The thoughts of a writer.

Friday, October 31, 2014

No More Office Air

To save money, air will no longer be supplied at the office. Employees who want air, should bring their own air from home. Telecommuting is not an option; as we need employees at their desks in order to maximize discomfort. Rumors of the restrooms being closed are untrue. We are still discussing whether this is a viable option.


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CuTRis to Protest at Vikings/Redskins Game

CuTRis to Protest at Vikings/Redskins Game
UnAssociated Press
October 31, 2014

CuTRis has said he will join all the other people protesting at the Vikings vs. Redskins game on Sunday in Minneapolis. People are outraged that a team would have such a politically incorrect name. CuTRis has said that he is upset that the Vikings would use a group of people (i.e. the Vikings) as their mascot. Being one-quarter Norwegian, CuTRis said his ancestry is not a mascot and he wants a more politically correct name, such as "Team that Sucks at Football."

When asked how he feels about the Redskins name, CuTRis said, "It is probably time to change that name too. I mean if it was the "Blackskins," it would already have been mandated (to change) by the legal system as a "hate crime." If the name was the "Whiteskins," everybody would be like, 'that's a really dumb name!' It is interesting that the (football team at the) nation's capital would have such a politically incorrect name."

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Happy Halloween!


Thursday, October 30, 2014

My Eye Hurts A Little Bit


Why is Kmart Closing?

I went to the Burnsville Kmart recently. I literally had only minutes before I had to go to a meeting, but since the store is closing I wanted to see if I could get a deal on shoes; and boots for my son. I found both and all for 30% off.

When I got home that night, I knew the boots would be big on him, but when I looked at the two child’s boots that were tied together with a cord and had a cardboard tag with the size, I noticed that one boot was bigger. In fact, one was a size larger! They had sold me two different size boots and gave me a receipt that said, "no exchanges and no refunds" (because the Burnsville store is closing).

I was pretty upset so I contacted Kmart Corporate customer service online—and of course, they didn’t get back to me (very quickly).

So the next day, I went to the Kmart in St. Paul (because it is closer for me); and waited in line at customer service. And waited... Between the “competent” staff and the questionable customers, it was not good. I finally got to the front of the line and the first clerk said, "It’s from Burnsville," in the kiss of death voice. She showed the receipt to the other clerk (who seemed more senior) and said again, "look, it's from Burnsville."

I showed the new clerk the two attached boots and the two sizes. Then she asked, "What you want to do just get two the same?" I said, "Yes." "Run on back and see if we have some," she said. So I found a pair of matching boots and she let me switch them.

Then, five days later I got an email from a Kmart Corporate customer service representative. She copied the entire return policy that is on the back of a receipt (from a non-closing Kmart store) and sent it to me. I replied that this was no help at all.

Another day or two passed, and I received an email from an “email adviser” from “Kmart Help.” He told me that I can’t return the boots because they came from a “liquidated store.” I replied to him that he sucks and selling mismatched merchandise as a set to trick customers into buying is a bad policy and it might be one (of many) reason(s) the Kmart stores are continuing to close.

Update 10/31/2014: Received a phone message telling me to check email regarding this issue. Email apologized and offered a coupon for $5 off a purchase of $25 or more. I replied back as to where she could put the coupon...

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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Way to Hurt ISIS

Since ISIS likes to point a hundred cell phones at the atrocities they commit (murder, torture) so they can broadcast it on social media, I say we should bomb the cell towers and Internet infrastructure in their location(s). Take away their cell phones and means to contact the outside world. This shouldn't be too difficult.


Can't Coexist with Colonoscopy?

Click photo to enlarge and "back" to go back


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Stop Political Propaganda at Home

My new sign has effectively eliminated the daily political propaganda that I had to pull out of my door each day!

The "No Solicitors" sign is not enough; as religious and political sellers seem to think it doesn't apply to them for some reason.

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Work Meeting

Why do they always use the idea from the guy in the middle???

Explanation for "young" people. This was a cartoon and "Chumlee" in the middle was not too bright...

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Monday, October 27, 2014

Are You Serious???

Ha ha! I thought you were actually serious for a second there! What? You are serious??? Really? No way! You are? So you're on some kind of a "reality TV" show then huh? No? So then... you are actually serious? You're not making this up? Because... I mean... it is really... umm... Well... OK then! I guess so! Wow! So you think people will care about this then huh? Wow! Yeah... I guess...


9 Mile Creek

60 degrees (F) and sunshine yesterday, made for an amazingly nice walk at 9 Mile Creek.

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Friday, October 24, 2014

What's Wrong with this Picture?

Kmart is closing, but you can still get a job there (with flexible hours)...

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Here is a Real Homeless Person

Bones of Rice Street


Thursday, October 23, 2014

Nice Weather = Panhandlers With Small Backpacks

The nice weather we have been having each afternoon, seems to have brought out the panhandlers. Having worked at one time in social services, I have developed my own opinion on panhandlers. I don't think most of them are legitimate. They hold up cardboard signs proclaiming that they are homeless, out-of-work, stranded, or whatever. Often there is some biblical reference as well such as, "God Bless." A woman panhandler recently had a sign that said she was a homeless single mother; but there were no children with her. Were they at daycare? The men usually have beards. Not like the homeless guy I see on Rice Street—who tends to have a long, unkempt beard, but rather a beard you might see on regular guy who has a beard. In addition to the flannel shirts, etc., they all seem to have, sitting close by, a backpack. The issue I have, is that most elementary school students carry a backpack that is at least as big as the backpacks I saw the other day—which seemed awfully small for a homeless person; many of whom carry all of their worldly possessions with them. How much food, clothing and necessities can one carry in a tiny, child's backpack? Some people will give money to these beggars just in case they are really in need. I don't tend to believe that the "fair weather beggars" who swarm—one per highway ramp during rush hour are really anything more than opportunists who would rather beg for money than earn it. Of course it is possible that the cigarette and bottle of water they have, had been given to them by the previous motorist who went by; but personally I doubt that most of them are really in need.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Scariest Bug Yet!

Elsewhere in this blog I have commented on the distribution of power in my marriage regarding bugs. Well such an occasion occurred just the other day. Being away, I received a message from my wife that she had killed the scariest bug yet. I also received instructions that the deceased was still on the kitchen floor and I was to remove it as soon as I arrived on the premises. My imagination ran wild with this news and I immediately replied to my wife's message asking if she had had to use the plastic sword to dispatch this hideous insect. Then it really hit me. Just how large and creepy was this bug? Indeed my wife had said she killed the intruder—yet if it wasn't dead, I was going to walk right into the mandibles of a six foot tall, hideously wounded insect! As I said, my imagination was running wild... Well as fate would have it, I survived the ordeal. As I carried in several bags of groceries upon getting home, I figured I had a good chance of survival since the $53 worth of food should keep an insect busy for at least a few seconds—hopefully allowing me enough time to run to the closet and get the plastic sword! As I entered the kitchen I saw... nothing. There was absolutely nothing! And by nothing, I am not saying that there weren’t the usual furnishings of a modern American kitchen—because indeed there was. But in the middle of the floor where my wife warned me I would find the gruesome carnage, there was nothing. I carefully put my grocery bags down to examine the crime scene. Then, I saw it! The small and withered remains of a centipede! Obviously though the hours had taken its toll, this small bit of exoskeleton had once been a large and amazingly fast intruder! I was at once in awe of my wife's bravery. She had aimed her shoe with all the destructive power of an RPG and left her adversary utterly annihilated! I reached for a scrap of paper towel and wiped up the residue. I carefully placed the corpse into the wastebasket in the garage so my wife would be satisfied the dead villain was out of the house. Then I went back inside and unpacked my groceries.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

An Old Beer

Not having brewed for some time… for lack of some time, I have been rather conservative with my back stock of homemade beer. None-the-less, I indulged in one of my "Baby’s First Lager" beers during a lasagna dinner yesterday. I was rather happy with the look, taste and carbonation of this lager that had "been in the tank" for 363 days before it was bottled. I’m quite sure I did “everything wrong,” by hauling it to three different cities as we moved twice before landing in our new house. Likely the experts would tell me it tastes awful by now! Yet I thoroughly enjoyed it; cretin that I am...

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CuTRis Street

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Monday, October 20, 2014

Northern Great Lakes Visitor Center

We visited The Northern Great Lakes Visitor Center in Ashland, Wisconsin late last week. It is a great place to explore. There are exhibits (including a simulated dynamite explosion in a copper mine), an observation deck, trails, movies and more! This place is free and very child friendly. My son liked it a lot and so did I.

Visitor Center

One of many murals

View from observation deck

My son sets off the dynamite in the mine... again... and again...

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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

How to Avoid Catching Ebola


No Dumping: Part 2

In case you don't remember "No Dumping: Part 1" CLICK HERE.

Unfortunately for CuTRis, someone quickly and secretly installed a metal sign on a metal pole, cemented in the ground behind him while he was... uhh... "busy."

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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

ID10T Error

Guys, it just will never be as fun to fix your wife's computer once you tell her what the ID10T Error really means.

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Monday, October 13, 2014

Columbus Day to be Renamed

Columbus Day is going to be renamed due to political correctness and Christoper Columbus being historically transformed into a villain. From now on, Columbus Day will be referred to as, "Bad White Man Day." Thank you, that is all.

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Vikings Receive Unfair Criticism

I've been hearing a lot of unfair criticism about the Minnesota Vikings. People are always judging them based on their football playing ability! Sure, if you judge them on that, I agree that they suck. But why doesn't anyone ever judge them on something they are good at? Like for instance, getting arrested. They lead the NFL at that! No one ever says, "Wow! The Vikings sure are good at needlepoint! Now I don't know if they are good at it, but that is the point! Nobody even talks about anything except football! It's football this and football that! OK fine! They can't play football. I don't recall that they ever could! They've gone through countless players and coaches and they still suck. So stop with the criticism everybody! It's not always about football you know! These guys get paid a lot of money to suck! That should mean something! I mean the taxpayers are even buying them a brand new stadium to suck at! And you all can sit there and criticize them! You ought to be ashamed!

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Friday, October 10, 2014

Vikings Kicking in Another $500K for New Stadium

Hey Vikings! Thanks a lot for paying some more for YOUR new (way over budget) stadium—because some of us TAXPAYERS are a little "short" right now from trying to make ends meet. I hope this won't cut into your millions of dollars in profit too much! Yay team! You guys are great... I mean except for sucking on the field and making us buy your stadium and stuff...

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Thursday, October 09, 2014

American Fighting for ISIS Identified

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Blood Moon

I took these photos of the Lunar Eclipse this morning.


Tuesday, October 07, 2014

How to Make Bad Data & Waste My Time

Keep sending the wrong file and by the way, keep opening and saving it in Excel so the numbers get corrupted. Then I can start working on it and realize I can’t get accurate data from it and so stop and ask for new files which will likely be bad too. Then make sure to deny you opened it in Excel. Then later, tell me you can’t open tab files on your computer so I can tell you to stop opening the files and just send them to me the way the vendor intended them to be. Then send me nine more emails with the last one being “when will it be ready?” Because if I get a lot of “are we there yet?” emails, it always SPEEDS up the process because answering garbage is a good use of my time. Oh yeah, then tell me something can’t be seen in the database that doesn’t actually exist—so that I can wade back through the data to tell you something you should already know about your own data. Then make sure to put the ID numbers in the wrong column in your system and then tell me they aren’t showing up in our system. Then give two people the same ID number and tell me my stuff is broken. Then after that, make a really crappy custom report and ask me why it doesn’t work. Then you should send me the same data in 16 different files in 4 formats and act like it is 23 unique files.

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Monday, October 06, 2014

Horses Are Big

Earlier this year, uncle Jim took my son down to the barn to see his horses. They left so quickly that I wasn't with them when they arrived inside the barn and my little boy found himself face-to-face with a horse's head—that was as big as my son's whole body! Well he got scared and I met them hurrying back and the poor little guy was pretty upset.

So my son has been a little scared of large animals for a while since then. But yesterday, we went to see uncle Jim's horses again; and I was with him this time. He even touched the big animals!

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Yet Another Minnesota Viking Arrested

Another Minnesota Viking was arrested over the weekend. So there you go! I told you the Vikings could set an NFL record! They have accumulated the most arrests! Yay team!

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Friday, October 03, 2014

Vikings Fumble Fart and Fall Down

I watched until I couldn't watch anymore (which was early in the third quarter). I can't blame the poor performance just on our quarterback situation even though I sure would have liked to have seen (Rookie) Teddy Bridgewater in there. Christian Ponder didn't seem to be getting any protection. It was a sad thing to see the Packers destroy the Vikings so badly. But to all the Packer fans who are mouthing off today, just remember you beat the Vikings' third-string quarterback.

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After last weekend's temperatures in the 80's (Fahrenheit) and sunshine, we are likely to dip below freezing tonight. I must go and pick my tomatoes and squash. The root crops can wait but the surface crops are done as of today.

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Thursday, October 02, 2014

Wilkie in the Rain

I took my son to the Wilkie Unit of the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge yesterday. The constant rain kept us from doing much hiking; but throwing rocks into the water under the bridge was fun.

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