The thoughts of a writer.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

West Wilkie Winter Hike

Monday, my wife and I went hiking in West Wilkie (Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge).
It was a beautiful day! We saw a lot of deer signs, some swans and a small group of Hooded Mergansers on the Minnesota River. Here's a couple photographs.

Swans and ducks on Blue Lake

The Beaver Dam

Many tracks on the pond between Blue Lake and Fisher Lake

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Band Christmas Party

Here's a couple of pictures from the annual band get-together.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Disclaimer: If you are offended by this reference to Christmas, get over yourself and join the global society. Feel free to wish me a happy Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or whatever else you can come up with.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Minnesota Vikings - December 2008

Every year the Minnesota Vikings look good on paper. Every year I wish for the best. Every year they bring me hope and then rollover and die.

After a horrible start this season, Tarvaris Jackson was replaced by Gus Frerotte at Quarterback. Then Gus was injured playing Detroit and Tarvaris came back and looked good!

The (super-annoying) commentators can't seem to talk about much besides how great Adrian Peterson is. Half the time, these know-it-alls are calling Chester Taylor, Peterson. Taylor is an exceptional running back who not only makes Peterson better by taking his turn, but he adds the dimension of being able to catch the ball as well as run with it.

No doubt Adrian Peterson is good and he can break some nice runs, but yesterday against Atlanta he showed his weakness. He can't seem to hang onto the ball and dropped it or fumbled a ridiculous number of times.

In Peterson's defence, others on the team couldn't hold onto the ball either. Hey! Do you guys know where the term, "dropped the ball" came from???

If you don't believe me, just ask coach Brad "um" Childress.
"Um... can't keep um giving up the um ball..."

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Cutris & Santa to go on Secret Mission

Cutris & Santa to go on Secret Mission
UnAssociated Press
December 18, 2008

Reports out of Washington D.C. indicate that Barack Obama has given Cutris a special security position for a secret mission that will be detailed on the Oprah Winfrey show later this week. Apparently President-elect, Obama, is entrusting Cutris to accompany Santa Claus to make sure that presents are delivered to all the good little boys and girls in an effort to stimulate the economy.
"It's a huge honor," said Cutris, "I knew that online course I took in Shaolin and Kung Fu would come in handy!"

Cutris and Santa are expected to leave the evening of December 24th, and finish early in the morning the next day. They will be taking a flying sleigh powered by eight tiny reindeer. Both assured reporters that their super-secret mission would be successful despite the threats from Al-Qaeda and the Grinch.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Close Call

It’s dark out.
It’s dark a lot this time of year.
The temperature is subzero and my car’s fan is blowing against the inside windows to keep them from frosting over.
The roads are still slippery from the recent snow and “black ice.”
The wind whips ice particles in front of my car as I work my way to the left lane to catch that left exit.
I keep a reasonable distance between my car and the one ahead.
This seems to annoy the other drivers who continue to change lanes.
The car behind me is so close I can’t see its headlights.
We’re all moving quickly down the freeway.
At last, the truck behind me is back what seems like a safe distance.
Suddenly I see red lights and traffic stops in front of me.
I have just enough room to stop safely, but I look behind me and the truck is sliding sideways toward me.
The truck screeches and ends up between my car and the freeway barrier.
My new Fusion has narrowly missed being crunched from behind.
Gradually traffic begins to move again.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Schoolyard Holiday Classics

Now at last, the CD you've been waiting your whole life for!
Cutris sings Schoolyard Holiday Classics!

Hear Cutris sing the holiday schoolyard favorites, acapella like you remember them!
Songs like,

"Jingle Bells, Batman Smells"
"Walkin' in my Winter Underwear" and
"Rudolph the Red-Gun Cowboy"

Celebrate the holidays with these favorites for only $68.95 + 12.97 for shipping and handling!
Send check or money order to

Cutris Schoolyard Holiday Classics Ripoff
12345 Ripoff Way
Tokyo, Montana 91728

Friday, December 12, 2008

Gas Prices

This morning, gasoline prices went up 32 cents per gallon (where I buy it), since yesterday. This due to the expectation that OPEC will reduce production. Don't expect the recent trend of gas prices declining to continue forever...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The New Shtick 9-Lives Razor!

Are you tired of razors with only two, three, maybe four blades?
Try the new Shtick 9-Lives Razor! ™
This revolutionary nine (9) bladed razor will cut through anything!

The first blade sends an email to the second blade, asking for permission to cut the hair.
The second blade calls the third blade via cell phone, to ask the fourth blade out to lunch.
The fifth blade meets the other blades for a conference which results in the sixth blade doing a feasibility study.
The seventh blade signs off on the project, causing the eighth blade to bend the hair over.
The ninth blade cuts the hair off for the smoothest most bureaucratic shave possible!

Try the new Shtick 9-Lives Razor! ™
Available at fine stores everywhere!

Cutris Cleared!

Cutris Cleared of Wrongdoing!
UnAssociated Press
December 11, 2008

Cutris has been cleared of charges that he purchased Barack Obama's vacated senate seat from Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich for 50 cents. When asked about the story that sprung yesterday, Cutris said, "Those *&^%#@#$% will say anything to get a story!"

Cutris has been cleared by the senate, Barack Obama, Scotland Yard and Barney (the purple dinosaur).

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Cutris Bought Senate Seat from Rod Blagojevich???

Cutris may have Bought Senate Seat from Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich!
UnAssociated Press
December 10, 2008

Former presidential candidate Cutris, may be involved in yet another scandal! Allegations from an unknown source, suggest that Cutris may have bought Barack Obama's vacated senate seat for 50 cents. No verifiable proof exists of this allegation.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Keep Asking, Somebody will Agree...

I've noticed a trend with certain people. They want things a certain way and won't accept that their direction is flawed. So, they keep asking more people until finally, hopefully, someone will validate their methods, however unwise or costly.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

How to Make a Great Breakfast Burrito

To make a great breakfast burrito, you begin by making an omelet. For that refer to my previous blog, How to Make a Great Omelet.
Then simply use the spatula to move the "omelet" to a plate and cut it to the size appropriate for your tortilla. You won't be folding the egg, instead add meat, cheese, salsa and sour cream if desired. Warm your tortilla wrappers on both sides in the pan, and place the finished egg in the middle. Fold the ends in and roll it up. Below are the steps in pictures. This is a breakfast favorite for me and my wife.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Acid Attacks on Women in South Asia

When women are not considered as important as men, only bad can come of it.
It starts with selling daughters as wives, essentially turning them into livestock with a price.
Then, as these insecure men seek to control the women, they may use drastic measures such as acid attacks to terrorize women into behaving the way the screwed-up male population wants them to. This is often done in areas where religion, culture and dress has changed little in 2000 years. Modern women scare these backward thinkers.
We can only hope that this stops soon.

Getting there is often a matter of taking a series of steps. Remove any step along the way, and you may change things. Follow blindly because it is expected, and you perpetuate it. Those of us who live in safe places should lead by example.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Holiday Gift Idea

How about giving to charity instead of buying Christmas presents?