and kicked dirt over it. Then he walked quickly away.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Holiday Prayer

Dear Lord, please protect us from our families this holiday season. As we find ourselves thrust into the company of extended relations, with people who we are related to by marriage—and sometimes less than that, we ask your guidance as the Lucy Van Pelt's of the family start slinging their tidings of nastiness to and fro. And lead us not into confrontation, but deliver us from the people who need favors continuously because others have always taken care of their stuff for them. For families are complicated, and some people don't really want to see us. For that is their nature. Please also protect us from the commercialism and materialism that has all but destroyed a meaningful time. Help us to endure the mess and the stress and the scheduling and rescheduling of gatherings. Help us to smile at things that are dumb and traditions that are overlooked as well as those traditions that are still practiced even though they should forever be buried beneath a thousand million tons of rock. For these are the holidays; the joys and the sorrows, forever and ever; amen.

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All Eyes on Ferguson

All eyes are on Ferguson now as it literally smokes this morning after burning all night. Is it a racist place? Maybe it is. But in the midst of the looting, shooting and destruction, could it be that some of the views might be justified? Who is doing the looting, shooting and burning? Are these the same people who are "crying foul?" Are the people committing the violence and crimes the same people who are seeking "justice?" Does anyone remember the teachings of Martin Luther King, Jr.? This stuff is all connected and all related people. If you want to live in a cesspool, then you are doing the right thing. If you want justice, then you are doing exactly the wrong thing in order to get it. If you are self-serving, and using this tragedy as a "justification" for your own criminal tendencies, then you are truly the source of the problem.

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Monday, November 24, 2014

CuTRis Accepting Bids as Corporate Spokesperson

CuTRis has announced that he currently is accepting bids for high paying jobs as a corporate or organization spokesperson. Bids should include job description, hours, location and high salary and benefit package being offered. Use the email listed on this blog and put "Spokes Person" in the subject line.

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Thanks For Setting Me Straight

I hadn’t realized before you set me straight, that it was my responsibility to take care of your kids for you while you went out to do fun things. I thought such things were voluntary. I didn’t realize that it was a mandatory obligation on my part. Knowing that now, I can see why you were so persistent to make me give up my weekends, to watch your children. I understand now why you think I am negative. I’m deeply sorry that you feel this way. I can see now that you feel entitled to babysitting services and so much more. It was wrong of me to want to have my weekends for my family and our stuff—when I could have been taking care of your stuff instead.

I also want to thank you for the comments about how I should follow your culture. I understand why you don’t follow your culture yourself; because the rules aren’t for you; they are for me—even though I am from a different culture. Maybe if you decide to follow the rules yourself and take care of your own kids and your own stuff, you will be kind enough to give me some more good advice in the future. I sure do look forward to that.


Friday, November 21, 2014

The Office Space...

His office was located in a building that was decorated in 20th Century Cheap. At one point he had a mouse go into his desk and chew into a bag with three candy bars and eat (only) the TWIX®. He set a mouse trap the next day. Unfortunately the ants showed up to eat all the bait before the mouse could get it. Apparently he wouldn't be able to kill the mouse without killing the ants first...


Thursday, November 20, 2014

Pre CuTRis

1992: A still taken from the "Line-Mic-Gain" music video from the "EFS Unleashed" show.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014


CuTRis does the voice impression of the crabby English king in the cartoon, "Shishkabugs."

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014


Since I recently had a Hmong guy make derogatory remarks to me, about me, because I didn't BUY my Hmong wife as demanded by Hmong culture, I will go on record as saying I did not buy my wife. I refused. I believe out of all the strange practices of this culture, selling your daughter for profit is perhaps the one I find most despicable. Aside from turning what should be love into a financial transaction, it also devalues women and makes them a commodity to be bought and sold like livestock. For the record, my wife bought herself. I would have simply refused, but she handed over the money in cash. We were two adults with our own homes and lives and I, personally, saw no reason to pay; but she did. I can only hope the following generations will free their children from the bonds of these practices. Incidentally, the man who made the comments found a way out of paying too. He refused to marry the woman. Instead they live together and have children together. No marriage and no payment.

Anti-Hacker Setting

Click picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.

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Monday, November 17, 2014

Kill the Cash Cow

Go ahead and kill the "cash cow."
You've always got Research & Development to fall back on...

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Friday, November 14, 2014

Configuring Windows Updates

I think here might be a problem with the new updates...

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Thursday, November 13, 2014

CuTRis Blinded by Kim Kardashian's Butt

CuTRis Blinded by Kim Kardashian's Butt
UnAssociated Press
November 13, 2014

"I kept hearing that Kim Kardashian's butt broke the Internet," said CuTRis. "Then I accidentally saw the picture when I clicked on a link to read more about it. That's when I was blinded!"
The UnAssociated press has been careful not to include links in this article, lest some other poor soul should be inflicted with this horror! Renowned Eye Surgeon, Dr. Arlo Specter examined CuTRis and said his eyesight would likely return to normal in a few days. It's quite astounding!" said Dr. Specter. "I've never seen such a reaction before!" CuTRis sent out a warning to people to avoid looking directly at the picture of Kardashian's butt. Experts say that even with safety equipment, you could damage your vision.
"I turned away as quickly as I could," said CuTRis. "But I had already sustained a direct hit to my retina. The butt is very very bad!"

CuTRis shown after accidentally seeing photo of Kim Kardashian's butt

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Despair, Inc. Addressing Employee Complaints


Navy Seal Speaks Out

A real navy seal speaks out...

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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Company Training

"In order to succeed in this company,
you will need to see things in a new way..."

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Red Cross

And as I looked at the brilliant reds produced by the rising Sun, I could see a red cross in the sky...


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Happy Veteran's Day!

Yay! More Winter!

More snow, more traffic, more ice, more cold...


Monday, November 10, 2014

Welcome Back Winter!

I would like to welcome back winter—as it has arrived here in the Twin Cities early this morning. If you like warm weather and dry roads, it ain't happening today...

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Friday, November 07, 2014

New Director Introduced

Press Release: New Director of THE COMPANY
November 07, 2014

PERSON'S NAME, New Director of Business
THE COMPANY is proud to announce the addition of PERSON'S NAME as the new Business Director! With PERSON'S NAME's expertise and business sense, noticeable changes should be coming soon!

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Don't Mess with a Man's Pinger!

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Two Iotas Free to Good Home!

If anyone could give a nice home to two nice, well trained iotas, please contact me. I don't want to split them up. I had thought about separating them; but then decided that I don't want to give one iota.

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Thursday, November 06, 2014

What Did You Do For Lunch Break?

I went fishing.


MN Medical Marijuana Task Force to Discuss Distribution & Legal Details

The new Minnesota Medical Marijuana Task Force is meeting to hammer out details of distribution and legal matters.

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Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Adrian Peterson Plea Deal

Details of the Adrian Peterson plea deal were revealed yesterday and the penalties are stiff! Adrian will avoid any jail time, but he will have to pay a $4000 fine! Since he has been paid $700,000 per week while not even having to play football, the fine is like if a "normal" person was fined 4 cents. Second, Peterson must perform 80 hours of community service! This horrible experience will likely include smiling, holding a football, and maybe even signing some autographs and maybe talking to some kids. It is really too awful to think about. Why not just send him to the chain gang? For his part, Adrian said he accepts responsibility and he loves his son—who he beat with a stick until he bled. Adrian also said that he loves the two more children (that he fathered) who were born during the court proceedings from three different mothers. One of them, according to inside sources, is a high class stripper in Houston. Both the NFL and the Minnesota Vikings are no doubt, eager to get Adrian Peterson back on the football field. The challenge for them, will be to make it look like they care about what is right—and so they may need to come up with equally grueling penalties for the star running back; such as making him pay a fine of a couple thousand (i.e. 2 cents equivalent for normal people) dollars and making him drink "regular" flavored Gatorade for at least three games. Likely Adrian will accept these severe penalties and continue to collect his normal salary—which is larger than the gross national product for 379 countries. Hopefully this will finally satisfy the blood-thirsty public which will hopefully satisfy the advertisers—so that they will continue to pump money into the National Football league. In the end, hasn't Adrian suffered enough?

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Tuesday, November 04, 2014

I Think You Mean, "Election"

I think it was really great that you asked the ELL class to make the signs for Election Day. I also think it is going to be really great for morale—and not just for the ELL students! But there is something you should probably know...

Click picture to enlarge: click "back" to go back

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Monday, November 03, 2014

Deer Fall Crash

This morning, when it was still dark, I was driving with my son a short distance from home when I noticed a car with its hazard lights on in the middle of the road. I thought perhaps it was stalled or otherwise disabled; so I switched lanes to go around it. As I did, I noticed a second car in the opposite lane pulled over and then I wondered if the two had some sort of accident. Then as I went through the intersection, I saw a large, my guess is 10-point White-tailed buck as it was slowly walking toward my car! Just then the big animal fell straight down on the road. That was when I noticed the glass in the road as I drove on past. It was a bad morning for the person (or people) in the car that hit this animal and a worse morning for the deer who was now either dead or dying.

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Vikings: Key to Winning is Not Sucking

Of course playing on the road against a good team and winning would be a real test; but it seems that the Minnesota Vikings have begun to try a new strategy; that of not sucking as much. If they can keep this up, they could continue to win football games.

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