The thoughts of a writer.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wilkie is Flooded!

With the continued warm weather, we went hiking at the Wikie Unit of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. The spring flooding has much of the bottomland forest underwater!
Here are a couple of pictures.



Chippewa Falls

Yesterday we drove to Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin.


We toured the famous, Leinenkugel's Brewery.


We also walked around the Irvine Park and Zoo.


Of course, we also saw the falls.

It was unusually warm weather, and a great day!

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Monday, March 29, 2010

Cutris Fights T-Rex

Cutris Fights T-Rex
UnAssociated Press
March 29, 2010

Being no stranger to battling large scary reptiles, Cutris was recently photographed fighting with an extinct Tyrannosaurus that was attempting to break through the walls of the city.

Cutris is shown in this picture, attempting to chase away the huge dinosaur using a stick he found.

Shortly after the altercation began, the T-Rex reportedly tried to bite Cutris, when he landed a direct blow with his stick on the monster's nose. The dinosaur reportedly turned and ran away.
"That stick might not have been big," Cutris said in an interview after, "but you should have heard it whistle through the air before I hit that big, dumb lizard! I bet that stung!"

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Natural Spray-on Tanning

Because nothing says, "natural," like something you spray on!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

MY BOOK IS ON SALE!

My novel, He Who Goes First is currently on sale for $7.99!
Normally the insane publisher charges $19.99!
I'm sure this won't last, so buy now! Just click on the title (above).

Dress Barn?

If you want to attract people (especially women) to your clothing store, is it really a good idea to call it, Dress Barn??? It sounds like clothes for livestock!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Going Home

It's almost time for another loooonnnng drive to get back home.

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Day in Glendive


After my aunt's funeral, we had half a day on our own to explore, so we went to Makoshika State Park (Badlands).


We also visited the Yellowstone River.

Glendive

We drove all day to Glendive, Montana.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Aunt Bev

My aunt Bev (McIntyre) died this morning. I last saw her almost two years ago when she came to the reception when my wife and I got married. I didn't realize it was the last time I would see her. She lived in Montana, and visits were infrequent due to the distance. Still, whenever I happened through (Montana) and stopped in, her and my uncle Mac (who passed in 2005), were always glad to see me. They used to come by train (Mac was "an old Railroad man") to Minnesota to visit sometimes. I always tried to see them when they were here.

Goodbye Bev, we'll miss you. I know the last year was hard for you. I hope you are happy again.
Kevin

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Bad

What is with the saying, "my bad?"
Was it "invented" by the same people who can't keep their baggy, prison pants on?
"Your bad what?" You didn't finish the sentence! This is grammatically incorrect!

Even if you wanted to keep the word "bad," and direct it toward yourself, you would have to say, "I'm bad!"
Why do the dumbest things, made-up by dumb people catch-on? Are "we" really that pathetic that "we" all need to speak like morons and have pants that don't stay on???

Count me out. I might be getting old, but my pants fit and I don't sound like an idiot.

-Cutris out!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

First Shift

It was early. It was "ungodly" early! It was his first shift on the new job. He was the "new guy." The others had been doing this same job for years. He checked in and assumed his position. He'd trained for this, but now it was for real. The shift leader called out the responsibilities and who would assume each one. It was almost time.

"His visuals are coming online," said Dewey, the guy to the left. "I'm requesting lubrication for both the left and right."
"Motor functions are coming online!" shouted the crew chief. "Steady, get those equilibrium stabilizers online! We need it in 3... 2... 1! The new guy calibrated the stabilizers and pressed "enter."
"He's up!" shouted the chief!

So far so good. The cardio-pulmonary readout looked good. It was slowly rising... no spikes...
"He's moving!" cried Dewey.
"He's moving into position. Ready to flush out wastewater!" shouted the crew chief.
"I'm initiating sequence to open the valve," said the new guy.

"Sending signal to reach and push the lever," Dewey said.
"Get ready," cried the crew chief, "He's got the razor, and we need all stabilizers online now!"

****

Cutris looked in the mirror. He had his razor and shaving foam. He was ready to start his day. Little did he know that the crew inside his head included a new guy. All he knew is that he felt slightly shaky this morning.
"It must be the switch to daylight savings time," he said.

END

By Kevin J. Curtis
03/16/2010

Monday, March 15, 2010

Weekend Hiking

On Saturday, we hiked the Bass Ponds. It was cloudy, cool and damp. Here are a few pictures.



I don't usually photograph dead animals. This beaver, however, seemed to have been "frozen in time." Perhaps it had been, until very recently.


















On Sunday, we hiked at the Tamarack Nature Center. It was sunny and the temperature got up to 64 degrees Fahrenheit--which was a new record.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Remembering…

On this foggy morning
We’re remembering you
Our baby boy
Who we lovingly sent home to the Creator

You would have been arriving
Any day now
Our baby boy
Who started so hard and ended so soon

We love you
We miss you
Our baby boy
Your mom and dad

KJC

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Cutris Mission Unsuccessful

Cutris Mission Unsuccessful
UnAssociated Press
March 10, 2010
By Blip Martinson, Staff Reporter

Even the best laid plans can fail.

Click picture to enlarge

This sketch shows the brilliance of the plan Cutris used, which was originally created by Wile E. Coyote to catch the Roadrunner. In this case, Cutris was trying to trap Osama bin Laden by using a Toyota car instead of an ACME product.

Unfortunately, as Cutris told me in an interview last night, the plan had been working, until Al Qaeda's #32 man, Amir Agranny Agoat Ikidyounot found the Toyota car and drove it away! Cutris wasn't sure what he should do at first, so he was late in dropping the anvil. The car sped away and then returned several minutes later with Osama bin Laden as a passenger!

The Toyota suddenly began to speed out-of-control as a result of the accelerator and brake issues that are the subject of recalls. Even though driver, Amir Agranny Agoat Ikidyounot saw the anvil (now in the middle of the road), he was unable to stop in time!

The car hit the anvil at high speed. Al Qaeda's #32 man, Amir Agranny Agoat Ikidyounot was killed on impact. Osama bin Laden, however, was saved by the front airbag. Upon exiting the car, Osama apparently tripped on the anvil and fell on the road. He is thought to be walking with a cane now--which is how he usually walked anyway.

Cutris indicated that he would be leaving Afghanistan soon.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Cutris Talks of his Mission

Cutris Talks of his Mission
UnAssociated Press
March 9, 2010
By Blip Martinson, Staff reporter

Deep in the hills of Afghanistan, I met with Cutris, busy with his latest secret mission. Apparently he has devised a plan, originally used (unsuccessfully) by Wile E. Coyote to catch the Roadrunner. Cutris said he will place a sign in the hills here that says, "Free Toyota Car for Terrorists who Hate America." This sign is reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote's sign that says, "Free Birdseed."

I asked Cutris, "Aren't you worried that the coyote's plans always fail, and that he often is injured in the process?" Cutris replied by saying, "No not really. Wile E. always relied on ACME products. I'm going to use a Toyota." I must have looked puzzled, because Cutris went on to explain that he was sure that if he could just get Osama bin Laden to drive a late model Toyota, the dangers from the many faulty parts currently on recall would cause him to speed out-of-control and careen down a mountain and crash! Cutris explained that his plan was top secret, which is why I wanted to publish it before anyone else found out!

I left Cutris, as he was busy hoisting an anvil high above an "X" marked on the road below. There seemed to be little doubt that he was taking another page from the coyote's book of schemes, as he set another trap for the world's most notorious terrorist.

-Blip Martinson, UAP

Monday, March 08, 2010

Intercepted Transmission

Intercepted Transmission
UnAssociated Press
March 8, 2010

This message was recently intercepted by a U.S. spy satellite. The origin is thought to be somewhere near Afghanistan. Is Cutris on another secret mission?

MESSAGE
"This is Cutris. Will be in position in two minutes, Echo, Delta, Tango, Ricky, Lucy." END

Warning, audio signal is low.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

A Cutris Investigation

Summary of Art Supply Store Investigation
By Cutris

While I was waiting for my wife as she perused the art supply store, I was approached by three drunk women who suggested that the store may be a "front" for some illegal or unethical business. At least that is what it sounded like they said, though as I already mentioned, they were drunk.

With no training in investigation work, I decided that I was uniquely qualified to undertake the task. My wife was still looking at tag board or something, so I guessed I had several minutes to "kill." This should be plenty of time to investigate, I decided.



Upon starting my investigation, I immediately noticed where the line starts. Obviously, my deductive reasoning powers were finely tuned.



"What do we have here?" I asked myself. "'Boneware?' It seems to be 'self-hardening.'"



I noted in my clue book, that it was available in moist form. "This sounds like trouble!"

I also found a sign that said "no books in restrooms." Why would someone take art books in the lavatory? Especially when there was self-hardening clay in moist form? Hmmm...



In pursuit of answers, I decided to look in the restroom. I found another sign! What could this short hose with weak pressure have to do with this mystery?



I decided to knock on the office door to get to the bottom of this mystery!







After knocking for almost twelve minutes, someone opened and swung a baseball bat at me! I ran out of the store to the safety outside. Based on all the evidence, I believe that this "art store," is actually a "house of ill-repute!"

CASE CLOSED!

Monday, March 01, 2010

A Perfect Day at the Creek

We hiked along Nine Mile Creek on Saturday. The sun was warm, and the snow and ice were beautiful. One could not have asked for a more perfect day at the creek!






I'm always amazed that this "ghost tree" still stands. I've seen it like this for many years.




It is the one on the right in the last photo.