The thoughts of a writer.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How to make a Great Omelet

I like omelets a lot. The key to a good omelet resides in the ingredients, and how well it is cooked. In order to keep your omelet from being runny in the middle, it should be flipped. This is the most crucial step, as doing it improperly can cause the whole thing to crumble –especially if you like to fill the egg batter with lots of vegetables.

First make sure your pan is hot (but not too hot!) and primed with a little canola oil.
I’ve found that my raw vegetables (for example: onion, pepper, broccoli, mushrooms, tomato, cilantro, *garlic, ginger), added to the eggs (in this case three eggs) and some spices and herbs (for example: Lawry’s, *garlic, Italian herbs, salt, pepper, etc.), cook perfectly along with the frying eggs. The difficulty lies in flipping this “loaded” egg batter.
(* Garlic can be added in a dry powder form or fresh, depending on how powerful you want it to be.)

The key is in the first flip, before the top has been cooked. This uncooked side can tear during the flip, so make sure that you have the entire omelet loose from the pan before trying to flip it. I tend to keep a non-stick pan strictly for eggs and pancakes, as other types of frying will cause enough wear to make your eggs stick. Use a good spatula, and once you are beneath the omlelet, flip it fast! Doing it slowly will almost surely cause it to break. The speed of a good flip will hold the mixture together; though practice is usually needed. Don’t expect the first one to be perfect. Another hint is to hold the pan over the sink in case some of the mixture drops out. A drop of egg in the sink is better than getting it on a hot burner!

Finally, you will need to flip it back over after the “top” has cooked. Then add your meat and cheese and fold it over. The omelet pictured feeds both myself and my wife –with a few accompaniments.


"Loaded" Egg Batter

Meat - in this case it was Shrimp

Side One

First Flip

Second Flip

Inside toppings/fillings

Finished Omelet

Omelet Breakfast

Cutris Wears Out Shoes

Cutris Wears Out Shoes
November 24, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Cutris has returned home to Minnesota! At a news conference in St. Paul’s east side, Cutris told reporters about his journey home after his trip to the moon aboard his homemade flying saucer, crash-landing and subsequent bouncing to Africa in his protective suit, and then flying a WW2 German airplane, crash-landing in Libya, bouncing into the Atlantic Ocean, rescue by Norwegian fishermen, transfer to Massachusetts, before finally walking nearly 1,500 miles home.

“It took me all weekend and part of Monday to make it home.” Said Cutris; “I traded my protective suit to the owner of Fong’s Chinese Buffet for a meal and a bamboo tube filled with rice for my journey. I jogged through much of Pennsylvania to save time, and took a 5-minute break in Elkhart, Indiana before walking past Chicago, through Wisconsin and back home.”

Cutris seemed to be in good spirits and good health, except for a slight scratch that appeared to be mostly healed on his right, index finger –allegedly sustained during his reentry to Earth. He did say that he now needed a new pair of shoes.

“My shoes pretty much wore out by the time I got back to Minnesota,” said Cutris, I’ll probably have to buy a new pair.”

Cutris' worn out shoes

Friday, November 21, 2008

How to Stop Somali Pirates...


Cutris Back in the USA

Cutris Back in the USA
November 21, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Cutris is back in the U.S.A., according to sources today. He was transferred from the Norwegian fishing vessel that rescued him, to a U.S. Navy Destroyer. Eventually, he hitched a ride with the U.S. Coast Guard to return to the U.S. mainland; somewhere on the coast of Massachusetts. Cutris then apparently started walking west, toward Minnesota. No confirmation of his current whereabouts is known.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Explorer Rescued by Norwegian Fishermen

Explorer Rescued by Norwegian Fishermen
International Bizarre November 20, 2008

International explorer, Cutris, has been found alive by a Norwegian fishing boat in the Atlantic Ocean. Captain Olav Lefse, of the Norsk Stor Båt told reporters yesterday, that his men had pulled up their fishing net, only to discover a man in a big "puffy suit" inside. The man identified himself as Cutris, former U.S. presidential candidate turned explorer. Cutris will stay aboard the Norsk Stor Båt, until it reaches port or he can be transferred to a U.S. ship.

Video footage of Cutris

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Cutris Whereabouts Unknown

Cutris Whereabouts Unknown
November 18, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Former presidential candidate-turned-explorer Cutris has apparently made his way by caravan to North Africa, where he found an old WWII German airplane that he "fixed up."

Cutris travelled by similar caravan

Cutris then (according to the U.S. State Department) flew the airplane until it ran out of fuel.

Cutris flies old German airplane

It is at this point that Cutris sent this message, picked up by a U.S. satellite, monitoring transmissions from Libya.
Transcript: "Mayday, mayday, this is Cutris! I'm going down. Fortunately I'm still wearing my protective suit!"

The Cutris crash site caught at impact by Japanese tourists

A group of lost Japanese tourists happened to photograph the crash, and according to Hiroki Mashuita, a man in a "puffy suit" went bouncing away.

Cutris was wearing a protective suit like this one

Cutris is thought to have bounced to an unknown location. No more is known about his whereabouts at this time.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Cutris may be a Cliché

United States Central Intelligence Agency
Radio Signal Monitoring Division
November 17, 2008
5:19PM EST

REPORT: RE: Intercepted Cutris Radio Transmission #2

... The inhabitants have tried to make me out to be some sort of deity. I've tried my best to tell them that such an idea is cliché, and I cannot assume such a role. Their response was violent in nature, and I indicated that this too was a cliché, and I asked them where the "restroom" was. I was shown to a small hut, where I relieved myself in the blankets, as these poor people must do. When I left the hut, someone else was entering -probably for the same purpose. I heard angry shouts as I walked away, and I was eventually led to another hut with a radio. It appears that perhaps it was pulled off of an aircraft. I now get the feeling that these people would like me to leave here and find my way home...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Classified Document Indicates Cutris is Alive!

United States Central Intelligence Agency
Radio Signal Monitoring Division
November 14, 2008
2:57AM EST

REPORT: RE: Audio Transmission from African Congo thought to be Curtis

… I was saved by my protective suit during the crash-landing…
… My flying saucer is likely a complete loss. How I survived is both a miracle, and a tribute to the fine protective suit I was wearing…
… I assume by the people, animals and plant life, that I am somewhere in West Africa. I have sustained a tiny scratch to my right index finger as a result of the crash. I am otherwise in good health and reasonably good spirits. I am hoping that there are pizzas here. I've always said that if I were a wildman living in the forest, pizza would be my natural food. I'm also hoping to find some beer. I drank my last Leinenkugel's on the flight back to Earth. I'm hoping to make my way on foot to some sort of civilization. I need to find a way back to Minnesota. My wife is probably wondering where I am… (Static)


Cutris Crashes Back to Earth!

Cutris Crashes Back to Earth!
November 14, 2008
UnAssociated Press

With no pizza or beer to be found on the moon, Cutris apparently decided to make a hasty return to Earth. According to NASA officials, his craft crash-landed in the desert of southern New Mexico.

Cutris' flying saucer shown crash landing

Though no word has come from Cutris since the disastrous looking landing, he apparently was wearing a revolutionary protective suit, that may have caused him to bounce as much as 16,000 kilometers from the reentry site. Hope remains, that Cutris has survived this tragic event.

Photo showing a protective suit like the one Cutris may have been wearing

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Cutris Lands on the Moon

Cutris Lands on the Moon
November 13, 2008
UnAssociated Press

NASA released a statement this morning, that Cutris "may have" landed on the moon. Meanwhile, CNN is circulating pictures and a transcribed version of an alleged interview with the former candidate, now turned space explorer.

The Moon from the Cutris' flying saucer

CNN: What do you see yourself accomplishing on your moon trip?
CUTRIS: I'm going to find out if the moon is really made of cheese.
CNN: Do you have any preliminary results?
CUTRIS: Yes, this moon dirt tastes awful! I'm going to look for a pizza place!

Cutris shown searching the moon for pizza.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cutris sends Photos back to Earth

Cutris sends Photos back to Earth
November 12, 2008
UnAssociated Press

NASA has received confirmation that Cutris has been orbiting Earth for the last two days. He has "beamed" the following pictures back to Earth.

The first photo shows Cutris at the controls of his new flying saucer.

The second photo is a lovely view of the planet Earth from Cutris' flying saucer's window.

Cutris has apparently told NASA officials that he plans to "stop by the moon" next, as long as his "beer and pizza holds out."

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Cutris Appears to have Left the Earth

Cutris Appears to have Left the Earth!
November 11, 2008
Unassociated Press

NASA officials have indicated that a presumed UFO, was actually Cutris leaving the Earth in his homemade flying saucer. The presumed UFO was being chased by two F-16 Fighters, when the pilots reported that it appeared that the occupant of the saucer may have "mooned" them, before leaving the Earth's atmosphere.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Cutris Finds Flying Saucer

Cutris Finds Flying Saucer
November 10, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Former presidential candidate Cutris is back in the news this week. It seems he has found a tiny, (perhaps ancient) flying saucer embedded in a tree. Inside sources say that Cutris has been working in his basement to create a full size model, that will take him back into space.

More news is expected this week about this exciting project.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Johnson Controls

Just in case your Johnson is out-of-control...

But make sure to keep the controls locked up behind a fence. You don't want just anyone controlling your Johnson.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Obama’s Victory Belongs to All Americans

In all seriousness, a great thing has happened in the United States, and it should not be mishandled. To tout it as a “Black Victory” is completely undermining the true spirit of this achievement. The United States of America has perhaps matured to a point where it is no longer simply an old, rich, Caucasian who can be President. This not only reflects the changes in our collective attitudes, but also the changes in our population demographics. This victory belongs to all of us. The fact that an African-American has been voted to the top job in government can serve to unite us all, if it isn’t overly emphasized as a black victory. Barack Obama himself is biracial after all, and that too is symbolic of this victory that belongs to all of America.

Barack Obama would not have won the presidency if he didn’t have the votes of other races. In fact, the accusations that I heard prior to the election, that white voters would publicly support Obama, and then go into the privacy of the voting booth and vote for the white candidate, proved to be false! Many people of all races have felt that the government does not represent them. This may be due to unpopular wars, and the untruths that were used to begin them. It might be due to the use of torture or foreign detainees being held for years without representation. It might be because of the failing economy, prices rising, and tax breaks for the rich. At any rate, the public has voted, and we’ve voted to head in a new direction. How we choose to view this historic event, may define our collective culture and serve to show whether or not we have matured past our petty biases.

Oops! Cutris Didn't Win!

Cutris shown immediately after finding out that Florida found a hidden box of ballots under some old rags in a janitor's closet and then finding out that he had not won the 2008 Presidential Election.


Cutris Wins Presidential Election!

Cutris shown immediately after finding out he won the 2008 Presidential Election.


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Cutris grabs an early lead at the polls. Expected to win by landslide!

Early voting results show Cutris with a strong lead against McCain and Obama. Polling places are overrun with write-in votes!


Monday, November 03, 2008

Remember to Vote for Cutris!

Tomorrow is the big day! It's time to vote for the one candidate who didn't run a negative campaign. Cutris didn't have to tell you how horrible the other candidates are, you already know that. Cutris didn't call your cell phone or put pamphlets in your door. It's time to show your appreciation. Cutris will work on the national debt, to avoid China running their flag up the White House pole by default after they own us. Cutris will focus on alternative energy. Cutris will run the terrorists out of town with a big stick! Remember to write Cutris on your ballet.
Cutris is the real choice for middle America.


Sunday, November 02, 2008

Six String Playground

We saw these guys play Saturday night. It was a really good show!
Six String Playground.

Saturday Hike in the Wildlife Refuge

What a beautiful day for a hike between Long Meadow Lake and the Minnesota River...