The thoughts of a writer.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Carpet Cleaning

I was planning to rent a machine and clean my own carpets, when I noticed a coupon in the local newspaper for "$7.95 per room, 2 room minimum."
How interesting... I had just two rooms to do.
It did say, "other charges may apply." O.K. I bet they do...
I could do it for around $30 or so myself with "The Rug Doctor" from Cub Foods.
I decided to call and they could send someone out the next day (today).
There was a pre-treater for the path walked around the bedroom, there was a Teflon (isn't that poisonous?) treatment to prevent stains, and he measured 423 sq. ft of carpet.
Grand total, $294!
Umm... does that sound like $7.95 x 2?
He had his stuff lugged up there, and had already done a sample, and I said no chance I would pay that much.
He called his boss, and got it down to $168.
I said I could do it for $30 myself, and he told me how he had better chemicals, better equipment, etc. This was true, but I told him the coupon was deceiving.
After hanging up from talking with "the boss," he said he would do it for $60.
I told him if he cleaned the carpet in the closets, he had a deal.
He filled the machine up 3x, and I watched him rake, pre-treat, clean, treat, rake again, and he was sweating profusely and worked his butt off.
Bottom-line, I paid more than if I did it myself, but I am happy with the outcome.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Cutris Returns to the Woods…

You can take Cutris out of the woods, but you can’t take the woods out of Cutris…

I have been stripping wallpaper, cleaning and painting for about a month and a half. During that time, I hadn’t been hiking in the woods like I normally do. Finally, yesterday, I decided that I needed to take a break from my condo work, and get back into the natural world.

I bought that pair of boots I had been thinking about buying, on my way home from work. It was going to be another beautiful, sunny, 70 degree (Fahrenheit) day. This time I wouldn’t miss it. I also meant to test those boots to see if they were really waterproof.

When I left the trail and headed into the woods, I soon found my way blocked by flood waters. I could see that the water had been much higher before, as I was climbing over the branches, trees and debris left behind as the water receded. I managed to pick my way through and started my journey around Fisher Lake. I had to redirect my path several times due to water, and I knew that toward the end of my hike, the levee might be flooded, which could mean a long hike back the way I had come.

I was getting a good workout navigating the debris and mud, when the thorns of a wild rose caught my leg and I felt it tear the skin under my denim pants. I was wearing a denim jacket as well, but it was almost too warm on this April day.

I love winter hiking for so many reasons. Those reasons were coming back to me now as I shooed a couple of early mosquitoes away from my ear, and when I pulled three wood ticks off of me. I smiled at the pain from the rose thorns. It had been awhile since I had been out here, and the scrapes and cuts I usually had were replaced by flecks of paint. Despite the minor difficulties, it was good to be back in the woods.

The geese and ducks were back. There were egrets and Great Blue Herons flying overhead. When I reached the Bald Eagle nest, I could see the white top of the bird’s head above the nest. That was a very good sign. As I reached the open area along the Minnesota River, I had a Red-tailed Hawk fly circles around me, as if to welcome me back. The river was just below flood stage, which hinted at why the low spots were still flooded by the merging of the river and the lakes.

When I reached the levee, it was underwater –as I suspected it might be. So far, my feet were dry in my new boots, even though my pants were wet at the bottom. It was about two hours back the way I came (at a good pace), or less than half an hour if I crossed. The water was at least a foot deep in places. That was well over the top of my new (waterproof) hiking boots. I made the decision, and ran through quickly. I was pretty wet, but at least I would be back to my car soon, and I was tired from climbing debris.

Later, as I sat in my car writing up my (ranger) report for the US Fish & Wildlife Service, I pulled another wood tick off of my neck and smiled as I tossed it out the window. I looked down at my new boots. They didn’t exactly look new anymore, and that made me smile too. It was good to get back in the woods.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Police Dog?

This picture was too great not to share...

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The "Bald Eagle," gives a Detention Account...

Kid’s Name (dad in prison for murder) is in detention. His English class is working on poetry, and he flipped out.
I have him in the detention room now. We've had our battles in the past...
I cautioned him to gain control of his temper, and let him know I've had to work on that myself over the years.
I also offered to help him with his poetry assignment.
He's trying to be ultra-cool, but I don't think he is quite sure what to think of the “Eagle.”
He is completely calm right now.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Cutris Meets Ryan Seacrest!

Cutris Meets Ryan Seacrest!
April 23, 2006
UnAssociated Press

Presidential candidate Kevin J. Curtis (aka Cutris) was spotted in a trendy Burnsville nightclub shaking hands with American Idol celebrity, Ryan Seacrest. When asked about the meeting, Ryan said, “It was great to meet Cutris. I think he’ll make a fine president!”

When Cutris was asked about the meeting, he said, “Meeting Ryan Seahorse, was probably the most exciting thing that happened to me in the last three minutes!”

Photo by, Jenn4 Productions

Friday, April 21, 2006

Spring grows detentions

The detention room is rather full today!
The kids are into fighting, hitting, etc.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Bush & Rumsfeld's Song

Thanks to Mark for sending this...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Public Service Announcement

Starting next month, this blog will be available in either fresh cougar or desert camel scent.


April 18, 2006
UnAssociated Press

It was reported today, that Cutris has created the very first, Universal Flipping-Bird-Ray. This invention may be the most insidious device known to humankind. It allows Cutris to “flip the bird” to everyone in the world simultaneously!

It was only days ago that the world was in shock by Iran’s announcement of enriching uranium. Not long ago it was the North Koreans who had developed nuclear weapons. Now this!

When asked to comment about his new device, Cutris simply said that he will not use it, until everyone really pisses him off.

The U.S. State Department has apparently contacted Cutris to try to either buy or steal the device from him. Cutris was unalarmed by the report, saying that he had it “well hidden.”

Monday, April 17, 2006

13 gallons of paint

13 gallons of paint.
That's how much paint I will have used when I finish painting my condo from top to bottom.
That breaks down to,
4 gallons of primer
3 gallons of ceiling paint
1 gallon of shiny white for doors, vanity, etc.
1 gallon of yellow for bathroom
1 gallon of green for kitchen
1 gallon of light beige for living room and hallway
2 gallons of light blue for bedroom.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Presidential Candidate Cutris Weighs in on Immigration

Wow, what an inflammatory issue!
If you are against allowing illegal aliens into the country, you are automatically seen as a racist in the minds of some people.

As a candidate and a citizen, here is my view.

It is true that aliens are doing jobs that no one else wants to do.
It is also true, that someone (already a citizen) would do these jobs, if they were paid enough. (Note* - At one time, I cleaned out the insides of asphalt tankers because the pay was good.)

It is true that aliens contribute to society as workers and consumers.
It is also true that they are not paying taxes, and they are using services such as medical and education, that are funded by (mostly property) tax money.

With the current threat to National Security, no foreign person should be allowed to bypass immigration laws. There is also a limit to how many people can immigrate at one time without bogging down services and competing for jobs and housing. There are poor people already in the USA that need help too.

Finally, it is simply not fair, to allow someone who has come into the country illegally, to have immunity from deportation and automatic citizenship. Many people immigrate into the USA, legally. Often it takes many years for this to happen.
Perhaps the process needs to be simplified, so less people will see the need to sneak in.
It should not take ten years to decide if someone can enter the country legally or not.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reports... again

April 11, 2006
Cycle 1, Blue Planet
Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting

Once again, I have returned to the Blue Planet in search of any remoflactions of Intelligent Life. My last two visits were inconclusive, though most of my observations lead me to believe that there are no higher forms of intelligence here.

I disguised myself in the synthetic/plant material coverings that the dominant species use to cover themselves with. My plan was to once again, move about the communal living spaces where the bipedal beings tend to congregate. They were, of course, still utilizing the two-way radio devices that are frequently seen being held close to their auditory canals. They were also still traveling in quad-rolling transports.

I’ve noticed that procreation seems to be handled by two very different members of the same species –much like the Pilmorai of Vindis 8. Unlike the Pilmorai though, the close connection between the sexes is not always harmonious. The two divisions seem bent on disagreeing with one another. The disagreements can stem from many things, such as what frequency to tune in their video screens, to what kind of food to feed to their offspring.

While one of these two variations is usually physically dominant, the smaller variety is clearly in charge. While the larger one is frequently responsible for piloting the quad-rolling transport and shortening the field of thin leaved plants, the smaller one is often in charge of when and how it gets done. The larger of these primitive bipedal creatures, often compensates by becoming deaf to the particular tone or frequency of its mate’s oral noises. This tends to infuriate the other.

One particular contentious issue seems to be whether the sitting device is up or down on the aquatic-bodily-excretion unit. I found this out while attending a gathering of these beings. One poor individual was taking quite an auditory beating from his mate about that very subject. He gained solace by staying with his own kind, and remarking about the size of his mate’s hindquarters. It was difficult to imagine that they inhabited the same dwelling, yet they left arm-in-arm after the brain cell damaging beverages were all consumed. Perhaps it is the abundance of these beverages that makes these beings so low in intelligence.

Trying to fit in, I ingested several minoblactars of these drinks, and found it to reduce my cognitive powers by quite a bit. I decided to leave the gathering, before I blew my cover. It was difficult to maneuver in a straight line down the travel path, and soon I drew the attention of two of those infuriating blue covered aliens in the noisy quad-rolling transport with flashing lights. They attacked me when I tried to flee, and I was once again, forced to secrete fomboorg on their weapons to melt them. I made my escape while the two aliens stared dumbfounded at their melted torture devices.

My findings still indicate that the Blue Planet has no real intelligent life on it. I hold little hope that this will change.


If I Could

What spills out of the writer at 4:30AM?

If I Could

If I could make it better, I would.
If I could make you love me, I would.
If I could walk away, I would.
But I can't.
The only reason it matters, is because I care.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Nuclear Irony, Bush, and my Run for the Presidency

Yesterday (and again this morning), I heard on the news that the Bush Administration is considering air-strikes against Iran, to stop that country from potentially creating nuclear weapons.
This, in my opinion, would be, starting a war, to try to prevent a potential threat.

The story continued, saying that the US (I disagree, so isn’t it ironic that US doesn’t mean us?) may use tactical nuclear weapons in these air-strikes, to bust through the bunkers that the nuclear buildup is taking place in.
This, in my opinion, would be starting a nuclear war, to try to prevent a potential nuclear threat.

Does anyone see the irony in this???

In the past, I have talked about running for president.
I have also disapproved of the policies of our current administration.

I am having a difficult time, watching the policies of our country swirling down the toilet, while the lever (on the upper left of the tank) is being pulled by a spoiled, rich brat, who doesn’t realize that his policies are causing fear in other countries, and that causes them to want nuclear weapons!

I will run for President, but all of you out there have to help me.
Send my website,
…better include this particular entry,
… to everyone you know, so we can start the Kevin J. Curtis for President campaign and take back our government. God hope we can wait until the next election. Things are going to be awfully screwed up by then…

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Shut-up Bladge!

Who's Bladge???
If you've watched the Clint Eastwood movie, "The Outlaw Josey Wales," there is a scene where Josey is held at gunpoint by two would-be bounty hunters. Throughout the scene, one of these men continuously tells the other to shut-up. It is hard to determine what the name is he is saying after repeating "shut-up," but it sounds like he's saying "Bladge." I finally looked the scene up at,

In the film, Abe pulls his gun on Josey: "I've got him, Lije."
"It's him, Abe. It's him! We've got the Josey Wales, Abe! I've seen him ride side by side with Bloody Bill, Abe. We've got reward money coming. Watch it, Abe. He's mean as a rattler and twice as fast with them pistols."
Abe tells Josey to "Move on back; move on back!"
Lije comes up with more warnings: "Watch him, Abe! I've seen him do some things?
"Shut up, Lije"
Abe explains why he isn't killing Josey immediately:
"Now, Mr Josey Wales.I'd just as soon shoot you now but it'd be harder to drag your body through the brush to where we can get a pound price for you. "
Lije wisely disagrees: "Shoot him now, Abe. Shoot him, now!"
"Shut up, Lije." Abe is trying hard to concentrate on Josey!
"Move your left hand down and unbuckle that pistol belt. Make it nice and slow so that I can count the hairs on that hand. See, Lije. You pull his teeth and he's harmless as a heel hound. Always wanted to face out one of these big pistol fighters they raise all the fuss about."
Abe is on a roll! Lije is still rightly concerned:
"Watch out! He's probably got another pistol."
"Shut up, Lije."
Josey's young dying friend distracts the bounty hunters with the possibility that there might be stolen gold under his blanket and both of the bounty hunters are soon shot. Lije was right Josey does, in fact, have an extra pistol in a shoulder holster!
Jamie wants to bury them but Josey is as practical and unsentimental as ever:
"Buzzards got to eat; same as worms."

My friends and I had been having fun telling each other to, "shut-up Bladge!"
Now it seems that "Bladge," is actually "Lije." Perhaps it is short for Elijah.
Anyway, we have decided that "Bladge," is much funnier, so we see no reason to change now...

Friday, April 07, 2006

Intruder Drill

We have intruder drills at the school. We've had two so far over the year. Both have been first hour, because as everyone knows, intruders only come to schools during first hour…

My experience was as follows. The Office Grand Pooba told me to lock the mailroom door because there was going to be an intruder drill. I was working in the copy room at the time. If a real intruder shows up, I wonder if I will have advanced notice to lock the door? When the announcement came to start the drill, I was unable to hear it so I kept working until someone turned the lights out on me!

I found “safe refuge,” in a conference room and made myself comfortable. That was when it happened! The all clear was given –which I couldn’t hear in the safety of the conference room. I did notice the lights were turned on though. Realizing that an intruder would be unable to locate the light switch, I decided it was safe.

I have also decided that when I am told that I have to spend part of my shift at the entrance checking in visitors, that I am going to be perfectly honest and let administration know that if someone comes in with a gun, I will point the person toward the office and get out of the way.

I have already suggested a security camera and monitor and a door with an intercom and switch to “buzz” people in. I’m sure the initial outlay of money will prevent this from happening, even though it means hiring another person at poverty wages to help staff the door.

The world is run by “small picture” people. In a big picture world, we would get the security system. It would save money in the long run, and everyone would be much safer.

Thursday, April 06, 2006


I've heard rumors of some changes at the school. The possibility exists that I might spend part of the day at the door to check in visitors. Apparently it is something that used to be done, was stopped due to budget cuts, and is needed again because of recent intruders/threats.

Anyway, it doesn't sound very enjoyable to sit at the door with nothing to do. Besides, if someone walks in with an AK47, what am I supposed to do about it if I'm not armed?

It's probably time for a new job...

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

In Retrospect

Sometimes when you find something that seems truly wonderful, you pursue it. If you really want it, you will go through many difficulties to finally get it.

Eventually, it can become too much trouble with too little to show for it. Maybe you realize that it was a one-sided venture, or maybe you decide it isn't worth the time, heartache and effort anymore. That’s when you lose interest.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Good Movies

The Rutles
Especially funny after seeing the Beatles documentary.

84 Charlie Mopic
The Vietnam War through the lens of an 8mm movie camera. It feels like you are there.


Painting... Painting...


Back to Reality

Spring Break is over, and I'm back at the school in the detention room.
How quickly we fall out of the routine. I could use another breakfast and a cup of coffee right now. Then I would be ready to paint!

Speaking of painting, I think my bathroom is done. I will check how it dried today. Then I move to the kitchen. There was much work to do, and much of my time off was spent washing glue off walls, spackling and sanding. When I'm done, the whole place will be freshly painted! I'm so glad I could do this before I moved in!

At work, there was a new copier this morning. It is a Xerox 4110. It is about the size of a compact car. I was already using it when the Office Grand Pooba ran in to see if I was doing it right. It's funny how machines like that seem to be built so that you can figure them out without the help of a bossy person. I'm sure it cost a buttload of money, but with the electricity and paper that will be saved, it is worth it. The old copier jammed about every 5 minutes and wasted a couple of reams of paper daily in the process.

So with the change to daylight savings time, it was dark when I went to work again. I think I could use a nap. Why did I hate naps when I was a kid???