The thoughts of a writer.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Cutris Supports the Environment

Have you ever looked at the natural environment? I mean have you ever really looked at it?

It’s pretty incredible, if you think about it. Next time you’re in the environment, take a close look at something. It could be a tree, an ant, anything!

Presidential Candidate Cutris is a staunch supporter of the environment. In fact, this picture taken only yesterday shows him doing his part supporting it!
Remember to (write-in) vote for Cutris for President in November! The environment will thank you, and so will your kids.

Paid for by the Cutris for President Campaign.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Cutris Asked to be Vice-President

Cutris Asked to be Vice-President
July 30, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Cutris has reportedly been approached by both the McCain and Obama campaigns, in an attempt to get him to run as vice-president with each respective presidential candidate.

When asked about this, Cutris had this to say.
"It's less about them wanting me to run, and more about them not wanting to run against me. With no clear candidate to represent "middle America," they are obviously a little scared of the wide appeal my independent candidacy brings to the race."

Though he continues to rise in the polls, Cutris would be the first candidate to win by write-in vote on a national level, if he succeeds in gaining the White House in November.


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Special Agent Cutris Spotted

Special Agent Cutris Spotted
July 24, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Special Agent Cutris was spotted inside the Excel Energy Center in St. Paul, providing a watchful eye on the preparations for the National Republican Convention.

Cutris was also seen talking to a Secret Asian, who's identity remains a secret. Cutris refused to comment about his activities, the Secret Asian or his Bugs Bunny tie.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Destroyers of our World

Yesterday I went fishing with my wife and brother-in-law. We were at the Coon Rapids Dam. This is part of the Mississippi River. While we were there, it was impossible not to notice the garbage strewn about both in the water and along the shoreline.

I witnessed a grown man throwing rocks at a duck, and a boy who tossed his pop can on the "beach" when he finished with it. These people have no respect for our world and should have rocks thrown at them and be forced to live in garbage.

Both represent a group of people who (more) recently immigrated to this country. My impression of them was very bad, though I know (first-hand) not all of them are like this. Bottom-line, if you want my respect, learn to respect our environment. If you don't care, may you be the first to choke to death on waste.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Cutris Condo For Sale

The Cutris Condo is currently for sale. It is in the Heart of the City, in Burnsville, Minnesota. It is a one bedroom on the second floor. It was remodeled by Cutris and has been painted from top to bottom. Move in condition, $69,900.00.
Within walking distance of numerous stores,
&restaurants, parks and activities, and a great view off of the new deck.

For more information, contact my realtor at,

Friday, July 18, 2008

Range Hood and 7" Damper

We decided that the old range hood in our kitchen had to go. It was pretty dirty and had a "limp."

My wife wanted me to snap a photo of it as we pulled it down so we had it when we went to find a replacement. Of course, the replacements were designed differently now, and the fan was no longer mounted above the hood.

We did run into several problems. One was fitting the new unit in. When we found one small enough (that required only minimal carpentry), there were different fan sizes and we opted for the larger fan. Then for the 7" round duct(like we were replacing), there was no damper included. What's more, no one sold this damper that was a "needed accessory." Ultimately, we cleaned the old damper up using turpentine and installed it above the new range hood.

The final result was a new, vented range hood. When we looked upward when it was on, we could see the dampers on the new unit and the roof cap open. We installed the filter and felt good about a job well done.

So why doesn't Home Depot, Menards, Ace Hardware or the Dey appliance (distributing) store they referred us to have the 7" damper? They sell the range hood that says you need it. Then, nobody carries the stupid thing. The rectangular damper is even included (with the new range hood)! Does everyone use that one?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


We went fishing yesterday and encountered many turtles. All three of us caught one. Below is one of the large Snapping turtles.

Also shown, is what the turtle(s) did to our stringer while we were occupied fishing...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Rude people

I’ve been out and about, enjoying the summer. There are a lot of people that I’ve come in across, and thankfully most of them are pleasant. Still, there are a couple of others who stick out recently because they were so rude and ornery.

If for some reason you find the need to say nasty things to strangers for no good reason (though you may think you have one), I have two things to say to you.

First, what is so wrong with your pathetic life that you need to be rude and nasty to make yourself feel better? How unhappy you must be to hate everyone so badly!

Second, I used to work with a lot of unpleasant people as part of my job. Many were on a regular cycle of periodic incarceration, due (in large part) to their poor attitudes. Eventually two of these people will meet, or one will run across a similar hothead who will react violently to the insult so easily wielded by the first. The result can be that someone gets hurt or even killed.

If your life is so worthless that you don’t care about this, then I pity you.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Game Hens

Here is a picture of last night's dinner. It is a specialty of mine, that I hadn't made in awhile. These are barbecued game hens (i.e. "small chickens"). The sauce was Ken Davis (Original). The only thing wrong with this picture, is that you can't smell or taste them...

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Religious Children’s Fund

While you’re sitting on your butt, eating candy and watching TV, there are children starving in a turd ditch in a third world country. Like little Rosalinda, who lives in the turd ditch, because her family has no money for a hut. But for only 13 cents a day, you can put little Rosalinda up in the Radisson on the other side of town. If you send your pledge now, you can get a picture of Rosalinda, the turd ditch, and vital statistics about both. Are you going to let little Rosalinda continue to live in the turd ditch??? You heartless bastard! Send your pledge in now!
And you don’t have to worry with Religious Children’s Fund, because 97 cents of each dollar goes straight to the turd ditch!

Call now!

Monday, July 07, 2008

Cutris is Patriotic

As John McCain and Barack Obama spar over who is more patriotic, independent presidential candidate Cutris proves who is the most patriotic of all...

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Cottonwood Synopsis

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Friends, Potential Publishers and Agents,

As we humans begin to reassess our place in the world, and how our decisions have affected it, my novel "Cottonwood" takes the reader on a journey through time. Set in a small piece of wilderness in southeastern Minnesota, the landscape is altered, as humans from overseas move into the area.

If we could stand in one place and witness the changes that occur over the decades, or even centuries, we might learn something important about ourselves and the world we live in. The enormous cottonwood trees of the Minnesota River Valley appear like giants within the bottomland forest in the floodplain of the recently rated fifth most endangered river in the United States. These giant trees are the witnesses of our influence, and the anchors to a story that peeks into the lives of the humans and animals that came before us.

The American Indians were the first humans to inhabit the river valley, though the ancient bones in some of the burial mounds are not necessarily representative of the tribes currently in Minnesota. Encroachment by settlers from other lands displaced and pushed the native peoples to the west. From my own singular perspective, I can see how things have changed during my lifetime. Yet when I venture out on my hikes into the magical marshes and woods of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge, I have encountered bits of history both tangible and in spirit.

My explorations lead me to become a volunteer ranger, and my volunteer work led to further explorations. I have traveled extensively (on foot) throughout the eight units of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge, and the surrounding land.

My qualifications as an author come from a lifetime of writing short stories, music, poetry, and of course, my first novel, "He Who Goes First."
ISBN: 1413741908.
I received my Bachelor of Arts degree in English from the University of Minnesota, and my jobs have included, horticulture/landscaping, public library clerk, administrative support in the county chemical health division, and I currently work in technology for a school district and part-time in government television. I also bring a lifetime of interest in wildlife and wilderness areas.

The story follows the growth of a cottonwood tree across nearly a century. The story starts just prior to European influence, with a young warrior running from his enemies. This is a pre-horse culture and as he stops to catch his breath, a few drops of blood run down his fingers and land on the cottonwood seedling –thus the blood of the warrior is incorporated into the makeup of the tree.

As the warrior runs on, the story likewise continues into the future. As the novel covers roughly two centuries, characters will come and go, while demonstrating how life was in this pivotal point in our history. Though the lives of both humans and animals pass through the story, the tree remains the anchor that keeps pulling the novel back together. Eventually, another tree sprouts up and begins its life, as the original begins to die and ultimately succumbs to time. This was necessary to maintain the realism, since cottonwoods generally live around 90 years.

As the story moves ever closer to the modern era, the reader is carried along through the many changes that affect both the human inhabitants, as well as the wildlife in and around the area that would later become the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge.

At one point, ancient bones are dug up during a construction project. While early in the story such a find might be destroyed or pillaged, as the tale progresses, so do the public's ideas and the laws to ensure that the bones are respected and handled properly. At this point, the story takes the liberty of propelling the reader hundreds of years into the past, in order to put a human face on the remains. The reader witnesses the tale of the man's death –through the eyes of his grandson in a world (and even a climate) that is very different from the present.

The story ends with a volunteer park ranger, who spends a lot of time in the bottomland forest. This person gains an appreciation for both the resiliency of the wilderness and also the damage that has been incurred over the decades and centuries.

Target Audience:
My target audience is anyone who likes history and sees the value of historical fiction to bring it alive. Adults and young people who are interested in the natural environment will appreciate this historical and sometimes scientific account. My format appeals to busy people, as my chapters are short. People, who enjoy short stories, will like this series of vignettes that is pulled together by the cottonwood trees and the landscape.

As part of my marketing strategy, I want to utilize Internet technology. Inside the cover of each book, I would like to include the email address,

I created this email account specifically for this novel and plan to use it to allow readers to communicate and ask questions of me. The idea came when a coworker bought a copy of my first novel (He Who Goes First) for her twelve-year-old son, and he excitedly sent his mom to work with daily questions and comments for me. Eventually he visited our workplace to have lunch with me. I would also like to use blogging as a marketing resource.

Kevin J. Curtis - Author of,
“Cottonwood,” Copyright 2008

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Presidential Candidate Cutris Solves Gas Crisis

Presidential Candidate Cutris Solves Gas Crisis
UnAssociated Press
July 1, 2008

Presidential candidate Cutris has solved the problem of soaring gas prices! When asked by an UnAssociated Press reporter about how he would solve the problem, Cutris had this to say...

"The way I see it," said Cutris, "we have two serious problems that can be solved by one solution. First, we have the rising cost of gasoline and diesel fuel, and any petroleum based products. This has caused the price of everything to rise as shipping costs have skyrocketed. Second, we have global warming, which is caused by greenhouse gasses."

"Hear me out, and see if you can follow my logic. If we learn how to use greenhouse gasses for fuel, we could solve both problems!"

Speechless, the reporter could only respond, "I guess so..."