The thoughts of a writer.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

If you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes.

I decided to walk up to Target because the rain stopped and the sun was out. In fact, it felt like the sun was burning my neck on the walk to the store. I wasn't gone too long but I bought two bags of stuff and a dust mop and it was raining when I left the store. It's probably about six blocks away, but by the time I got back it was raining pretty hard and I was wet.


Tweet Contained "a racial slur"

Click to enlarge--click "back" to go back!

Labels: , , , ,

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

"Bloody Average" is available now!

Dwight Johnson is an average man out shopping with his family. But when someone points a gun at his baby’s head, dormant instinctive responses emerge that turn this suburban husband and father into a force that is anything but average. Two alternate endings follow Dwight’s son into two different futures—one dominated by guns and violence and the other in a more peaceful way of life. Whichever side of the gun debate you find yourself on, this story will leave you with something to think about.

Labels: , , ,

CuTRis Test Drives Compact Cube

CuTRis Test Drives Compact Cube
UnAssociated Press
June 25, 2013

CuTRis is no stranger to driving around in a Borg Cube. But he was recently seen test driving the new compact model. Though previous versions of the Borg Cube held thousands of occupants, the Borg found while traveling into the future, that future fuel prices are so high--that they have had to scale back the size of the cubes in order to stay within budget! CuTRis reported that he did not like the tiny cubes. He said that he might go for a mid-size cube; but not likely the compact model.

CuTRis Test Drives Compact Borg Cube

Labels: , , , ,

Monday, June 24, 2013

Paula Deen

Paula Deen may have demonstrated some racial biases and is not likely the only one who has ever done so. Those of us with children generally teach them that if you make a mistake, your should own up to it, apologize, learn from it and move on.

Paula Deen has admitted her mistake and apologized. Yet for some people in America that is not good enough and only her total ruin will satisfy their dangerous hatred. If your child lives around these people, the lesson would be to deny your wrong doing, hide it at all cost, and continue lying to preserve yourself. This is a very sad thing and it reminds me of the horrible mentality of about half of the people I worked with at the county years ago. I think we can do better. I think our children deserve better too.

Edward Snowden

Edward Snowden believes he is exposing U.S. government secrets to enhance our personal freedoms. He is young and if he grows older he may realize someday that his view is not as wide as he once believed it to be. In our world of terrorists we need to sacrifice a few freedoms to avoid devastating attacks. The government needs to do a better job of screening who holds our secrets. Snowden is in reality, a traitor running from his own government and could be executed as such. This is a sad story for all involved.

Vince Flynn

Goodbye to local author Vince Flynn. I don't know if there are writers in the afterlife--but writers are storytellers and I'm sure there are stories to tell everywhere.

Friday, June 21, 2013

A Tribute to Carl

If you read this blog, you might remember that my former coworker Carl likes bananas. Since the server is down and I can't do any real work, I decided to make this video for Carl. He actually drew the original picture of himself--which I used for my production.

Bloody Average

Dwight Johnson is an average man out shopping with his family. But when someone points a gun at his baby’s head, dormant instinctive responses emerge that turn this suburban husband and father into a force that is anything but average. Two alternate endings follow Dwight’s son into two different futures—one dominated by guns and violence and the other in a more peaceful way of life. Whichever side of the gun debate you find yourself on, this story will leave you with something to think about.

Click here for "Bloody Average"

Click here for Paperback

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, June 20, 2013

List of Failed Businesses

A list of short-lived businesses/organizations

Islamic Pork Products
Vatican Condoms
Burka Modeling Agency
Amish Technologies
Ethiopian Defense Industry
Addiction Pharmaceuticals
National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP)
Ex-Con Security Company
Drunken Wife-Beater Counseling
NRA Daycare
International Smuggling Vacations
Toxic Cosmetics
Deadly Encounters Dating Service
Conservation Lumber
Big Ripoff Plumbing & Heating
Nuclear Pest Control
Kwalidy Publeshing Cumpany

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Runnin' Away Won't Save Ya!

Like many children who grew up during my era, the Looney Tunes characters were instrumental in my development. So even now I revert back to the classic lines of my animated heroes. One of these comes up frequently when I am chasing after my son to brush his teeth, change his diaper or whatever the current situation needs. My son thinks it is enormous fun to run away and he laughs and soon I find myself quoting Sylvester the Cat when he would say, "Runnin' away won't save ya!"


Rosevill Tates

Ah yes... the "Roseville Tates..."

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

CuTRis Finds End of the Line

CuTRis Finds End of the Line
UnAssociated Press
June 18, 2013

CuTRis has literally found the end of the line.
After finding it, CuTRis decided to go home.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Pork Ribs

Recipe for these pork spare ribs:
Preparation: Rub canola oil on ribs to retain moisture and add eight different (shake) herbs and spices. (Everything is cooked on charcoal grill.) First, cook potatoes and zucchini in foil. Then roast corn in husk after soaking in water. Next cook skinless chicken legs to brown. Then as storm begins to blow and rain comes down, put slab of ribs on grill. Start dinner with family as storm grows in intensity. Then after ten minutes or so, go outside in the rain and quickly flip ribs and close grill and run back inside to minimize being soaked by rain. After ten or fifteen minutes go out and retrieve ribs--again being sure to get rained on. Bring ribs to house--go back into the rain and get wet securing grill. Run back into house and enjoy ribs and other grilled food as the wind subsides and sun begins to shine. 


Owl Cars

My son has a set of these cars (he calls cars "Beep beep" from his mom and grandparents referring to them that way). As soon as his mom gave him these particular cars, he started calling them "owl!"

He knows the names of lots of animals from his books (he loves to have us read to him). At first my wife wasn't sure why he called them owls. I looked at the big lights and said, "I think it is because of their big eyes."


Father's Day 2

My second Father's Day as a dad.


Friday, June 14, 2013

Strong Tongue!

I heard that the tongue is one of the strongest muscles in our body. I was skeptical, but just the same I started lifting weights with my tongue in case it was true. All of that work has paid off! Yesterday a house fell on me as I was walking down the sidewalk--but I quickly used my tongue to push it off. Those tongue exercises probably saved my life! It's all pretty amazing if you think about it...

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Horse Hockey!


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

No Shoulder Driving

After seeing some "No Shoulder Driving" signs, I decided to try it for myself. It is pretty hard to drive with your shoulder--so I can understand why it isn't recommended.

Labels: ,

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Mischief in Overdrive

Mr. Mischief
In the last week or so, my son has stepped up his mischief level by quite a bit. He seems to be testing his mom and me at every moment. He will go from one "no no" thing to the next and frequently looks me right in the eye as he does it. It is all very funny to him, and trying to get it through to him that he is being naughty is not easy! I raise my voice and look him in the eye--and then he smiles and goes to the next thing he has been told not to do 100 times before. I guess this is part of his development and becoming so mobile. We have to watch him constantly or he is climbing furniture, pulling at electrical cords or reaching for the stove knobs. His language skills are increasing as rapidly as the mischief; and when he is removed from something he shouldn't be into, he will shake his head and say, "No no. Uh uh!" Basic activities like dressing him can sometimes be a wrestling match because he doesn't want to stay still. He was watering plants the other day with his mom (he has his own small watering can) and ended up watering himself. Of course, he had a big smile on his face afterward...


Monday, June 10, 2013

CuTRis Leaks Justice Dept. Phone Spying

CuTRis Leaks Justice Dept. Phone Spying
UnAssociated Press
June 10, 2013

Regarding the U.S. Department of Justice's spying on phone records in the name of national security, CuTRis leaked this statement to the press. "I'm OK with it."

Labels: ,

Friday, June 07, 2013

Beware of Bottle Bombs!

I received this warning from my US Fish & Wildlife Service Contacts--as I am a volunteer ranger.


Labels: ,

Government Phone Records Benefits Baseball Investigation

Government Phone Records Benefits Baseball Investigation
UnAssociated Press
June 7, 2013

As phone records are being sought as evidence in a Major League Baseball drug investigation, it was not determined how those records would be obtained--until the agency in the U.S. Government collecting phone records, said,
"Here you go! We have them!"

Labels: , , ,

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Question of the Day

What would one say, if two people, were staring at a three-dimensional object for four minutes--on the Fifth of June, on Sixth Avenue, in the Seventh District at eight minutes after Nine-O’clock--while trying to be the tenth caller to a radio station trying to give away eleven tickets to a concert on the evening of the 12th--which happened to be the thirteenth contest they had entered in the last fourteen months?

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

"Truth" in Advertising

What was it made with before?

This might be "more truthful"

Labels: ,

The Spoon

Last Saturday evening we attended a wedding at the Radisson Blu at the Mall of America. My son who is a year and a half old, was also invited and while the hotel was very nice, we found no where, not even in the fancy bathrooms, was there a place to change a baby's diaper!

My baby boy liked the big windows and the view and at one point while he was playing in one he decided to drop his spoon (we brought a spoon that is for baby's--which he insisted on carrying with him) into an air vent below the window. My wife brought me over to see "if I could get it."

"Armed" with a butter knife, I looked down the vent and saw the spoon some two feet below. There was no hope of retrieving it. So now this posh hotel that isn't very "baby friendly," has a baby spoon inside of it... forever. Or at least until someone opens up that vent to clean it.


Monday, June 03, 2013

Grilled Salmon

I grilled this over charcoal yesterday.