The thoughts of a writer.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Red Green's Car?

I saw this Subaru with Wisconsin license plates on the freeway. The back window was either duct taped on, or the tape was being used for some other Red Green type of reason. Beautiful isn't it?

Click on picture to enlarge: Click 'back' to go back

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Thursday, September 26, 2013

"My Orange Butt"

My Orange Butt is Broadway's breakout new hit!
"Go see My Orange Butt!," says the Lavender Newsletter.
"Visually stunning!" says the Optometrist's Weekly.
"Get excited about My Orange Butt!" says Some Guy in a Dress.

"My Orange Butt"

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

CuTRis blogspot com Woods Q & A

CuTRis Answers Ten Questions about the Woods.

Click Here to see video.

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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

CuTRis May Have Put Voodoo Spell on State Computers

CuTRis May Have Put Voodoo Spell on State Computers
UnAssociated Press
September 24, 2013


The problem with the state of Minnesota's computer system Is now thought to be the work of CuTRis. Apparently CuTRis has put a Voodoo spell on the system. CuTRis was busy sharpening pins and so was unavailable for comment at the time this story went to print.

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What if Dumb Wins?

Assume if you will, that "dumb" ends up winning. People all over are already saying, "my bad!" It is trendy to wear "prison pants" that are worn below the butt. Ignorance, vulgarity and bad manners are seen by many as attributes to strive for. So if "they" finally win out, what will the world be like? I envision turning on the TV to see a commercial like this one...


Come to think of it... some commercials are already worse than that.

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Monday, September 23, 2013

$299 Lunch!




For $299 it better include a cookie!

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Big Boy Pants

No, not my son--me. It's not summer anymore so I had to switch from shorts to long pants. It was a good run though it started late with a colder than normal June.

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Sunday, September 22, 2013

CuTRis Donates Temple

CuTRis Donates Temple
UnAssociated press
September 22, 2013


CuTRis has apparently donated his temple to a group of men who were all wearing red robes. Critics say CuTRis did this as a tax dodge--which is what he was trying to accomplish in the first place. When asked to comment about these allegations, CuTRis began speaking in the Ket language; which no one understood.

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Friday, September 20, 2013

CuTRis Released Without Charges

CuTRis Released Without Charges
UnAssociated Press
September 20, 2013


While preparing to plead, "Innocent by reason of Stupidity," in front of a Quart-of-Slaw today, CuTRis was released after all charges were dismissed. Apparently law enforcement officials had not read CuTRis his Miranda Rights in the Ket language, which was the particular language that CuTRis was using that day as part of his religious beliefs.

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CuTRis Speaks to Access Hollywood

CuTRis Speaks to Access Hollywood
UnAssociated Press
September 20, 2013


Since no one else was interested, CuTRis spoke to Access Hollywood from jail this morning. Later, the UnAssociated Press pirated this video from Access Hollywood--that shows CuTRis speaking about his struggle during his arrest yesterday.

 

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CuTRis is in Jail

CuTRis is in Jail
UnAssociated Press
September 20, 2013


CuTRis is reported to be in jail this morning awaiting formal charges of fraud, operating a cult, and resisting arrest.

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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Authorities Raid CuTRis Temple

Authorities Raid CuTRis Temple
UnAssociated Press
September 19, 2013


Armed federal marshals stormed the CuTRis temple this morning citing only that CuTRis had "really pissed someone off this time!"

CuTRis was last seen being led away in handcuffs shouting something about religious persecution.

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CuTRis Outlines CuTRisism

CuTRis Outlines CuTRisism
UnAssociated Press
September 19, 2013


According to a statement released by CuTRis, his new religion revolves around enlightenment. He also said there might be beer involved--but the details have not been worked out yet. CuTRis was sitting on a small throne during the press conference. Eventually, however, he said that he was growing tire of reporters and he needed to go meditate.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

CuTRis May Have Started His Own Religion

CuTRis May Have Started His Own Religion
UnAssociated Press
September 18, 2013


Speculation around CuTRis living in a temple, is that he may have started his own religion as a tax dodge. CuTRis was unavailable for comment when channel 4 news crews arrived. They were all wearing horrid sweaters and CuTRis merely shook his head in disgust.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Hector Alphonzo Simplex

CuTRis May Be Living in Temple

CuTRis May Be Living in Temple
UnAssociated Press
September 17, 2013

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 


This photo is responsible for the new rumor that CuTRis may now be living in a temple.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Window Washer




"Honest, no one knew the window washer was still out there. It wasn't until after that storm that we saw his hand waving... well it really wasn't moving I guess."



 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Fog

Is This Why My Eyes Turned Green?

Sometime ago I wrote about how as a kid I told my mom I needed Oreos to keep my eyes brown. Well I've noticed my eyes have been changing color to green over the years and Now I think I might have found out why!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

CuTRis Discovers Weapons-Grade Acorns

CuTRis Discovers Weapons-Grade Acorns
UnAssociated Press
September 12, 2013



Undocumented sources reported today that CuTRis has discovered a large supply of Weapons-grade acorns. At least one source said this is proof that we should "bomb the hell out of" numerous foreign countries. When asked where he found the acorns, CuTRis responded that they were "beneath a large tree."

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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

9-1-1 Twelve Years Ago

Twelve years ago I was working in a very negative environment. One day something really bad happened. The people I worked with were typically divided down racial lines. I was among those who were in disbelief and shock at the tragedy of that day, while the other extreme let out shouts of delight when the word came that anyone who felt they needed to leave work could go and they would still be paid. The fore mentioned group filed out laughing and carrying on because they were given a "holiday." I stayed and worked because I was too upset to have a "fun" day off. I lived near the airport at the time and also as a child so I was used to airplane noise. There was none when I got home. I had trouble sleeping--not because of jet noise--but because I could barely hear that lone F-16 patrolling at high altitude. It was eerie and I will never forget that day or the horrible people who caused the disaster and that disgusting reaction by a certain group of my coworkers. The USA had the sympathy of most of the world--yet later squandered that by military action that was not carefully thought out. I hope today we have learned something about reprisals and when/where/how/if they should be done; in light of the current Syria issue. I've recovered now twelve years later--but much has happened since then. Remember today the people who died and the heroes who rushed to their aid. Then go on with your life--because those who did this evil cannot win if that is what we do.

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CuTRis Back Home From Mars

CuTRis Back Home From Mars
UnAssociated Press
September 11, 2013


His aim was good as CuTRis has apparently used a giant slingshot to shoot himself back from the planet Mars. At a top secret televised debriefing, CuTRis recounted his journey home. The secret transcript is published below.


Dramatization
"When I first landed on Mars there wasn’t much to do except hold my breath and hangout. Later, I found some water which was good 'cuz I was pretty thirsty. I met some Martians and let them try the water. They liked it and realized that they were really thirsty too! Well, they started drinking all my water so I decided to charge them for it. The first thing I bought (from them) was a tank of oxygen. I hadn't breathed any air for quite a while--since the atmosphere on Mars has hardly any oxygen. Well pretty soon the Martians were charging me a lot for the oxygen when they realized I needed it to live. Well that made me mad and I raised the price of water! Pretty soon they're pointing ray guns at me and talking about the Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator! Well I contacted ACME and ordered a super-giant slingshot. I buried the end in the ground and loaded a big rock in it. I stretched the band, took a big breath of oxygen from my last oxygen tank and then I released the slingshot and grabbed onto the rock as it flew away! I went flying off of Mars and headed back toward the Earth. It took a while, so I had to pee pretty bad when I finally landed on Earth. Worst of all, it got really hot when I came though the Earth's atmosphere! In fact, it burned off all of my back hair! Do you know how long it took me to grow that stuff??? Well anyway, I landed in Woody Allen's pool! I swam out and who did I see but Woody himself! Well he was pretty nice and he offered me some water and let me use his bathroom. There was plenty of oxygen now that I was on Earth again so I was happy! Then I thanked Woody and went home.

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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Meteor May Be Attributed to CuTRis

Meteor May Be Attributed to CuTRis
UnAssociated Press
September 10, 2013

A meteor seen streaking toward Earth this morning has now been attributed to CuTRis in his recent attempt to return home from the planet Mars.

 

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CuTRis May Have Found Transportation Home

CuTRis May Have Found Transportation Home
UnAssociated Press
September 10, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that due to a dispute with the Martians over recent transactions on the planet Mars, CuTRis has secured a means of transportation to get back to Earth.

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 

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Monday, September 09, 2013

CuTRis May Be Fighting with Martians

CuTRis May Be Fighting with Martians
UnAssociated Press
September 9, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may now be in a dispute with the Martians over recent transactions on the planet Mars.

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 

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CuTRis May Be Buying Oxygen From Martians

CuTRis May Be Buying Oxygen From Martians
UnAssociated Press
September 9, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have been unable to hold his breath any longer--and may now be buying oxygen from the Martians on Mars.

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 

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Friday, September 06, 2013

CuTRis May Be Selling Water on Mars

CuTRis May Be Selling Water on Mars
UnAssociated Press
September 6, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have made contact with Martian life on Mars and is probably selling water to them.
 
Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 

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CuTRis May Have Found Martians

CuTRis May Have Found Martians
UnAssociated Press
September 6, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have made contact with Martian life on Mars.

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 

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CuTRis May Be Driving Rover on Mars

CuTRis May Be Driving Rover on Mars
UnAssociated Press
September 6, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have found and now be driving the Mars rover on Mars.

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.
 

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Thursday, September 05, 2013

CuTRis May Have Found Water on Mars

CuTRis May Have Found Water on Mars
UnAssociated Press
September 5, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may have found water on Mars.
 
Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back.

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CuTRis May Be on the Red Planet

CuTRis May Be On the Red Planet
UnAssociated Press
September 5, 2013


This photo of CuTRis appeared today; leading to speculation that he may currently be on the Red Planet.

Click on picture to enlarge and "back" to go back. 

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Wednesday, September 04, 2013

CuTRis Visits the Federation

CuTRis Visits the Federation
UnAssociated Press
Stardate 20130804.712


This photo of CuTRis apparently on Starbase Not In Time, is leading to speculation that he is visiting the United Federation of Planets.


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Syria is No-Win

Regarding the Syrian issue, "You're damned if you do; and you're damned if you don't.
The warmongers were saying Obama should authorize the use of force (i.e. bombs) without the approval of the rest of the planet. Others wanted the cooperation of the rest of the world. So, when Obama decided to wait, like what a responsible person would do, he has been dubbed a "wimp" by the war mongers. This issue is another no winner--just like Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. The USA will either look like bullies, or like wimps. Most people are never happy with the decision--whatever it is. Perhaps I will move to Mars.

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Tuesday, September 03, 2013

CuTRis is Accused of Being Heavy-Handed

CuTRis is Accused of Being Heavy-Handed
UnAssociated Press
September 3, 2013


CuTRis has been accused of being heavy-handed. CuTRis denied these allegations until someone brought a scale in and weighed his hand. CuTRis had to agree that his hand weighed a lot.

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