The thoughts of a writer.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Tears

The rain reflects my feelings,
Subtle tears falling for a child whose steps will not be heard.
I know it is for the best,
But I cannot help but to feel sad on this rainy day.

I turn toward the future,
But my wife and I will never forget the past few days.
I love her more than ever.
Our lives are changed forever by the child who never was.

-Kevin J. Curtis

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The many uses of Tape

Here are just a few of my favorite kinds of tape.


Invisible Tape, for taping invisible things.


Masking Tape, to make masks out of.


"Duck" Tape, in case your duck breaks.

Mounting Tape, To keep the dog from falling off.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Cutris Becomes Extremely Animated

Cutris Becomes Extremely Animated
UnAssociated Press
October 26, 2009

Cutris became extremely animated today, when he was asked to give a brief history of mounting tape. His talk went on for about five minutes, and was very entertaining.

Mounting Tape



















Cutris becomes animated.

Be Cool Stay in School!

My brother-in-law Kou, graduated with his BS in Digital Arts on Friday.
I made this PSA for staying in school that evening.

"Be Kou, Stay in Schoo'" video

Friday, October 23, 2009

Email Scammer: Dumber than a Sack of Hammers

Here is the latest correspondence between me (top in blue), and "Mr. Lawson Jean," Internet scammer "extraordinaire" (below).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Dumb Ass,

I can hardly believe how dumb you are. Your dumbness transcends normal dumbness, and transforms it into an innate, ridiculously dumb realm that is usually reserved for cartoon characters. Despite that, I'm going to type some bogus numbers that could resemble a bank account in some really dumb place, such as where you must be from.

First Bank of my Butt: 123-UR-S0-Dum-456

I look forward to to this transaction that "is very proctecd with you." Yada yada, buttface, indigo.

Insincerely yours,

Superman's Grandma

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:32:24 -0700
From: lawsonjean2@yahoo.com
Subject: REPLY.
To: my email

Dear Superman ,

im very happy to read from you to today to know whom you are i must let you know that it realy give me the full mind and trust to work with you in this transaction as one brother hence as matter of fact this transaction is very proctecd with you.

However i want you to confirm to me about the bank account so that i will send you the application letter to enable you be incontact with the bank here for claimof the funds to your country.

Thanks and waiting your urgent reply.
Yours partner
MR LAWSON JEAN.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-

Thursday, October 22, 2009

"Lawless Genes," expurrt email scammer

This reply from the email scammer came today. My new reply is above it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear brother, Mr. Lawless Genes,

Thank you for not reading my email and for supplying me with this bunch of crap about the 100% risky transaction. Rest assured, that I have not told anyone except the FBI and Interpol. I look forward to meeting you face to face, so I can kick you in the gnads, if you have any.

Here is the information that you have requested,

NAME: SUPERMAN - You must have missed this when you didn't read the previous email.
AGE:116 - But I workout
ADDRESS: 1122 Boogey-Boogey Avenue
COUNTRY: Krypton - I guess you missed this part too...
PROFESSION: Special Agent, in charge of Internet Scams
TEL: 555-555-1234
FAX: 555-555-5678

I look forward to closing this deal, blazay, factoid, Nebuchadrezzar.

Your friend and partner,

Cutris... I mean "Superman"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:14:07 -0700
From: lawsonjean2@yahoo.com
Subject: Thanks for mail.
To: my email

Dear Partner,

Thank you very much for your response. First I want to let you know that Togo is in West Africa country and Lome is the capital city and that I am a chistian. I want to let you know that I have carefully reseach and plan for the execution of this transaction. All the necessary arrangement to make it a legal and successful transaction have been meant and I need you to just put a finishing touches on this for the consummation.

and i want you to know that this transaction is %100 free riske and for that you have noting to worry about hence i am with you here on any area you may not understand by the bank. i will suplly you evry inforamtions to make suer the fund transfer to your account in your country savetly. and i must let you know that this transaction need both of us to work together as one family hence we are going to meet our selfe face to face when we progress with it in your country. So please my good partner fee free for there is noting to worry about this transaction is going to be of benefit to both of us at the end we will see goodness of it when it is done. and i want you to know that i contcated you for this transaction to be my partner and brother .

I will direct you on what to do and you have to follow the instruction carefully to apply to the Bank where they we approved and transfer the fund to your designated account. You may need to open a new account without any fund on for the transfer of this fund. if You don't have to mixed your private fund with this money to avoid confusion at the end of the transfer and also for security reasons..

I will like to have the following information from you to anable me prepared
other important documents in your name to prepared you to submit application of claim to the Bank for the approval and transfer of the fund to your account and as soon as you do that the Bank will not delay to transafer the funds into tour account over ther in your country and when you infom me of that i will be coming to your country for my onw shere and you will have your own 40% of the total fundsfor your kind assist. and also we can do some investmen in your country together in any area that you know it will be good for a business investment overe there .. so plesae my Dear partner i realy want you to take me as your realy blood brother hence i beleive as soon as we progress with this transaction we shall meet our selfe face to face as one family.

Things needed from you now are bellow so that we can move foarward with this transaction.
YOUR NAME:
AGE:
ADDRESS:
COUNTRY:
PROFESSION:
TEL:
FAX ANY:

I will need to talk with you to let you know more of what you have to do to
get this transaction successfully completed. You can let me have you private phone number and the best time to call you to discuss this very sensitive transaction..
Finally I will want you to assure me that you will keep this transaction strictly know to yourself alown. It is very important to keep this transaction confidential to avoid it been jeopardise.

I will wait for you to get back to me with the information.
Thanks once again and God bless.
Mr LAWSON JEAN.
You can call me
on my private number
+228-989-75-88


-

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Urgent Please" email scams

Here's my reply to the latest email scam I got. My answer is above the original.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friend (who I've never met),

I'm "Superman!" I come from a planet called Krypton! I can help you!

I was intrigued by your email (that was sent to someone else). I understand that many people in Africa have millions of dollars that they want to share with poor Americans.

You probably want my bank information, but I have a better idea. I am in need of a goat. My lawn is covered by leaves from the trees as fall sets in. A goat could eat these leaves and then I wouldn't have to rake!

Please send all of your goats to Minnesota, "Attention, Superman."

Thanks Mr. Lawson Jean!

Cutris

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:23:47 -0700
From: ecobank_ltogo@yahoo.com
Subject: URGENT PLEASE
To: dotbum@hotmail.com

URGENT PLEASE

Dear Friend,

I m Mr LAWSON JEAN.. From lome Togo West Africa Country..Please i need your urgent assistance to transfer the sum of $11.3million immediately to your country. i will await your urgent responds so that i will give you evry details about this transaction for you to
follow it up immediately.

Thanks and your urgent responds is needed if you are intrested please.

Mr LAWSON JEAN .
Phone Contact +228-989-75-88

-

Friday, October 16, 2009

Road Trip

We took a short road trip today through Prescott, Wisconsin, Redwing, Minnesota and then stopped by the Watt Munisotaram, Buddhist Temple between Farmington and Hampton, Minnesota.


The Wisconsin side of the Mississippi River.


Watt Munisotaram Buddhist Temple

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

M & M Cleaners

In case your M & M's get dirty!


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

West Wilkie Hike

Today I hiked in the west end of the Wilkie Unit in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge. Here are a few pictures that I took.








Early Snow!

The early snow barely gave me time to dig out my carrots, beets and potatoes!
















But isn't it beautiful? Especially when the cardinal shows up!

Friday, October 09, 2009

Widespread Outages Blamed on Cutris

Widespread Outages Blamed on Cutris
UnAssociated Press
October 9, 2009

Cutris has allegedly unplugged the vinculum. Whether or not he will plug it back in is unknown at this time. A vinculum expert has been summoned from Bangladesh, to Washington D.C. to try to prevent further vinculum-related disasters. Cutris' whereabouts are currently unknown. He is presumed to be out hiking in the woods.

Video
video

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Cutris Threatens to Unplug Vinculum

Cutris Threatens to Unplug Vinculum
UnAssociated Press
October 8, 2009

This picture shows Cutris about to unplug the vinculum. Looking defiantly at the camera, he is only seconds from causing chaos.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Cutris Testifies Before Senate Subcommittee

Cutris Testifies Before Senate Subcommittee
UnAssociated Press
October 7, 2009

Cutris testified before a senate subcommittee today, detailing how people employed in technology are not valued, or respected as much as the so-called, “professionals” employed by the same organizations that they work at.

I am not allowed to voice my displeasure when someone ruins an installation or causes problems by blatantly disregarding basic technology guidelines!” He continued by saying, “There is a ‘culture’ in the workplace that technology work is not as important as what the ‘professionals’ do. Recently, I contributed to a report and everyone’s name was listed in the credits except mine—even though they used my contribution, line-for-line verbatim!”

The senators seemed unconvinced by Cutris’ argument, leading to this outburst,
“What if I unplugged the vinculum? Would you senators know what to do???”
Cutris was then censored and escorted by security out of the senate chambers.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

"Fun Size" Candy Bars

Whoever thought of "Fun Size" candy bars?
Wouldn't they be more fun if they were a lot bigger?
I mean... why is a tiny, bite-size candy bar so much fun?
I think it would be more fun to have a candy bar that was 4' long, 2' wide and about 6" thick!

Monday, October 05, 2009

More Abbreviated Fast Food

Now wait a minute... isn't that where "By's" used to be? I think it was an Arby's before that! Now it is apparently called, "is." I just can't keep track of it anymore!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Here I Am!

Here I am after all these years! As I go through a difficult time, I marvel at all I've been through and all I've done. As my heart aches over the latest trials and tribulations, I realize how blessed I am to have so much. Perhaps wealth is a state of being, rather than an accumulation of assets. We all leave this life with the same amount of money. My days have not all blended together. The variety makes me rich. Here on the "west side" of my life, I appreciate my amazing wife, family, friends, and the accomplishments I've made both great and small. There is still much heartache and much joy to live.